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Sunday, 5 February 2012

Following the Mozziah Day 143 Saturday 4th February 2012

Bizarre, I announce my retirement and my readership goes through the roof! Makes you think, if The Mozziah were to die, record labels etc would be queueing up to sign him, well his bones at any rate, or ashes, no, he'd definitely be a bones man, there is no way he'd be cremated, I expect he's even chosen his own box, lining material and hinges. In fact, he's probably had some massive marble tomb made, but where would he chose for his final resting place; Stretford? Clare? Rome? Highgate Cemetry (sic, or is it?), Berlin with Nico? Paris with Oscar? He'll have it all planned, of that I'm sure. Yep, if The Mozziah were to pop his cloggety cloggs, he'd be very much in demand, because everybody wants the one they can't have. Perhaps he should fake his own death and come and live in my loft, that'd get his follower numbers up! I could feed him the occasional Weetabix through a small hole, whilst he sits up there with his lap top, typing away to his heart's content, writing his blessed tour diaries. He wouldn't be able to tweet of course, well not as 'MorrisseysWorld', but he could use any of his other twit accounts to keep himself occupied. It would be like having my own little 'Spirit of Anne Frank' in the loft, and he/she would be sending private tweet messages to me downstairs, which I would then receive, as though they were from 'The Spirit of Nico'. I've lost the plot, I swear I've lost the plot!
  I won't post this blog entry today, not because I've lost the plot, but because it'll make me look weak, what with me supposedly laying low for a while. Laying or lying? Can't be 'lying', that's telling fibs, I'm telling the truth, although am I telling the truth?, because there I was saying I was not going to blog for a while, and yet here I am blogging! Anyway, this is starting to sound like nonsense, so I'll go and have another trawl around MorrisseysWorld, watch a bit of the cricket on telly, walk the dog, speak to my family, which is obviously a privilege for them, and definitely not go on twitter! Oh bollocks, why not, let's go and see if 'Nico' has left me any messages. Oh, one last thought for today, it occurred to me earlier, whilst trawling MW, that it is inconceivable that Rustle Brind and Jonathan Woss wouldn't know about the parody Morrissey site, so if they aren't, 'in on it', they would have mentioned it on one of their shows, which they haven't! They know, you know.
  STOP PRESS: I am now writing this at 10.30pm, I wrote the other bit earlier, while watching the afternoon sport on Sky, which incidentally showed a good win for The Arsenal, 7-1 against Blackburn, which is good news for me because Van Persie got a hat trick and I've got him in my dream team, in fact, he's my captain, so he's scored me forty points, but it'll go up even higher tomorrow morning because he'll get bonus points for being man of the match. Get in there. Anyway, I digress, I didn't return here to talk about my dream team, which incidentally is top of our local league. Yes, get in there again. I am top o' the league, sing, I am top o' the league. Why did I come back here again? Oh yes, the small matter of a brand new piece on MorrisseysWorld entitled, "News: Admin Guy apologises for transcription errors; FollowingtheMozziah announces its decision to close". The article starts by apologising for some mistakes in yesterday's 'Monopoly Christmas' piece, (in which it forgot to show consistency in wolling Jonathan Woss's 'R's) before then going on to say, "MorrisseysWorld fan site Following The Mozziah has announced its intention to close down. MorrisseysWorlders are expected at the end of Gt Yarmouth pier, Isle of Wight, on a secret night vigil in honour of the fansite tonight at midnight. MorrisseysWorlders have announced their intention to wear blue roses and bring candles in honour of the site." Of course, I know what admin guy is up to, he's trying to tempt me into continuing with my blog by flattering my ego. He must think I arrived on the last banana boat, oops, should I delete that?, I don't want anybody interpreting it as a potentially racist comment, mind you, until The Mozziah is cleared in the High Court, I remain a 'possible' racist, as I've previously sworn my allegiance to him in a blog entry a few months ago. I 'do' hope he wins that court case, not for him of course, but for me, this 'possible' racist tag is weighing heavily on my shoulders, I don't like it, I have friends from many races and I'm not exactly 100% English myself. I'm glad nobody's seen my 'possible' racist tag, mind you, it could be worse, it could be spread all over the national newspapers and music press that I was a 'possible' racist, now that 'would' piss me off, in fact if anybody 'ever' suggested such a thing, I'd sue the bastards. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, that devious admin guy, who incidentally, has just this second gone and published Part 2 of the 'Christmas with Mozzer and the lads (and mam)' piece, he really is trying to get me to blog! I have to confess, I'm tempted, perhaps I should see how the vigil goes, if loads of them turn up and say lots of nice things about me, I'll push the orange 'PUBLISH POST' button that is currently staring me in the face, saying, "click me, click me". Christ, even the bloody blog is trying to tempt me to blog. I must be strong, if I publish this post today, it proves that I'm weak and pathetic. Well, I'd just like to make one thing perfectly clear, if I 'do' decide to post this today, I am definitely not doing a blog entry tomorrow, and I mean it, no, I really mean it......unless the Tour diaries are posted.

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