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Wednesday, 30 May 2012


In the absence of anything new from 'Our Mozzer', I have revisited one of my very favourite pieces from, the 'Minutes of the Bans and Concert Ejections Committee (BCE) when considering Mr David Tseng's appeal against lifetime Morrissey concert ban', which was published on Friday 26 August 2011. Reading this article has reiterated just how much I (and I'm sure many others) have forgotten over the past nine months. The 'Bans' article draws reference to the MorrisseysMum twitter account (I did keep telling you all it was HIM), the ROSES, and also explains the involvement of 'Walter Ego' (aka Banjaxer), who 'Our Mozzer' says, he 'pays', to place comments on So-low (I did keep saying he was an insider, and it makes my Skinny stitch-up theory very plausible!). I have decided to re-publish a few extracts from the original article, just to remind everybody of a few things concerning MW, but would encourage everybody to go and re-read the whole piece, as it is probably 'Our Mozzer's' finest hour.


MORRISSEY: What am I going to do with my blog?

MIKEY (BRACEWELL): You've had a few hits. A few thousand actually, Morrissey.

MORRISSEY: Oh that's just Walter Ego.

MIKEY: Walter Ego?

MORRISSEY: Yes, he's one of the so-low trolls. I pay him to write nonsense all over the so-low site and do the odd internet-based jobs for me, like repeatedly visiting my blog and posting links around the place.

MIKEY: You pay him?!

MORRISSEY: Nothing excessive. Just £50 a month.

MAM: It's not £50, Steven - it's £47. You reduced it when he fell into a diabetic coma in July and forgot to start a so-low forum thread about the blog. Poor lad. He was in intensive care for weeks...

MORRISSEY: Yes, my mistake, Mam. £47.

MIKEY: Aren't you worried he might go public and...well, it would be a little embarrassing, Morrissey. You know it might look crass if the wrong person got hold of this story...front page news, least in the NME...

MORRISSEY: Oh don't worry. I sent old Grant Showbiz over in January to compile a dossier on him. He's claiming disability and not declaring his earnings from me. I've got him over a highly polished French table...
MORRISSEY: No, the place is dead. If you exclude Walter Ego's visits and Boz Boorer's endless refreshing, it gets about fifteen hits a day. What can I do to get the traffic up? Literary icon, poet for a generation and famous singer...and I can't get any b*****d traffic on my blog for love nor money.

BOZ: Well ah was just thinking about this the other day and I thought, now Old Mozza's blog is basically a joke. Now how can we rectify the situation? Well, I thought, why doesn't Old Mozzer just steal Morrissey Solo's idea and just start posting all the news. That way you might get a few people over to the blog and they might accidentally read your prose and...well...grow to like it an' all.

MORRISSEY: It's brilliant. Boz. It's ruddy bloody brilliant. I could kiss you, and if it wasn't for the corned beef pasty smell, I probably would...

BOZ: Thanks Sir.

MIKEY: You've already tried claiming to be Morrissey, while writing in a dumbed-down parody of your own writing style. Why not do the opposite? Deny you're Morrissey but write in a much closer approximation of your own style, remembering to preserve the ironic flourishes and self-deprecating intellectual cul-de-sacs. You can occasionally contribute to the blog as a 'satire' of Morrissey when, in fact, you are Morrissey; meanwhile you'll need someone else to write the 'news' items.

MORRISSEY: I could perhaps change a few of the facts around in the essay, toss the odd spanner in the works for the observant and the pop minds to throw them off the scent, render the clues a little less 'in-your-face,' so to speak...mix up a few dates...Oh this is a wonderful scheme, one of your best Boz.

MIKEY: Just think of the hits you'll get when they realise it's you...but they can't prove it. In terms of Enigmatic Otherness Factor, this is off the scale...

BOZ: Yeah and also it'll wind up old Tseng. Just think of that goose going mad in his taking over his role, stealing his thunder.

MORRISSEY: It will be just like the time I posed as Paul Morley on the site in the naughty noughties, Boz...Now those were the days...Boz and I had a right old laugh over that little episode. We even posted some fake interviews and everything - trying to create the impression Old Cloth Ears Morley had a dedicated blog in honour of 'Ringleader.' Tseng wouldn't even link it on that dreary website/page of his...had he done so, tink of the free publicity in the English press - "fake Morrissey interviews, Morrissey to sue!" Now obviously we couldn't sue ourselves, much as I can't sue myself over this blog...but the mere threat of suing for libel...well the publicity would be worth thousands...We didn't quite get there in the end with the blog...Bloody Tseng wouldn't post it, went and ruined our harebrained scheme...realised it was a plot.

MIKEY: I'll design a poster to replace the 'Utter B******s I'd Cross the Road to Avoid' we're going all serious as a news site...

MORRISSEY: Oh but can't we keep that part? It's the only part I truly adore. The smirk on my face too in the picture atop the item - it's quite apt.

MIKEY: I don't think so. If we're to convince them all it's you pretending to be somebody else parodying you while at the same time denying you are pretending to be somebody else parodying you, then we need to put that stuff aside. At least for now, Morrissey...

MORRISSEY: Well keep it on the site, just move it down the page as an article instead. No, I insist. We must keep the 'utter b*****ds' bit. Without that item, the site for me is sadly lacking. Imagine Tseng's little face! And he can't sue me for stealing his news or wrecking his website because no b*gger can trace you on blogger!

MIKEY: Speaking of Mr Tseng, shouldn't we get back to the democratic discussions and consultation exercise regarding this letter of appeal he's written against his lifetime live concert ban? Time's running out before Corrie and I haven't even finished reading the opening paragraph of his appeal letter, which is twenty-four pages long...

MORRISSEY: Oh Mikey, I think that's quite enough democratic discussion for one afternoon. Ban the c**t.

MIKEY: But we haven't consulted your fanbase via the blog, Morrissey...What about the consultation execise? Your blog is quite clear about this...'There will be a consultation exercise...' Those are your words from your blog...

