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Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Following the Mozziah Day 139 Tuesday 31st January 2012

I never thought I would say this, but I feel sorry for Jehovah's Witnesses. I actually feel sorry for them for two reasons, firstly because they have all been completely and utterly brainwashed into believing a load of old mumbo jumbo, and secondly, and this is particularly poignant today, I feel especially sorry for them having to face all the rejection they face, as they try to spread the word about something they dearly believe in. I suppose my first feeling actually applies to the believers of any religion, after all, they are all man made 'cults' if you think about it. The world has been brainwashed over the years to believe in hundreds of different religions, and for many, once you believe, you're in it for life, it's 'got you'. The Jehovah's, like many other 'extreme' religions/cults, aren't just prepared to go about quietly praying to their God of choice, they feel the need to 'get out there' and thrust it down everybody else's throats. They feel SO passionate about their God, that they feel it is their 'duty' to spread the word. Up until yesterday, I thought they were just another bunch of wackos, but as I said in my very first sentence, I now feel sorry for them, because yesterday, doors were slammed in my face, left, right and centre, as I tried to spread the word of our Mozziah. There is nothing more infuriating than, KNOWING you are right, and yet, being unable to convince 'others'. Of course the Jehovah's 'know' they are right, they have to 100% believe it, or otherwise they wouldn't be able to do what they do. I have gotten to know a few Jehovah's over the years, and the ones who don't 'really' believe it 100%, end up leaving. There are two kinds of rejection for the old 'Joey's', the first being the straight forward slam of the door, without listening to a single word, and the second being, those who listen, but then reject the view anyway. As everybody who reads this blog knows, I am 100% committed to the cult of 'MorrisseysWorld', and by the way, it 'is' a 'cult', because the definition of 'cult' is, "A relatively small group of people having beliefs regarded by others as strange." Yep, that's us, and that's our Mozzer! I should point out, for legal reasons, that our 'cult' has nothing to do with the 'pop' group, 'The Cult', which are Billy Duffy's lot, who incidentally, I saw play live last summer at the Isle of Wight Festival. I had a wry smile, because virtually the whole audience seemed to just be waiting for 'She Sells Sanctuary', which funnily enough, came at the end. It reminded me of the time I saw Steve Harley play live, and all the way through, the audience kept shouting, "Play 'Come Up & See Me'", to which Harley eventually shouted back, "If I play the old pension song now, you lot will just piss off, now be patient, it will come at the end." I loved that. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, spreading the word, so, yesterday, I took it upon myself to spread the word of our Mozziah, just like the Jehovah's do, no, don't get me wrong, the Jehovah's haven't started spreading the word of Morrissey, god, can you imagine if that were to happen?, what I mean is, I started spreading 'word', like the Joey's do, and that's why I now sympathise so much with them, because NOBODY WANTS TO LISTEN! As I said a few lines ago, there are two types of rejection, so let me start with the first one, 'The door slam'. My tweets to '@Sumdizzywhore' and '@MarriedtotheMoz', have been met with a straight forward, 'put up the fences', 'pull up the drawbridge', 'stick fingers in ears', 'close eyes and make it go away', 'no thank you very much', 'slam door in my face', "WE DONT WANT TO KNOW!". I do, sort of, understand, because The Jehovah's would get exactly the same treatment from me if they came to my house. I've already 100% made up my mind on religion, so I wouldn't even consider the possibility that I could be wrong, I don't need to, I'm RIGHT! So that's, that then, 'SumDizzy' & 'MarriedTo' aren't prepared to listen to me, and you can't try and reason with somebody if they won't even listen, so then there are the other group of people to consider, the ones who 'are' prepared to listen, but then still say 'no'. To be honest, I haven't even attempted to preach to this batch of people yet, because after my 'Call to Arms' yesterday, (did you see what I did there? Call to 'Arms', as in 'Twit Arms'?, oh never mind) I ended up having to re-convince half of our actual group that Morrisseysworld is real, let alone trying to convince outsiders. It would appear that a number of things have happened to make some of our group lose faith, or at least, doubt their faith. Some think that the non appearance of the 'Tour Diaries', is just cruel and a hoax, whilst others have started to re-read all the 'old' content on the blog, and are now questioning it's authenticity. An example of that last point, is that one of the 'disciples' didn't think the 'real' Moz would use a picture of Ian Brady & Myra Hindley to depict Jonathan Woss & Rustle Brind. Why wouldn't he?, it's hilarious. Think of the two vilest creatures in the world and turn Woss & Brind into them, it's comic genius. If The Mozziah wasn't from Manchester, nobody would think anything of it, but because he is, he can't make a joke out of Brady & Hindley? Utter crap. And what's more, if some of these articles from MorrisseysWorld 'are' in his autobiography, there has to be some controversial stuff, we'd expect nothing less, as I said yesterday, this book will be different, well at least I think it will, because the only tweet The Mozziah posted yesterday, (as @MW) was in reply to my blog entry, in which he wrote, "Hilarious and quite wrong. I shall have 5000... by Christmas." I presume the, 'quite wrong' bit is in reference to my Simon Goddard theory. Oh well, it was just a theory, but then again, if I were right, The Mozziah would never admit it, and what's more, he's got previous for the odd fib or two, after all, where ARE those 'Tour Diaries' that were promised in December? Anyway, back to the main plot, as I ended up trying to re-convince half the 'team' that MW is real, I haven't had the chance to go out preaching to the great unwashed, and to be honest, I don't think I can be bothered anymore, bugger 'em I say, let them find it when they find it. I am not going to be like a Jehovah, shoving my beliefs down somebody's throat, I will be a quiet(?) believer, just doing my own little thing. Anyway, I can cope with doors being slammed in my face, but if I spent my valuable time with somebody, trying to convince them, and they still didn't believe, I think I might turn violent and punch them! Can you punch somebody in cyber space? Do the Joey's punch people for not believing them? Certain religions blow you up if you don't believe them, so I'm sure a punch from a Joey is acceptable. What about the Mormons, do they punch, or are they slappers? I think I will leave the recruitment drive to 'Old Willoughby', who incidentally, has written a blog and is chasing Lady Gaga fans to follow MW. Mind you, according to her blog, even 'Old Willoughby' isn't 100% convinced yet herdelf! It would appear that the 'signs' we've had so far from The Mozziah, have still failed to convince her 100%, but she isn't alone, very few are absolutely 100% convinced. What about me you ask? I've not only bought the t-shirt, I've worn it, washed it, and it's got holes in it, "I'M IN, 100%!" It just needs one BIG 'sign', something will happen that will leave NO doubt, I know it's gonna happen someday....I think!
   Well, that'll do for today, although I must add that the 'real' Boz Boorer has joined twitter, using the original name of.......wait for it......'@Boz_Boorer'. It will be interesting to see if the person who has been impersonating him, using the name, '@BozBoorer', continues to tweet or not. The 'real' Boz Boorer seems to have joined twitter solely to promote his new band 'Happy Martyr', who not only have a record deal with a label called 'Fabrique Records', but more importantly, have burst into the 'Twitterdilly Arms' Top 10. If the 'Martyr's' can get a record deal, then surely old Mozzer can? And talking of old Mozzer, which is why I'm here, his quest for 5,000 followers has reached.......4599, up 31 in a day, good old Willoughby, it must be the Gaga fans. I was going to talk about 'Blue Rose' today wasn't I? Oh well, that can wait. I have also decided to drop my idea of being an unemployed soothsayer, and take up my new position as 'envoy', just like that Terry Waite bloke was. Why was he called an envoy anyway? Whenever they talked about him on the news, they always referred to him as, 'The Archbishop of Canterbury's envoy, Terry Waite'. It's that old 'tag' thing again isn't it? Old Trevor MacDonald (Mac or Mc?, I can't be bothered to google it) couldn't just call him Terry Waite, his name was always pre-empted by, 'The Archbishop of Canterbury's envoy.' The same has happened to The Mozziah of course, he is never just called Morrissey, but always, 'The Former lead Singer of Eighties band The Smiths'. Well, anyway, I have decided that I want to be an envoy for The Mozziah, I've looked up the definition and it says, 'A messenger or representitive.' THAT'S ME, THAT'S WHAT I AM! Perfect! 'The Mozziah's Envoy', I LOVE it! Was Terry Waite paid?



