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Saturday, 14 January 2012

Following the Mozziah Day 122 Saturday 14th January 2012

THERAPY ME(TP): Ah, good morning, I thought you were going to write today's blog as a straight piece?
ME: Yes I was, but as we were walking the dog a minute ago, you suggested it would work better if there were two of us.
TP: Yes, I agree, I was just setting the scene. I am armed with a trowel to scrape out all the fuzz in that little brain of yours. I shall act as your conscience, your ally and I will also take on the role of devil's advocate. You just sit back and be you. Right, where shall we start? I presume congratulations are in order, you have left the rat race?
ME: Congratulations? I've taken leave of my senses, that's what I've done. I am now an unemployed writer. Actually, if 'one' is unemployed, there is nothing to stop 'one' being an unemployed something else. My chances of 'really' becoming a 'proper' writer are zero, I know deep down that I will be too lazy. I may as well call myself an unemployed professional footballer. No, an unemployed wrestler, I like that more. I am now, officially, an 'Unemployed Wrestler'.
TP: But you are a writer, you are writing 'this'. Granted, it's not going to earn you a penny, (that's sort of like a centime for those of you listening in old French money) but it's what you want to do isn't it?
ME: This whole Mozziah thing has been like a calling. I'm a great believer in fate and I must be writing this for a reason. Why did I happen to stumble across MorrisseysWorld.blogspot.com when I did? Why did I start writing about it? Why have people started reading it on a daily basis? Why is The Mozziah himself reading it? Where is all this going? That last question is the reason that I MUST continue writing this, I need a conclusion.
TP: Right, my trowel is ready, let's start scraping everything out, shall we start with your 'special' friend?
ME: Yes, I suppose we'd better. I've been spinning this around in my head for days and days and still don't know what the answer is. This is the main reason that today's blog is a therapy session, I will just type and see where it goes.
TP: You truly believe that the 'Spirit of Nico' twitter friend that you are exchanging messages with is really The Mozziah don't you? I mean, you don't just 'think' it, you really believe it?
ME: Yes I do. I think he set up a twitter account knowing I would find it, and I did. In the same way that it was me who kept finding his clues last year, he knew I'd find this twitter account.
TP: Why would he be interested in you?
ME: Well he isn't, not really, but I think I've hit a nerve with Blue Rose.
TP: Oh not again! Why do you keep coming back to that?
ME: I'll tell you in a minute, but first, I need to decide how to handle my 'relationship' with The Mozziah.
TP: Relationship? What the fuck are you on about?
ME: I don't mean 'a relationship', look, I'm not deluded, well I probably am, but what I mean is, I'm not deluded about The Mozziah. We are exchanging messages on a daily basis, so by definition it is a 'relationship' of sorts, but I don't know the rules.
TP: Rules?
ME: The problem I'm having, is that this blog of mine is a reflection of my thoughts, but because I now know people read it, I am having to be careful what I write because if I write about everything that me and The Mozziah discuss, he'll stop corresponding with me, you know what he's like, he blows so hot and cold. One word in the wrong direction and I'll be history.
TP: Do you think you're his twitter pen pal? A modern day Robert Mackie?
ME: I don't know what I am. I 'do' know, that I haven't bothered 'saving' any of our correspondence because it would have felt disloyal, but then part of me thinks that maybe I should be keeping things, am I recording a story here? His 'fans' would want to know everything about him, but that's not why I'm doing this. It is all so confusing. It's like with my blog, there is no purpose to it, I'm not trying to create a story, I just reflect my thoughts. On a daily basis, I sit here and just let my mind empty, but there are certain things that I exchange with The Mozziah that I'd like to write about here.
TP: Why don't you ask him?
ME: No, absolutely no. There is no way I am seeking his permission as to what I can and can't think/write about, but at the same time, I am fully aware that if I say something he doesn't like, he will drop me like a stone and the whole thing will be over. His reputation proceeds him. He dropped me last week because I tweeted something he didn't like but then started following me again.
TP: Why do you think he did that?
ME: Blue Rose.
TP: *yawns* Go on then, you're determined to tell me. What is it about Blue Rose?
ME: It wasn't moonshine. I honestly believe that The Mozziah started the whole red and white rose thing as a bit of fun and no doubt, when the parody tour journals are produced, if they ever are, we will see how he laughed about how the whole thing failed. The parody website allows him to laugh at himself, but I'm sure he would have loved to have a secret society bringing roses to his concerts, just like Wilde had his carnations. Ideally, it should have been a society driven by the fans but of course the fans wouldn't have thought about it, after all, how many of The Mozziah fans really read Wilde? I never had until this all started, but I believe my interpretation of the roses and the fact that I took it to the next stage, a 'blue' rose, has really interested The Mozziah. He would have read of my findings that the 'blue' rose represented unrequited love, that it is not a natural flower, just like the green carnation, and also that the 'blue rose' in Twin Peaks was never explained.
TP: So you believe The Mozziah is interested in you because he believes you are the one to drive 'Blue Rose' forward?
ME: Yes. I still love the fact that 'Trouble Loves Me - Morrissey' is an anagram of 'Love MT Blue Rose', it's really, really something special.
TP: You asked him about why he didn't sing Trouble Loves Me on the last tour didn't you?
ME: Yes, but here in lies one of my problems, if I write about it here, I risk him dumping me again for breaking confidence.
TP: You aren't breaking confidence, he has always denied being Morrissey, as far as he is concerned, he isn't Morrissey, he is a female from Germany, he will never admit to being Morrissey and very few people reading this will actually believe it is him, they'll just think you are being your usual deluded crazy self. Go on, spill the beans.
ME: Maybe I should ask him?
TP: Bollocks, it isn't him! Anyway, does it matter if he dumps you?, he dumped you last week and you recovered quickly enough.
ME: Yes but I know what I'm like, he'll dump me, I'll then question myself as to what I am doing writing a blog about a man who has dumped me, and I will end up abandoning the blog and twitter out of spite and hurt.
TP: *laughing* How wonderful it is that age gives us the wisdom to think through whole scenarios to work out conclusions. When we are young we just lash out and 'to hell with the consequences'.
ME: Oh bugger it, he won't mind. My 'Spirit of Nico' told me that she/he would have cried if Morrissey had sung 'Trouble' and then she/he blamed me. I just hope I haven't built a monster with Blue Rose. Trouble is such an emotional song, perhaps he felt he couldn't sing it without crying?
TP: You seriously are deluded. But let's just 'suppose' you are right about Blue Rose, where does it go from here?
ME: I drive it forward and at the UK concerts, it takes off.
TP: You think there will be concerts this year?
ME: I've no idea but if there are, I have plenty of time on my hands to attend a few and I will drive the society forward on here and on twitter.
TP: You mentioned Madonna's new album the other day, why?
ME: I was laughing about the title when I saw it and intended to write a comedy piece with Boz coming up with a similar album title for Moz.
TP: What do you mean?
ME: Well, Madonna has dropped every other letter from her name to make the title, as in, M_D_N_A. It's therefore interpreted as Madonna DNA. Well I had this vision of Boz with a pencil and paper working out the same for Morrissey. M_R_I_S_Y. I was laughing to myself as Boz stood there, very proud of the fact that he'd come up with an album title of 'Mr. Isy', while Moz explained to Boz that it didn't actually mean anything. Anyway, as I started to play out the scene in my head, I had Moz, as ever, thinking outside the box and taking not the first, third, fifth letter etc, but the second, fourth, sixth and eighth, ie _O_R_S_E_. It was at this stage that I decided not to make the scene a comedy scene, this is interesting stuff. Just looking at those letters shows me two pictures, the middle letters of the word 'Horses', the title of the Patti Smith album that The Mozziah is so fond, or, and more importantly to me, an anagram of the word 'Rose'. It is always the rose!
TP: You really do believe this whole 'Following The Mozziah' thing is leading somewhere don't you?
ME: Well I've quit my job, so I suppose that proves a point. I'm even prepared to don robes and sandals to Follow the Mozziah properly. I wonder what would have happened if old JC had come to save mankind in an era with internet access? Would he have bothered to go out preaching, or would he have stayed in his bedroom with tea and toast, just blogging the word of the lord?
TP: I presume we're finished?
ME: Yes, but I have more I want to write about. I don't need you for this though, so have yourself a nice weekend, and don't do anything I wouldn't.
TP: I can assure you, I won't!

