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Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Following the Mozziah Day 105 Wednesday 28th December 2011

THERAPY

THERAPIST ME (TP): Well, well, well, I didn't expect to see you here this morning, I thought you were going to write the comedy piece about The Mozziah and his Mum having Christmas together.
ME: Yes, I was and there were some great moments in that, especially when mum gives him a Smiths album because she vaguely remembered that he used to like them.
TP: So why are you here then?
ME: You tell me, you're the therapist.
TP: Well get on the couch then and I'll get the clipboard out and sit in the chair. Can I be a woman?
ME: WHAT?
TP: I've just got this vision in my head that the therapist is a woman.
ME: No, are we taking this seriously or not? I'll tell you what, I'll be the therapist and you be me, give me the clipboard.
TP(New One): Right that's better, let's start, let's talk about your dad.
ME: My dad? Where did that come from? Oh I see, you think my Morrissey obsession has got something to do with me not having a father figure?
TP: Well he did die three weeks after your eleventh birthday, it must have had some effect on you?
ME: Not that I'm aware of, I suppose it left me feeling let down but if anything it taught me to rely on nobody and fend for myself. If you think Morrissey is a father figure you're barking not only up the wrong tree but you're in the wrong woods.
TP: Okay, what about the death of your brother?
ME: This is ridiculous, I was thirty three when he died and we weren't even close. Morrissey certainly isn't a big brother figure and anyway, he was in my life way before my brother died.
TP: 'In your life' you say? That's interesting, he's not 'In your life' though is he, you've never met him?
ME: I've touched his left knee.
TP: And how was that?
ME: *laughing* What do you want me to say, I touched his knee and felt a real connection? The liason lasted a brief second, The Mozziah didn't even notice and I was carted off stage and flung through a fire exit, thus missing 'Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others'.
TP: That's interesting that you mention that song in particular, you missed other ones too, so why menton that one?
ME: No other reason than I love that version where he starts off by saying, 'You have incredibly good taste'. I love the rawness of that recording. I love all his recordings.
TP: Now we're getting somewhere, do you love him?
ME: What do you mean?
TP: Are you in love with him?
ME: This is ridiculous, I can't even believe I'm even typing this.
TP: There's always a delete button at the end, nobody's forcing you to publish this so let's keep going and just see where it goes. Describe your true and honest feelings for Morrissey.
ME: My overriding feeling is one of protection. I feel this absolute burning need to protect him.
TP: Why are you crying?
ME: I don't know yet but it's making it hard to see the letters on the keypad.
TP: Go on, why protection, you don't know anything about him?
ME: I just can't help thinking about people like Kenneth Williams, Charles Hawtrey, Tony Hancock, Sid James.
TP: You're just listing comedians.
ME: Shut up, Oscar Wilde, Peter Cook, Benny Hill, I could go on and on, these names are just flowing out of me.
TP: What about them?
ME: I think they were all unbelievable talents and they were all lonely, I don't want Morrissey to be lonely, I owe him everything.
TP: YOU'VE NEVER MET HIM! You don't know him, he's not one of your friends, you don't owe him anything.
ME: I can't help feeling that all those people I listed a minute ago and many, many more were never told, not REALLY told what they meant to their audience. I know Morrissey knows his audience love him because he sees it in their faces but those who meet him would never have an opportunity to really, really explain how they felt and what he brings to them, they would get tongue tied or act like that screaming Mexican woman on Youtube.
TP: Perhaps the like of the screaming Mexican woman is all he needs, he has said so himself that the recent Mexican audiences were unbelievable.
ME: I know, but I feel I want to give him more. If I were sixteen, I would be writing him fan mail telling him how much he means to me but because I'm in my mid forties....
TP: I think you'll find it's late forties now.
ME: Cunt, where was I? Oh yeah, because I'm in my forties, it isn't the 'done' thing to write and tell your fifty two year old hero how much he's done for you.
TP: Go on then, you know he reads this, tell him. Oh, here we go, more tears.
ME: No, I don't need to spill it out what he's done for me, I've spent the last three months doing that, I need to ask if there is anything I can do for him? You're right in what you say, I don't know him and hopefully he is surrounded by very, very close friends who he can discuss his inner most thoughts with, air his insecurities, bounce ideas off and talk about the things that scare him. Most genius's worry that it'll all dry up or the audience will go away, they bottle everything up and live in constant fear.
TP: And you think this is happening to Morrissey?
ME: I have no idea and that's what worries me. The likes of Kenneth Williams shunned the outside world and regretted it, I would hate it if I were to read his diaries one day and find that he'd done the same. Can you imagine if it were announced tomorrow that he'd died and it then transpired he'd died lonely and had never found love?
TP: So you want to love him?
ME: I already do love him, loads of us love him but is that enough?
TP: Do you fancy him?
ME: Where did that come from?
TP: Well? Don't worry, you've got a delete button, just let it out.
ME: Well I'm not gay.
TP: I'll be the judge of that, carry on.
ME: Well, I find him a very attractive man yes, in the same way I look at Elvis and think he's attractive.
TP: Would you sleep with him?
ME: This is ridiculous, why am I even typing this?
TP: Does the question make you feel uncomfortable?
ME: I suppose it's a bizarre feeling I have towards him, I remember reading a great quote once from a builder in Norwich who said something along the lines of, 'I Love Morrissey and I'd sleep with him if he asked me to and I'm not even gay.' He then continued, 'Oh don't worry about my girlfriend, she knows'.
TP: So what are you saying?
ME: Well I think it goes back to the protection thing, for some unexplainable reason, Morrissey has made himself appear so vulnerable through his lyrics and his public persona, that his whole male audience feel this un-describable feeling towards him, but yes, there is some sort of homo erotica about it, but I'm not the builder from Norwich, I'd want wooing first.
TP: That's a joke isn't it?
ME: Who knows? I've no idea and anyway it's all irrelevant, I feel I'm coming towards the end of this therapy session but it's been very useful, it's not me I'm worried about, it's him. I've got a sixth sense feeling that he's hit a crossroads and he doesn't know where he's going. I think he's feeling as though he may have reached the end of his recording career. I'm worried that he's made a Top 10 list on True To You of his 'Proudest Achievements'. Now, if he'd written 'Proudest Achievements to Date' I wouldn't be so concerned but he hasn't.
TP: Are we talking about Morrissey or the builder from Norwich?
ME: Always the funny man aren't you? I?
TP: You want him to contact you don't you?
ME: All the way through this 'Following' thingy, I have never once sent him a private message through twitter, I've not craved personal contact. We all look up to him because he is our God and therefore we have this slight fear of him and we also believe he's in full control, but I'm a great believer in fate and I think this whole thing has happened for a purpose. I would only want him to contact me if he needed to. I'd really like every single person reading this to write a comment underneath, telling him what he means to them and how much they love him. I don't think it's me he needs, that would just be my ego thinking I had some sort of special connection. I think what he 'actually' needs is US. He needs to hear from US, and from my personal view, I'm particularly interested to read the women's thoughts toward him, because until I came to Twitterdilly, I'd always considered his audience to be a male one, his lyrics seem to sing particularly to men but I'm obviously wrong. It isn't all about homoerotic meatheads but having said that, I'm fascinated to hear if other men feel the way I do, but most importantly of all, I'd like to offer people an opportunity to really poor their hearts out to him, tell him everything. I am confident that he will read every last one of them and remember this, if he died tomorrow, we would all meet outside his house, crying and lighting candles and we would tell each other how much we loved him, but we would have missed the opportunity to tell HIM, you now have that chance, so take it, while he's alive, while he's still in his prime and while you have his attention, this is an opportunity not to be wasted, it is for both you and him. Let it flood out, he needs you and we owe him, we owe him everything!
TP: What about those who still question if MW is in fact the REAL Morrissey?
ME: Then I will point them to his tweet of 26th Dec where he said, 'I believe Years of Refusal may come to be seen as my masterpiece when the Light finally Goes Out.' A day later on True To You, he listed Years of Refusal as his proudest achievement. A coincidence? Not this time. Please write.
TP: So, do you want to delete this or publish it?
ME: You don't need to ask me that.

