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Friday, 21 October 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 37 Friday 21st October 2011

DEAR MOZZIAH, PLEASE HELP ME.

Well the title has taken on a new meaning since I wrote it. I was going to ask for help with that rampant rabbit Buck that you sent to us as your only begotten son. No wonder you sent him away, I bet he's already worked his way through everything that moves up there with you in Heaven, or infinity, or all aroundusville, or where ever it is you live? LA/London/Rome you say, is that around here? Bit of a mouthful. And what's the postcode of this LA/London/Rome place? Actually, in all seriousness, how does your Postman cope? What do the Royal Mail do with all the letters that are just addressed 'To The Mozziah'? Where do they send 'em? I mean, it's easy enough for Father Christmas, his all go to Lapland. I guess The Tooth Fairy at least has a PO Box Number, but what happens to your mail? Do they just sort them  in turns? One to LA, one to London, one to Rome or have you got your own 'special' postman who just gets on his bike and brings it to wherever you've told them you will be residing? And what about tour post? If any of us should need to write, do we just address it to The Mozziah, that coach parked outside The Plaza Condesa, Mexico City? And what if you aren't in the bus, does postie just stick it under the windscreen wiper? And how do you get permission to leave your bus on those double yellow lines all day at these places? All these questions Mozziah that we've wanted answered in all those interviews. All those interviews where you just say NOTHING. They're all scared stiff of you these interviewers. So overwhelmed by your presence, they ask you bugger all and you therefore tell 'em nothing. The only interesting thing anyone has ever gotten from you, is that your Mum's called Betty Dwyer, and that information was only gleaned because that Blithering Baggie Adrian Childs just presumed your mother was Mrs Morrissey, does he not realise we live in a broken society? No one has the same name as their mum anymore. When I was at school, the kids who's surnames were different to their mum's were bullied, picked on and called b*stards. Now if you're name is the 'same' as your Mum's you're a freak, unless of course you're at private school, oh yes, it's different there. The parents who've sacrificed everything to make sure their kids are given at least a half chance in this messed up society we once called Great Britain, they don't split up. Oh no, they work out their differences, pull together and keep their morals and values high. Middle Britain DOES still exist but the drawbridge is up and the Under class must stay away. Notice it's now Middle Britain, NOT Great Britain or Great Middle Britain? No, the Great disappeared a long long time ago. Did anyone actually notice exactly when it went? Was the 'Great Britain' flag lowered one night while none of us were looking, and a slightly moth eaten 'Britain' one erected in it's place? Well that one is now more than moth eaten, it's virtually decayed away, gone forever, but don't say that TOO loud or you'll be accused of racism, anti-nationalism and all sorts. NOBODY must speak their mind, and NOBODY is. I am that NOBODY, we're all THAT NOBODY and we're watching hopelessly as our country is falling apart. Hopeless & helpless. The World is falling apart and all we can do is gather with our own for any sort of comfort away from reality.
  0000(BST, When are those clocks going back?) Whatever made The Mozziah decide to build his blog is irrelevant, it is his modern day Temple, his Ark and he is gathering together his animals, two by two, four by four, the numbers are growing, the message is being spread. The believers are coming to the Ark. The work of the 'followers' must continue. But beware 'False Gods'. Beware the Anti-Mozziah who is trying to throw a veil over the coming of the true Mozziah. Beware the one who says, ' I am the Resurrection and I am the light', for these are false promises from a Man'i' made God. (I am SO SO sorry, but I really must stop at this point and not only pat myself on the back but take myself down the pub and buy myself a beer. 'Mani Made God?', Christ, that is THE funniest thing I've EVER read, and I wrote it! If there's ANY justice in this world, someone somewhere is surely going to read this in 3 months time, when it's all gone viral, and offer me a job! Now where was I ?, oh yes) Their coming will be quick and short lived. The real coming, the coming of the true Mozziah may take time. Rome wasn't built in a day, nor LA, nor London, but they were built eventually & old greedy guts bought houses in ALL of them, (Sorry Mozziah, unnecessary and uncalled for dig, you worked hard for them houses. No other bugger thought to write Our Frank, (not surprised), you deserve it sir, all of it. Sorry once again * thinks about deleting the last sentence in case Mozziah is in one of his 'Airport' moods, but decides against it in the hope that Mozziah might actually find it funny. Pauses for further thought, thinks about leaving the houses joke in, but changing the Our Frank reference to another song in case that happens to be one of The Mozziah's personal favorites. Can't think of a crap one, so decides to leave it in and hope for the best* ).
