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Monday, 7 November 2011

Following the Mozziah Day 54 Monday 7th November 2011


 It would appear that The Mozziah was obviously struggling with his sleep yesterday, as he read my 'Trouble' blog and then actually retweeted it on twotter as his first movement of the day. I'm flattened Sire. The Mozziah then went on to retweet @Heathercat22's comment about dying happy if he does play 'Trouble Loves Me' live. The Mozziah then, after a few of the usual self deprecating tweets, went on to tweet two lots of 're-wording' of 'Trouble' and then finally he actually posted the song from Youtube. Now, I will eat my little rat shaped hat if 'Trouble' is not included on the set list in the US concerts. Could it be that my blog from Friday 21st October, where I described my 'visitation' from The Mozziah, was neither a case of me losing the plot or in fact a piece of satire? Could it be that my premonition WILL come true? For those who can't be bothered to look back at that blog, and to be honest, I don't blame you, I had a 'visitation' from The Mozziah at 4am on the 21st, and I woke up with five words pumping in my head. TROUBLE - ACTION - MONSTER - MURDER - LIGHT. I explained that I thought these would be the final five songs from the set list. It would now appear that our Twitterdilly anthem 'Trouble Loves Me' could well be on the set list. Also, The Mozziah hinted in the MorrisseysWorld chat room the other day that 'Meat is Murder' would be played. 'Action is My Middle Name' is the song I predict will be the next single and is bound to be played, so now it's just a case of seeing if 'There's A Light That Never Goes Out' and 'November Spawned A Monster' make the set list. If they DO, there could be more allegations that I am in fact Morrissey. Perhaps I am?
 Anyway, just in case I'm NOT The Mozziah, and, I'll be honest, my quiff days are long since gone, let me fill you in on the rest of his day on the internet yesterday, a particularly busy day, well what else is there to do in Chicago as you sit waiting for days on end for your tour to start? After his 'Trouble' tweets,  The Mozziah posed the question, 'How Can I Convince You I'm Not Morrissey?' To which there were various replies, including one from @Inkedotter (real name appears to be Kevin), which said, 'You have...Moz would never's too absence of human touch.' The Mozziah must be sitting in his hotel room smirking from ear to ear as these responses come in and the twotter followers tumble by the dozen. Who needs alcohol & drugs on tour to fill the voids when you have twitter? When the Mozziah posted the re-word lyrics to 'Trouble', 'On the Retweet rampage at MY age...go to so-low oh-oh, Go to waste on the internet-', he received a reply from @jaynebrabin (Probably a girl called Jayne, eh, Brabin, unless of course she's pretending to be Jayne Brabin, which given the nature of twitter is quite possible) saying, 'IMPOSTER!!!!!'. Why @Jaynebrabin chose that particular tweet to decide The Mozziah was an imposter, God only knows! A further tweet from The Mozziah later in the day of, 'I am not Morrissey' had more followers running for the exit door and a reply from @GLEBALLS2000 (Real name Dan Walker, I hate to think what 'Gle Balls' are) of, 'no shit Sherlock'. And what did The Mozziah do with this response from old Glee Balls? He retweeted it of course, like he does with all the others. Another response to that 'I am not Morrissey' tweet came from @emi1ystranger (Real name 'Dee', although I reckon she could be Emily Stranger), who tweeted, 'Your Russell Brand'. Incorrect use of 'Your' instead of 'You're', but ignoring that, Russell Brand? It isn't the first time that's been said, The Mozziah won't be happy. So then The Mozziaha rested from twitter, and later re-appeared in the MorrisseysWorld chat room. I hadn't been on line at the time so didn't make it in to the room, which only holds ten. In there with The Mozziah were many of the disciples including; Heather Cat, Sill I Cling, Loughton lil, Rosy Mires, Girl Without, plus other twitter regulars; Aur Mo and Alekaki. Regular chat roomer Guest 321 was also there as the Mozziah held court. I, along with many others, watched from the windows as The Mozziah talked about his time living in Kensington and playing football with his band in Hyde Park. I wonder if it was jumpers for goal posts, and what position would The Mozziah play? Too self deprecating to want the 'glory' of scoring goals, too in control to be a goalkeeper and have somebody score past him. Centre Half, of course, goes without saying, The Mozziah would play as an 'old Fashioned' centre half a la Bobby Moore. He would obviously insist on everybody wearing retro 60's or 70's shirts, he would be captain and he would also insist on using an old 'stitch' football with Dubbin to keep the water out. And now i come to think of it, of course, Boz would be in goal. Picture the scene every time Boz let's one in. In fact, hold that thought.  *Note to self, write a satirical piece entitled 'Football With The Mozziah'* Where was I? Oh yes, chat room. The Mozziah got in to a debate with Aur Mo about Hip Hop & Rap and said that it was 'speaking, not music', he also denounced the violence of rap lyrics and it's values as he pointed out that 'Feminism and Rap are diametrically opposed'. Jay Z & 50 Cent were singled out by The Mozziah  as not being musical and joked that Jay Z's 'song' 99 Problems was out at the same time as Irish Blood and both were played in Selfridges. The Mozziah also chatted about how his songs come together, he said, 'I think only about the vocal melody and I hope my musicians can paper over the cracks around the vocal melody in order to transform it into a coherent song'. He described pop music as 'dying and vulgar' and continued that it was 'Disposable, cheap and cheerful' and 'This week's big thing'. How true this all is. The pop charts of the 'Good old days' were all about climbing up the ladder in an attempt to reach the top. It would take a record weeks and weeks to finally get to number 1 as it reached it's audience in drips. Nowadays of course, songs are played on the radio, on the hour, every hour for months on end before being released and then if they don't go straight in at number 1, they fall out of the chart in a flash. It is 'Takeaway Pop' for the 'Throw Away Society'. *Pats self on back, I like that, I'll offer it to The Mozziah* The Mozziah finished in the Chat room by saying 'Pop writers are disappointingly vulgar' and that there was only one Rapper he liked. He then posted a youtube video of some dreadful 'Rap' song by........Justin Bieber. Fortunately, in the chat room, everything disappears after twenty seconds, never to be seen again, so Bieber was instantly forgotten, nothing new there. But also, The Mozziah's care free chat was also gone forever. No wonder he likes using this medium, no fear of some G*ardian or ENEMY hack changing your words or putting a slant on what you say. The only record of the whole chat is in a ham fisted satirical/auto biographical blog written by a rat who refers to the artiste as The Mozziah! I think we're safe.
 So with the chat out of the way, I thought that would be the last we would see of The Mozziah on t'internet, and that's probably what he planned too, but the problem with twitter is that it's SO annoyingly addictive, we all keep getting sucked back in. You can go off and watch tv or surf the net for other things but you just can't help but peek back in to twitter and if you're opinionated, like what I am and like what The Mozziah is, oh and that Mad Eyed Chambermaid Buck, you just can't help yourself, you can't just ignore the tweets, you just HAVE to have your say. So when Boy George tweeted to @MorrisseysWorld 'Hope the gigs went very well. Did you don a rose?' The Mozziah HAD to reply, not only to correct Boy that the gigs hadn't taken place yet, but also to silently chastise him for using the word 'gigs', which he doesn't like. (See Mozziah, I really do read your mind!) Mozziah replied, 'The concerts start this week, Boy. I expect to see you in the front row with your purity symbol-a white rose.' And of course, seeing as The Mozziah was now back on twotter, he held another Q&A session. Rosy Mires asked if he liked her new T shirt design which says, 'Je Suis un Moody Bugger', The Mozziah responded that he liked it so much, he would ensure it appears on the blog. I asked a couple of questions but was ignored, I feel he gets enough of me. Of course he's right. I really don't mean to jump in all the time, I just can't help myself, I'm like an excitable, fawning, sycophantic puppy. I must learn some self discipline. It is the main reason that I have never wanted to meet The Mozziah, I would let myself down. We are two opposites. He would be all self depricating and I would try to lick him! Various other questions were asked and answered in the impromptu session, with my favourite being, 'On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you today?' To which The Mozziah replied, 'Your scale is deeply flawed'. I have to admit, this self depricating lark is quite funny! @HeatherCat22 asked The Mozziah who he would like to be reincarnated as, to which he replied, 'I would like to be reincarnated as Morrissey. I would avoid the women's blouses in 1983 and invest my pennies in a drum machine instead.' Mary Hopkin also replied to a Mozziah tweet about Bieber. Does Mary follow the MorrisseysWorld phenomenon? Are the journalists all ready with their written copy, waiting with baited breath to see if The Mozziah really IS about to prove that he's behind MorrisseysWorld ? Will The Mozziah have Weetabix again tomorrow with semi-skimmed milk and English Breakfast Tea? Is Russell Brand his personal Chambermaid in Chicago, waiting on him hand and foot? Tick tock tick tock........
 On tomorrow's blog I hope to talk about Judas Jonze, no it isn't a 'Super Group' with Rob Halford of Judas Priest and Mike Edwards of Jesus Jones, it's the story of a snivelling little rat (no relation) who has decided to ignore his morals and try and save his smeared and lovely career. I will also try and remember to tell you about my chance meeting today with one of my 'Moz Mates'. Has he been following the phenomenon? Have I been exposed by one of the very few people who knew I leapt Up The Pier?
   And finally Esther, and finally Cyril, I forgot to produce the weekly chart yesterday, so for all you pop pickers who've been hanging on, here it is:

1. @RustyRockets 3,427,309 UP 43,642 - He doesn't actually DO or SAY anything! Why do they follow him?
2. @Amanda_Holden 745,273 UP 8,943 - When I owned this account, I peaked at 2,023 & I was MUCH wittier.
3. @Joey7Barton 655,563 UP 16,547 - More Followers than QPR supporters!
4. @Johnny_Marr  74,745 UP 1,301 - Not yet back in The Smiths despite Joey B's best efforts. Announced this week he is to write his two years time!
5. @TheStoneRoses 23,478 UP 776 - Interest is waning, I predict Heaton Park WON'T happen.
6. @MorrisseysWorld 3,793 DOWN 70 - lol. Tweet after tweet, leaver after leaver.
7. @MikeJoyceDrums 2,537 UP 101- Picked up a few of Joey's followers since they started talking.
8. @TheRatsBack 1,525 DOWN 5 - A few more old Amanda followers desert the sinking rat.
9. @Banjaxer 742 UP 2 - Has picked up a very good looking lady follower & a girl with a moustache! HONESTLY!
10. @MorrisseysMum 437 UP 8 - Tucked up indoors.
Bubbling under but back on the scene
@BuckToothedBoy 49 RE-ENTRY - If only the masses knew!

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