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Thursday, 17 May 2012

Following the Mozziah Day 246 Thursday May 17th 2012

The other day on twitter, Loughton Lil asked me if I felt the need to actually meet Morrissey, and without hesitation I answered no. He agreed. In truth, we've already met him, and the interaction we have had with him over these past eight months has been worth far more than a physical meeting could ever hope to yield. I have met many famous people over the years, mainly through working in radio, and although most have been very pleasant, none are anywhere near as interesting as Morrissey, but then again, they wouldn't be, would they!

Although I feel no need to meet Morrissey (and I have touched his knee on stage, so that sort of constitutes a meeting anyway), I have always hankered a desire to interview him, and ask him the questions that 'I' have always wished others would ask. When I woke up this morning, it suddenly dawned on me that I have the perfect platform to interview Morrissey, he reads my blog, so today, I have decided to ask him some questions, and hope that he will put his answers in the comments section. If he does, I will type the interview out in full and post it. What would So-low do if somebody posted it there? They would no doubt regard it as a 'fake', but it would certainly be interesting to see the reaction. Moz may not answer of course, but you never know, I may get some really open, informative answers, so here goes:

1. You are currently in Hawaii, a) Is it how you imagined?, and B) were you influenced to go there because of the Elvis films, or was it 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' ?

2. You've been touring for a long time now, do you still feel the same desire to perform, or are the endless flights and hotels getting to you?

3. You and the band certainly seem to be having fun on stage, can you explain 'why' Boz has adopted the dresses and 'why' do the band often go topless?

4. It's been noted that during shows, as you sweat, a 'heart shape' appears on your back, how do you do that, does Boz spray deodorant over you beforehand?

5. You actually change your shirt two or three times during each show, have you considered Boz having a mid show dress change, to add a bit of Je ne sais quoi to the performances?

6. It is your 53rd birthday next week, and you look in fantastic nick....for a man of your age. Are you comfortable with how you look, and would you ever consider a 'Rooneyesque weave' if your infamous quiff goes awol?

7. And talking about birthdays, how did you celebrate (?) your 13th, 23rd, 33rd and 43rd birthdays, and how did you feel at each of those ages?

8. Your setlists always include a number of Smiths songs, do you purposely look to include a certain number of them, or do you see all your songs as being from one big catalogue, and not give any thought as to who wrote the music?

9. You have recently stated (yet again) that you dislike 'What Difference Does It Make', but for many of us, it is 'the' song that led us to you. Do you 'ever' think you will fall back in love with it? Is there any chance of us 'ever' seeing you perform it again?

10. In recent concerts, you have recited lines from two Don McLean songs during the pause in 'Speedway' and also lines from Houseman's 'The Welsh Marches', why these particular quotes?

11. At this moment in time, and obviously it changes, what are your top 3 songs of all time and your top 3 Moz written songs?

12. You are rarely asked about your record collection, and I'd LOVE to know, so please answer honestly, how many 7 inch singles are in your collection, how many albums, and how do you store them; alphabetically, by date, or another method?

13. As you always seem to be on the road, where do you call home these days, ie, where is the aforementioned record collection kept?

14. Talking of records, are you any closer to a record deal, or are all talks dead?

15. We fans are desperate to buy the half dozen songs you've showcased, would you ever consider just releasing digitally, or signing to a small independent label?

16. Have you written any new songs lately, and if yes, will you be playing them live?

17. And what's happening with the autobiography?

18. All seems to have gone quiet on the NME court case, is it still going ahead, and if so, when?

19. Why have you decided to just play one UK show this year, and can we expect anything special in Manchester?

20. I'm not going to ask you about MorrisseysWorld, because I don't need to, but anybody can see that you have accepted just two flowers on stage in the last year, and both were roses, do you have a particular love for roses?

21. Thank you for answering my questions, can I have an exclusive? Nobody will believe this interview is real, so you're quite safe.

14 comments:

  1. Love the questions Rat! Let's live in hope that we get at least some answers!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well I would certainly love to meet Morrissey, no question
    about that.
    Your questions are great Rats and very varied, so I really hope that you get a few answers at the very least.

    Bon chance !

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1. You are currently in Hawaii, a) Is it how you imagined?, and B) were you influenced to go there because of the Elvis films, or was it 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' ?

    a) When I close my eyes I can't imagine anything except melody and hooks; and many would no doubt add that that's debatable. My poverty of imagination for all things material leaves me bowled over by each sojourn into far-flung places. As I grow older and absolute senility creeps ever closer, it feels more miraculous by the day that I exist at all; that places as mesmerising as Hawaii exist too is just... breathtaking.

    Satisfaction is enjoyment minus expectations. My expectations are now so low that even my life is capable of satisfying me.

    b) It was Dr Jacoby and his Hawaiian wife. You should know that.

    2. You've been touring for a long time now, do you still feel the same desire to perform, or are the endless flights and hotels getting to you?

    Only seals... and 'yes.'

    3. You and the band certainly seem to be having fun on stage, can you explain 'why' Boz has adopted the dresses and 'why' do the band often go topless?

    As a band we feel it's very important to glamorise girls who wear 'Plus Size Clothing.' The media obsession with waifs is becoming oppressive: in 2012, anyone older than thirty-three or larger than Victoria Beckham around the waist has no right to be seen in public. The fact that Boz is currently sponsored by Evans Clothing and we as a band are sponsored by Caramac is neither here nor there.


    4. It's been noted that during shows, as you sweat, a 'heart shape' appears on your back, how do you do that, does Boz spray deodorant over you beforehand?

    I don't know where these rumours spring from. I shall have to start padlocking my dressing room door.


    5. You actually change your shirt two or three times during each show, have you considered Boz having a mid show dress change, to add a bit of Je ne sais quoi to the performances?

