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Thursday, 19 January 2012

Following the Mozziah Day 127 Thursday 19th January 2012

The Twitterdilly Arms could soon have a new regular. Three days ago, I stumbled across a blog called 'mylifewithoutmorrissey.blogspot.com' in which the author, Andrea Willoughby, was lamenting that nobody on twitter noticed her, and that she had found a 'fake Mozzer' on twitter who she found to be "pretty funny" and with "sharp quips-not completely unlike the real one." I sent '@awillo9658' a tweet, informing her that '@MorrisseysWorld' was in fact the 'real' Mozziah and pointed her in the direction of my blog. For the past three days, Andrea, (who according to her twit bio is a 40-something, mother of three, high school English teacher from Orange County California - aren't we all!) has been reading my blog from start to finish, so yesterday I tweeted her to ask how she was getting on, she replied, "I am thoroughly enjoying it. At January. I want to believe. Will share my doubt later." She then later tweeted, "Wait! No, I actually believe it!" She then tweeted, "My doubt: that moz would not be interested in the time twitter takes up." Now that last point is a very valid point, but why is The Mozziah any different to the rest of us? By his own admission, he is shy and spends the majority of his time alone, so why wouldn't he use twitter and the internet? We do! Most of us question our sanity for spending so much of our time on the internet, but it is a changing world, and if The Mozziah had had the internet when he was younger, it would've saved him a fortune in stamps from writing to all those music papers, pen pals etc. So, during his boredom periods, The Mozziah uses twotter, as he calls it, and also messes around with his parody website, it is his toy. If it were a true parody website, run by somebody else, say somebody like me, it would be updated every day with various quips, japes and perhaps even real Mozzer news, so why is it that it hasn't been updated since January 3rd? It's obvious, the person behind it is just too busy. The person behind it, probably genuinely intended to produce those 'Parody Tour Journals', but ran out of time, why?, because their time is being taken up organising tours, putting together interval tapes, designing back drops, thinking about set lists, sorting merchandise and of course the one big 'black hole' extra, preparing for the court case. With Christmas now out of the way, The Mozziah's lawyers will be pinning him down, wanting to know every quote he's ever made, wanting to know what his thought was behind each statement and they will be asking him to explain any song he has ever written that the media may have interpreted as being racist. The reason The Mozziah is no longer tweeting or blogging (MorrisseysWorld is after all a blog) is because he has NO spare time and is exhausted. It is what he doesn't do with the parody website, as much as what he does do, that proves it's him!
  The lack of an active Mozziah on the internet, has meant that nobody else is likely to find MorrisseysWorld, which is why it is nice to have found old Willoughby, it's like another survivor being found on our desert island. Talking of the survivors on our desert island, there are now just a hard core group of seventeen (I've just counted) of us who come to the Twitterdilly Arms every day. A fully stocked pub on a desert island, why not? And as more and more people's lives fall apart and their ship's capsize, they swim to the island, enter the pub, and find like minded souls who have also been set adrift from reality. God, my mind doesn't half work overtime, I've now dragged a whole group of people through a wardrobe into Narnia, then down the yellow brick road, and finally I've shipwrecked them on some island, is it the same island that Tom Hanks ended up on in 'Castaway'? If so, the 'Twitterdilly Arms' regulars will soon be having a kick about with 'Wilson' the volleyball, or have we landed on Golding's 'Lord of the Flies' island? Am I the character 'Simon', at one with the island, who believes the Lord of the Flies talks to him? Or are we on Robinson Crusoe's island?, and is 'Friday' mourning? (yes lame, I know!) Could it be that we are all mutineers, like in 'Mutiny on the Bounty' and we have broken away from 'normal' society to settle on an idyllic island, one with a fully stocked pub and a jukebox? What is it with author's and island's? What is the big fascination with being set adrift from the norm? Is The Mozziah an island? They do say that 'No man is an Island', but he looks like one. Forget the tag 'Former lead singer of eighties band The Smiths', he could be introduced as, "Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for The Island, Morrissey." I like it. Anyway, what was today's blog supposed to be about? Oh yes, Willoughby, who having read today's load of nonsense, will no doubt be none the wiser, are any of us? Seventeen of us, blindly turning up, day after day, to a make shift pub, on a desert island/back of a wardrobe/up a yellow coloured road, just waiting, waiting, waiting to see if something emerges to prove that we were right all along. Is the hunch inside all of us right or have we all been easting our time? Is it a waste of time? We've made friends. Are they real friends? Will 'Blue Rose' take off regardless of whether it's real or not? What am I on about?, it is real, there has never been any doubt, and anyway, I've come too far, we've all come too far, however much we'd like to unplug our lap tops/pc's/iphones and pretend it wasn't real, we can't, we're in it to the end, wherever that end may be......on second thoughts Willoughby, put down that Gin & Tonic and get out while you can, run before it's too late, but stick to the road, don't venture onto the moors, run Willoughby and never look back. And for the rest of us, the ones who can't run, the ones who are stuck in the pub on the desert island, where will it end for us?, happily, at the end of the rainbow? How did it end for 'Simon' in 'Lord of the Flies' I hear you ask? He was murdered by a rival gang. Is So-Low gang leader David T*eng out to get me? I could always seek haven in the one place he can't go, a Mozziah concert hall!
   So, while The Mozziah continues to be pre-occupied in the real world, momentarily rescued from the island, what has been occurring in Twitterdilly? Well, I have had a little interjection with our old lawnmower friend, Mike Joyce. He tweeted, "Just been interviewed about first Smiths gig. No wonder I can't remember much about it. Over 30 years ago...Yowza!" I tweeted back to him, "Over 30 years ago? Really? The Smiths played before Morrissey & Marr met?...Yowza!" He replied, "Ha! Told you I couldn't remember much about it!" Well Monsieur Joyce, me old mucker, nobody really remembers much about your role either! Ready to say sorry yet? No? Get your clothes off then and back to the garden, it could do with a trim.

