Today it is a beautiful, sunny spring day, but I have to confess that I am weary and probably close to ending my blog. When I first found MorrisseysWorld, the fun and excitement of the 'is it him', 'isn't it him' gave me a real buzz and as I started debating with fellow excited Morrissey fans on twitter, the climax rose and rose (if you'll excuse the pun). I found myself blogging on a daily basis as the excitement mounted and clues were given. I sensed something very important was happening and as I wrote my blog, I found my writing improved and I was able to just let my thoughts flood out. When BucktoothedBoy, aka, Russell Brand accused me of being a professional writer, I actually cried, a) because it was a real compliment and b) because it suddenly dawned on me that I was in my mid forties, and I had missed out on the career I would have loved. But I convinced myself it wasn't too late.
I decided to give up my job and take up writing for a living. I didn't know what I would write, I just knew it was what I wanted to do, and I was sure I'd be good at it, and at any rate, I wanted to see if I was capable of it. As it happens, because MorrisseysWorld 'still' hasn't been discovered by the media, I have continued to write about Morrissey on a daily basis, and I've thoroughly enjoyed it, but how long do I do it for?, and while I'm writing this blog, there is certainly no time to write anything else. There is also another factor. Although I gave up my job, I retained an interest in the business, and without me there, it just isn't performing the same. I must've been too good at my job, so, with heavy heart, it looks as though I may have to return to my 9 to 5 job. Writing was a pipe dream, the reality is something quite different, and if I do have to go back to work, I just cannot continue to do this. My heart really IS heavy.
On a lighter note, yesterday's concert in Sao Paulo looked fantastic, with the same set list as the previous two concerts. MorrisseysWorld has even listed 'Ratty' instead of 'Fatty' in the set list. No roses appear to have been thrown, but a large bouquet was launched during 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.' The 'O' sign was given again during 'Alma Matters' and the 'All seeing Eye' image has been added to MorrisseysWorld. 'Ratty' was definitely NOT sung during 'Fatty', and as I listen and re-listen to the Rio version, even 'I' am questioning if I really heard it or not, although having said that, it may just be because I'm feeling a little sorry for myself today. In fact, I'm feeling so sorry for myself today, that I just can't continue to write. I haven't been on twitter because the majority of the people I used to tweet with on a regular basis either seem to have lost complete interest in MW, or are playing the game of not believing, and I'm just too tired to argue. I hate feeling like this, I am usually such an upbeat person. Shit, now I've got tears falling. Time to stop.