MORRISSEY: I've already asked Walter Ego - and he said "I agree wholeheartedly, sir" so the procedural side of things in terms of consulting my fanbase is all in hand.

MAM: One more thing your concerts...

MORRISSEY: Oh God, not that again, Mam. All I can remember from '84 and '85 is being repeatedly stabbed in the left contact lens with gladioli stalk...I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack, what with the vagus nerve centres being behind the eye...can slow the old heart rate right down. It can be utterly lethal.

MAM: Steven, it's such a pretty thing...all those flowers...all boucing around in the crowd...

MORRISSEY: Can't I just wear a little freesia or something in my buttonhole? Or a flower head dangling symbolically from my waist?

MAM: Steven - for me? Just this once...

MORRISSEY: Oh go on then, mother. Don't say I don't do anything for you, either...

MAM: Roses, Steven. Make it roses. I do love seeing all those flowers in the mosh pit as I gaze down from the seats. Makes me cry. It reminds me of Wilde.


Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Following the Mozziah Day 258 Tuesday May 29th 2012

'@MorrisseysWorld' has appeared briefly on twitter this morning, to have a go at a 'Daily Telegraph' journalist called Tom Chivers, in relation to his article about a protestor at yesterday's 'Leveson Inquiry' (the Leveson Inquiry is a long running inquiry into the ethics of the British press).  The protestor had shouted abuse at Tony Bliar, calling him a war criminal, but rather than agree with the protestor (like most of the UK does), Chivers berated him. 'Our Mozzer' laid in to Chivers, calling him a "well-paid whore", to which Chivers replied, "I'm not well paid" (no denial of being a whore), so 'Our Mozzer' shot back with "Why bribe a British journalist when he will gladly do it unbribed?" I did say yesterday that I had a feeling that 'Our Mozzer' was about to come out all guns blazing, and we ain't seen nothing yet. With 8,395 followers (down 5 from yesterday), 'Our Mozzer' now has a twitter audience, but imagine what he will be able to do when he has hundreds of thousands, it makes your mouth water.

Yesterday, I buttered up Richard 'Old Maid' Madeley (@richardm56) in an attempt to get him to unblock 'Our Mozzer' on twitter. I told him I enjoyed the banter, and then socked him with my killer punch, I called him a legend (that always works with celebs). 'Old Maid' tweeted me to say, "Hee hee. Morrissey hates me cos I mocked some ludicrous things/threats he said/made on stage a few years back." (Did he REALLY tweet 'hee hee'? Yep, he did!) 'Old Maid' then agreed to unblock 'Our Mozzer'....I knew the legend thing would work!
   'Our Mozzer' didn't of course thank me for my act, he tweeted to say "Being blocked by Richard Madeley made this Twitter career seem almost worthwhile." Ah, well, tough luck Mozziah, you are here for our amusement, nothing more, nothing less.

'@MW' also had a quick dig in the ribs of Rihanna, and then signed off by tweeting, "Self-disgust is to self-love as rust is to the Austin Allegro." And then he disappeared, but keep your eyes peeled, he's started following Victoria Beckham!



*Does ANYBODY know where the recital came from? Perhaps 'Our Mozzer' could enlighten us?

Monday, 28 May 2012

Following the Mozziah Day 257 Monday May 28th 2012

Photo taken at Bob Hope Theater, Stockton, California by Jason Debord (Read his fantastic review at )

Morrissey has ended the latest leg of his world tour, with two concerts over the weekend, in Bakersfield and Stockton. I have this morning been working my way through the Youtube footage, and although both looked to be great concerts (they always are), there is little to report that has any bearing on MorrisseysWorld.

There is very little footage from Bakersfield, so I will ignore it completely and just give a brief overview on Stockton. The finger lingerie was back, with Moz wearing a little blue number. His left wrist was also strapped, but I have no idea if that was a reference to his blog, or a good old fashioned injury. Boz wore the bluey/green dress & dark nail varnish. The band were in 'Assad is Shit' t-shirts. The show opened with 'Shoplifters', contained 'Maladjusted' and 'Action', and closed with 'Panic' as the encore, in which there were quite a few stage invaders and hugs. During 'Speedway', Morrissey quoted "I believe that since my life began, the most I've had is just a talent to amuse." The lyrics are from 'If Love Were All' by Noel Coward, although Morrissey could possibly have been more influenced by the Shirley Bassey version. It is described on wikipedia as 'self deprecating' and 'One of the loneliest pop songs ever written'. Marianne Faithfull's version of the song also consists of the lines 'Though fate often treats me meanly, I serenely persue, a little mirage in the blue.'

During the concert, Moz handed the mic to a woman in the front row, who spoke from the heart and said what many of us would love to say. Among other things, the women thanked Morrissey for "giving a home to so many people who just can't find their place in this world and above and beyond all things for dragging virtue into the spotlight and keeping it there for almost thirty years." She got a huge cheer and Moz replied "it's too much".  A flower (which looked like a red rose) landed on the stage during 'How Soon Is Now', and initially it was not seen, but eventually Morrissey noticed it and whipped it away with the mic lead, obviously not interested. It would appear that roses need to be 'HANDED' to Morrissey. During both 'Maladjusted' and 'Everyday Is Like Sunday', Morrissey held his heart, but didn't put his hand INSIDE his shirt. He also made the 'O' sign during 'Sunday'.

So, the concerts are over, and now we await The Mozziah's return to twitter. He has already posted a handful of tweets, and I get the distinct feeling that he is about to up the anti. He now has 8,400 followers, and apart from tweeting a few things about the Eurovision song contest on Saturday, he has also tweeted,

 "Boring celebrities who tweet about what they're eating/buying and what the Guardian says today - beware. There's a new man about town."

It's fighting talk, so are we about to see Moz let loose?

'@MorrisseysWorld' has also hinted at a new parody article entitled, 'Manc Lad's Rose Diary', I wish I'd thought of that!