     So, as I prepare to spend the rest of my life slumped in a comfy chair in the corner of The Twitterdilly Arms, I had better update the waiting world as to the comings and goings of The Mozziah, not that he's been very active, in fact, apart from the odd one word tweet from 'mum', he's gone to ground, hopefully typing. I now have this image in my head of me sitting in the aforementioned chair, and as more and more people find MorrisseysWorld, and enter The Twitterdilly Arms, they are ushered over to me in the corner to fill them in. Something along these lines happened last week on twitter when '@H1308' (allegedly a midwife from Northern Ireland) was so jubilant that '@MorrisseysWorld' had tweeted her, that Twit Arms regular, '@cathyplus5', ushered 'H1308' into the Twit Arms and handed her/him a copy of my blog. I have visions of 'H1308' saying to Cathyplus, "Who is this TRB fellow?" and Cathy pointing to the little rat curled up on his armchair and saying, "That's him, if there's anything else you want to know, just give him a Twitterdillian dollar for the jukebox, and he'll fill you in."
  Interestingly enough, the numbers who are regular to the Twit Arms, isn't increasing. Now that MorrisseysWorld is back up and running, I would have expected more people to find it, but having said that, there is no longer a twitter link from MW, nor indeed is any of the original material on there, or the wonderful parody stories/ minutes of meetings etc etc. It would appear that the blogsite is undergoing some sort of upgrading work. Could it be that it will suddenly reopen, with not only a month's worth of tour journals, but also all the original material and links to the twitter accounts. It would appear the little man behind the curtain is one again controlling things in just the way he wants to. This whole experience  has enabled me, and I'm sure many others, to really build a picture of The Mozziah. He has to be one of the most; complex, controlling, inventive, mischievous, intelligent, obstinate, witty, creative, shy, self deprecating, fascinating people the world has ever seen, oh and also the best song writer ever.
  So, the Twit Arms regulars patiently wait for the tour journals, while the Wizard of Moz continues to type them up with the ever poorly finger, or in the words of one of my favourite number ones, the 'Finger of Suspicion', can it really be 'Still Ill' after all this time? The Twit Arms regulars are amusing themselves by creating one of the most intense chart battles in recent years, as 'Scandinavia' and 'People Are The Same Everywhere' battle it out to knock Rita Pavone off the top of the charts. Today is the final day for 'jukebox plays' to count, before the chart is announced 'live' in 'The Twitterdilly Arms' on Tuesday at 12.45pm. And will The Mozziah mirror our Top 10 with yet another Top 10 on True To You as he toys with the masses? Perhaps a 'Top 10 Belts of which I am Most Proud'?, or a 'Top 10 Shirt throws to the audience of which I am Most Proud'? My favourite would be a 'Top 10 Lyric Changes of Which I am Most Proud'. How about 'Top 10 Cover Versions of Which I am Most Proud'. Whatever he chose, the SO-Lowists would of course disagree, tell him he's wrong and once again announce that he's lost the plot! He must be loving all this, if nothing else, it's a way for him to pass his time between tours, albums, books etc, what else is there for unemployed former eighties band lead singers to do? I suppose he could become an unemployed wrestler!

