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Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 77 Wednesday 30th November 2011


I suppose it had to happen one day, and it has. My blog yesterday reported that somebody on So-Low had commented that a rose was given to The Mozziah at Pomona, and that he sniffed it and tossed it away. That is partly true, but not ENTIRELY the whole story. At the end of 'Everyday Is Like Sunday', which incidentally is surely the best song ever, ever, ever, except for the other couple of hundred of course, well at very least it has to be in EVERYBODY'S Top 10? No, Top 5, definitely Top 5 and don't let anybody try and suggest another classic to dislodge it to No.6, it's Top 5 and staying there, and when I say Top 5, I might even be talking Number 4, it might EVEN be Top 3 but that would mean dislodging 'Trouble', 'Disco Dancer', 'November', 'Teenage Dad', 'Reel', 'How Soon', 'I Like You', 'Crashing Bores', 'Charming Man', this is ridiculous, why does anybody ever feel the need to put them in any sort of order anyway? Where was I, oh yes, after finishing 'Everyday Is Like Sunday', one of my Top 15 songs ever, The Mozziah headed straight to the section of the crowd where two red roses were being waved around. He shook one person's hand and then ignored all the other hands, and instead, leaned forward to reach one of the roses. He sniffed it, pretended to sneeze, tossed it away and staggered to the far side of the stage, still mock sneezing as the band finished playing. He then turned to the section of the crowd from where he had taken the rose and bowed towards the rose giver, before then turning to bow to the rest of the audience. The Mozziah promised to appear with a rose before Christmas, and now he has.
  The performance on 'Conan' of 'People Are The Same Everywhere' was superb, this song is another future classic, it's funny with songs, some don't touch the sides, some are instant favourites and some just grow and grow. 'People' is a definite grower and I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up being the opening track on the new elpee, talking of which, where is it? It is now nearly six months since The Mozziah played 'People', 'The Kid's A Looker' and 'Action Is My Middle Name' on the Janice Long show. SIX MONTHS! I'm sure a deal must have been done but perhaps not, maybe, with the upcoming court case, it is more advantageous to show that he can't get a record deal? Eventually of course, a deal will come and an elpee will be released, so what can we expect? Well one would presume the three aforemetioned songs, plus 'Scandinavia', which is in the set list, will all be on it, and obviously another half a dozen new gems, but a recent poll I have conducted (sort of), shows that the fans would like to see the all time, undisputed Number 1, 'Trouble Loves Me' given a new airing, with a long piano introduction at the beginning. This poll, has also revealed that the fans are crying out for the reworked 'Meat Is Murder', along with the new EAT - KILL lyrics, be added to the new elpee to celebrate the milestone 27th birthday of the song. Finally, and maybe surprisingly, virtually everybody polled, in fact no, EVERYBODY polled,  has requested a rework of 'Death Of A Disco Dancer' also be included. This is a great idea, an album combining new songs and reworked classics, it's a winner I tell thee, a winner.
 So tomorrow, Oakland, and a 'sea' of roses. In fact a 'lake' will do, or a 'stream' even. Okay, let's settle for a puddle, a puddle of red and white roses, along with a Justin Bieber t shirt. What WOULD the So-Lowers do? It couldn't be put down as a coincidence. It's not long now, it's not long now, it's not long now, it is brown cow, it's brown cow to red leader, brown cow to red leader, come in red leader.
Ps. Finger still poorly I see.

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 76 Tuesday 29th November 2011


The first lot of Youtube footage to appear today from last night's Pomona concert/event/show/performance thingy, showed lots of gladioli being wafted around, had we been transported back to 1984? Well with ALL the audience seemingly filming the show on their 'cell phones', it certainly would seem that Big Brother is watching The Mozziah's every move but footage posted later in the day clearly showed 'Red Roses' being held at the front, two of them. The Mozziah appears to ignore them in the footage I've seen of 'You're The One For Me Fatty', but according to comments on the wretched So-Low site, The Mozziah did apparently take one of the roses at one point, sniff it, pretend to sneeze, and then toss it away. I haven't seen any footage of this and of course So-Low cannot be trusted as a source of 'true' information, but if that comment is true, does it have any significance? The two most significant things from Pomona are 1) Roses were taken, so there are 'other' believers out there and 2) Meat Is Murder was moved in the set list to be the last song before the encore. The Mozziah always said on MorrisseysWorld that after the sound of the three loud drums, the white will turn to red, (or was it red to white?) and this will be the sign to switch from So-Low to MW. He also said, that at this point, roses should be tossed to the stage, just before the encore. I have seen no footage of Meat Is Murder from last night's show, but presume no roses were tossed at that time. So, Thursday night sees the last concert, in this leg of the tour, in Oakland, the venue that The Mozziah always seemed to mention. Will there be a 'sign'? So-Low has today had a comment placed on it relating to Justin Bieber, so are we to see Bieber t shirts being worn in Oakland? Tonight The Mozziah is appearing on the Conan TV show, will there be a rose subtly placed either on the interviewer's desk or on a speaker? And what if there is NEVER a sign? Does it all die or do the 'followers' take it upon themselves to form the secret 'Rose Society' anyway and let it happen without The Mozziah's input? Tick tock, tick tock.

Monday, 28 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 75 Monday 28th November 2011

I have sent The Mozziah an email, it read as follows:
Dear Mozziah, I have just been reading through the comments on So-Low, a place I only ever used to visit to find out the set lists from your concerts, should I call them concerts, or do you prefer performances, why is it you dislike the word 'gig', everybody else in the rock 'n' roll industry seems to prefer gig? Anyway, I never used to bother reading through the comments on the So-Low site, as invariably the comments were nothing to do with the concert/performance/gig/event, I like event, a much stronger word, I believe the big conked Gallagher brother once referred to your concert's as 'events', probably the wisest thing he's ever said, he's in my bad books at the moment for saying you perform Johnny Marr songs, they are YOUR songs, a song is 'A short poem or other set of words set to music', therefore, your poem equals your song, not Johnny's, he's an instrumentalist/musician. I'm not saying Johnny didn't have a major input by putting music to your poems but the music is NOTHING without the words, there are very few 'instrumentals' that get to number one are there? Of the 1,178 UK number 1's, I reckon no more than about twenty were instrumentals, in fact, I will attempt to name them all; the first ever was 'The Theme From Moulin Rouge' by Mantovani, Eddie Calvert had a couple thanks to his 'golden' trumpet, was it golden? doubtful, and in fact one of his number ones 'Cherry Pink & Apple Blossom White' had already been a number one for Perez Prado. Right, that's four so far but we are still talking about the early 50's, when nobody had anything worth singing about. Russ Conway banged out a couple of number ones on his (golden?) Piano and then of course The Shadows came along to have five number ones, purely because the public were relieved to not hear Cliff. 'Wonderful Land' was good though. Jet Harris branched off to had one with Tony Meehan, oh and I forgot 'On the Rebound' by Floyd Cramer, so that's thirteen. Damn, I also forgot Winifred Atwell's 'Poor People Of Paris', I must confess a soft spot for Winifred, are you aware of her work? The first black artist to have a number one in the UK and still the only female instrumentalist to have a number one, perhaps Madonna should try it, she could just mime along and do us all a favour. Telstar of course, which incidentally was also the first 'tune'/record (not 'song') to go to number one in the US by a British 'band' , and finally from the sixties, a deserved number one for Hugo Montenegro with 'The Good, The Bad & The Ugly'. Only two 'Seventies' number ones that I can think of, 'Amazing Grace' and 'Eye Level', we used to always watch Van der Valk in our house, did you? I can't think of any number ones from the nineteen haties and in fact, the only other two I can think of since the seventies are 'Doop' by Doop and the song from the advert with the little yellow glove puppet. So that's twenty, not a bad guess but I may have missed some. I doubt it though, I own every number one single, I don't know why, just something that happened. I'm a bit obsessive with my number ones. It's getting harder and harder to keep the collection going because of downloads, some artistes don't even bother with cd's anymore, let alone vinyl, not like you Mozziah, you always release on vinyl, don't ever stop that will you? Supposing you get a new record deal that is, have you got one yet? Was I correct with my guess about London/Fontana? If you have signed, please release 'Action' as a single, or in fact 'People Are The Same', that's really grown on me? Do you care for feedback on songs? No I don't suppose you do, why should you, it's probably fair to say you know what you're doing. You do know what you are doing don't you? I seem to have digressed from the point of this email, 'So-Low', the only reason I have been reading through the comments on that dreadful site, is to try and understand why you hate it so much, and now I see! It is pure vile, a place full of racist comments and unbelievable scathing abuse toward you, from so called 'fans'. I cannot for the life of me understand why these people bother to take the time to criticise the person they supposedly worship and why oh why do they criticise the set list? Would JC's disciples or followers have criticised his sermons or preachings? Would dear Oscar's followers have criticised his prose? It's bad enough having The G*ardian, ENEMY and the rest of the press criticising you without your 'fans' doing it too, I feel your pain, I really do, 'I've been stabbed in the back so many, many times'. I am all for freedom of speech but most of those comments on So-Low should be removed, if not for being vile and racist, then for no other reason than being completely irrelevant to the thread they are on. Until I had read on MorrisseysWorld about David Ts*ng, I had no idea who he was and I still have no idea who Kewpie is, and have no desire to know, although I presume he is some sort of moderator. Mozziah, I don't want to have to go to So-Low to find the set list from each of your 'events', I want to go to a properly run, properly moderated site that is first with 'accurate' set lists and news and removes anything that is vile, racist, non topic related or unjustly critical of you. I don't want to know what songs 'Derek from Dulwich' wants in the set list, if you played every song that every person desired, you'd be there all night. I will never again criticise our vicar for not chosing 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen' at the annual carol service, although if we don't get 'Ding Dong Merrily On High' this year I swear I'll never go again, especially as it's getting so hard to park and there are so many dinosaurs in the congregation, and you always get the feeling they think they're 'superior', just because they're older and been there longer than you. Sorry, back to you Mozziah, (or was I referring to you?), what is all this criticism about the length of your sets? Surely people understand you have to protect your (golden?) tonsils and that playing longer sets could damage you? Years of yodeling takes it's toll on a throat and you are 'King Yodeler' Mozziah.
  Enough of my waffle, the point of this email is to ask you to bring back MorrisseysWorld as soon as possible. I'm sure Mozziah you have a master plan and it will return at a specific moment. I'm sure you are helping to bring down So-Low from the inside but please, please, please make it happen soon. Let 2011 be the last year that any of us ever have to visit So-Low. It will of course continue but we can all ignore it and it will eventually wilt and die.
 We await your 'sign' oh Mozziah.
  I'll dedicate to you, all my love, my whole life through, I'll love you forever and ever.
Ps Please could you add Trouble Loves Me to the set list?
Pps And Death of a Disco Dancer
Ppps Teenage Dad would also be great
Pppps November Spawned A Monster would also probably help to keep the natives quiet
Ppppps Reel Around the Fountain is always a crowd pleaser
Pppppps National Front Disco would really cap it all
Ppppppps I don't suppose there's any chance of a Christmas show with a sing-along of Ding Dong Merrily On High thrown in for good measure?