I have just read back through this blog entry, and it's rubbish, it's a good job nobody is paying to read this, as I'd be issuing refunds. Having spent the whole of my weekend playing and watching cricket, I feel I am neglecting my Moz duties. Now that the concerts have ended, I can cut the umbilical cord and wait for MorrisseysWorld to explode....and for now, I'm off to watch MORE cricket.

Twitterdilly Arms Top 10 Countdown tomorrow at 12.45PM UK time with @TheRatsBack on twitter.....not 'arf.

Friday, 25 May 2012

Following The Mozziah Day 254 Friday May 25th 2012

 Tucson Music Hall, Tucson, Arizona May 23rd (May 24th UK time)


1. You Have Killed Me
2. Shoplifters Of The World Unite
3. You're the One For Me, Fatty
4. One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell
5. How Soon is Now?
6. Alma Matters
7. Action Is My Middle Name
8. Ouija Board, Ouija Board
9. Black Cloud
10. Everyday Is Like Sunday
11. To Give (The Reason I Live)
12. Meat Is Murder
13. Let Me Kiss You
14. People Are The Same Everywhere
15. I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris
16. When Last I Spoke To Carol
17. Scandinavia
18. I Know It's Over
19. Speedway
Encore: Still Ill 


I didn't write a blog entry yesterday because, a) I was out watching cricket all afternoon, in the glorious English sunshine, and b) I was waiting for more Youtube videos to appear from Tucson. I have now given up on waiting, perhaps Tucson has a power failure! It's like the Japanese shows all over again. The few videos that are on Youtube show loads of people using their camera phones, so maybe they just don't want to share!

From what I have seen, Boz was back in the blue sparkly dress, and the band wore t-shirts with 'Attack' written on them, a hint at a return to his former label? I think Morrissey was sporting pink finger lingerie, but I can't quite make it out. It wouldn't be a surprise if he was, because he DEFINITELY wore it in San Diego, but I hadn't noticed it at the time of writing my blog on Wednesday. The finger lingerie is YET ANOTHER blatant reference to the MW blog, but it occurred to me that perhaps Morrissey 'changed' the dressing mid show, but due to a lack of close up footage, or clear photos, I just cannot tell.

It also impossible to know if Moz put his hand 'inside' his shirt during any of the songs (as mentioned in my blog Wednesday), and there has been NO mention anywhere as to whether or not anything was quoted during 'Speedway'. What we DO know, is that during 'Speedway' in San Diego, Morrissey quoted the following lines:

"Some are born for happiness
  Some are born for sorrow
  All this hardly matters
  For we won't be here tomorrow."

Despite debating this on twitter, NOBODY seems to know where it comes from, so if anybody reading this can enlighten me, please leave a comment at the bottom. Heather Cat wondered if it was in some way linked to 'What Difference Does It Make', and suggested that it could be a John Fowles quote, but it would appear not. It also doesn't seem to be an A.E.Houseman quote. Somebody MUST know?

The only other thing to mention about Tucson, is that Moz and the band left the stage early during the encore due to stage invaders. It is great to see 'Action Is My Middle Name' back in the setlist, but I am growing increasingly frustrated at not 'owning' this song, I can't wait to see the dawning of  'My World', that has been hinted at.

So, to MorrisseysWorld, the blog as re-opened with an article entitled:

'Morrissey plays birthday show, wears shirt with blue rose on it, *ALLEGEDLY* quotes first line of 'closing down' notice on blog; May 22nd was also St Rita's day..she is portrayed holding roses. SYNCHRONICITY.'

The article goes on to say that Morrissey wore a shirt that appeared to feature blue roses (personally I thought it was just the lighting that made them appear blue, but hey ho, I'm hardly going to question it, in fact, why am I even mentioning it, because as 'signs' go, it's a cracker, and what's more, can you put this much inside brackets without the sentence completely losing it's shape? I'll tell you what, whoever it was who was behind that 'Deconstructing MW blog thingy' (which called me a poor writer), well, they weren't wrong, I'm all over the place!) which therefore fulfilled the requirement for MorrisseysWorld to re-open. It is not just the blog that has reopened, but also the twitter account, so all those new followers who turned up on Boy George's say so, will now get to see what all the fuss is about....if 'fuss' is the right word!

The reason that MW has used the word *allegedly* in the title, is because although Jazmine (@JJazmineMoz) and somebody on So-low have reported that Morrissey said, "Because we must", there is no actual evidence of it, but as two separate sources reported it, there is not much doubt that it's true. Talking of doubt surrounding truths, there is also 'still' no evidence that Morrissey made the comment on stage in Hawaii about Boz making a dress change (come on '@satlu', we know you've got it recorded!). It just goes to show, Youtube is becoming the 'expert witness' in all these things, and if Youtube doesn't show it, it might not have happened! Now if Youtube had been around two thousand years ago, there would be NO disputing that old JC fed five thousand people with just five loaves and two fish....unless it happened in Tucson!

Well, it's a weekend of cricket for me, so no blog until Monday, by which time Moz would have played his last two concerts, and will be on the way home. Mozzer coming home...hmm, now there's a thought...