2 comments:

  1. The Mozziah led me to read Oscar Wilde when I was a Teenage and for that I shall be eternally grateful!

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  2. The Twitterdilly Arms:
    Playlist - 14 January 2012

    Morrissey: Scandinavia
    Cocteau Twins: Sugar Hiccup
    Foundations: Build Me Up Buttercup (1969)
    The Foundations: Back On My Feet Again
    Everything But The Girl: Cross My Heart
    Morrissey: Let Me Kiss You Live (Guadalajara, 2011)
    The Smiths: Asleep
    Morrissey: I've Changed My Plea To Guilty
    Roy Orbison: In Dreams
    Kim Fowley: King Of Love
    Doris Day: Tea For Two
    The Smiths: I Wont Share You
    The Smiths: Shoplifters Of The World Unite
    Morrissey: I Knew I Was Next
    Morrissey: Trouble Loves Me (Milan, 2006)
    Morrissey: People Are The Same Everywhere
    Morrissey: Trouble Loves Me
    Morrissey: Christian Dior
    The Smiths: Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
    Morrissey: Whatever Happens, I Love You
    Morrissey: Nothing Rhymed
    Morrissey: Mexico
    Francoise Hardy: Mon Amie La Rose
    Morrissey: Sweetie Pie
    Caterina Caselli: Rain And Tears
    Morrissey: Scandinavia
    Morrissey: Scandinavia
    Lulu: To Sir With Love
    Morrissey: People Are The Same Everywhere
    Morrissey: Scandinavian
    Morrissey: Scandinavian
    Morrissey: People Are The Same Everywhere
    Morrissey: Scandinavian
    Rita Pavone: Heart
    Morrissey: Scandinavia
    Morrissey: Come Back To Camden
    Francoise Hardy: Mon Amie La Rose
    Morrissey: I'll Never Be Anybody's Hero Now
    Francoise Hardy: Mon Amie La Rose
    Cilla Black: Anyone Who Had A Heart
    The Who: Quadrophenia - Love Reign O'er me
    Lou Reed & John Cale: Faces And Names
    The Smiths: Panic
    Morrissey: Scandinavia
    Morrissey: Moon River
    The Smiths: Death Of A Disco Dancer
    Francoise Hardy: Mon Amie La Rose
    Morrissey: People Are The Same Everywhere
    Morrissey: People Are The Same Everywhere
    Morrissey: Scandinavia
    Paul Jones: I've Been A Bad, Bad Boy
    Simon & Garfunkel: The 59th St Bridge Song - Feelin' Groovy
    The Foundations: Back On My Feet Again
    The Foundations: Build Me Up
    The Jam: English Rose
    Morrissey: Our Frank
    The Smiths: Stretch Out And Wait
    Sacha Distel: Ou ça ? Ou ça ?
    Paul Jones: High Time
    Simon & Garfunkel: The Boxer
    Aretha Franklin: I Say A Little Prayer
    Françoise Hardy: Ce Petit Cœur
    Rita Pavone: Heart
    Sacha Distel: Que C'est Bon
    Nico: These Days
    Morrissey: Scandinavian
    Morrissey: Scandinavian
    Morrissey: Scandinavian
    Tommy Körberg: Judy, Min Vän
    Morrissey: Scandinavian
    Morrissey: Scandinavian
    Sparks: Never Turn Your Back On Mother Earth
    Morrissey: People Are The Same Everywhere
    Morrissey: People Are The Same Everywhere
    Morrissey: Scandinavia
    Morrissey: Scandinavia
    Morrissey: Scandinavia
    Morrissey: People Are The Same Everywhere

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