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 74 Sunday 27th November 2011

It would appear that @Its_only_me_K managed to take a red rose to last night's concert at The Shrine in LA. IOMK(It's Only Me K), you may remember from the blog the other day, attended the concert on the 23rd at The Henry Fonda Theater, but had no time to buy a rose. Well this time she found the time, well at least her friend did, and I've even seen the rose, in fact it's there for all to see because IOMK filmed the final song, 'Still Ill' and placed it on Twotter for all to see. So is the rose seen laying lonesome on the stage and does The Mozziah pause at the end of the concert, swoop down, pick up the rose and pin it to his shirt lapel? No, the rose can be seen in IOMK's friend's HAIR! Very pretty I'm sure, but how the hell can we expect MorrisseysWorld to reopen when concert after concert roses either aren't being taken or EVEN when they are taken, they are making it nowhere near to the stage, remaining in; purses (Cajun Cali), hidden inside jackets (Manc Lad) or in friend's barnet's (IOMK) ? CONCERTS 9 ROSES 0. If it was a boxing match the ref would step in at this point and stop it, WHAT IS GOING ON? The Mozziah must either be wallowing in his pool of self deprecation or splitting his side's with laughter. I think I'll write a song on his behalf and I'll call it 'What Must I Do'

What do you want from me after all I've given you? after all that I've done for you? and you say I'm the one for you but how do you show it? How can I know it? When everything's said and sung, when everyone's come and gone, when all is spent and shot, you say that I'm hot, I'm not, it's just words that you say, just empty nothing words, absurd words and of course I should've known, should've known, should've known, that I'll be forever alone, what do you want from me? what now must I do for you? I'm only here to give, only here to serve and yet you still have the nerve to pull me apart, to critisise, to tell me what I should do, you really haven't a clue, if only you knew, if only you knew, if only you knew, I have died for you, I always die for you and I would rise for you but who knows? Nobody knows, nobody knows, nobody knows and no rose.

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 73 Saturday 26th November 2011

There is really very little to say today, MorrisseysWorld remains closed, The Mozziah has not tweeted for a number of days, The Bucktoothedboy has once again closed his Twitterdilly account, and battened up the back of his wardrobe, somebody has posted on So Low that the ip address of MW is the same as So Low, which isn't actually true, followers in Twitterdilly have been discussing the ip thingy, @Mancladmozfan says The Mozziah never was behind MW or on twotter and oh, yes, there were no roses thrown at yesterday's concert in Vegas. No surprises there. The only person who would have been likely to have thrown one, was a twotter user called @Dutchirregulars, a dutchman who decided to take 'Cheese' instead of a rose! Luckily, he/she didn't throw it! And so the tour moves on to the Shrine Auditorium in LA. The Youtube clips I've seen from last night's concert look as though it was yet another top night and somebody not only made it on to the stage during 'Speedway' but got quite an embrace from The Mozziah. The fact that it looked to be rather a good looking stage invader I'm sure had nothing to do with it! I still think the left leg approach is far less 'obvious'. Still no 'sign' from The Mozziah and no sign of 'Trouble Loves Me' but I'm pleased to say that back at the Twitterdilly ranch, another follower has been introduced to the charms of 'Trouble'. They responded to hearing this beautiful piece of poetry for the first time, with this entry on my blog:

Aurora said...

Why Trouble Loves Me works:

Firstly, the personification of Trouble gives tremendous pathos. That an abstract concept gives him the attention that an unrequited love does not twists the knife for a second time.

The melody to "Just when everything seems like everything's evened out" is just sublime. The verses are mostly comprised of steps in the melody, but in contrast, the repetitive skips of a fourth in "Just when it seems like ev - ry - thing's even - ed out" adds a dimension that makes the song much much more gorgeous. (Skips of fourths are my favorite, can be painfully beautiful and catchy as hell depending on the kind of song you're writing.)

The song's bridge fully shifts the attention away from Trouble to being luckless in love.

Power of threes at work in "at your age/Go to Soho/Go to waste/in the wrong arms", working its magic. Whether you want to interpret it as self-ridicule or the words of others, real or imagined, the first two sarcastically quip on the unconventionality of his personal life, while the third is doubly sarcastic, flipping the other two on their head. Can be read as his retort or the same voice as the other three...the latter makes it much more bitter.

In this latter half of the song he also seems to comment on the controversy he's courted. He replaces that regal "Just when it seems like..." pre-hook (not sure if that would even be the correct term) with a couplet that's the song's shining glory of imagery: "Show me a barrel and I'll scrape it/Faced with the music, as always I'll face it..."

The entire song's built mainly on abstraction, with the bits about being embraced and Soho being the only image. The song's also built on wallowing in self-pity and misfortune. But at the song's climax he smacks you in the face with a shock of humility, admitting that he is at least partly to blame for his own sorrow, and then revealing that he is, if anything, brutally honest with himself (the 'face the music' line).

The next lines that form the anti-climax extrapolate on this twist in the mode of his self-reflection: the lines on being a dour Englishman can be read as either looking at his identity square in the face or mocking it, before he returns again to unrequited love ("midnight, I can't get you out of my head"), imitating the pattern of obsessive thought.

The repeated couplet that leads out the song is an odd way to end it, but hell I'll be honest, I'm not so talented a writer at this stage that I could say how he could have wrapped it up any differently than to repeat the "still running around" line from the bridge, varying it with the 'disenchanted taste" line.

Musically, the piano is reminiscent of "Let It Be" while the arrangement is reminiscent of late era Beatles in general.

Really really beautiful song and I'm sad I didn't know this song existed before today.

Friday, 25 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 72 Friday 25th November 2011

London, present day.
A man, in his late 60's picks up his telephone and calls a number. It is answered by a man in his early 30's.
30's MAN: Hello, Tim Jo, er, I mean, er, can I help?
60's MAN: (Speaking in his usual old public school voice) Oh yes, how do you do, I mean, er (adopts rougher but still poshish voice) alright, er, mate? I'm calling about the advertisement you have placed in the music journal, the New Musical Express, is the merchandise still available?
30's: Yeah, you interested?
60's: Yes, yes I am, it's not for me you understand, it's for a, er, friend.
30's: It doesn't matter to me mate, I've kicked the habit, I don't need it anymore. I want a ton for the lot, cash. You got the money?
60's: Yes, a ton, I presume you mean one hundred pounds? I need it this afternoon though, I need a fi, I mean my, er, friend needs the goods, he needs them now.
30's: Okay, okay, keep your wig on, can you meet in the loos at Waterloo station at 2?
60's: Yes, yes, I know them well. How will I recognise you and how did you know about the wig?
30's: It's just a saying mate, I'll wear a red rose.
60's: Jolly good, I'll wear a white one.

Later that day, the public toilets, Waterloo Station.
The two men see each other's roses and enter separate cubicles next to each other. Thirties man is carrying a large bag.
60's: You got the gear?
30's: Yeah, you got the cash?
60's: Yes, yes I have but I need a little taster first, pass me a sample.

Thirties man removes a portable CD player from his bag along with a bootleg version of The Butterfly Collector cd by The Smiths. He passes them through a hole in the cubicles. Sixties man puts the headphones on and randomly selects track 8.
60's: What's this shit? This is poor quality, are you trying to fuck me over?
30's: No, listen it's just a poor recording, try this, this is pure 100%.
Thirties man passes through the CD of Meat is Murder.
60's: Ah yes, I've heard about this, I'm told this is pukka stuff.
Sixties man places the CD into the player and presses play. The sound of 'The Headmaster Ritual' instantly fills his head and he closes his eyes and sucks in the air.
60's: Fuck, yes.
Four minutes 52 seconds later.
60's: This is good shit man, have you got all the rest of the stuff you advertised?
30's: Yep, it's all here.
60's: I don't need Arsenal, I've got that, it's the one that got me hooked and now I need more, I need it all. Why are you selling this stuff, are you mad?
30's: Don't get me wrong, I love it, I love every last drop of it but well....
60's: Go on, what is it?
30's: Can I trust you, do you promise me as a friend and fellow user?
60's: Of course, I swear, I am a man who can be trusted. Unburden yourself child.
30's: All of those lies. I've written lies, twisted lies, well, they weren't lies, they weren't lies, they weren't lies.
60's: Were they lies?
30's: Yeah. *Punches himself* Shit, I crumble SO easily, they're going to make mince meat of me.
60's: Who?
30's: Never mind, but the top and bottom of it is, I have to get rid of the goods, I can't be found with them in my possession. I've already kept them longer than I should've, they've been hidden away in my bottom drawer at work and I've had secret hits when nobody is around but if McNic, I mean, if er, anyone were to find them I'd be in trouble, and believe me, trouble loves me. Why are you buying anyway, I wouldn't have had you down for this sort of stuff?
60's: I'll be honest, I knew nothing of this seedy world until recently when a case came before me, I mean, er, it was mentioned in passing that I should try it. I purchased 'Your Arsenal', purely for research purposes and it was poetry, pure poetry. Not since my fagging days at school, when the sixth formers read Wilde to me, have I known such pleasures, such rushes to the head. Every word is birdsong, every song a poem of tragedy, splendour and beauty.
30's: So why didn't you just go and buy the rest of the stuff from a high street dealer, why come through the small ads?
60's: I can't be seen to be indulging in public, I too have a story and a secret. Can I tell you? Can I trust you as my dealer and friend to say nothing?
30's: You can trust me, I like you and I assure you I'm not the sort of person who says they like somebody and then goes writing lies about them afterwards. I don't suppose you've got any spare tickets I could have, actually forget that, sorry, carry on.
60's: You see, I represent the scales of justice and I have a case coming soon where I must be impartial, but how can I when I'm living a lie? I'm hooked and I need more and more. I spend every second reading about him, watching internet clips of him and now I need to own everything he's ever made. I want to go and see him but I daren't. Or could I? Perhaps I could don a beard and......Hold on, did you say McNic *penny starts to drop* Did you say lies, twisted lies? Jonezy?
30's: Scales of justice? *penny drops* Tuggy?