He's coming home
He's coming home
He's coming
Mozzer's coming home

He's coming home
He's coming home
He's coming
Mozzer's coming home

He's coming home
He's coming home
He's coming
Mozzer's coming home

He's coming home
He's coming home
He's coming
Mozzer's coming home

Everyone seems to know the score
They've read it all before
They just know, they're so sure
That Morrissey's World will soon go away
Cos it's fake anyway
But I know it will stay
Cos I remember

When Moz threw the shirt
At London Palladium
Circles 'round his eyes
At the end of Conan

So many jokes, so many sneers
From all those So-low peers
Wear you down, through the years
But I still see the tweets we were fed
And that white rose turn red
(Just as Log Lady said)
In You have Killed Me


I know that was then
But Blue Rose coming again

He's coming home
He's coming home
He's coming
Mozzer's coming home

He's coming home
He's coming home
He's coming
Mozzer's coming home

He's coming home
He's coming home
He's coming
Mozzer's coming home

He's coming home
He's coming home
He's coming
Mozzer's coming home

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Following The Mozziah Day 252 Wednesday May 23rd 2012

 Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California May 22nd (May 23rd UK time)


1. How Soon is Now?
2. You Have Killed Me
3. Alma Matters
4. You're the One For Me, Fatty
5. Shoplifters of the World Unite
6. I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris
7. When Last I Spoke To Carol
8. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
9. Everyday is Like Sunday
10. To Give (The Reason I Live)
11. Ouija Board, Ouija Board
12. Meat Is Murder
13. Let Me Kiss You
14. People Are The Same Everywhere
15. I Will See You In Far-Off Places
16. Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
17. Scandinavia
18. I Know It's Over
19. Speedway
Encore: Still Ill 

As I write this, there are only a couple of videos from last night's concert on Youtube, but they give PLENTY of information! A video of 'Still Ill', shows stage invaders, but more importantly, shows 'TWO' bass drums. Jazmine (@JJazmineMoz) had tweeted from the venue about the two drums, and pointed out straight away that she thought the pair of them together looked like 'OO', a direct 'sign' from the MorrisseysWorld blog. Morrissey has certainly not used two drums before, so IS it a sign, as Jaz thinks, or does Matt Walker just want more things to hit? The drums are 'even' lit up around the edges to 'emphasize' the 'OO' shape. Just a coincidence....WE KNOW!

   The MorrisseysWorlders who attended the concert in San Diego tweeted to say that they had had a wonderful time, but none were able to get a BLUE ROSE to Moz on his birthday. Krystal (@Its_Only_Me_K) was sat too far away, Manclad (@MancladMozfan) didn't even take one, and although Old Willoughby (@awillo9658) managed to break through security and throw hers to the stage, Moz either didn't see it, or missed it. Jazmine took TWELVE 'Blue Roses', but security would only let her take three in, and she threw one to the stage, just before the encore, but hers too was either not seen, or ignored.

A video of the concert entrance shows Moz come out and announce, "It's my party and I'll cry if I want to", which is best known as a Lesley Gore song (and a UK number 1 in the 80's for Dave Stewart & Barbara Gaskin). It has also been reported on So-low by 'CrystalGeezer', that Moz paid tribute to Bee Gee Robin Gibb, who has just passed away, and 'Geezer' also reported that there was a 'strange' reference to 'Youtube' during 'Please, Please, Please', but he/she couldn't remember the exact wording. I have written briefly about 'CrystalGeezer' before, as he/she is a regular So-low user, and major 'mocker' of MorrisseysWorld, so it is quite funny that 'Geezer' ALSO mentions, that Moz made reference to St Rita, and pointed out that she is the patron saint of LOST CAUSES, a VERY obvious reference to the MW blog, but just a coincidence.......WE KNOW!

Moz was wearing a red shirt which had a pattern on it, a pattern of..... 'ROSES', another coincidence...WE KNOW, but let me just write that one once more, MORRISSEY WORE, ON HIS BIRTHDAY, A RED SHIRT, COVERED IN FUCKING ROSES!!!
   Boz wore a black dress and Anna Karen glasses, and NO, Anna Karen is NOT the name of a famous designer! The band wore t-shirts with 'Sea world Sucks' written on them. It has been reported on both So-low and by Jazmine on twitter, that Moz at some point said, "because we must" three times. This is a DIRECT reference to an article posted on May 19th on the MW blog, headed 'THIS BLOG IS NOW CLOSED AND THE ASSOCIATED TWITTER ACCOUNT @MORRISSEYSWORLD IS NOW CLOSED', and underneath it said, 'BECAUSE WE MUST', just a coincidence...WE KNOW!
    The clues are coming thick and fast now, so SURELY the fans will start to  believe? A drum kit in the shape of 'OO', a rose shirt, a reference to the blog AND a direct quote from the MW blog, it's getting EMBARRASSINGLY obvious!

I can't report anymore at present, but will look out for further videos on Youtube to see if there are any more signs, and report tomorrow, but there 'can't' be more than FOUR SIGNS in ONE show, surely? The non believers 'HAVE' to believe soon, because rather than the MorrisseysWorlders looking the fools, it is the 'non-believers' who are starting to look silly. How many 'COINCIDENCES' do they need? They have all backed themselves into a corner by denying it for so long, and so to save face, they refuse to even discuss it. A prime example of this is a tweeter called '@MarriedToTheMoz', who REFUSES to even 'read' MorrisseysWorld, and is more concerned with interviewing people 'about' Moz and running a quiz 'about' Moz, than joining in the excitement connected to the 'actual' Moz! I don't want to make this personal, but people like 'MarriedToTheMoz' bemuse me. I have really tried to help these people see, but they just 'block me' and 'mock me'. I bear NO malice to any of those who have dismissed MW, or ridiculed me, I JUST WANT ALL Moz fans to join in the fun, but they WON'T open their eyes....IT'S BLOODY MOZ MY FRIENDS, AND YOU ARE ALL MISSING OUT!

MorrisseysWorlder JG (@loughtonlil) has posted a fantastic video on Youtube entitled 'Hitler finds out the truth about MorrisseysWorld', which has now been given it's own slot on the MW blog. Also posted on the blog is a photo of Jazmine hoding her 'Blue Rose' and an explanation from MW that it was too far away for Moz to reach. Does the fact that JG's video has been posted mean that the blog has re-opened?