THE 'TWITTERDILLY ARMS' TOP 10 - WEEK BEGINNING SUNDAY 29th JANUARY 2012

1. (DOUBLE 'A' SIDE) LIFE IS A PIGSTY/ HOW SOON IS NOW (LIVE AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL 2007) - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE)
2. TROUBLE LOVES ME - MORRISSEY (UP 1)
3. HEART - RITA PAVONE (UP 2)
4. KISS ME LIKE YOU STOLE IT - HAPPY MARTYR (NEW ENTRY)
5. THE QUEEN IS DEAD (LIVE AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL 2007) - MORRISSEY (DOWN 3)
6. I'VE CHANGED MY PLEA TO GUILTY (LIVE AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL 2007) - MORRISSEY (UP 3)
7. CRY ME A RIVER - JULIE LONDON (NEW ENTRY)
8. WELL I WONDER - THE SMITHS (RE-ENTRY)
9. BING BANG BONG - SOPHIA LOREN (NEW ENTRY)
10. STOP ME IF YOU THINK YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE - THE SMITHS (NEW ENTRY)

2 comments:

  1. I tried before rat and got a similar reaction from @ScarletIbis (a well know Moz fan on Solow). I keep swaying from 100% sure to 100% doubtful and back again. However, re-reading the blog, I keep finding tiny little coincidences (i.e. use of words, timings etc) that make me believe more and more. Like we always said, even if it isn't him all of the time, he has some sort of input into it! But hey, it's a parody, don't you know?!

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  2. I have also had periods of not believing it is the real Morrissey and then something happens to give me hope that it really is him ! Whatever the truth is, I am really enjoying the whole ' parody ' or not as the case may be. There is certainly a link between his Twitter account, Mozworld blog, AND True to You.

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