1 comment:

  1. The Twitterdilly Arms:
    Playlist - 19 January 2012

    Talking Heads: Artists Only
    Beatles: Here Comes The Sun
    Morrissey: That’s How People Grow Up
    Morrissey: Dagenham Dave
    Morrissey: First of the Gang to Die (Live At The Hollywood Bowl)
    Happy Martyr: Painkillers
    Morrissey: Let Me Kiss You
    Morrissey: The Never-Played Symphonies
    Morrissey: Suedehead (Sparks Mix)
    Morrissey: The Queen Is Dead (Live At The Hollywood Bowl)
    Eddie Floyd: Knock On Wood
    Rita Pavone: Heart
    Rosemary Clooney: Mambo Italiano
    The Doors: Waiting For The Sun
    Rosemary Clooney: Mambo Italiano
    Beyonce: If I Were A Boy
    Sophia Loren: Mambo Italiano
    Sophia Loren: Mastroianni Abat Jour / Salome
    Rosemary Clooney: Mambo Italiano
    Morrissey: The Bed Took Fire
    Morrissey: The Bed Took Fire
    The Smiths: The Boy With The Thorn In His Side
    Morrissey: The Queen Is Dead (Live At The Hollywood Bowl)
    Morrissey: The Queen Is Dead (Live At The Hollywood Bowl)
    Morrissey: The Queen Is Dead (Live At The Hollywood Bowl)
    Morrissey: Let Me Kiss You
    Morrissey: Let Me Kiss You
    Sophia Loren: Mambo Italiano
    Sophia Loren: Bing Bang Bong
    Morrissey: Disappointed
    Small Faces: I Can't Make It
    Gary Glitter: Rock'n Roll Part 2 (1972)
    Sophia Loren: Bing Bang Bong
    Rita Pavone: Heart
    Morrissey Picks Up Little Girl In Atlanta
    Morrissey: Now My Heart Is Full
    Morrissey: The Queen Is Dead (Live At The Hollywood Bowl)
    Jamie Cullum: What A Difference A Day Made
    Morrissey: Everyday Is Like Sunday
    Morrissey: Disappointed
    Morrissey: Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want (Live at the Hollywood Bowl)
    Jamie Cullum: All At Sea
    The Smiths: Reel Around The Fountain (Derby 83)
    David Bowie: Five Years
    David Sylvian: Orpheus
    Pop Corn: Hot Butter
    Morrissey: Everyday Is Like Sunday (Live At The Hollywood Bowl)
    Morrissey: Everyday Is Like Sunday
    Sinead O' Connor: You Do Something To Me
    The Smiths: I Want The One I Can’t Have
    Morrissey: Seasick Yet Still Docked
    Morrissey: Break Up The Family
    Morrissey Picks Up Little Girl In Atlanta
    Morrissey: All You Need Is Me
    Sigur Rós: Hoppípolla
    Morrissey: Used To Be A Sweet Boy
    Morrissey: I'd Love To
    Julie Christie: Spearmint
    The Smiths: Reel Around The Fountain
    The Smiths: The Headmaster Ritual
    Pavement: Gold Soundz
    James: Getting Away With It (All Messed Up)
    Sidewalk Prophets: You Love Me Anyway
    Jobriath: Ecubyan
    James: Sometimes
    Bauhaus: Ziggy Stardust
    Morrissey: Jack The Ripper
    Rhesus: Black Cat White Cat
    Morrissey: How Soon Is Now (Live at the Hollywood Bowl)
    Morrissey: First of the Gang To Die (Live at the Hollywood Bowl)
    Brigitte Bardot: Nue Au Soleil
    Japan: Nightporter
    Paul McCartney: Another Day
    Francoise Hardy: J'Aurais Voulu
    Rita Pavone: Heart
    Sophia Loren: Bing Bang Bong
    Peter Licht: Wettentspannen

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