Earlier today, myself and JG were chatting in the MW chatroom about the 'OO' drums and all the other 'signs', when we were joined by a mystery visitor, called 'Guest378'. The mystery person expressed their disbelief that people STILL weren't seeing the evidence, and also pointed out that as Moz gave a 'V' sign on stage in Hawaii, he has now given EVERY hand sign from the blog ('OO', 'O' and 'V') EXCEPT ONE. The only one he HASN'T yet replicated on stage is the hand 'INSIDE' the shirt onto the heart. He has replicated the hand 'ON' the heart, but not yet 'INSIDE' the shirt, so will we see this one soon? He held his heart, was during 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out', on the South American tour. KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED MORRISSEYSWORLDERS, and to all those of you who haven't previously embraced MorrisseysWorld, PLEASE join in, it's brilliant fun, and we want you along. Join us on twitter, you'll love it.

Right, I've just noticed some new videos on Youtube, so I'm off. Tonight there is a concert in Tucson, so see you tomorrow for more of the same.



Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Following The Mozziah Day 251 Tuesday May 22nd 2012

HAPPY 53rd BIRTHDAY 'OUR MOZZER' - WE JUST WANT TO SEE THE BOY....................................MAKE IT TO 54.........OR AT LEAST TO JULY 28th!

Dear 'Absent', Happy birthday, and may you enjoy your gulp of San Diego air.
   Since discovering MorrisseysWorld, I, and a (very) few others, have been like excitable teenagers, and I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for bringing so much pleasure via your blog, twitter, and through the whole MorrisseysWorld phenomenon. Your songs of course, have ALWAYS brought pleasure, but your blog and parody writing, have shown further depths to your genius, and although NOBODY could ever claim to know the real you, the whole MW experience has brought you closer to us. I know you can't stand all this sloppy praise stuff, but, well, tough, sometimes it needs to be said.  It has been a bizarre journey thus far, and it would appear there is no 'sign' of it ending anytime soon. Enjoy your concert tonight, and 'hopefully', if all goes to plan, four of the MorrisseysWorlders will be there to present you with a BLUE ROSE on behalf of us all (well three really, Manclad has tweeted to say he isn't taking one, which on past performances, is neither here nor there!).
  This week's 'Twitterdilly Chart' consists of Moz composition's ONLY, with various Twitterdilly Arms regulars, and a few other MorrisseysWorlders on twitter, choosing one each. There are of course a number of MorrisseysWorlders who don't use twitter, so if they are reading this and would like to add their favourite (favorite) in the comments section, then please do so. I would also like to invite ALL MorrisseysWorlders to send 'Our Mozzer' birthday greetings via the comments box, after all, we KNOW he reads this rubbishy old blog, don't we!
  Thank you once again 'Our Mozzer' for being you, although as we know, you had no choice, and thank you for once again for bringing such pleasure, which we also know, you never meant to!
 Happy Birthday from the Blue Rose Society - May your day be Wilde and Blue.


MorrisseysWorlder @JJazmineMoz tweeted old '@RustyRockets' today, to ask if he would re-tweet her twitter hash tag of  . MIRACULOUSLY, despite having over 4.6 million followers, Russell Brand not only noticed the tweet, but replied to it. Hmm. We now wait to see if it trends.


1. TROUBLE LOVES ME - CHOSEN BY @Heathercat222. The BLUE ROSE anthem.
2. THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT - CHOSEN BY @MorrisseysWorld & @awillo9658
3. THIS CHARMING MAN - CHOSEN BY @mancladmozfan & @cathyplus5
4. COME BACK TO CAMDEN - CHOSEN BY @GirlOnBike1102 & @aboyinthebush22
10. SCANDINAVIA - CHOSEN BY @girlwithout


13. SHAME IS THE NAME - CHOSEN BY @southkirk

14. STRETCH OUT & WAIT - CHOSEN BY @BucktoothedBoy


16. LET ME KISS YOU - CHOSEN BY @Its_Only_me_K

Following The Mozziah Day 250 Monday May 21st 2012

(The scene is set in the most luxurious bedroom suite of the best hotel on the Hawaiian island of Maui. It is early afternoon on Thursday last (May 17th). Former lead singer of eighties pop group The Smiths, 'Morrissey', is laying in bed next to his long time musical director, Martin 'Boz' Boorer. Both men are wearing 'original' seventies pyjamas, and both are wearing glasses, Morrissey's are in the 'exact' same style as Eric Morcambe's, and Boz's are the 'actual' pair worn & owned by actress Anna Karen in the 1970's. Boz is reading something on his ipad, Morrissey is on the telephone.)

MOZ: (speaking on the phone) Yes, yes alright, I'll tell Julia to take it down, but yet again, I must emphasise that it is a fan site, it is not MY website, I don't have a website, I don't even use the internet. (pause while the person on the other end of the phone is talking) 'That' is a parody website, and again, NOTHING to do with me, you people are scared of your own shadows. (pause while other person speaks) Yes of course I understand, I think the person who runs it has closed it anyway. Now, if you don't mind, I am in the middle of a very demanding tour, and I really don't want to have to think about it until July. Can I just clarify that this call is part of my fully inclusive payment package? (pause while listens to other person) Good.Goodbye. (puts down the phone receiver).

BOZ:  Who was that?

MOZ: Russells

BOZ: Mael or Brand?

MOZ: No Boz, not Russell, 'Russells', and no I don't mean a collective of Russell's, so don't go trying to be funny by asking if it was a conference call with; Meal, Brand, Grant and Potts, it was Russells, my solicitors.

BOZ: Who's Russell Potts?

MOZ: He won Britain's Got Talons.

BOZ: That was 'Paul' Potts, not Russell.

MOZ: I knew that, I was just testing you. Who's that other Russell that won something? (pauses and thinks) Watson, that's him, Russell Watson, what did 'he' win?

BOZ: He didn't win anything.

MOZ: Yes he did, oh, what was it? Mam'll remember (picks up phone and dials)

MAM: (sounding sleepy - Irish accent): Who is it?

MOZ: It's Annie Walker, who were you expecting?

MAM: Steven, it's one o'clock in the morning, what do you want?

MOZ: Well if I'd wanted to know the time mother, I'd have called the speaking clock.

MAM: Now don't you get smart with me young man, you're not too old to go across my knee, you've obviously been at the pop, so I'll leave you and your little friends to it, I'm going back to sleep.