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 71 Thursday 24th November 2011

Yesterday's readership numbers of my blog were at an all time low. It is two weeks today since MorrisseysWorld closed, it feels a lot longer, and with no sign of a sign from The Mozziah and with no roses rising to the stage, it would appear that people are losing faith. According to the gospels of Matthew & Luke, JC said that Simon Peter would deny him three times before the cock crows. According to either MorrisseysWorld or Twitterdilly, I cannot remember which, The Mozziah once said something like, 'Everyone will eventually leave, they always do'. Of the twenty two followers I named yesterday, @CajunCauliflowr attended two concerts in Texas but didn't throw a rose, @Mancladmozfan also attended a couple and didn't throw a rose and last night @Its_Only_me_K not only didn't throw a rose, but informed the Twitterdilly world that she didn't have time to buy one. Fair comment, the rose idea was only muted yesterday teatime, at about 5.30, nobody had ever mentioned it before that. (The Brits do sarcasm so much better than anybody else). Denied three times. Cajun apologized for letting everybody down, but she was comforted and told it wasn't her fault. Manc explained that he just didn't believe anymore and should have listened to the person who from day one told him it was all a hoax. K didn't have time to buy a rose. Denied three times. I make no judgement on these three people/twitter folk, nobody should ever do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable and the fact that after seven concerts, not a single rose has made it on stage is itself true art. 150,000 hits on a website asking for roses to be thrown and not a single one is. Long may the non event continue. Roses in Vegas tomorrow night? Not a hope.
  As readership is dropping off, I won't make today's offering too long winded for the few who are still reading. My delving into Wilde and The Mozziah's worlds have opened my eyes to things I didn't see before, including some of the meanings behind certain songs. I have to say, I don't tend to over analyse song meanings, I just enjoy them for what they are, but having read The Mozziah referring to Wilde as 'Fat' and Wilde living in Battersea, the penny dropped as to the meaning of 'You're The One For Me Fatty'. Having also discovered that Wilde ran off to Paris after his release from prison, I can safely(?) assume that 'Throwing My Arms Around Paris' is sung from Wilde's perspective.
  Anyway, enough for today, I feel my blog entries may need to return to the humour and bonkersnessnes that made them readable and I should stop reporting on non rose throwing and the actions of Oscar Wilde. I so love the idea of the 'Secret Rose Society' but the reality is, if the roses aren't thrown by the twenty two people in Twitterdilly, there really isn't anybody else out there who IS going to throw one. Why would there be? If they knew about MorrisseysWorld and believed it to be true, then they would surely be joining us in Twitterdilly? The ones who really KNOW & really BELIEVE, are the nine who sat in an internet Chat room on Friday 4th November and had the Green Carnation story told to them by The Mozziah himself. A few days after that 'chat', the chat room and website disappeared, but the nine followers remain, and it is now up to them to see the story through. I do believe a sign will come, but the sign will be so subtle that it will go unnoticed by the majority and will be explained away as a coincidence, I believe the sign will be a song, and that song, which will suddenly appear in a pretty much unchanged set list will be? You know the answer, 'Trouble Loves Me'.

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 70 Wednesday 23rd November 2011

Since deciding to become a writer, yesterday, ideas are absolutely thumping in my head, which I really wish they wouldn't, as I'm not 'officially' a writer until January. One of my ideas is to write a play based around the faceless, genderless, ageless world of Twitterdilly. My idea is to have the actors all either wearing masks or brown paper bags over their heads. They will be wearing either cardboard boxes or attire that doesn't give away their gender. Disguising nationality will be more difficult but not impossible. Nothing is known of looks, gender, age, status, physique, race, qualification, disability, political swing, type of car, colour of shoes or any other thing that in everyday 'real' life, influences us all, whether we mean it to or not. It would also be challenging to try and make sure that sentences are limited to no more than 140 bytes at a time, but this may stop the flow of conversation. The 140 byte restriction in 'real' Twitterdilly, means that one (you can tell that one has suddenly been influenced by Victorian Wilde) has to forever go back and 'edit' tweets before they can be sent. In my case, this often means sacrificing gaps after commas to save on a byte but I refuse to give in to 'text speak' m8. Talking of Wilde, I feel I have perhaps cheated by 'watching' rather than 'reading' 'The Importance Of Being Earnest' but I needed a quick fix and reading takes so long, as you already know, in fact you are already deciding whether to try and jump pieces of this blog to get to the crux of it, if indeed there is a crux. The annoying thing is, you could've skipped the last two or three meaningless sentences but don't skip the next ones, they may be worth reading. I now have to decide whether to read Dorian Gray or simply 'listen' to it? Part of me feels very lucky to have discovered Wilde this 'late' in life, although as mentioned before in my blog, I feel annoyed that his name was never even mentioned during my thirteen and a half years of state education. Who exactly decides what should or shouldn't be taught in our schools? Clueless Government after clueless Government, failed education secretary after failed education secretary, bored teacher after bored teacher, all of them blissfully unaware of individual's needs or talents. Educate en mass, all for one and one for all. For me it was wasted hour upon wasted hour of woodwork and metal work, to somebody who was never going to have the ability to ever do anything more practical than to put out the bins. From memory, my English literature lessons consisted of Shakespeare's MacBeth and nothing else. There may have been something else but and I turned off after 'When the battle's lost and won', Act 1, Scene 1, Line 4. I have no idea if those three witches ever did meet again or if the hurlyburly was ever 'done'. And don't send your answers in on a postcard because Frankly Mr Shankly, I don't give a damn.
  So back to the reason I am here and the reason the regular readers of this humble offering are here, The Mozziah, and more to the point, the discovery of MorrisseysWorld and subsequently, the 'Secret Rose Society'. Have any roses yet made the stage? Well the only Youtube clips I've seen from the concert in Phoenix on Sunday night were taken from so far away, it could've been Jimmy Krankie on stage singing 'I Know It's Over', except I didn't detect a Scottish accent and the guy in the black shirt swaying around looked to have a 'poorly' finger, so it must've been The Mozziah. The Youtube films also show not only the backs of hundreds of heads, but also that a number of the owner's of these heads are holding up their mobile phones, sorry 'Cell' phones (Americans), and are filming, so where are THEIR Youtube offerings? Why film it and not share it? So, roses? We have to presume not. Footage has begun to arrive on Youtube of yesterday's concert in Escondido and although there was a Shelagh Delaney backdrop replacing Sacha Distel, there would appear to be no roses. News from @Mancladmozfan in Twitterdilly confirms my thoughts that he TOOK his rose to Dallas but instead of throwing it to the stage, took it on the lash with him and then back to the hotel room for a night cap. He has tweeted again this morning to say, 'Just going back to hotel slightly worse for drink, the rose looks a dead duck. Hermosa beach rocks.' Now, this message could of course be interpreted in different ways. Is it HIS rose that is a 'dead duck' or the whole 'Secret Rose Society'? If it's his rose that is dead, what has he done to it? Was it a murder most foul or did it drown in the copious amounts of alcohol no doubt dribbling down his chin and onto the poor wilted rose on the lapel of his jean jacket? I sent MancLad a tweet to ask and he replied that he believed the 'Whole lot' was dead. Could it possibly be the end before it even began? No, of course not, it is just that Manc is suffering from the embarrassment that overcame CajunCauli. The problem seems to be, that it is just not the DONE thing to wear a flower of any kind in a button hole. We are not in Victorian times, so unlike Wilde's 'Green Carnation' Club, to whom wearing a button hole on the lapel of their jacket was common place, a rose attached to a Meat is Murder T Shirt just doesn't quite work in the same way. Manc said he awaits Oakland with 'baited breath' but if he isn't going to be throwing a rose, who is? MorrisseysWorld's prediction that by Oakland on December 1st, the stage would be awash with roses, is starting to look a tad optimistic. I think we can safely presume the only thing washing the stage that night will be One Eyed Rick, the local janitor, but you never know. The Mozziah must be loving it, and my desire early in this blog that no roses be thrown, could yet come true. So who in Twitterdilly is still on board and why are NO roses being thrown at all? Remember, before MorrisseysWorld closed, it had received over 150,000 hits, so we know the message is out there, but if even the likes of disciple Manc don't believe, how can anybody else be expected to? There are currently twenty two Twitterdilly believers/followers with their profile picture showing a rose. *Starts to sing, for no apparent reason* 'We're on our way, we are Ron's twenty two, hear the roar, of the red, white and blue, this time, more than any other time, this time, we're going to find a way, find a way to get away, this time, getting it all together, we'll get it right.' Has this MONSTER hit from 1982 got anything to do with the story? Is the red, white and blue that Keegan, Brooking and little Mick Mills sing of, anything to do with the roses? Mmmm. For the record, the twenty two genderless, ageless, faceless rose followers are:
1. @stillicling - the 24 hour a day tweeter. Could be female, could be American & could be going to Chicago concert.
2. @RosyMires - Could be female, could be of Irish/Mancunian Catholic stock, could be living in Brighton.
3. @EcubyanSoapbox - Could be a poetry writing male called Rutger Bullock.
4. @GirlOnBike1102 - Could be a German female living near Coventry with a boy who plays Under 11 football.
5. @Mancladmozfan - Could be a Man City supporter currently in the US losing the faith.
6. @Mmedestaelghost - Could be a Swedish female of whom I know no more.
7. @Lizzycat4 - Could be an English girl who loves Morrissey, her husband, travelling and gin.
8. @Hector_Lector - Could be a German who disappeared but has recently reappeared.
9. @Heathercat222 - Could be a female from Indianapolis and could be going to the chicago concert.
10. @TheRatsBack - Could be a male from England who writes a daily blog about The Mozziah.
11. @loughtonlil - Could be a male from England with the initials JG.
12. @AIRRAID25 - Could be a female, could be vegetarian and could be having a mid life crisis.
13. @amor_y_locura - Could be an American citizen living in Australia, could be female and could be a 23 year old writer & musician.
14. @Alekaki_ - Could be a female book, animal and music lover.
15. @cathyplus5 - Could be a mother of 5 boys living in Ireland celebrating her birthday today.
16. @bucktoothedboy - Could be genderless, could have seen The Smiths in 1985 and could live mostly in London.
17. @girlwithout - Could be female.
18. @its_Only_Me_K - Could be a female called Krystal, could live in Los Angeles and could be going to tonight's concert at the Henry Fonda Theater, in which case, she COULD THROW A ROSE!
19. @jo_beth_s - Could be female, could live in London and really, really doesn't know if all this is real or not but doesn't want to pull away just in case.
20. @CajunCauliflowr - Could be a female, could have attended two of the concerts in Texas and could have thrown a rose, but didn't ; ) and she(?) knows I'm pulling her(?) leg.
21. @caterita2008 - Could be female, could be a mum & wife and could live in Rome.
22. @i2177 - Could be anybody!
 So what will Henry Fonda bring and will the ghost of Ron Greenwood be there with his twenty two in spirit? Is the secret anonymous message that has been left for MancLad in So-Low really from The Mozziah, saying to meet him at St Francis the day after the Oakland concert? And if it is, does he mean the St Francis Hotel as Manc has interpreted it, or the St Francis Catholic church? Will there ever be a 'sign' from The Mozziah? Will MorrisseysWorld EVER re-open or was it only ever put there to create the buzz? Was it all real or just one big hoax that Manc now seems to believe? Is there now a secret society within the secret society that 'KNOWS', but doesn't wear a rose to show it? Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 69 Tuesday 22nd November 2011

