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Friday, 23 December 2011

Following the Mozziah Day 100 Friday 23rd December 2011

0335 Bloody dog, bloody Morrissey. This is deja vu. So there I was, just about to come away from all this, now what was it Buck used to call it? oh yeah, 'Following The Mayhem' or 'Following The Mozzarella', when what should happen yesterday? The Mozziah reappears, and not just reappears anywhere, ON MY BLOG! Here's what he posted under the comments section for my blog on Wednesday:

 Morrissey said...

Oh don't stop. Not now-

A merry Christmas to you.
21 December 2011 20:19 

Well how can I stop now? If ever I needed a boost, that was it, I didn't realise he even still read it. And not only did he appear on my blog, but he also made the following statement on the website:

Statement 21 December
Thank you for a fantastic US-Mexico tour. I am anchored, delighted, and pale with gratitude. The reception in Mexico was beyond words. No attempt to describe could do justice.
Most stirring of all:
2 MEXICO CITY, Mexico (second night)
3 MEXICO CITY, Mexico (first night)
4 PUEBLA, Mexico
5 GUADALAJARA, Mexico (first night)
9 GUADALAJARA, Mexico (second night)
BELLY FLOP: the Shrine, Los Angeles. When it goes wrong, it certainly goes wrong, and this venue is an open slum. Degradingly, the front of the hall is an orchestra pit so lowered that I found myself singing to a mass of hair. The people at the front - who possibly paid the most - were quite literally down a hole. It was embarrassing for me, and surely humiliating for them.
I stopped the show at the Royal Oak Theater in Michigan in consideration of the audience - who were being unashamedly assaulted by the in-house security. It is difficult to watch this happen, especially when our friends (such as Douglas) are being forcibly choked to death simply for being there. If such attacks happened at the opera or in a night-club, the victims would rightfully sue. Strangely, in-house security sense that they have freedom to manhandle patrons of 'rock' shows. I wonder why? You all know how to contact the Royal Oak Theater. The Head of Security at the Royal Oak was the one inflicting the most damage. He obviously thought he was still down at the abattoir - or wished he were.
We had been over-cautioned so continuously about dangers in Mexico, yet we met nothing at all but great support and warmth. The audiences were the most loving (and loud) that I have ever experienced. Everywhere we went people were very gracious, and eager to help. It was a dream tour, and we all felt that we were resolutely home, burdened only by the practicalities of wondering how soon we could return.
We all enjoyed the Conan O'Brien Show, especially after the sinking loss of the Jimmy Kimmel Show being dropped. We only had one other free night to do the show, so Jimmy asked his booked guests 'Lady A' if they would switch their slot so that we could fit in; but they refused. Oh.
I now no longer expect to live long enough to experience an offer to record for a grownup label. This topic would not sound quite so banal had I not mentioned it 47 times already. I promise I will not mention it again. The world, I expect, will somehow endure, even as the follow-up to 'Years of refusal' grows less and less likely. End of subject. I promise.
I am very grateful to our new agency, William Morris Endeavor, for their astounding efforts to make this recent tour so enjoyable and triumphant. No management, no label, no promotion … all that we have are fantastic ticket sales. Which means you. And there is no greater thing worth having.
I have the most magnificent live crew on the planet. If I said my thanks forever it would not be long enough.
Thank you also to Kristeen Young for dragging her make-up case up and down life's highways once again. The growing dedication of so many people who travel from city to city to follow the tour proves to me that now is better and stronger than the past. My admiration for those who refuse to miss a single concert is almost too emotive to voice. Words fail me.
Well. As the year dies, I return to England to prepare for the High Court circus of the NME case. Instead of simply saying "sorry" (for re-writing the answers to my last NME interview in 2007 in order to make me sound racist), the imperious NME would rather spend hundreds and hundreds of thousands of pounds in a High Court duel to the death. The fact that they have chosen a court drama over simply apologizing reinforces the notion that their original intent all along was to invent a sensation. So, here it is. And it is difficult to imagine anything more tragic from a magazine with such a gold-plated history. Of course, the court hearing itself will barely touch upon the actual 2007 interview, and will instead attempt to link my name to almost any unpleasant historical incident from the Irish potato famine to the murder of Medgar Evers. With the help of their giddy fan base at The Guardian newspaper, now is the NME's big chance to scorch me off the human map for good. And what a triumph that would be for them. What a proud and eternal boast.
Oh England, oh England - is this all you have to offer?
Just very softly
London, December 2011

And that's not all, The Mozziah also reappeared in MorrisseysWorld & the @MorrisseysWorld twitter account is live again. The MW website is not FULLY reopen yet, but he has posted a message saying, 'Coming Soon: The last ever 'My Live Tour Journal' by our parody 100% fake and bogus Mozzer'. He then has a photo of him and underneath it says, 'Christmas day 2011'. What a Christmas present! He's like a bloody bus, one minute NO Mozziah, the next, he's everywhere. I can't wait to read the 'Tour Journal', will we find out about the stringy dog lead thing? Will the finger lingerie get a mention? And will we finally find out what the speedos and 'Lady Boz' was all about? Talking of 'Lady Boz', I quizzed '@caterita2008' in Twitterdilly the other day to ask why she had replied to '@morrisseysmum's comment about the 'Elsie Tanner rerun'? '@caterita20008', who is allegedly an Italian housewife called Romina, explained that she'd googled Elsie Tanner and put two and two together to realise that it referred to Boz dressing up! Now that isn't a bad explanation and perhaps the 'Tour Journal' will reveal if 'mum's' tweet was indeed a reference to 'Lady Boz', but with all due respect to Romina, it is a little surprising that a 'Housewife from Rome' worked out that Boz was parodying Elsie Tanner when nobody else worked it out, I mean why would anybody work it out? How could you look at Boz Boorer in a woman's skirt and say, 'Do you know what, he's a spit for Elsie Tanner from 1960's Coronation Street'. Romina, I, unlike Boz, just don't wear it! So the mystery of '@caterita2008' continues, I also quizzed her on her tweet from Nov 3rd when she sent a message to @MorrisseysWorld saying, 'Please, please,!' I took this to mean that Romina knew about the release of 'Please Please Please' before anybody else, but she explained that it was merely in response to MW saying he was about to leave Twitter forever and she was pleading for him not to. Another perfectly reasonable explanation, and as Romina pointed out to me in her broken English, 'concidental'. So, the heat is off Romina, the Twitterdillian who's first tweet was on 28 Sep 09 and then no others until 23 Sep 11. Mmmm. Back to bed.

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