MOZ: Sorry mam, listen, what talent contest did Russell Watson win?

MAM: Search For A Star on Piccadilly, nineteen ninety. Why?

MOZ: (looking at Boz) Search For A Star on Piccadilly you say? Thanks mam, it looks like Boz has lost 'yet' another bet.

MAM: Steven, don't you go humiliating Martin by making him wear the dresses again.

MOZ: Don't worry mam, he loves it. I'll see you later, bye. (puts down phone)

BOZ: You didn't even ask her how she was.

MOZ: She didn't ask me either.

BOZ: By the by, what did your solicitors want?

MOZ: 'By the by'? How very eloquent Boz, I 'really' do believe your use of the English language is improving on a daily basis. Russells called to tell me to take down the statement on 'True to You' about the NME's offer to apologise. They said that I shouldn't have written it, as it could be seen as prejudicing the court case. I pointed out that the website is 'not' mine, and it's just a fan site, but David at Russells says that because I use it for official statements, it could be argued that it 'is' my website, so he's advised I take it down, just to be on the safe side. God only knows why Julia took it upon herself to post the statement, I suppose I'd better call her and tell her to take it down. (looks at watch) I don't want to disturb her though, so let's leave it another half hour.

BOZ: You 'knew' you weren't allowed to post anything about the court case, you told me that months ago.

MOZ: As I say Boz, naughty Julia, but I suppose her little error 'has' allowed my fans and the whole world to see that the NME are admitting guilt. Even if I lose the court case because of the evil legal eagles twisting my every word, at least everybody will 'know' the truth, that the NME  offered to apologise, thus admitting their guilt. Their card has been marked Boz (a wry smile appears).

BOZ: (smiling and almost euphoric) You cunning fox. You're a genius Moz.

MOZ: A very overused word Boz, but on this occasion, perhaps apt, but there's no point trying to get on my good side Bozster, you've lost 'yet another' bet, so it's forfeit time.

BOZ: It wasn't even a bet Moz.

MOZ: (gets out of bed and starts to walk around) You said Russell Watson hadn't won anything, and he clearly had. I have a good mind to make you call up Mr Watson to apologise, it's lies like yours Boz that give artists like Russell and I, a bad name. Perhaps you should offer to apologise to Russell on your twitter, just like the NME have offered to apologise to me on their website thingy which nobody reads. In fact, your one thousand and forty five twitter followers is probably a larger audience than the NME's online readership. The NME shouldn't even 'be' on line, it's a newspaper for Christ's sake, at least it should be. Oh Boz, what's gone wrong with the world? It gives me with no pleasure to see that once great music paper become the non entity that it's become today, but Con Man Mc Knicker Lisp is a bigger liar than you Boz, and he 'HAS' to pay a consequence for the twenty six point two miles of shit he's dragged me through, and an online apology is NOT what I have in mind, I want his head on a plate.

BOZ: (has switched off from listening and is reading something on his ipad. He stops reading & puts down the ipad) Moz?

MOZ: (looking out of the large balcony window at the Hawaiian sea) Yes Boz?

BOZ: I've got a good idea for the show.

MOZ: There's two things wrong with that sentence Boz, a) your idea won't be good, and b) it has no place anywhere 'near' one of my shows, so may I suggest you keep it locked up securely for it's own safety?

BOZ: I think you'll like this one Moz.

MOZ: Boz, after twenty years together, you surely must have realised by now that I very rarely like 'any' idea that isn't mine, and even if I do, I have an inability to admit it anyway, so I can assure you, categorically, that this idea of yours is going nowhere.

BOZ: I think I should have a mid show dress change, I think it would add a bit of je ne sais quoi to the performances.

MOZ: (turns back from looking out to sea to face Boz) Boz, have you come up with that idea all by yourself?

BOZ: Er, yes.

MOZ: Do you know old son, I can't believe these words are actually going to push their way through my pursed lips, but (purses lips) I like it! Here's what we'll do, during 'Let Me Kiss You', I'll sing the 'close your eyes and think' line, and then pass the mic to you, and you sing the 'open eyes despise' line, which will not only be hilarious because it's 'YOU' they see when they open their eyes, but also, you can whip off the sparkly dress, (laughs out loud as he has a thought) and Boz, you're gonna love this bit, you whip off the sparkly dress to reveal Union Jack briefs, well when I say briefs, I probably mean boxers, and you then turn your back to the audience to reveal Prince Charles kissing your backside (starts laughing) , in fact, not just Prince Charles, with the size of your derriere, we can get the whole fucking family on the boxers kissing your arse. (laughs hysterically)Boz, you're a fucking genius, you were right, I 'do' like it, in fact, I 'love' it. You've made my day, now, where can we get Union Jack boxers in Hawaii?

BOZ: I was thinking more of just a dress change out back, perhaps during 'Please, Please'.

MOZ: Not enough comic value in that old son, and anyway, you deserve a double dose of pay back for this one.

BOZ: (looking bewildered) Eh?

MOZ: Does June the second ring any red, white and blue bells Boz?

BOZ: Eh?

MOZ: (tuts three times) Oh dear, just when I thought the vocabulary was on the up, we have two eh's in a row. (picks up the lap top from the bed and types something in. Then reads aloud from the laptop) 'Why not make it a full weekend of British packed fun at 'The Alliance' pub', blah, blah, blah, 'jubilee themed quiz', blah, blah, ah, here it is, 'Saturday the second of June, Boz Boorer dj and special guest band.' You're hosting a fucking jubilee weekend! Do you not read the t-shirts I put you in?, WE HATE the Royals Boz, your jubilee party will make me a laughing stock. I suppose you're running the bar-be-cue too eh? Shit, now you've got me 'eh'ing!

BOZ: (looking embarrassed) I didn't know it was a jubilee night Moz, honest! Lyn asked if I'd dj and I said yeah. I'll cancel if you want?