I have barely slept. Following yesterday's sad announcement that Shelagh Delaney had passed away, I spent time reading about her life and then for some reason, which I cannot really explain, I felt compelled to watch......No, not 'A Taste of Honey', but Oscar Wilde's 'The Importance Of Being Earnest'. I have been reading a fair amount about Wilde recently, all because of The Mozziah's devotion to him. For me to not know about Wilde is the equivalent of JC's disciples not knowing about God. I can hardly follow The Mozziah without understanding the word of Wilde. Shelagh Delaney was The Mozziah's other huge influence, so her role, in the biblical sense, is that of the Virgin Mary, she could be said to be The Mozziah's 'unofficial' Mother, especially having written 'A Taste Of Honey' the year before The Mozziah was born. It all makes perfect sense really that the 'Real and Proper Poet Laureate' is the surrogate son of Oscar Wilde and Shelagh Delaney. Having now, at last, witnessed the work of Wilde, I suddenly get it. It may sound melodramatic to say that last night opened my eyes, but actions speak louder than words (or do they? in many ways I hope not!) and today I have found somebody to replace me at work, and from January, I shall officially be 'A Writer', all be it an unemployed/unpublished/unwritten writer, but none the less, a writer. I will turn forty six next month, am I too late? I hope not. Delaney wrote her defining masterpiece at the age of eighteen, Wilde wrote his at forty, The Mozziah, at fifty two, continues to write and his 'Masterpiece' is yet to be defined, it may not even have yet been written, although some will say it is 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out', although I of course believe it is 'Trouble Loves Me'. It could of course turn out to be his as yet unpublished autobiography. I personally can't wait to read his diaries, although as I don't believe he will let these be published until after his death, I will have to wait quite a while, hopefully. Shelagh Delaney's death, The Importance of Being Earnest and writing this blog about MY true inspiration, The Mozziah, have all converged to help me take the plunge and do what I wish I'd done years ago, write. Shelagh Delaney's death has left a vacancy. Am I able to write something as brilliant as 'A Taste Of Honey'? Very unlikely. Will I succeed as a writer in any way, shape or form? Who knows? but if I don't attempt it, I have failed anyway. Do I believe I have it in me? Yes, I have to believe that. Do I have a clue what I am going to write about? Nope, but I do genuinely believe that both 'Fate' and 'Lady Luck' will each take one of my hands and guide me. I just have to hope that fate doesn't moon back at me and Lady Luck's smile is not ridden with rotting teeth. I have always thought that if I did ever take up writing seriously, it would be in the form of writing comedy. I once attempted to write a sitcom with somebody, but we had differing ideas and it never took off. Having watched 'Earnest', the version with Wendy Hiller incidentally, I now believe I want to write a play. When I was sixteen and taking Drama as an 'O' level, we had to take a section of a play and act it out. I informed my drama teacher I didn't want to adapt a play, I wanted to write my own. He told me not to be stupid and that nobody had ever done that before. I ignored him, wrote it, directed it and took a part in it. I convinced four of my fellow students to appear in it and we all passed with flying colours. For anybody remotely interested, it was a play about a dreaming schoolboy who had visions of being a Mad Scientist and a Dandy Gentleman among other things, and had NOTHING whatsoever to do with 'Billy Liar', 'Frankenstein' or 'Carry On Don't Lose Your Head'. Anyway, enough about me, all this has got me wondering what would The Mozziah have done if he'd been living in the age of Oscar Wilde? Would he have followed in his every footstep? Would he have worshipped from afar or would he have still managed to release his own genius to be an artiste in his own right? Of course, there is no answer, for it is a theoretical question. The Mozziah has a 'Super Fan' called Julia Riley who goes to watch virtually every one of The Mozziah's concerts. This is a fantastic thing to be able to do and something that The Mozziah may well have done with Wilde. We Mozziah fans are so lucky that our God is alive. For believers in religious Gods, a trip to a local church, synagogue or mosque are the closest they can get to their make believe messiah's, but ours is is real. For The Mozziah, following HIS inspiration, Wilde, isn't an option. If it had been, The Mozziah would've possibly been like Riley, or if circumstances hadn't allowed him to follow Wilde, he would've had to make do with watching where he could and taking inspiration to create, he would of course, have donned a green carnation, and we must of course don a red or white rose, it is the very least we can do as a thank you.
  Tonight's concert is in Escondido in California. I would be very surprised if 'Sheila Take A Bow' is not played in tribute, after all it IS 'for Shelagh'. Here is a copy of The Mozziah's tribute, as posted on the True-to-You website: SHELAGH DELANEY
A genuine poet has passed through the world. Shelagh Delaney exercised a wide influence with the shock of plain language, and shafts of satiric wit, into a severe and donnish 1950s world where working-class people had thus far been assumed to be simplistic, flag-waving cannon-fodder. Her writing was a magnificent confession of life as it was commonly lived in her hometown of Salford, with all of its carefully preserved monotony. She was attacked for immorality, which, then as now, is proof that you have hit on something.
'A Taste of Honey' was a sentiment that had not been expressed before its time - far more real than life.
It was the Salford of sagging roofs, rag and bone men, walk-up flats, derelict sites, rear-entrance buses, and life in tight circumstances.
Shelagh Delaney did not become fat with success, or become a celebrity, because she was of richer intellect.
She has always been a part of my life as a perfect example of how to get up and get out and do it. If you worry about respect you don't get it. Shelagh Delaney had it and didn't seem to notice it.
Los Angeles, November 2011. SHELAGH DELANEY
A genuine poet has passed through the world. Shelagh Delaney exercised a wide influence with the shock of plain language, and shafts of satiric wit, into a severe and donnish 1950s world where working-class people had thus far been assumed to be simplistic, flag-waving cannon-fodder. Her writing was a magnificent confession of life as it was commonly lived in her hometown of Salford, with all of its carefully preserved monotony. She was attacked for immorality, which, then as now, is proof that you have hit on something.
'A Taste of Honey' was a sentiment that had not been expressed before its time - far more real than life.
It was the Salford of sagging roofs, rag and bone men, walk-up flats, derelict sites, rear-entrance buses, and life in tight circumstances.
Shelagh Delaney did not become fat with success, or become a celebrity, because she was of richer intellect.
She has always been a part of my life as a perfect example of how to get up and get out and do it. If you worry about respect you don't get it. Shelagh Delaney had it and didn't seem to notice it.
Los Angeles, November 2011.