12 comments:

  1. Oh so true!
    Well I think Morrissey appeals to men and women (female age 34). He allows us to open the gate of emotion through his unique wit and charm. I am single-had my heart broken, experienced urequited love, solitary complex and unconventional probably end up alone yet I yern love and lust and never feel compleatly satisfied....grrr!! Morrissey's like no other artist...I enjoy alot of other music but it doesnt make me or shake me in the same way, listening to Moz makes me feel at ease....plus he happens to be probably the most handsome man that has ever lived so yes there is a sexual attraction....but What makes it even more special for me is that many people just dont get it! They say he is depressing rar rar rar....but I dont find any of his music depressing...If ever his light went out..well it dont bare thinking of. If Moz reads this blog well....i hope he realises that his fans are genuine and all we really want is little piece of him so please keep up the music, blog and MW tweets...oh and a book signing appearance in the UK next year would make my life complete! haha x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Morrissey, how to write this without sounding sycophantic I don't know.I owe you so much which I find hard to put into words.I treasure your finesse which makes me laugh & cry in equal measure.
    My experience is one of over powering connection to so many of your lyrics. You made me feel less alone, understood & enabled me to be myself. I can't thank you enough for helping me with such fundamental personal growth
    I've Changed My Plea To Guilty changed my life, sounds a bit dramatic maybe. But how I experienced the rawness of the words & music was a revelation because I was offered the strength to explore dark & painful emotions .
    It is a honour to share a piece of your big compassionate heart, you will always have a big place in mine which had been smashed in pieces.