MOZ: (thinking) No, don't do that, I don't want Lyn on my back, but I'll tell you what we'll do, we'll have you in the 'WE HATE WILLIAM AND KATE' t-shirt, it'll sharpen the night up a bit, which let's face it, with you spinning the wheels of steel, it'll need something. I shudder to think what's on your set list, shall I choose them for you?

BOZ: (sarcastically) Oh yeah, that would be great, Nico, Jobriath and the New York Dolls is hardly what the West Hampstead locals will want to dance the night away to thanks.

MOZ: Fair enough, it's your funeral, I'll leave you to it, but don't come crying to me when the dance floor's empty. I have an instinct for an occasion Boz, and I could give you the 'perfect' set for your 'jubilee' soiree, but bollocks to you, you give 'em an evening of Boz blasters. God, I can picture it now, you 'just' won't be able to help yourself, it'll be a case of (picks up hairbrush and talks into it, as if a mic and adopts a Tony Blackburn type voice) 'and now let's step back in time with a real blast from the past, it's the Polecats with John I'm Only Dancing.'

BOZ: (looks sheepish)

MOZ: I was right, you were going to play it weren't you? Oh, fantastic, I'm half tempted to come along.

BOZ: You'd be more than welcome Moz.

MOZ: Boz, I'd rather sit and watch an empty badger set, I'll resist the urge, but thanks for the kind offer, and talking of generosity, would you like your birthday present?

BOZ: It's not my birthday yet.

MOZ: Well it nearly is in England, and you were born in England, so let's start celebrating early, crack open some tinies, by the time we walk on stage in Honolulu, I reckon we'll be slaughtered.

BOZ: This isn't like you Moz.(cracks open two beers and hands one to Moz)

MOZ: Well, you're not fifty every day big fella, and this place makes me actually feel like I'm on holiday, so let's throw caution to the wind. (takes an envelope out of a drawer and hands it to Boz) There you go.

BOZ: What is it?

MOZ: Well, as I say, it's not every day you celebrate the big five O, I've bought you an Aston Martin.

BOZ: Fucking hell Moz, I don't believe it, an Aston bloody Martin, they're over a hundred grand, I'm choked.

MOZ: And I would be too if I'd spent that sort of money, I meant I've bought you a day's hire of an Aston, I'm not 'made' of money Boz, but it wasn't cheap, it was five hundred quid. (pause) You look disappointed Boz, you mustn't let Lyn see, it was her idea, and she's paid half the money. Jesse, Matt and Solomon have all chipped in a hundred quid each too, so try and look grateful.

BOZ: That's five hundred and fifty quid between the four of them.

MOZ: Excellent maths old son, that Open University course is paying dividends I see, but let's not dwell on the expense, it's the thought that counts, and I'm sure you'll love it. Right, let's get these drinks down our necks and then go and look for those boxers, oh and Boz, can you give Julia a bell, I'd better do as I'm told.

Monday, 21 May 2012

Following The Mozziah Day 249 Sunday May 20th 2012

 Kaka'ako Waterfront Park, Honolulu, Hawaii May19th (May 20th UK time!)


1. How Soon is Now?
2. You Have Killed Me
3. Alma Matters
4. You're the One For Me, Fatty
5. I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris
6. Shoplifters of the World Unite
7. Everyday is Like Sunday
8. Ouija Board, Ouija Board
9. Speedway (+ lines from A.E.Houseman's 'Yonder See the Morning')
10. Black Cloud
11. Meat Is Murder
12. Let Me Kiss You
13. To Give (Is The Reason I Live)
14. People Are The Same Everywhere
15. I Will See You In Far-Off Places
16. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
17. Scandinavia
18. Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
19. When Last I Spoke To Carol
Encore: Still Ill AND First Of The Gang To Die

As I write this, I have not had time to watch much of the Youtube footage from the show, as I have been out at cricket all day. I fear my 'Mozziah Following' is going to be slipping a bit now that the cricket season is in full flow.

The two songs that I have managed to watch are 'Everyday Is Like Sunday' and 'Speedway'. In 'Sunday', Morrissey added the word 'fucking', before face, and then looked 'shocked', perhaps surprised at himself for letting an expletive slip out, after all, it's not often we hear Moz swear. Shortly afterwards he pulled a very authentic looking 'Elvis lip curl'. During the pause in 'Speedway' Moz recited the line 'All men have secrets and here is mine', from the song 'What Difference Does It Make', a direct reference to my interview with him on Thursday.

Now, that last statement is a complete and utter LIE, what Morrissey ACTUALLY recited was "Oh often have I washed and dressed, and what's to show for all my pain? Let me lie abed and rest: ten thousand times I've done my best, and it's all to be done again", from A.E.Houseman's 'Yonder See the Morning'. The above LIE is only the SECOND one I have told since writing this blog, the other lie being that I would never post on So-low, but then I did (although I'm now banned). The point I am trying to make, is that despite wild, ridiculous accusations from various people on So-low, twitter and MorrisseysWorld, I have NEVER lied about anything on this blog and never will. This blog is my diary, and if I were to lie, I would be lying to myself. My interview with Morrissey was REAL, everything else I have said in this blog is the truth, and for the record, since I started this blog, I have only EVER used THREE twitter accounts; @theRatsBack, @UpThePier and @ODyrbrm. I may occasionally come up with some silly theories, but this blog tells NO LIES!

I have decided I am going to try really hard NOT to mention So-low administrator Peter Finan (@UncleSkinny) ever again in my blog. The man continually makes up lies about me, would appear to be detested by Morrissey, and has used his 'power' on So-low to convince the vast majority of Morrissey fans that MorrisseysWorld is fake, thus spoiling the enjoyment they could all have shared in as the phenomenon unraveled. I think it was a REAL possibility that Morrissey was going to ban Finan from the concert in Manchester, but Finan has now tweeted to say he isn't going, because he is playing in his band instead! He is either a) lying once again, and WILL be there, but is trying to make out that he won't be, so he doesn't get banned, b) he's 'really' not going, because he thinks there is a strong reality he will get banned, and is therefore avoiding the embarrassment, or c) he doesn't want to watch Morrissey's only UK concert of the year because he doesn't 'actually' like Morrissey anymore! Whatever his reason, it would appear from the comments being left on this blog, that nobody really cares, so I will try 'really' hard to never mention him again.