Monday, 21 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 68 Monday 21st November 2011

I cannot attempt to write anything for today's blog following the announcement that writer Shelagh Delaney has died. She was such a big influence on The Mozziah that he will be deeply upset. The Smiths's song 'Reel Around The Fountain' took the line's 'I dreamt about you last night and I fell out of bed twice' and 'You're the bee's knees but so am I'  from the film version of Delaney's 'A Taste of Honey', a brilliant film starring the mesmerising Rita Tushingham. Instead of a blog, here is a copy of the press release:

Writer Shelagh Delaney dies at 71
LONDON (AP) — Playwright Shelagh Delaney, best known for her 1958 play "A Taste of Honey," has died of cancer, her agent said Monday.
Delaney died Sunday night at her daughter's home in eastern England, said agent Jane Villiers. Delaney was a few days short of her 72nd birthday.
The writer was just 19 when "A Taste of Honey" premiered. The downbeat tale of a young woman's pregnancy following a one-night stand with a black sailor, and her supportive relationship with a gay artist, verged on scandalous at the time, but the play had successful runs in London and New York.
The play, and its subsequent film adaptation, are generally considered to be part of Britain's "kitchen sink realism" movement of the late 1950s and 1960s, which portrayed the gritty reality of working-class life and also included works such as John Osborne's "Look Back in Anger" and Alan Sillitoe's "Saturday Night and Sunday Morning."
Delaney's immediate inspiration was her dislike of Terence Rattigan's play, "Variations on a Theme." Believing she could do better, she wrote "A Taste of Honey" in two weeks, reworking material from a novel she was writing.
Delaney and the film's director, Tony Richardson, shared BAFTA and Writer's Guild awards for best screenplay for the 1961 film adaptation, which starred Rita Tushingham.
She rebelled against a theater which she saw as portraying "safe, sheltered, cultured lives in charming surroundings, not life as the majority of ordinary people know it."
"No one in my play despairs," Delaney added. "Like the majority of people they take in their stride whatever happens to them and remain cheerful."
Her second play, "The Lion in Love," about a difficult marriage between a frustrated man and an aggressive woman, did not enjoy the same success when it opened in 1960. She didn't write for the theater again until 1979, when she revised her BBC-TV series "The House that Jack Built."
In between, she wrote screenplays: "The White Bus," 1966; "Charlie Bubbles," 1968, for which she won a second Writer's Guild Award; and "The Raging Moon," 1970.
She also wrote the screenplay for the 1985 film "Dance with a Stranger," based on the story of Ruth Ellis, the last woman to be executed for a crime in Britain. She also wrote a memoir, "Sweetly Sings the Donkey," in 1963.
Delaney's early work was rooted in her home town of Salford, an industrial suburb of Manchester.
To live in Salford, she said in a 1960 film by Ken Russell, was to be restless; she compared herself to a tethered horse, eager to be cut free. In Salford, she also found a vitality which infused her writing.
"The language is alive, it's virile, it lives and it breathes and you know exactly where it's coming from. Right out of the earth," she said.
"Down by the river it's even romantic, if you can stand the smell," she added.
"A Taste of Honey" enjoyed a musical reincarnation in the work of the prominent Manchester band The Smiths. The band's songwriter, Morrissey, lifted many lines from Delaney's play, including: "'I dreamt about you last night and I fell out of bed twice."
The face of the young playwright features on the cover of The Smiths' 1987 album, "Louder than Bombs."
Delaney is survived by her daughter, Charlotte Delaney, and grandchildren Max, Gable and Rosa Delaney. Funeral arrangements were not immediately announced.

Sunday, 20 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 67 Sunday 20th November 2011

How can one follow one's Mozziah when no news comes forth of what he is up to? As I write this, it is 3.30pm in Britain, which therefore means it is 8.30am in Santa Fe, New Mexico, so understandably, anybody who went to the concert yesterday, went straight home to bed, not giving two thoughts to post any footage onto Youtube. Even So-Low has no news of the set list, let alone if any roses made the stage or  any signs given. I think The Mozziah should start his OWN website, giving instant news about set lists etc. He could call this website something like, er, MorrissseysWorld. He could have a moderator to stop people posting vile and hateful messages, but this moderator would need to be somebody WHO DOESN'T GO ON THE TOURS AND SPEND ALL HIS TIME DRINKING AND SLEEPING. A moderator who doesn't set up a tour update website called AND THEN NOT BOTHER PUTTING ANYTHING ON IT AFTER DAY TWO OF THE TOUR BECAUSE HE IS TOO HUNG OVER, TIRED AND HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME. A moderator who doesn't spend his adult life claiming to be a socialist and then JUMPING UP & DOWN WITH DELIGHT WHEN MANCHESTER CITY, THE MOST CAPITALIST FOOTBALL CLUB IN THE WORLD, goes on to top the Premier league. The Mozziah needs to kick @Banjaxer off his tour bus and back to work. It is now clear from certain tweets, that Banjaxer is with The Mozziah, and that is probably the main reason MW shut down. I feel sorry for Banjaxer, if he really does believe in socialism, he should denounce his football team. This would be a very hard thing to do but if his principles are THAT strong, he should walk away, NOT celebrate it's success through capitalism. Of course he won't do that, people who believe in 'isms' rarely do. It's the same with Catholicism, it is said it is with you for life whether you like it or not. What a load of tosh, you just need to be strong enough to accept the bare face facts and walk away. This is the same for all religion. I was brought up as a good Church of England boy and sang in the Church choir. i wasn't allowed to question it or have a choice, my parents and my school and of course the church TOLD me it was right, so therefore it was right. I also grew up in an insular area where there were no foreigners, and my parents had lived through the Second World War, so from an early age I was informed that Germans were bad people. So there it was, before I was even allowed to think for myself, I was told God is great, Germans, and probably anybody else who wasn't the 'same' as me, were bad. I now know of course that god doesn't exist, there is far too much scientific evidence to prove this, and most of the Germans I've met are thoroughly decent people, except there was a friend of a friend called Christian, who's house I stayed at in Cologne, who was VERY odd. But I couldn't hate him for his 'oddness' and I'm pretty sure that he only took me and my mate to that cross dressers bar to try and prove he wasn't as square as he looked. The beer was good, and as transvestite bars go, a good evening was had by all. Anyway, Banjaxer's socialising (as opposed to socialism) with The Mozziah has meant we have NO MorrisseysWorld for the foreseeable future, so we've all had to peep into So-Low, which is proving itself to be totally inadequate as a site for reliable information, and the unmoderated input on it yesterday, showed it up for all it's failings. It is clear to see why The Mozziah hates it so much, when the moderator/owner doesn't moderate properly/at all. I'm all for freedom of speech but various eNME & G*ardian journalists have already proven how dangerous that can be when unmoderated/edited correctly. So for now, I have nothing to report, although I can say that Bucktoothed Boy is apparently going to be taking a rest from Twitterdilly, he will be missed. He has changed his profile from, 'I'm not the man Rat thinks I am' to 'I'm not the man Rat used to pretend to think I am'. I have therefore changed mine to simply say. 'Yes he is'.

Saturday, 19 November 2011

Following The Mozziah Day 66 Saturday 19th November 2011 remains closed and no 'signs' have yet been given. Very little video footage has emerged on Youtube from the Dallas concert and so it must be presumed that again, no roses made it to the stage. No word has been heard from @Mancladmozfan, so it must be presumed he too has adopted the Texan craze of 'Rose Walking', in which one takes one's rose out for a good night and then takes it home again, caring for it lovingly until it wilts and dies. With no concert last night, The Mozziah took very briefly to Twitterdilly yesterday but again didn't engage with any of his followers. Some of the followers are starting to doubt and question if MW really WAS The Mozziah, and are wondering if they have fallen for a big hoax. I of course KNOW it is all true, and am enjoying the fact that no signs have been given. It is hilarious that no roses have made the stage as MW had received over 150,000 hits before it closed so we KNOW lots of people are aware of the 'Secret Rose Society'. I honestly believe that people are just TOO embarrassed to admit they believe it to be true. God only knows how many people are secretly taking roses to the concerts, keeping them hidden in their pockets, waiting to see if anybody else throws, and then taking their rose home again when nothing happens. It's the secret, secret rose society, which is so secret you can't even show your rose, let alone let anybody see you wearing it and question why? I wonder if Wilde had this problem? no wonder he had to resort to paying his followers to wear the green carnations, they just were too embarrassed to do it. When The Mozziah did post on Twitterdilly, everybody immediately bombarded him with tweets but he was obviously in no mood to converse. He posted that '@AndrewCollins is a bad man, liar, cheat and generally quite smelly'. Andrew Collins is an English author who once wrote a book called 'Where Did It All Go Right?' I read half of it before giving it up as one of the blandest books ever. Anyway, I googled to see what Collins's connection was with The Mozziah and it transpires he opened the 'racist debate' on So-Low a few years ago. I would guess that during The Mozziah's spare hours on the road, he is doing some research for his Court Case. And talking of So-Low, it would appear that The Mozziah has been passing a bit of time by visiting the said website and having a pop at those who are having a pop. Of course I may be wrong and it may not be The Mozziah but there has been a lot of 'Wilde' quotes from somebody who is signing themselves as 'We'll Let You know'. Now I'm sure there may be SOME other fans who are able to quote Wilde, but not many, and whoever it was had a nice use of the English language and to my extreme delight, used the 'C' word, so whoever they are, they are alright by me.
  I have spent a whole day away from Twitterdilly and have made the most of a beautifully sunny, autumnal day, to retrace the last 'on land' footsteps of  Admiral Lord Nelson's before he set sail on HMS Victory, a voyage that led to his death, aged 47, at the Battle of Trafalgar. Yes, I've been in the historic city of Portsmouth, a rough and ready city, that if it were human, would be covered in tattoos, would wear hobnail boots and would spit in your face if you looked at it in the wrong way. Portsmouth, I salute you.
 So tonight, The Mozziah moves to Santa Fe, will we see roses? No chance. Will we see a 'sign'? No chance. Is The Mozziah behind MorrisseysWorld? Yep. Will MorrisseysWorld reappear soon? Probably not. Will it reappear EVER? Time alone will tell.

Friday, 18 November 2011

Following the Mozziah Day 65 Friday 18th November 2011

(The setting is The Mozziah's private cabin on the band's tour bus, driving through the night from Dallas, Texas to Santa Fe, New Mexico. Current day, 2am local time).

