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Friday, 6 January 2012

Following the Mozziah Day 114 Friday 6th January 2012

There is of course a very big 'plus' if The Mozziah were to be found guilty of racism, he would be able to lose, at last, the tag that has been hanging heavily from around his neck for the past twenty five years, yes, I talk of the tag 'Former lead singer of eighties band The Smiths'. You can't read any article, in any journal, without this tag preceding his name. I don't know why they don't just write 'FLSOEBTS, Morrissey', it would be far easier and we'd all know who they meant anyway. If he loses the court case, he can be plain old 'Racist Morrissey', which no doubt, The G*ardian, eNeMEy and all the others would love to be able to use. Don't worry, IT WON'T happen, it CAN'T happen, I'm sure the twelve men and women, good and fair, on the jury will see that justice is done. Of course there is another way to lose the 'FLSOEBTS' tag, reform The Smiths and be known by his former tag name of 'Lead singer of The Smiths' or 'LSOTS' for short. Then if he disbanded The Smiths, the papers would start referring to him as 'Former lead singer of The Smiths', or 'FLSOTS'. At least it would lose the 'eighties band' bit of the tag. Simon Le Bon doesn't get the 'EB' bit and nor does Tony Hadley, and they're more eighties than the eighties.
  Life has been busy in the Twitterdilly Arms, with the locals insisting on the installation of a virtual pinball machine and coffee machine. I am now having to also install individual 'Eavesdrop Holes' alongside everybody's private 'pigeon holes'. The timeline remains on the wall for all to see, but I am finding that if you scroll through the whole timeline, it takes anything up to an hour, particularly if you've been away from the pub for a while, so it will be much quicker and easier to just check your own 'eavesdrop' box, which shows you if anybody has mentioned your name. My new daily ritual in the Twitterdilly Arms, will be; 1) Read MorrisseysWorld, which incidentally still hasn't produced the long awaited 'Parody Tour Journals', which were promised for Christmas day, and then before day 106 of my blog and then, TODAY. By the time it comes out, the staples in the middle will have rusted, 2) Read my own blog for comments and 'stilliclings' jukebox playlist, 3) Check my personal messages pigeon hole to see if I have any post, 4) Check my eaves drop box, replying where necessary 5) Tweet/Order 'virtual' drink/Put a song on the jukebox. If I have time to kill, I reserve the right to take a stroll down the timeline, but I suppose, in a 'real' pub, you would only converse with those who happen to be in the pub when you're in it, and you wouldn't have the opportunity of hearing the conversations that went on previously. The one very important thing about the timeline though, is that you stumble across gems as you're scrolling up. Yesterday's gem, which I might otherwise have missed, was from Rosy Mires, (pronounced Meer-ez, she's got 'virtual' Spanish blood, Christ this is ridiculous) who posted a parody video she'd made, of the infamous Youtube clip, 'Charlie Bit My Finger'. Rosy's video featured The Mozziah's poorly, spelk ridden finger, that was bitten LAST JUNE by a dog, which for arguments sake, Rosy has called 'Charlie'. It is a hilarious video, but I can't let her take all the credit, just because she happened to work through the night making it, it was of course all MY idea. I set her the challenge to either make the video she has indeed made, or a 'revenge' video called 'Morrissey Bit My Paw', but I don't suppose she had enough suitable footage of The Mozziah biting dogs, I suppose she could've always have found a 'Chinese Mozzer', after all, there is a 'Chinese Elvis'. What do you mean I'm being racist? The Chinese DO eat dogs, that's a fact. What do you mean, not ALL Chinese people eat dogs, I never used the word 'all'. What's that you say? neither did The Mozziah use the word 'ALL' when talking about the Chinese? No, he didn't did he, and he also used six very important other words proceeding the word Chinese too, they were, 'You can't help but FEEL that the' Chinese are a subspecies. It doesn't sound particularly racist when you read it properly and have it put into context about the Chinese skinning dogs alive. I must stop harping on, we're all still 'possible' racists until the court case. I might get a badge. I could even offer Prince Philip a badge. Mind you, he wouldn't want to be branded a 'possible' racist, I'll get him a different one, a BBC approved one, with 'character' racist written on it. Far more acceptable. Anyway, back to the Twittedilly Arms, Rosy's video is really, very clever and I've urged her to put it on Youtube, it deserves a bigger audience that a dozen or so 'virtual' piss heads in a 'virtual' pub. I now can't get the words, 'It's the virtual Spanish blood in my veins' out of my head. I feel another therapy session soon. Stillicling's 'note taking', of the 'Twit Arms' jukebox play list, has been a heroic effort, and I am now getting to the point where I can almost guess, which of the 'Twit Arms' locals has put on which song when I read through the previous day's list each morning. The daily play lists are available for all to see in the comments section of my blog, and I will attempt, time prevailing, to produce a weekly 'air play' chart every Sunday. This novelty could very quickly wear off for both me and 'Clingster' though, so I reserve the right to not bother. The charts are a joke these days anyway and as I mentioned yesterday, the UK top forty, no longer reflects the true story of what is being bought each week. I may just make the chart up, Jimmy Savile would turn in his grave.

