DR MARK: Now! The artery that is completely blocked is too small for a stent, and as it's now blocked off, we may as well leave it, but the other two need sorting A.S.A.P.
DR HUGH GRIFFITHS
DR G: Hi, I'm Dr Griffiths, let's get the radio on, and then we can get started.
(Heart fm is turned on, yes, REALLY, and Dr Griffiths re-enters the groin artery hole left by Dr Mark. TRB is given a slight sedative. Ten minutes later, 'Down Under' by Men At Work comes on the radio.)
AUSSIE NURSE: YES!
DR G: You only like it because it's one of only two songs to come out of Australia. (singing) Lying in a den in Brussels. (stops singing) Oh, wrong verse.
DR G: That's it, you're showing your age. What music do you like?
DR G: God, he's a bit depressing isn't he? (NOTE FROM EDITOR: Being a Morrissey fan, the 'depressing' thing is thrown at us time and time again. Normally I argue MOST vehemently about how Morrissey is not in the slightest bit depressing, but is both humourous and uplifting. At approximately 2.45pm on Tues Sept 18th, under a sedative, and lying on an operating table having heart surgery, I decided not to bother!)
TRB: He's better than this. ('Groove Is In The Heart' by Deee Lite comes on.)
DR G: (singing) Groove is in the heart.
TRB: (singing) Griffiths in my heart. (laughter from nurses and operating doctor).
(Various other bland songs come and go, with Dr G singing while he works. 'Only You' by Yazoo comes on).
TRB: (singing) Only Hugh. (More laughter from theatre staff)
DR G: Right, keep VERY still. No heavy breathing, coughing, singing, or sudden movements, this is the vital part, I'm entering your heart.
TRB: (shuts up)
(At 3.15pm, TRB is wheeled out of theatre, with two new stents.)
TRB: Thank you all very much, you have saved my life (starts applauding).
The End...although luckily, not!
THE BLUE ROSE TOP 10 - WEEK BEGINNING SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 16TH 2012
DEATH IS DENIED THE TOP SPOT BY A STRONG BEATING HEART