Dear Diary, Where do I start? Come to think of it, why do I start? What is the point of all this, really, what IS the point? How many times have I asked you that my dearest diary? And of course you don't really understand anyway do you? after all, you are just paper in a book, you're as manufactured as the rest of them. Why do I write 'Dear Diary' when we both know that it is to Oscar that I write every night? Dearest, earnest, Oscar. Darling, darling, desperately misunderstood Oscar. What wouldn't I have done to have been born in your time, to have sat at your feet, to have been your very own Cecily or even to have been in Paris at the end? In fact, it would be Paris that I choose, to have been the one to scoop you up and save you. Just me and you. There has never been anybody else like you, but I do try, you know I try don't you?
 So what of today Dear Oscar? To kill some time, I accompanied Jesse, Solomon and Boz to a local barber shop, the originally entitled 'Rob's Chop Shop', owned by a guy called Rob Villareal. Isn't that a Spanish football team? Boz thought it was a butcher's shop, and to be fair, he wasn't far wrong. Of course Mum is the only one who usually touches MY barnet, but old Rob did a fairly good job on Jesse, so I decided to let him loose on me. Not the quiff of course, just a little off the back and sides. Whilst cutting it, Rob mentioned he could make a killing on ebay by selling MY hair. Well I wasn't having that, will these b*stards stop at nothing. I got Jesse and Solomon to pick the hair up from the floor and stuff it in their pockets. It then occurred to me that they TOO could try and put it on ebay, so I took it off them and put it in my pockets instead. Old Villareal took offence to this and started spouting on about it being HIS property as soon as it hit the floor. It all got a bit embarrassing as he tried to grab it back and at one point we were all pulling on it, it reminded me of the scenes at my concerts when the 'Meatheads' fight over the shirt. Anyway, in the end Boz stuck one on Villareal's chin and we made a run for it. I emptied my pockets when we got back to the bus and burnt the hair. The smell was awful but what else could I do? This gave me a great idea, I gave Boz the lighter and told him to go back and 'torch' Rob's Chop Shop, it brings a whole new meaning to Hairdresser on Fire. Boz refused. I'm sure some of that hair in my pocket was his, all grey & silver with brown dye on them. I KNEW he coloured it.
 The whole barber's experience ruined my day, I considered cancelling the Dallas show in protest but Boz said there'd be consequences, that's rich coming from him after Chicago. I cancelled the 'freebie' Jimmy Kimmel show instead, no consequences there. It wasn't ACTUALLY me that cancelled it, but I'll let 'THEM' think I did, they'll only think it was me anyway. After the barbers, I took to my cabin for the rest of the day and logged on to the internet. I really wish I could leave it alone but what else is there to do with ALL these spare hours? I wish I hadn't bothered, the wifi is sporadic and what do I find on ebay? one of MY personal letters for sale, it reminded me why I don't write to anybody anymore. Nothing is safe, nothing. At least they are asking a fair price, six hundred and forty nine dollars, should I bid for it? it would save anybody else getting hold of it. No, I won't bother, there's nothing in the letter anyway apart from reference to those 12 bloody Adam Faith records I regrettably bought. I wonder if Mum's still got them? The most generous Christmas present I ever gave her. Parlophone. The So-Lowers are at it again, pulling MY set list to pieces. Did any of them actually go to the show? NO, of course not and yet once again they think they can tell me which of MY songs I should sing. And even if they did go, what right does it give them. Wankers. I really aught to persist with my own 'fansite' but it's such a waste of my true creative talents and they are all philistines anyway. How many of them had any idea about the Green Carnation society? None. How can they claim to be fans of mine when they haven't read a scrap of your material dear Oscar and know NOTHING about you? I should've known, I really should've known. It shouldn't have been me instigating the idea of a 'Secret Society' in the first place, one of THEM should've started it, but how could that EVER have happened when none of the bastards knew anything about Green Carnation? Anyway, again no roses this evening in Dallas, that's three concerts in a row now and not a single petal has reached the stage. I saw somebody with a whole bunch of red roses at San An but did they throw them? did they 'eckers like. And I read on twotter that one of my fans brought a rose to Austin and then took it home again. I despair, only me, it could ONLY happen to me. Oh well, a new song dear heart, may I? I've called it 'In the Brain', all your influence of course, it always is. Nobody will notice though, apart from perhaps Dr. Hoops, clever man.
'In the Brain'
Locked deep away, the sins all start to decay
Could I ever be me, for all the public to see?
It would be art to extreme, with me locked in a cage
Right now my cage is a stage, an open prison
Could I run? Should I run?
Guide me, show me, help me, TELL me.
Shut away, shut away, shut away, shut away, shut away, shut away, shut away.
Away, away, away, away, I'm shut away.

I'm now thinking perhaps I should re title it Shut Away. Of course 'the greatest events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the brain, and the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place also'. Impressed? Shall I continue dearest dearest Oscar? 'You, Mr.Gray, you yourself, with your rose-red youth and your rose-white boyhood, you have had passions that have made you afraid, thoughts that have filled you with terror, daydreams and sleeping dreams whose memory might stain your cheek with shame'.
  I must get some sleep now. Oh the concert? I was good, I will of course take the compliments with my usual self deprecation but I WAS good. I had to stop midway through FOTG, somebody was in trouble in the crowd, I really should detach myself but I'm TOO caring. No clips yet on Youtube, I'll look again in the morning. Finger is completely fine now but I'll keep the plaster on a bit longer, just in case. Where to now? Let me look at my tour schedule. Dallas to Santa Fe, 637 miles, approx. travel time 10 hours 44 minutes. Christ I hope Boz doesn't start that game again, HE may think it's funny playing 'Guess the Song' as he burps a tune, but I find it distasteful and vulgar. Did I really write modern poetry like 'Trouble Loves Me' just to have that oaf burp his way through it on a bus? Oh bollocks, they HAVE started playing it again. For fuck's sake what have I done to deserve this? Hold on, I know that one. *Shouts to Boz & the boys...EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY*

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Following the Mozziah Day 64 Thursday 17th November 2011

Roses devoid of thorns! That was The Mozziah's instructions wasn't it? Well it would appear that the Texans have taken the instruction two steps further and are throwing roses devoid of petals or indeed a f*cking stem! And what is The Mozziah doing with this whole collection of non existent roses? He's crushed them, before they crush him, and is bringing out a brand new range of perfumes, just in time for Christmas. The Mozziah's Perfume Range is to be called 'SELF'. Firstly we have 'DEPRECATION' for day time wear, a subtle stench that is intended to drive everyone away, but in fact, it's vulnerability brings people closer. Then we have 'LOATHING', especially for the evening, which has a repulsive kick to it and is designed to make you feel nauseous and full of hatred. Finally there is 'ISH' for that special time when one is under the bed sheets, alone! Of course 'ISH' should not be confused with Katie Price-of-Fame's new product 'FISH'. Who put the 'F' in ISH? Katie! As well as the perfume range, an announcement is imminent about a UK Tour for 2012. The Mozziah, as always, is hand picking every venue and is making sure there is a combination of iconic venues that he hasn't played before and some old favourites. The Mozziah is at war with himself, searching for a 'Title' for the tour, having been inspired by Motorhead's 'No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith'. The Mozziah can't decide where to finish the tour and is considering reopening Morrisseys World just to have a poll. The options are as follows; Number 1 is to finish the tour at Swindon Leisure Centre, the venue where The Mozziah collapsed on stage. This option would particularly fit in with The Mozziah's 'dark side' and he would call the tour, 'Back To Swindon - In Search of Death'. Number 2 is to finish the tour at Carisbrooke Castle on the Isle of Wight, the place where King Charles I was imprisoned. The thought being that because The Mozziah 'pulled out' (was he ever booked) of playing the iconic Isle of Wight Festival in 2005, this would give him the opportunity to not only play there, but also tie it in with Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee and call the tour 'Locking Up The Monarch - Again'. Option Number 3 is to finish the tour at Gt Yarmouth Pier, the scene of the now 'infamous' left leg touch. Playing up the pier very much fits in with The Mozziah's love of 'Carry On'/'Kiss Me Quick'/'Seaside Humour' and the tour would be called 'Going All The Way - Back Up The Pier'. Option 4 is to play at Britain's longest 'Place Name' which is Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and call the tour 'In Search of A Mouthful'. I personally would like to see a fourth option which would see the tour incorporate the decrepit, Victorian football ground at Portsmouth, called Fratton Park. The tour could be called, 'Who Put The Rat In Fratton'.
  So, what else has been happening? The John Lewis advert has now had over 1.5 million hits on Youtube but Slow Moving Millie, the singer on the advert, has been 'very' slowly moving up the itunes chart, and is currently sitting at number 33. In Twitterdilly, The Buckster has been bouncing in and out, posting Youtube videos for all the regular followers. He seems to be the 'Virtual Face' of The Mozziah, who has not been seen in Twitterdilly for a few days, one can only presume he is preoccupied, or just plain bored with the whole thing! Perhaps he is regretting ever starting his blog and the whole 'Secret Society' thing. One or two of the regular followers are losing the faith and are in need of a 'sign'. Personally, and perhaps rather selfishly, I would prefer NO signs and let the whole thing to continue to build slowly. The ONLY thing The Mozziah EVER promised was to appear, before Christmas, wearing a rose. If he does....Viral!
   I have been busy posting all the Youtube video footage I can find from Austin, and there were some truly fantastic performances, particularly of 'Everyday Is Like Sunday' and 'Still Ill'. Back on twotter, I have been blocked by the G*ardian's deputy editor Kaff Vinegar, (@KathViner), I can't imagine why. That makes it about six G*ardian journalists who have now blocked me, and I thought journalists were supposed to be thick skinned? I have also been blocked by @UncleSkinny, the regular So-Low user who won Mastermind with the specialist subject of The Mozziah. Why would he block me? I can only guess it is because I blamed him in my blog for giving the wrong information about Jesse being blocked at immigration. These 'Quiz Types' can be SO touchy when they get something wrong! I am also still blocked by Johnny Marr, understandably & deservedly, and I am also still blocked by @Msjulie73, who I presumed was Mozziah 'Super Fan' Julia Riley, but I am informed by other twot users that this isn't the case, so I've no idea why she's blocked me or who she is!
  And tonight, the tour moves to Dallas, a great place to start a conspiracy or in this case, a secret society. So can we expect roses? YES, YES we can. We know that @MancLadMozFan will be there with his rose and it would appear he is also on tour with the man I believe is the administrator of MW, @Banjaxer. All eyes will be scrutinising tomorrow morning's Youtube clips, The Mozziah's 'Secret Rose Society' starts here. Could this blog end up being the modern equivalent of Hichens 'The Green Carnation'? Will The Mozziah play Carisbrooke Castle and then be led down the road to Parkhurst Prison, the former home of all three of The Krays? Come to think of it, you could actually imagine The Mozziah getting himself banged up in Parkhurst, just to tick off another iconic venue to perform in! Jailhouse Rock, Mozziah style.
  COME ON DALLAS, SHOW US WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF. *Goes off singing* Dear Hero in Prison, with all the new crimes that you are perfecting, oh I can't help quoting you, cos everything......