2 comments:

  1. The Twitterdilly Arms:
    Playlist - 06 January 2012

    Culture Club - Time (Clock Of The Heart)
    Morrissey: I Know It's Over (Palladium, 2011)
    Velvet Underground: Pale Blue Eyes
    Joy Division: Love Will Tear Us Apart
    Morrissey: Friday Mourning
    Nico: Wrap Your Troubles In Dreams
    Morrissey: Good Looking Man About Town
    Don Partridge: Rosie (1968)
    Stevie Wonder: Lately
    Five Satins: In The Still Of The Night
    Dusty Springfield: Little By Little
    The Ramones: I Wasn’t Looking For Love (Pleasant Dreams Demo, 1981)
    The Smiths: This Night Has Opened My Eyes
    Morrissey: Skin Storm
    Morrissey: Disappointed (Utrecht, 1991)
    Bangles: Walk Like An Egyptian
    Morrissey: Honey You Know Where To Find Me
    Morrissey: Trouble Loves Me
    Infadels: Free Things For Poor People
    The Easybeats: Friday On My Mind
    Morrissey: Honey You Know Where To Find Me
    Deep Purple: Highway Star
    Morrissey: Now My Heart Is Full
    Morrissey: King Leer (Hammersmith 1991)
    Morrissey: My Love Life (Hammersmith 1991)
    The Smiths: Unhappy Birthday
    Morrissey: Death Of A Disco Dancer (Roundhouse 3)
    The Smiths: Death Of A Disco Dancer
    Morrissey: Trouble Loves Me
    Morrissey: Jack The Ripper
    Morrissey: Teenage Dad On His Estate (Munich, 20.11.2009)
    The Housemartins: Happy Hour
    Morrissey: Southpaw
    Morrissey: Mexico
    Velvet Undergound & Nico: Femme Fatale
    Rita Pavone: Heart
    Morrissey: Kit (Unreleased from the Maladjusted Sessions)
    Morrissey: Kit (Unreleased from the Maladjusted Sessions)
    Morrissey: Certain People I Know (1992)
    Morrissey: He cried
    Bill Evans Trio: Summertime (1965)
    Morrissey: Reader Meet Author (acoustic version)
    Dexys Midnight Runners: Come On Eileen
    Morrissey: Hold On To Your Friends
    Morrissey: No One Can Hold A Candle To You
    Morrissey: No One Can Hold A Candle to You (Live)
    The Smiths: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
    Morrissey: In The Future When All Is Well
    David Bowie: Life On Mars
    Joy Division: Love Will Tear Us Apart
    Morrissey: Trouble Loves Me
    Morrissey: Maladjusted (The Music Box, 2011)
    Gap Band: Oops Upside Your Head (1980)
    Kit : Morrissey (Unreleased song from Maladjusted sessions)
    T.Rex: One Inch Rock
    Rita Pavone: Heart
    Blancmange: Feel Me (1982)
    Mott The Hoople: Roll Away The Stone
    Ennio Morricone: Sixty Seconds To What (1965)
    R Dean Taylor: Ghost In My House

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Twitterdilly Arms:
    Playlist - 06 January 2012

    Deserving of special mention:

    RosyMires: November Spawned A Mozbite

    ReplyDelete

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