Yesterday on twotter, I was threatened by Banjaxer when he tweeted, "Your going to get yours ratboy!" This immediately took the fun out of everything and I reported Banjaxer to the Police who have said they will pay him a visit. His real name is all over the twot thing, so the police said it would be easy to find him. They asked me if I knew anything about him and I said he was socialist who supported Mancapitalist City. The two coppers started laughing and said that he was a typical socialist, talk the talk but don't walk the walk. They promised that he would be interviewed within the week. They asked if I thought Banjaxer's threat was serious, so I told them that 'yes' it was serious if he wasn't involved in MorrisseysWorld, but 'no' it wasn't if he does know the truth about MW. They said not to worry, they'd beat it out of him. I showed them my blog, which incidentally they thought was very amusing, and also showed them MorrissysWorld, which they 'really' liked, in fact 'Graham', the blond coper with the moustache and slight limp, was wetting himself at 'Bans Committee' and yet he'd never even 'heard' of Morrissey, let alone David T. he knew of Michael Bracewell's works though, and asked if I knew when we could expect to see something new? I said I had no idea and had never read any of his stuff.
Having read through the whole of my blog and MW, the police concluded that Banjaxer IS involved in MW, so they will be sending the parody police around instead, which I have said I am happy with, as they seemed to know what they were doing. Nice fellas too. They really loved the socailist/Man City thing. The other copper, Colin I think his name was, told me he was a massive United fan, and joked how ironic it was that, and I quote, "all the City lot have been ridiculing United fans for years for just 'buying' success, and yet here they are now, doing the same and yet claiming it's 'different'." He then started waffling on about United's successful youth policy and that City fans were wrong to have said what they had said, but I glazed over if I'm honest. I didn't say anything because I wanted Banjaxer banged up, but to be truthful, this Colin was typical United, only been to 3 games in his life, and they were all on various birthdays. C*nt.
Anyway, forget Banjaxer's violent assault, let's talk about my song. Oh, by the way, Banjaxer has since removed his threatening comment from twitter, he must have realised that he'd over egged his part in this whole shenanigans. And talking of which, I am now convinced that both Rosy Mires and Still I Cling are both in on the double agent thing, but as they won't admit it, I have decided to no longer engage them in debate over the authenticity of MW. For legal reasons, I must stress that this decision has been taken with heavy heart. I will engage them in small talk however, and am prepared to exchange music videos and witticisms, if any can be found.
G.O.B is back on twitter and I know that she isn't a double agent but seeing as she is still arguing the toss as to the authenticity of Mum, let alone Moz and MW, I have decided not to enter debate with her either over the authenticity of anything. For not so legal reasons, I can confirm the heart is slightly less heavy for her. In fact, I will no longer debate authenticity of MW with ANY of the long standing regulars of the 'Twitterdilly Arms', if they really, really don't believe it is Morrissey by now, they are plain STUPID. Sorry if that offends anybody, but with heavy heart, you really are stupid. I worked it out on day 1, gave up my job because I realised just how important all this is, and have spent everyday, for 6 months, trying to convince everybody. And what thanks do I get? Oh yeah, I get Morrissey serenading me live on stage in Rio de Ja f*cking neiro.
So, my song, and yet another sign. Actually, let's get this in order, my song and sign were song nine, but before that there was Alma's song and sign, five songs in. Still with me? Good. 'Alma Matters' was sung with The Mozziah giving the 'O' sign with his thumb and forefinger THREE times, and each time he made a point of staring at the 'O' as if to say, "Look MorisseysWorlders, I'm making the 'sign'." It is so, so obvious that if anybody truly denies it now, I will run around the Twit Arms naked, with a blue rose up my arse, singing Trouble Loves Me.
Anyway, my song, but first some background. I wasn't going to mention this, because it was a fairly private chat that I had with Morrissey in the MorrisseysWorld chat room, but as he has now since mentioned it on MW, I will too. Two days ago, I popped into the MW chat room and he appeared, just like the shopkeeper in Mr Benn. He told me of a dream he'd had, where he was singing a duet with Bieber of 'One Less Lonely Girl', and that Bieber was taking the lead. I then asked The Mozziah if he woud do me a favour. He said that as long as it didn't involve eating a bacon wotsit, then 'yes'. I asked him to change one of the 'Fatty's' to 'Ratty' in the song, 'You're The One For Me, Fatty', in the concert in Rio. Morrissey said he couldn't, but I had a sneaky feeling that he just might, so this afternoon, after I'd returned from my morning away in the rather lovely Kingston-Upon-Thames, that's in Surrey for those of you in foreign lands, or Manchester, I headed straight to Youtube, and there was 'Fatty' and 33 seconds in, there was 'Ratty', with an emphasized 'really, REALLY love" to boot. How can I ever show my gratitude? Tune into the Twitterdilly Arms Top 10 Countdown on Tuesday, 12.45pm UK time, to find out. The votes are all in, have been counted and verified, and I can confirm, that there is a new number 1.
There is more that I planned to write today, but I've been really busy in the real world and I need to sleep, so I'll write more tomorrow, but The Mozziah has already promised another sign at tomorrow nights concert, which incidentally, is due to be streamed live. He has hinted that he will be photographed today and so perhaps that photograph will be on the backdrop? Will this finally be the sign that has them all running? One day I really, really will wake up and find that this has all gone viral, but then again, I've been saying that for six months!