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Following the Mozziah Day 63 Wednesday 16th November 2011

A new sensation is gripping America, 'Rose Walking'. It is a craze that has associations with 'Roseitis', the condition I mentioned yesterday, but the main difference is that with 'Rose Walking', you don't attempt to throw your rose, you simply take it out for an evening, perhaps to a bar or restaurant, and if the night's going well, you take it on to a club or concert. Following the 'Rose Free' night at San Antonio, the tour moved on to Austin and it has to be said, hopes weren't high for large volumes of roses being cast to the stage. However, regular twotter user @CajunCauliflowr, who had attended San An but was positioned in Row U and therefore unable to 'Rose Throw', was this time located in the third row. I tweeted her during the day to give her a little pep talk about her big moment. She was to become the first person to throw her rose to the stage. The person to start the 'Secret Society's' charge from the back of the wardrobe and into the light. She was nervous, understandably so, everybody would be wondering why is this small Texan girl throwing a rose, what can it mean? And so? She didn't throw it. The ridicule was too much to bear and today she reports back to twotter that the rose remained in her purse, but it had a cracking night out! Cajun, my little cauliflowrered friend, you were brave, you took your rose and we know you WANTED to throw it, and please don't feel bad that you didn't, nobody likes to feel uncomfortable and embarrassed, but if The Mozziah's wish is to be granted, somebody, somewhere HAS to take the initiative and THROW A ROSE. Next stop Dallas in two days time, and all eyes will be on @MancladMozfan who has already announced he is taking a rose, but is he just taking it out for a good old knees up, a couple of pints and then back to his, or will he THROW IT? And what's going on with @DickieFelton? He's attending the concerts, even getting hold of a sleeve of The Mozziah's shirt from last night(I wonder if it has a Paco Rabanne whiff to it?), but he isn't involved with either the twotter group or MorrisseysWorld. He has written a book about The Mozziah's fans and yet he doesn't seem to believe. And talking of the shirt, on Monday night The Mozziah encored in a 'White' frilly number, and yesterday a 'Red' frilly. The signs are there, the signs are there, the signs are. Dear God Please Help Us. Lettuce Pray.
  I am now going to continue working through Youtube clippings, and if anything further needs reporting I may return later. The set included; Black Cloud, The Kid's A Looker, Action and Satellite of Love. The concert looked great, but those phones, those phones. PUT THEM AWAY.

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Following the Mozziah Day 62 Tuesday 15th November 2011

Where have all the flowers gone? Long time passing. Where have all the flowers gone? Long time ago. Where have all the flowers gone? Girls have picked them every one. When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?
 San Antonio Set list: I Want the One I Can't Have / The First of the Gang To Die / You Have Killed Me / You're the One For Me, Fatty / Speedway / Ouija Board, Ouija Board / Scandinavia / Maladjusted / I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris / People are the Same Everywhere / Alma Matters / All the Lazy Dykes / I Know It's Over / Everyday is Like Sunday / One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell / Meat is Murder / Irish Blood, English Heart/ Encore: Still Ill.
What a start, what a set list. But was 'Trouble Loves Me' played? No. 'November Spawned A Monster' ? No. 'Mama Lays Softly On The Riverbed'? Nope. What about 'Action Is My Middle Name'? Nah. 'The Kid's A Looker'? Eh, naa. How about the new songs, 'Boredom Is A Plague' & 'Fire Walk With Me'? *whistles to himself whilst looking in the air* Well surely 'Meat Is Murder'? Yes. 'First Of The Gang' ? YES. 'Everyday Is Like Sunday'? YES YES YES. 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out'? Er, well, er, No. Well as Meatloaf said, nope, make that Meathead, three out of eleven ain't bad! I have spent the last hour watching Youtube clippings and The Mozziah was in great form last night in San Antonio, it's a shame the same can't be said of the crowd, at the beginning at least. The opening song, 'I Want The One I Can't Have' was met with lots of videoing but not a lot of moshing, and I thought us Brits were supposed to be the reserved ones. I love the bustle of the Mosh Pit at The Mozziah's concerts in England, to a newcomer it would probably feel a little threatening and violent but it isn't, it's just the pent up 'somethingness' that seems to explode. You will often see girls standing at the front before a concert starts and then quickly retreating to the rear as the pushing and shoving begins. The only time it does tend to get a little violent is when The Mozziah tosses his shirt into the audience and dozens of 'Meatheads' tug the shirt, trying to claim it for themselves. It's a pointless exercise as it ALWAYS gets ripped to shreds. The one time I got involved in shirt ripping shenanigans was at The Forum in London, where I was able to reason with my fellow meatheads and I made them all let go, and we then civilly tore it in to small pieces. I still have my piece of blue and white chequered shirt, it did have a lovely Paco Rabanne smell to it at the time, but as it's been in the loft for the last twelve years so it'll probably be more like Paco de Must.
  Back to San Antonio then, were there ANY signs from The Mozziah? Well there certainly weren't any roses if the Youtube clips are to be believed, not that any were REALLY expected. As I said on yesterday's blog, we knew that only a couple of the regular tweeters would be there and @DickieFelton was in Row Z and @CajunCauliflowr in Row U. Cajon did report on twotter that somebody was holding a bunch of red roses near the front, and if you watch the 'Everyday Is Like Sunday' video on Youtube, you can CLEARLY see it, but the rose holder seemed to be suffering from the equivalent of a darts players inability to throw a dart, called 'Dartitus', I'll call it 'Roseitis', THEY DIDN'T THROW THE BLOODY ROSES ON TO THE STAGE! I expect the twat took them home and gave them to his or hers granny. Why take them and NOT throw them? The very fact they had the roses MUST mean they are a follower of MW, perhaps they even read this blog. If they do, Please Please Please Let Me why you didn't throw? It transpires that 'Meat Is Murder ' wasn't the last song before the encore, it was 'Irish Blood, English Heart', and at the time of me writing this, there is NO Youtube footage of this song, so therefore it isn't known if The Mozziah paused before leaving the stage, but I doubt it. He KNEW San Antonio wasn't the place. However, there WAS a Bieber reference. According to Cajun Cauli, The Mozziah said, 'Are you feelin' Me'? which, I am led to believe and can HONESTLY say I've never heard, is a Bieber lyric from the song 'Kiss & Tell'. The set was finished with 'Still Ill' and there were quite a few Stage Invaders and some very gentle security types, but the stage remained Rose free. Oh and did I mention that @Stillicling's song 'I Know It's Over' was sung? And did I mention, 'You're The One For Me Ratty'?, I mean, 'Fatty'. Great set list.
  MW remains closed and so I feel it my 'duty' to continue in it's place, I'm being asked to! A Michigan date has been added for December 18th, The John Lewis ad has now had 924,000 hits and Johnny Marr has been defending it in the press and also 'busking' on stage with Nile Rodgers, why, why, why? The MW administrator, @Banjaxer has been blogging about his trip at, not to be confused with Morrissey-SoLow. No wonder MW is closed if the moderator is off on his hols! He's hinted there could be some UK dates on the way and he's also nicked my 'And finally Cyril' line, which he followed up by saying, 'Sometimes we get what we wish for, so let's all keep wishing - it could just happen. You know what I mean...' I believe 'Trouble Loves Me' is on it's way.....soon. He also posted a photo of a plectrum with 'Love A Kiss' written on it, in handwriting VERY similar to The Mozziah's. So here's the kiss x, but don't 'Kiss & Tell'. And so to Austin, although if any other snippets crop up today, I'll be back!