    This is an excellent idea. Keep your eyes peeled.

    6. It is your 53rd birthday next week, and you look in fantastic nick....for a man of your age. Are you comfortable with how you look, and would you ever consider a 'Rooneyesque weave' if your infamous quiff goes awol?

    As I approach my very late forties, I realise more with each passing day how very fortunate I was in my twenties and thirties. I didn't go bald, nor did I look like a forty-two year old Foetus born in close proximity to the Sellafield reprocessing plant, wearing a fetching brown toupe. Sadly I do now, of course. But we can't have everything we crave. If we could, I would have ceased to exist over two decades ago.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 7. And talking about birthdays, how did you celebrate (?) your 13th, 23rd, 33rd and 43rd birthdays, and how did you feel at each of those ages?

    13th - a large cake with 13 candles. Appalled.

    23rd - a small cupcake with a solitary candle. Anguished.

    33rd - a currant bun. Afflicted.

    43rd - a slither of lemon Turkish Delight. Apathetic.

    53rd - a gulp of San Diego air? Absent?

    8. Your setlists always include a number of Smiths songs, do you purposely look to include a certain number of them, or do you see all your songs as being from one big catalogue, and not give any thought as to who wrote the music?

    If we were face to face, I would probably roll my eyes and give the same answer I usually give at this juncture. As we are not, I shall simply say, 'no,' 'yes' and 'no.'

    9. You have recently stated (yet again) that you dislike 'What Difference Does It Make', but for many of us, it is 'the' song that led us to you. Do you 'ever' think you will fall back in love with it? Is there any chance of us 'ever' seeing you perform it again?

    'What Difference Does It Make' is musically interesting but lyrically it very... Simon Le Bon. I find the lyrics facile and midly embarrassing. Otherwise it's a majestic pop melody by Johnny and, ironically, had the lyrics indeed been penned by Simon Le Bon, I would probably cover it! As it is I'd feel too ashamed. I might sing it during the pause in 'Speedway-'

    10. In recent concerts, you have recited lines from two Don McLean songs during the pause in 'Speedway' and also lines from Houseman's 'The Welsh Marches', why these particular quotes?

    I would like to say more but I can't and so I'll say less.

    11. At this moment in time, and obviously it changes, what are your top 3 songs of all time and your top 3 Moz written songs?

    Avoiding the first question entirely:
    1 There is a light that never goes out
    2 First of the gang to die
    3 Everyday is like sunday

    They will change tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 12. You are rarely asked about your record collection, and I'd LOVE to know, so please answer honestly, how many 7 inch singles are in your collection, how many albums, and how do you store them; alphabetically, by date, or another method?

    I own literally thousands of records. Most of them are stored in large banana leaf coffins in the basement of a large house and are not touched from one decade to the next. They will be buried with me - or rather, I shall be buried with them.

    13. As you always seem to be on the road, where do you call home these days, ie, where is the aforementioned record collection kept?

    Home is a question mark.

    14. Talking of records, are you any closer to a record deal, or are all talks dead?

    There will be an announcement of 'My World' quite soon.

    15. We fans are desperate to buy the half dozen songs you've showcased, would you ever consider just releasing digitally, or signing to a small independent label?

    As I tweeted, finding one of my albums in the local newsagent taped on to the front of the Sunday Mail is probably my biggest nightmare. Releasing it electronically would be a close second. The third option is now my only hope.

    16. Have you written any new songs lately, and if yes, will you be playing them live?

    Boredom is a plague, The tyranny of tedium, My world. Possibly. We hope to have a new song in the set by Manchester.

    17. And what's happening with the autobiography?

    Coming to a pulping unit near you soon.

    18. All seems to have gone quiet on the NME court case, is it still going ahead, and if so, when?

    ...

    19. Why have you decided to just play one UK show this year, and can we expect anything special in Manchester?

    We had a debate about one off concerts in two countries. The first is scheduled and the second will probably happen in the near future.

    20. I'm not going to ask you about MorrisseysWorld, because I don't need to, but anybody can see that you have accepted just two flowers on stage in the last year, and both were roses, do you have a particular love for roses?

    I love flowers and Oscar Wilde dearly adored roses. This is enough.

    21. Thank you for answering my questions, can I have an exclusive? Nobody will believe this interview is real, so you're quite safe.

    Thank you for asking your questions. Nobody will believe it's real, and indeed it isn't real. And neither am I.

    typed in by 'R,' dictated by Our Mozzer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear 'Our Mozzer', thank you very much, I have a warm, satisfying glow. The lemon turkish delight sounds most pleasant. I shall watch all future Speedway pauses with baited breath.
      TRB

      Delete
  6. Apart from the Morrissey underwear that I received today, this blog post is my dearest birthday present!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mr. Ratty, this might be your best blog yet--especially the answers to your questions

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  8. Excellent , excellent and even traces of excellence.

    Many thanks to Our Mozzer for answering these questions for Our Ratty.

    Some enticing things here:

    - possible new song by Manchester
    - possible new one-off concert (Ireland?)
    - possible change of costume by Our Bozzer
    - lips sealed on the NME which is precisely as it should be
    - some coyness about Don McLean's lyrics, so more to reveal?

    Possibly your finest moment Ratskins. I WILL buy you a beer at Manchester.

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a marvelous, spectacular, fabulous, awesome, post today!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Well, there's Our Mozzer......
    Great questions and great answers! Please come back to twitter; we miss ya!

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  11. This is a true gem thanks to you both Rats & Our Mozzer.

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  12. Cheers! A virtual bottle of champagne for you and Our Mozzer! Which you prefer: Veuve Clicot or Royal? A Magnum one, of course!

    ReplyDelete

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