So, very briefly, back to Honolulu, where Boz celebrated his birthday in his favourite sparkly blue dress, and again sported a flower in his hair.

Right, I'm off to watch the rest of the Youtube footage.

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Following The Mozziah Day 248 Saturday May 19th 2012

 Castle Theater, Kahului, The Island of Maui, Hawaii May 18th


1. How Soon is Now?
2. You Have Killed Me
3. Alma Matters
4. I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris
5. You're the One For Me, Fatty
6. Shoplifters of the World Unite
7. Everyday is Like Sunday
8. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me
9. First Of The Gang To Die
10. People Are The Same Everywhere
11. Meat Is Murder
12. Let Me Kiss You
13. To Give (Is The Reason I Live)
14. Black Cloud
15. I Will See You In Far-Off Places
16. Ouija Board, Ouija Board
17. Scandinavia
18. I Know It's Over
19. When Last I Spoke To Carol
Encore: Still Ill

Setlist courtesy of tweeter '@satlu', who tweeted the songs from the venue as they were played, and used the hashtag 'FollowingtheMozziah'....which was nice! (He/she missed out 'Shoplifters', so I have added it where I guess it was played.

There is SO much I want to write today but I have spent all of Saturday playing cricket and I am watching cricket all day Sunday, so I will have to try and catch up Monday.

Friday's concert(Saturday morning UK time) on the island of Maui sounded fantastic, although there are currently only three songs on youtube; How Soon Is Now, Shoplifters and Still Ill. There were stage invaders during both Shoplifters and Still Ill, which caused Moz to miss words and go into blah blah mode. Boz celebrated the last few hours of his forties wearing his beautiful, spangly, silver dress, and he even had a flower in his hair like a real hula girl. The band wore t-shirts with 'ACTION' written on them. During the concert, Morrissey is alleged to have said something along the lines of, 'Boz will NOT be changing his outfit, despite popular demand.' There is no evidence on Youtube that this was said, but it was reported on the MorrisseysWorld blog by somebody called Sabby. It was later confirmed on twitter by '@satlu', who has an audio recording of it, so perhaps he/she may be able to post it on youtube later. Satlu is also attending Saturday night's show in Honolulu.

The reason I draw particular reference to Moz's comment about Boz's 'outfit change' is because it is obviously a reference to my interview with him on Thursday. I am still glowing with pride at my exclusive interview, and some people have been kind enough to comment that it's one of the best interviews Morrissey has given for a while. My pleasure has unfortunately been a little dampened by those claiming that I would be sad enough to make this interview up, particularly the So-low moderator Peter Finan. I will write more about him another day (if I can be bothered), but there is too much going on at the moment to deal with this man. He has already posted on Solow today saying that the 'outfit change' reference ISN'T in reference to my blog, he really is unbelievable, how does he KNOW so much?

Unfortunately my old twitter mates Rosy Mires and Stillicling have been completely and utterly hoodwinked by Finan, and hang off his every word. When '@BozBoorer' tweeted to say 'Ban Peter Finan', both girls leapt to his defence. Stilli said Boz was shameful, and Rosy accused '@BozBoorer' of being me! At the time of Boz's tweets, I was fielding at silly mid off, in the middle of a cricket field....and thanks for asking, we WON! Rosy has now been blocked by '@BozBoorer (which is really Moz...and I love that he always makes Boz say 'Your' instead of 'You're') which obviously she won't care about, because she thinks it is me! It is so horrible to see how terribly wrong Rosy & Stilli have got all this, but at least I tried my upmost best to help them see. '@BozBoorer' went on to say, "Since Moz banned David Tseng from so low from his concerts do you think he likes Peter Finan? Crawl back under a rock PF." In response to Stilli calling Boz "shameful", Boz replied, "what's shameful? Calling for Moz to ban PF or following PF?" Boz continued on the tweet rampage a little longer, before encouraging concert goers to make the secret 'OO' or 'O' sign to Moz. The MW blog has also asked fans to make the 'OO' sign, and has once again asked for roses. MW has also closed....again, and it wasn't even open!

Before I move on, let's look at Boz's remark again, "SINCE MOZ BANNED DAVID TSENG FROM CONCERTS, DO YOU THINK HE LIKES PETER FINAN?" How can anybody, who is a GENUINE fan of Morrissey, prefer to engage with Peter Finan (who Morrissey despises), ahead of Boz/Moz? YOU COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP!

I was also saddened to see that one of the newest 'Blue Rose' members,  '@mozzerieguts' tweeted to say that my interview with Moz was fabricated. He/she even wrote,  "moz should sue for being mendacious'". Hopefully, the fact that 'Our Mozzer' has now posted part of the interview on the MW blog, should help convince 'Mozzerieguts' that the interview was 100% genuine. Great use of the word 'mendacious', almost as good as 'clandestine'.

Solow have a discussion thread for MorrisseysWorld, which i've only just discovered:  and on it, a user by the name of 'StephSteph' said that my interview wasn't real because Moz would NEVER have said the Simon Le Bon thing. It is AMAZING what people KNOW Moz would or wouldn't say!

There is lots more I would like to write, but I really, really haven't got time at the moment. I want to talk about why the mention of the 'Court case' has been removed from True To You, but I will probably put  it in a parody sketch that is half written in my head.

Happy 50th birthday Boz - We Blue Rosers love you, and not only are you a superb musician, your sense of humour has shone through in this last year, may you go on playing with Moz for many, many years to come.


Ps I haven't even got time to prrof read this, so apoigies fro any mistokes.

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