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Saturday, 5 November 2011

Following the Mozziah Day 52 Saturday 5th November 2011


The Mozziah has spoken. Yesterday The Mozziah arrived on twitter and invited followers to join him in the chat room of the MorrisseysWorld website. Those of us lucky enough to have been on twitter at the time, and let's face it, it's pretty much the 'usual suspects', dashed to the website chat room. It is a small room that only holds ten people at a time. 'Morrissey1959' sat in the room, awaiting his disciples. Nine of us crammed in and the others watched from the windows. The Mozziah held court. With nine sycophantic followers all baying for his attention, at first it was messy with everybody trying to talk at once. The Mozziah asked if we'd like to know about the set list for the tour and talked of some surprises. As we all heaped praise upon his greatness, he told us how he hated praise and asked everyone to refrain from praising his tweets. He encouraged us to mock and cajole, but never to praise. He asked us why we still believed he was Morrissey when both he and the website kept denying it? He mused that he could end up being sued by the artiste Steven Morrisssey. He hinted that London MIGHT have been the last time that he would remove his shirt and he then confirmed that 'Meat is Murder' would 'probably' be in the set list for the US concerts. No great revelations so far. When asked if he ran Morrisseys World, he said he had 'hired help' but he did overview everything and occasionally made changes to words here and there. I asked him if he still read my blog, to which he replied that he did occasionally, when he couldn't sleep! The praise couldn't be higher, who needs sheep? I informed him that I was working on a satirical piece entitled, 'At Home With The Tugendhat's', to which he responded that he loved a High Court based drama. He did add another bit, but I'll let that go. The Mozziah engaged in various banter with different people, without giving anything away and told disciple Ecu that his blog was superb, no such 'sleeping material' scorn for Ecu. The Mozziah then told the 'forgotten disciple' Sonya (forgotten by me, not The Mozziah) that he never responded to private messages on twitter. Twenty minutes in to the chat, after a bit more banter and plenty of self deprication, let's face it, he's not only the king of wit, but also by far the best self depricator there is, The Mozziah asked if we'd like to know why he wanted roses at the concerts? He built the tension and we all fell quiet. Just like in biblical days, the disciples sat at the feet of The Mozziah and hung off his every word. The only differences being that Old JC held court on a mountain in Jerusalem with his followers sat around him eating fish and bread, while Old Mozzer held court in a comfy hotel in Chicago, eating Nachos, while the followers were spread across the globe (US, UK & Sweden last night) sat in a tiny chat room box with the only fish in sight being the gold ones swimming beneath them. And so the story began. The Mozziah explained that there was once a poet who would have people come to his performances wearing 'Green Carnations' in their lapel. These people represented a 'Secret Society' and nobody knew what it meant. The poet was? Of course, Oscar Wilde. When Wilde was asked what the carnation signified he would reply 'Nothing whatever, but that is just what nobody will guess'. So there we have it, The Mozziah explained that he thought it would be fun to create a so called secret society that doesn't really exist. His friends and followers will wear roses, which MUST be red or white ONLY, and everybody will wonder what it represents and why they do it? The Mozziah will of course reply, when asked, 'Nothing whatever'. Genius. Sorry, I forgot, mock and cajole, Useless! The Ringleader of the Tormentors.

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