Monday, 14 November 2011

Following the Mozziah Day 61 Monday 14th November 2011

 Do the Americans do the football terrace chanting thing like we Brits? I don't suppose they do! The wait is over at LONG, LONG last. Tonight, the concerts start and finally, finally, after all these days, weeks, tweets and months, we will find out if The Mozziah is the true Mozziah. I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it, I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it.....AND I'M NOT EVEN GOING! I'M NOT EVEN ON THE SAME CONTINENT! Thank Mozziah for Youtube, as long as somebody films it. Why can't there be live streams of all the concerts? Will 'Trouble Loves Me' be on the set list? If it is, will it be dedicated to 'NOBODY', the dedicated secret society? Will the intro music and Big Screen include; Bobby Driscoll, Nico, Jobriath and Elvis? If so, will any of the Yankee Doodle Dandies know who they are? (they MAY recognise the Elvis fellow, unless of course The Mozziah was referring to Costello and not Presley, after all, he has been listening to a lot of Costello lately.) And what of the set list? The hints from The Mozziah have included; Meat Is Murder, Trouble Loves Me, First Of The Gang & Mama Lay Softly on The Riverbed. My 'visitation' showed that 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out', 'November Spawned A Monster' and 'Action Is My Middle Name' will also be on the list. It is also thought that something to do with Twin Peaks will be included, could it be a new song called 'Fire Walk With Me'? And is there really a song called 'Boredom Is A Plague'? Will we be hearing; 'Art-hounds', 'The Kid's A Looker' and 'Everyday Is Like Sunday'? And will the stage be covered in red and white roses at the end of 'Meat Is Murder', just before the encore? I'd say unlikely! Chicago would probably have had a few but if twotter is anything to go by, there won't be many at San Antonio who are aware of the secret society. @CajunCauliflowr will be there, as will @DickieFelton, but he's in Row Z! If there is just one rose, it is a start, and by the end of the tour, as the message spreads, so the roses will grow, not literally you understand. But there has to be a 'sign'. If there is no sign, and MorrisseysWorld doesn't reopen, the momentum will probably not grow. Some people wouldn't mind that, as it would keep the 'Secret Society', eh, secret, but without the interaction of MorrisseysWorld, it isn't the same. It already isn't the same. The excitement that I and others have experienced over the past two or three months has all centred around the wit of MorrisseysWorld, but without it, the central core of the community is gone. I'm sure there WILL be a sign in San Antonio and MW will reopen with a bang. The non believers will be dumbfounded, although no doubt some will still deny it's true. Will 'Spud' finally believe? And if there isn't a sign and MW doesn't reopen? Then I will stop my blog, come away from twotter and life will return to normality. It's been a great journey and new friends have been made through the back of the wardrobe in Twitterdilly. I may peak back occasionally. What will become of The Bucktoothed Boy, will he make anything of himself? Will @Banjaxer go back to being a good old fashioned Manc Hack? And what of the journey I've had through this blog? I've exchanged tweets and chat with The Mozziah, made 'virtual' friends with Rustle Brand, upset Johnny Marr, criticised Mike Joyce, who was unable to see the 'bigger picture' and buried a 'Smiths' reunion, argued with an unbelievable number of G*ardain hacks, praised Justice Tugendhat, who didn't let me down, took over Morrisseys Mum's twotter account, and then handed it back, deciphered lots of hidden messages, that I believe included the announcement of a new record deal on 'London' records, imagined Bruce Springsteen following MorrisseysWorld, pictured Andrew Lloyd Webber writing 'Morrissey The Musical', had The Mozziah explain the idea behind the 'Secret Rose Society' as a parallel to Wilde's 'Secret Carnation Society', bared all about wanting to be a writer and also leaping on The Mozziah up Gt Yarmouth Pier. So what now? Is this the end or merely the beginning? It's fair to say it's probably the end of the beginning and the beginning of the new beginning. If this is to be the end of the begining and the end of the end, it was fun, especially in the beginning, although not so much in the end, where it sort of petered out a bit and ended up with a rubbishy poem about Oxford. Or was it all a hoax? Has anybody noticed Kate Ryan aka Damien Dempsey on the So Low website? A dedicated follower of MorrisseysWorld who then 'turned' and slagged this site off as a hoax. Kate Ryan was mentioned on MorrisseysWorld but we all missed the relevance. For anybody interested, go to So Low & read Kate's comments. As I have said before, The Mozziah is all around us! Put your tin hats on, we're going viral!
 And talking of viral, the John Lewis Christmas advert has now had 625,000 hits in just two days. Slow Moving Millie's version of 'Please Please Please' has been released so I've just downloaded it. It is currently at number 35 in the UK itunes 'Hot 200'. Could The Mozziah finally get his name on a number 1 song?
 And before everything goes viral, how is the Twitterdilly chart looking since last week?
I have got rid of Rusty Rockets, Amanda Holden & Joey Barton as they aren't relevant to the story. I have brought in Cajun Cauliflowr who is going to be reporting from San Antonio.
1. Johnny Marr 76,567 UP 1,822 - Heal the World, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race.
2. MorrisseysWorld UNKNOWN - Closed. Last week was 3,793 so we'll assume the same.
3. Mike Joyce 2,642 UP 105 - Drum de dum dum dum.
4. Ratty 1517 DOWN 8 - Does he still do that rubbishy old blog?
5. Banjaxer 748 UP 6 - Gone to the USA.
6. Mum 445 UP 8 - Some great Youtube listings. Can she keep her anonymity after 'viral'?
7. Good Old Buck 49 UNCHANGED - A comfortable anonymous number.
8. Cajun Cauli 12 NEW

And for anybody reading this blog for the first time, yes, despite all the denials that you've just read on MorrisseysWorld, it's all true!

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Following the Mozziah Day 60 Sunday 13th November 2011

MorrisseysWorld remains closed and my request to have a link added, directing readers to this blog, has been ignored, and yet, I soldier on, although yesterday I had a day off from both twotter and blogging. But our all adoring Mozziah remains 'all around us', at least, when he isn't in either the Myopic Book Store, Reckless Records or The Globe pub in Chicago, well that's according to the internet, so it MUST be true. As I reported on Friday, The Mozziah posted the John Lewis ad on twotter, but he has been pretty quiet since then, although he did exchange a couple of tweets with fans on Friday night and posted a Youtube song of the Yellow Rose of Texas, which would suggest he's on the move, let's hope Boz Boorer is too! It does feel a little bit like the lull before the storm, with the tour beginning on Monday at San Antonio. My 'day off' yesterday was very enjoyable, I woke early and put my ipod shuffle on, first song of the day, 'Nothing Rhymed' by Gilbert O'Sullivan, a good start to the day. I was then about to embark on a two hour car journey to Oxford. I decided to choose three CDs to take on the journey. I picked 'Kill Uncle', 'Maladjusted' and 'Your Arsenal'. The beauty of travelling in a car on your own is that you can sing at the top of your voice to your heart's content. You get to really listen to songs that otherwise get 'ignored', but there is always the temptation to skip through the odd track. I made a real effort not to skip, but when you know certain songs are up next, it can be really hard. My journey to Oxford and back, gave me the opportunity to listen to each CD at least twice. You suddenly find yourself wanting certain songs to come sooner. Obviously for me, 'Trouble Loves Me' is the one I can't wait for so 'Ambitious Outsiders' tends to get skipped but the 'Maladjusted' title track always keeps me gripped. From 'Kill Uncle' it is 'Sing Your Life' that I can't wait for although today I was surprised that I really looked forward to 'King Leer'. Best of the three albums in my opinion, on a pound for pound, track for track basis, is 'Your Arsenal', and what is the 'Can't wait for song'? 'National Front Disco'. I have mentioned this song before in my blog, when I likened it to Lennon & McCartney's 'She's Leaving Home', but the press have turned this song into a song that we fans feel almost too embarrassed to mention, which isn't fair, because I love it. If EVER there was a case of 'Don't judge a book by the cover' then 'National Front Disco' is the song equivalent, 'Don't judge a song by it's title'. It is just such a brilliantly written story, which, if the 'David' in the story was a young Cameron, and the subject matter was him leaving to join the Tory party, it would have had Kaff Vinegar and the G*ardian hacks adopting it as their anthem. I saw 'National Front Disco' performed live by The Mozziah at London's 'Ally Pally' in 1992, a concert that also featured another of my favourites, 'November Spawned A Monster' and had Kirsty MacColl supporting, where she was joined by Shane McGowan for 'Fairy Tale Of New York', needless to say, it was a special night, with 'National Front Disco' being the lasting memory. The passion of the lyrics, the feedback from the guitars, I dearly hope The Mozziah brings this beautiful story back to the set list, there is NOTHING to be ashamed of.
  Talking of the G*ardian, yet another two of their so called journalists have come out to leap on Kaff's anti John Lewis ad bandwagon. This time it's Alex Clark & Robert Booth, how many people do that rag actually employ to write about the Mozziah? Is there a whole room dedicated to writing negative stories about him? The slants are of course led by McNich*las and Vinegar, but it's spreading. Clark & Booth have both accused The Mozziah of 'selling out' and Booth even added another 'slant' by suggesting to John Lewis's Director of Marketing Craig Inglis, that perhaps The Mozziah wasn't a suitable role model for John Lewis, but he was shot down in flames. Inglis said, 'I would say Morrissey is original and unique in his take on life and music and in many ways we are too.' Unlucky Booth, Clark, Ricketts, Vinegar, McNich*las, Jon'z'e, Uncle Tom Cobbly and all at The G*ardian, Mr Inglis, an intellectual man, just like Justice Tugendhat, doesn't want to hear your slants, he has a mind of his own, he can HEAR what is being sung.
 And so to Oxford. I parked my car and walked through the buzzing City centre, full of students on bikes and manicured shoppers, as I headed to watch a junior game of rugby. After the game I had a spare fifteen minutes, so I picked up a pen and paper to see if my writing would flow. I came up with this:
Middle England still lives and breathes
Amongst the fallen Oxford leaves
With flicky hair, the students dare
To think they're different, we've all been there

And Barbour jackets, Hunters, Tweed
The skins of ancient English breed
Cheer Archie's every ruck & maul
Stripped for the day from his cotton wool

The shopper's look so very content
To part with cash, it's their 'event'
No lotto tickets needed here
The English dream rings loud & clear

If politicians were ever to seriously debate immigration, Oxford stands as a role model. It is quintessentially English and yet there is a great array of colours and creeds blending in. I live in a horribly insular community that is crying out for more immigrants, other parts of Britain are unrecognizable as being British anymore due to having too many, Oxford looks refreshingly perfect, although it has to be said, I didn't visit the notorious 'Blackbird Leys Estate', once described as the 'Epicentre of Chav Scum'. I suppose the Teenage Dads & Slum Mums have to live somewhere!
   And so, an internet free day, that was finished off by watching X Factor, waiting for the John Lewis advert, which I'm pleased to say, didn't make me cry, thank Moz, and then a long soak in the bath listening to my ipod, which included the seven and a half minute version of 'Number 1 Song In Heaven' by Sparks.
  So to today, I am having another twotter free day, perhaps my life is turning back to 'normal', although I doubt it, I am expecting MorrisseysWorld to reopen with a bang on Monday night/Tuesday morning, and if there's a sign, this'll all go viral! I have just peeked through the back of the wardrobe into our Twitterdilly Narnia, and all is quiet. No visits from The Mozziah and just a fleeting Youtube posting of 'Stretch Out & Wait' from The Mozziah's 'son', The Buck Toothed Boy, who had changed his profile picture to Aslan the lion, but it would appear he's back to his old self. I shall now tiptoe back through the wardrobe to post this blog and a Youtube offering of 'National Front Disco' and then I'm off, no Oxford today, it's the 'other end' of the scale, the arm pit of the world, Southampton.

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