  Anyway, back to the very first line of this blog. Today I visited the MorrisseysWorld website and there, hidden in the comments section of the last message was this: ADMIN: 'Mozzer has long since left the building. Essays, including one from 'Russ' to be published after US tour. Owner has done all he can to publicise website & so have I. Now down to ConMorrissey Theorists. If nobody tells the So-lows, and nobody tells the media, and nobody tells anyone else, who knows what will happen at Oakland? Fate is in your hands'. This message was shortly followed by another which read, 'The owls are not what they seem. Treat one another kindly - you never know who you are talking to. Admin Guy'. Well I've no idea who the owls are, I guess So-lowers, but the 'nobody' mentioned three times is unfortunately me. It is the reference I used on day one of my blog and a reference I use when thanking people for their kind words about my blogging. The message from The Mozziah is that this can go on for as long or as short as WE want it to. Fate is in our hands. Either we invite people in or we don't, it's up to us. Do we try and get the attention of the so far deaf and mute twitter media, or do we leave them to their Football Manager? Shortly after posting the above messages, all previous blogs were taken down because The Mozziah's 'fans' started attacking and abusing each other in the way they apparently did on the website so-low. The VERY reason The Mozziah started HIS own site, for his genuine fans, is because he hated what had happened on So-low. And now the temple he had built for his people was being pulled down brick by brick, stone by stone from the inside. THIS IS NOT the wish of The Mozziah. But Mozziah, what is your wish? I am tired & need sleep and help. Dear Mozziah, Please Help Me.
    0400 BST Now you are going to HAVE to believe what I am just about to type, I haven't gone mad, this is genuinely all TRUE. Before going to bed, I took one quick peak in to twittersville and saw that I'd just missed @BucktoothedBoy, yes he the rampant rabbit. His tweets showed that he'd been blowing kisses to everybody, my God, he just can't help himself. I swear to you, he's taking this role as the new JC very seriously, and loving the accolade. Anyway, as I was saying, I'd missed him on twitter, but he'd left me a youtube message. It was Asleep by The Smiths. I took heed of the words and went to bed. And here I am now, it is 4am and I, the man who hasn't had a dream in a long time, have woken full of messages and instructions from The Mozziah. I can't get them written down quick enough. Firstly, I have five words screaming at me; Trouble, Action, Monster, Murder, Light. Many of you will recognise them, they are five of The Mozziah's song titles. I believe they are to represent the final five songs of the set list on tour. TROUBLE Loves Me is an anagram meaning 'LOVE MT BLUE ROSE'. Those roses really do get everywhere. The empty blue rose, I believe is a Man City supporter. I could be wrong, but I think it's Johnny Marr. ACTION is My Middle Name, I believe will be the new single, released on either the London or Fontana record label. A MONSTER, is an anagram of AN MT ROSE. Another bloody rose. November Spawned an MT ROSE I believe is a self reference to The Mozziah starting the tour bereft of roses and concerned his message is lost & nobody will bring roses to the concerts, but Mozziah, NOBODY will bring roses, we are NOBODY, they will come. MURDER is of course Meat Is MURDER. I believe this will be the last song of the main set. The three crashes of the large cymbal will signal the end of the song, the back drop will turn from white to red, The Mozziah will pause before leaving the stage and this is the cue for roses to be thrown to the stage. The band will then leave the stage. LIGHT, I believe represents the song There Is A LIGHT That Never Goes Out. It is The Mozziah's true defining song, the one that the fans never want to be cliche enough to say is their favorite, but it is just known it is THE song. As the encore, it is saying that we are United as a group, those that believe in The Mozziah are as one with him. it is HIS song for HIS people. (Heavy stuff eh?) I don't believe there is a desperate hurry to spread the word in full, it can grow. Old JC didn't have a million followers overnight, 'It Takes Time' (Hold on, I swear I'm not making this up, I am being TOLD to google these words, so I will *Pause* It Takes Time is a Patti Smith song, I HONESTLY have never heard of this song. The Mozziah is telling us to play it and LISTEN to the words.)  