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Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Following the Mozziah Day 133 Wednesday 25th January 2012

My desire to buy a 'physical' copy of every song that gets to number one on the Twitterdilly chart, has come to an abrupt halt, after just one week! I have somehow managed to buy all 1,185 songs that have graced(?) the top of the Uk singles chart since it started in 1952, and believe me, it has become a challenge in the last year or so, but the Twitterdilly chart flaws me after just one song. The chart has been going for three weeks now and when Rita Pavone stormed to the top in week one with 'Heart', I purchased a pristine copy of the 7 inch vinyl on RCA Victor, but the following week, thanks to a strong plugging campaign from a number of the 'European' fraternity on twotter, the song 'Scandinavia' by The Mozziah made it to the top. Incidentally, I use the word 'European' to describe anybody in Europe who isn't British. We Brits may kid ourselves that we are part of the European union, but in reality we aren't, we remain an isolated island that has never properly embraced Europe, and didn't even have the manners to join the euro monetary system, and if truth be known, our so called leaders, and indeed many citizens, still believe Britain (without the 'Great' pre tag these days remember) to be superior to everybody else in the world. Where this disillusionment comes from, God only knows, but when the world recession started in 2007, who was it who thought they were the only one capable of sorting everything out?, Gordon Brown. History may show, he was wrong! Anyway, today's blog is not supposed to be about Britain's pathetic claim to superiority, it's about the far more important topic of me not being able to buy 'cyber pub' number ones. With 'Scandinavia' hitting the top, I am unable to buy it on download, let alone cd, vinyl, cassette or shellac! I now have to hope that The Mozziah releases it at a later date, something that has happened quite a few times in the 'real' charts. 'Crazy' by Gnarls Barkley was the first song to go to number one with no 'physical' release, but fortunately for me, it was later issued on cd and vinyl. When Leona Lewis made it to number one with her cover version of 'Run', there was no 'physical' release in this country, and i thought that would be the end of my collection, but a cd was released in Germany and eventually a promo cd was released in the UK. It has also worked the other way around, where 'old' songs have gone to number one thanks to downloads, and I have had to go back and 'find' the original 'physical' version, the most prominent examples of this being,  'Singin' In The Rain' by Mint Royale and 'Killing in The Name' by Rage Against The Machine. It is surely only a matter of time that there is a number one in the real world that doesn't receive a 'physical' release, or, there must surely come a time when an album track goes to number one on download only? So, as I hope for 'Scandinavia' to be released, what happens this week?, 'Life Is a Pigsty' goes to number one in the 'Twitterdilly Arms' Top 10, an album track from the 2006 album, 'Ringleader of the Tormentors'.........I have decided to abandon my quest to purchase the Twitterdilly number ones!
   Perhaps, I should concentrate on 'real' top three singles, as yesterday it was announced that The Mozziah's 'Glamorous Glue' single was the 'Third Highest Selling 7 inch single of the Year' for 2011. Many congratulations Sire (not the record label, I mean The Mozziah! If I was congratulating a record label I would've said 'Many congratulations Major Minor, look, forget it, move on!). I bought both versions of the 7', but I'd be interested to know just how many it sold? In 1978, 'Mary's Boy Child' by Boney M was also the 'Third Highest Selling 7 inch single of the Year', shifting 1.79 million copies. 'Glamorous Glue' can hold it's head high, although it musy be said, the seven inch single is breathing it's last breaths. For those who hung on to the 10' shellac records in the very late fifties and very early sixties, (when vinyl had taken over) they are now worth a lot of money. Forget about holding onto your friends, hold on to your 'Glue'.
  So to the Twitterdilly Arms, where apparently rumours are rife that I am behind MorrisseysWorld. Hold on, that would make me The Mozziah, in which case, I am following myself, I hope I can keep up! The basis for the accusations are that our style's are apparently the same, well there is a reason for that, I have blatantly copied him. My style of writing at the beginning of this 'Following' thing was fairly basic, and incidentally, much less waffly, but over the months, I have plagiarised The Mozziah's style, influenced by the parody blog, and I must have done it fairly well to receive the accusations, I am truly touched and honoured (that's honered to you Yanks). Talking of The Mozziah, he has been back on twotter this morning with a few tweets. '@MW' said, "I'm overwhelmed by the response to 'Boredom is a Plague.' 9 comments on my blog. Stand by for a couple to be deleted when the tune is heard." I replied (to myself?) , "Nobody knows if 'Boredom' is real or a parody? I'm hoping real, although at the moment it is just words, please hum the tune." The Mozziah replied, "Dum-de-dah De-dum-da-derm. Lalalala. Drrum-de-dah." I have to admit, it's catchy! The Mozziah also tweeted, "I hope you're satisfied with the Argentina dates. Choosing venues is like buying Erasure b-sides; might be great but who knows?" He didn't disclose which Erasure b-sides he considers 'great', but presumably it isn't 'Like Zsa Zsa Zsa Gabor'? The Mozziah's most interesting tweet was, "France holds a special place in my touring-heart." I think it is safe to presume that a True-To-You announcement will not be too far away, confirming some concerts in France. I quite fancy a little trip to France, certainly cheaper than Japan, but "I still....cannot....speak....French" *Goes off humming 'The Loop'* Dum dum dum dum dumdee dum, dum dum dum dum dumdee dum.


  1. Bonjour mon cherie Rat! I was born in a place with France and rain all around! I'm dreaming of a Morrissey's concert in Rome, but France is not so far! I'm not on twitter this days, but I'm reading you and all the Twitterdillians! See you soon, ciao!

  2. The Twitterdilly Arms playlist January 25th:
    Happy Martyr's - Kiss Me Like You Stole It
    Lou Reed - Rock Minuet
    Siouxsie - The Last Beat of my Heart
    Mazzy Star - Fade into You
    Morrissey - Piccadilly Palare
    The Smiths - Unhappy Birthday
    Rogers & Astaire - Swing Time
    Morrissey - Action is My Middle Name
    The Cribs - Is Anybody There?
    Morrissey - People Are The Same Everywhere
    Rita Pavone - Heart
    The Smiths - William
    The Smiths - Stop Me
    Morrissey - Shakespeare's Sister
    Gerry & The Pacemakers - You'll Never Walk Alone
    Morrissey - People Are The Same
    Morrissey - Scandinavia
    Morrissey - Action
    Morrissey - Seasick
    Scaffold - Lily The Pink
    Scaffold - Thank You Very Much
    Morrissey - Art Hounds
    Morrissey - Tomorrow
    The Smiths - I Don't Owe You Anything
    The Undertones - Wednesday Week


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