    My Light That Will Never Go Out, My Handsome Devil - I love, adore & thank you.

    To have the opportunity to share these feelings with fellow Moz addicts,who understand makes the experience even more special. So big shout out to my fellow twitterdilly village people as well!

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  3. Mr M you are totally unique.( But I guess you know that ! ) I find it fascinating that you have such a profound effect on both men and women. I think you are very handsome and have great taste in clothes.
    Your songs are amazing and the lyrics are like no other songwriter. Each time I listen to your music I hear something I missed the previous time.
    I think it says so much about you that you interact with your followers on the blog and Twitter. This makes you very special, as how many fans have the chance to discuss things with their idol ?
    I am very happy to have made friends as a result of you and to be part of Twitterdilly.
    I am not analysing my words here too much, they are as they come.......
    The world would be a much more boring place without you in it, take care xx

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  4. What does Morrissey mean to me?

    More than he realises. If that is possible.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Rat POORS (sic) his heart out and YOU take ze piss!

      Delete
  5. For anyone in pain - which is everyone isn't it? At some point? Morrissey beats a path to beauty and clarity. I listen to his songs every day. I have a top 3 which has 50 songs in it. Today? Mr Shankly. There are not enough words and I'm not good enough with them. So I can only say thank you to the great man that is Morrissey, from the heart (of my … not really!)

    Next up, TRB ... One night a few weeks/months ago, after linking to a few songs in Twitterdilly, I had a chat with you Rat. I told you I was in a funny place. "Brighton, hilarious" you said. Rat, you changed tears to laughter for me that night - you probably don't even remember. So thank you Rat - you're an abrasive, opinionated little rodent and you could start a row in an empty wardrobe, in fact, you're awful - but I do like you (have some kisses xxx)

    Last, and by all means least, "Our Mozzer" - enigmatic, funny, charming, I think you are anyway even though you disagree. Don't delete your account again. Not the most romantic of pleas but I would miss you. Who EVER you are. Even if you say little or nothing, it would be great to have you resting on the shelf & have you drop in for special occasions. Thank you.

    PS
    While I'm here .. Stillicling aka Clingster … for keeping me up laughing out loud till 3am when I have work the next day - thank you xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah! When Rosy 'admitted' she believed.
      The more evidence, and she walked away.

      Delete
  6. Morrissey,

    How do I possibly put into words a feeling which transcends so much? You are a beautiful part of this world. Simply put - I love you. Not in an overused, commonplace way but in a very pure and beautiful way. I fall in love with you again every time I hear your voice and listen to your words and every time you describe perfectly exactly what I am feeling. The sound of your voice can bring me to tears. You are always right beside me, holding my hand as I face the bitter pain and truth that is life. Because of you I will never be completely alone. There will always be someone in this life who understands me. You are beautiful in every way that a person can be. You have my heart and I love the way that feels. You are the most real part of me. These words are not enough. How could they possibly be enough after everything you have given? They are all that I have to offer, so… Thank you and I love you for all the things that you are. To me, you are a work of art.

    ReplyDelete
  7. There were things I forgot to say yesterday and on reflection......
    Our Moz you have an amazing voice which is full of passion. I think I do 'love ' you even though I have never met you, but hope this will perhaps be possible one day !
    I admire the way you use words, always in a precise way.I wish I had that talent.
    You connect with people and seem to be surprised by your appeal which is a very attractive trait.
    I could go on and on, but I will end here.
    Thank you for being you.

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  8. Is it ti late for sharing my feelings with all of you? First: please Rat don't laugh about my english...I'm to shy and I need everything but someone who take me in turn! Why I love Morrissey? Because in the late eighties to love Moz and The Smiths was the coolest thing to do for an italian girl. Yes, I know, you are orrified, but I was, and sadly still I am, an awful burgeoise! Yes, I occupied the University, but the I came back home with my own car, never by bus, and my home was a posh top floor flat! Now I 'm older, and when I listen to Moz I feel the ugly sensation that I spared all my life, but then I find a little bit of strenght and I'm searching to do something good, something to be proud! Thanks God I never met him, tanks God I'm meeting you!

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  9. I know, I know, I miss an "s" I exchanced an "o" in an "i", I'm not dislessic, I'm just italian, and I use to do more than one thing for time, sorry! Romina.
    P.S. I love you Rat, I love you all!

    ReplyDelete

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