The message DOES NOT need to come before Chicago, Oakland or indeed Guadalajara, the message is already being passed and the message will grow, the roses will flow. Some may not find The Mozziah for 2000 years, long after the physical self has gone and his three homes turned to rubble (although plot value should be pretty good in 2000 years, all prime locations and all that). The World Won't Listen you say Mozziah? They will, they will, they will. The true word can be delivered in many ways, whether through a High Court, A stage,Twittersville, newspapers, radio, TV or in the VERY best way possible Mozziah, through your 'singing' voice. (Thank Christ Marr ain't the Marrsiah, there'd have been no hope! Sorry. Sorry. Pathetic, I know. Cheap and pathetic, funny though). Oh and Mozziah, if The Buck Toothed Boy is your postman, just be careful, he's got previous for nicking mail. I am now going to go back to bed, but there is one last thought nagging in my head, why did Amanda Holden send a tweet yesterday saying 'Please walk my virtual dog Riley'. Now what the hell can that mean?
   Anyway, a quick update before I go back to bed, back to MorrisseysWorld blogsite, twitter, the followers, the Twitterdilly Palare etc. What a carry on. Old Buck is flirting with anything that moves, he's even had a nibble at me. I know there's this 'We must all love each other' attitude with these religions, but old Buckster's taking it far too literally for my liking. Mind you, I've probably brought a bit of it on myself. It's alright during the day when I'm out there in twittersville as 'The Rats Back', but of an evening I've taken to wearing my 'Up The Pier' costume, and it would appear (a pier, geddit? no you're right, lame, and this writing lark had all been going so well) it brings out the dandy in me. I wouldn't want to be accused of leading anyone up the garden path, let alone up the pier, round the dodgems and behind the candy floss stall, so I will play a bit harder to get with old Buck and see if he loses interest. I'm afraid my Big Hope, 'Journalist Josh' has let me down, he seems more interested in Football Manager 2012, which incidentally is out today and available at all the usual High St (or internet these days if your High St has disappeared) stockists. Viner never came back despite the winking and not a peep from Josh's mate Andy from The Sun who is probably nursing a hangover from yesterday. I bet he was useless in the pub quiz too! Chicory Tip, who'd have thought?
 Nothing else to report, I have at last bought Nothing Rhymed on itunes. I had to wait until they released 'The Berry Vest Of Gilbert O'Sullivan'. Clever title eh? And now I MUST get some sleep, I am SO tired. *Smiles to one's self yet again* 'Mani Made Gods', bloody funny that.
  0800 I just DON'T believe this, remember the Amanda Holden message, the one I presumed was just a meaningless tweet? 'Walk My Virtual DOG Riley'. Dog is an anagram of God. The virtual God, not a real God but the one we rely on in internet world for the 'true' word, the virtual God is Riley, Julia Riley, the owner of TRUE-TO-YOU.net. We are to walk with Julia. I therefore ask one thing of The Mozziah, one LAST sign before the tour. Please acknowledge MY blog on True To You by saying you like it, which SHOULD bring ALL your fans here, and if they bother to read it from the start, they WILL BELIEVE. The WHOLE story is here in this blog. Mozziah, do this one thing for me, release me from this blog, I REALLY can't keep it going. All of you reading this, IT IS ALL TRUE, WEAR YOUR ROSES TO THE CONCERTS, ONLY WHITE OR RED ROSES WHICH MUST BE DEVOID OF THORNS. THROW YOUR ROSE ON TO THE STAGE AT THE END OF MEAT IS MURDER.
 And now, hopefully, My work is done. I hope you have all enjoyed reading my blog, I have enjoyed writing it. I am a NOBODY, we are all NOBODY and soon The Mozziah will come.

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