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Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Day 378 - Two Little Boys

I quite often find that my brain is at it's most active just before I wake up in the morning, and this morning it was especially active, with a brilliant re-working of an old song shooting into my head. The song has the potential to be a massive You Tube hit, it just needs somebody to bother recording it, so if anybody reading this has the inclination, then help yourself. If would work best if the person singing it is elderly and posh. (If you can't be bothered to read it, my Moz findings are at the bottom of the page).

It is a modern day version of Rolf Harris's Two Little Boys, written to reflect the attitude of modern Britain or America:

(Verse 1 - Sung in a posh voice)

Two little boys had two little toys
Each had a wrap of horse
Daily they scored each summer's day
Smack heads both of course
One little chav then had a mishap
Got nicked and went away
Wept for his gear and lived in fear
Until a new cellmate came

(Chorus 1 - Sung with an urban street voice)

Did yer fink I would leave you sweating
I've got horse up my arse for two
Let's shoot up 'ere, Jack now don't be snivelling
I 'ave also got blow and glue
When we grow up we'll both be dealerz
We'll have pit bulls and hoes for joy
And I wonder if we'll remember
When we woz two little boyz

(Verse 2 - posh voice)

Long years past, let out at last
Hoods up, they dealt away
Guns shot out, a gangland shoot out
Wounded and dying lay
Up goes a shout, a Hummer screeches out
Out from the local crew
Drives away, to where Joe lay
Then came a voice he knew

(Chorus 2 - urban voice)

I'm afraid I must leave you dying
Dare's no room in me whip for you
Stay down dare Joe, I hear the sirens
I must go or they'll bag me too
Did you say Joe I'm all a tremble, perhaps it's the siren's noize
But I think it's the drugs we did bruv, when we woz two little boys

(Chorus 3 - urban voice)

I'm afraid I must leave you dying
Dare's no room in me whip for you
Stay down dare Joe, I hear the sirens
I must go or they'll bag me too
Can you see Joe I'm all a tremble, perhaps it's the siren's noize
But I think it's the drugs we did bruv, when we woz two little boys

Anyway, enough of my lyrical genius, back to Moz. There would appear to have been no Superhero antics in book stores yesterday, although the incident from Sunday with the fainting old lady WAS apparently true, and has been reported on various internet sites. It would appear that Morrissey was on his own, browsing through the old photography section, when the woman lost her senses and fell to the floor. Our hero knelt down next to the woman, and offered to get her a glass of water or to call for help, but apparently she declined. Moz is also reported to have picked up the lady's stray belongings. She is alleged to have stroked his cheek as a way of thanks, and went on her way, not knowing who her saviour was, as did Moz (go on his way that is, he knows of course who he is!).


Yesterday, it was reported on Twitter that Morrissey visited 'Second Hand Rose Records', a record shop in Greenwich Village. It looks like a great shop, and I'm gutted that I didn't find it when I was in New York. It wasn't reported if a purchase was made.


The tweeter who reported the sighting in the resord shop was '@EmanuelleMiller', who stated, "Am pretty sure I just saw Morrissey and an unknown petite dark haired gal exit Second Hand Rose Records in Greenwich Village NYC. Sweeet!" Emanuelle later added, "I was behind them on the sidewalk as they were leaving the store. They got into a car that was waiting by the curb." So, who was the mystery woman? Could Moz have been out and about with True-To-You owner, Julia Riley?


I am slightly concerned that my reporting of Morrissey out and about in New York, is bordering on stalking. I started this blog (a year ago tomorrow by the way) as a way of showing my excitement at discovering MorrisseysWorld, but have I now gone too far? Is it time to stop this blog, or should I perhaps just write something when it is relevant to either MW or the Blue Rose Society? I DON'T want to be an internet stalker, and Morrissey shopping with a friend is a private affair, ISN'T IT? Maybe I should only write about such things in parody form. Please let me know your thoughts.

Morrissey has given two interviews by email in recent days (which reminds me, Our Mozzer HASN'T yet answered the rest of MY interview questions *coughs politely*), and there is some brilliantly witty Mozzisms. The first interview is with, and has the following brilliance:

ABOUT OTHERS: "It's not my business to make anyone else's life worse, although, God knows, I've tried."

ON ARTISTS: "At first you acknowledge that the artist's view is wider than your own, otherwise you would not be entranced by them. The second stage is normal despondency because they haven't actually noticed you on a personal level. The third stage is assassination. It all amounts to a particularly poor form of love." This surely is aimed at Morrissey's misguided 'fans' on Solow?

ON NEW DRUMMER ANTHONY BURULCICH: "Yes, he's good with his fists...and I don't just mean as a drummer. This helps when you're in the Morrissey Band because small kids tend to pick on you...with legitimate reason." Hahahahaha

ON BOSTON: "I have no interest in Boston's history. Just get me to a bar with an Internet jukebox." Is this a reference to The Twitterdilly Arms?

ALSO ON BOSTON: "Fifty years ago, I did a signing at the old Tower Records for the album Vauxhall and I. We were five blocks away from the store and already we were passing the queue. I couldn't believe it. I said, 'Those people are queueing for me?" I started crying. I expected 22 people at most."  Rosy Mires tweeted to say that the mention of "22 people" could be 'a sign'. She pointed out that I had written about 22 followers on Day 70 of my blog. God knows how she remembered that, I had long since forgotten. Personally, I don't think it's 'a sign', I think it's a genuine coincidence, but tomorrow I shall be blogging more about signs, and I shall also be looking at that 'original 22', to see where they stand now on MorrisseysWorld.


The other Morrissey interview to surface is with the Australian It's a really good interview, but this blog entry of mine has now gone on for far too long, so I shall go through it in detail tomorrow.

Moz Factor continues to go well in The Twitterdilly Arms, and it would appear that Heather Cat has discovered a future star, by the name of Erin Merle Wallace (@ErinMerle). Her versions of 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out' and 'Why Don't You Find Out For Yourself' are beautiful, but her version of Sparks 'I Married Myself' is even better. Watch next Tuesday's chart at 12.45pm on twitter with @UpThePier to see if Erin makes the big time.

Finally Esther, it has today been announced that the singer Andy Williams has died. I grew up listening to Williams because my mum was a huge fan. We used to always watch the Andy Williams Show, and I used to love the cookie monster. Andy Williams's song 'So Little Time' featured in The Blue Rose/ Twitterdilly Arms Top 10 just two weeks ago. The lyrics now seem so VERY apt for Andy.

*Goes off singing* So little time to let you know, how much I love you, so little time, to let you know how much I care, and though I try to make believe this love of ours will last forever, it's just my heart that I deceive, because I know, oh yes I know, this sad old world, when we are gone, will go on spinning, these very stars, when we are gone, will shine as bright, so hold me in your arms until tomorrow, for there's so little time, so little time, tonight.



  1. Afternoon me old Ratty.

    Firstly, nice twist on Rolf - I, of course, am old and posh and so could offer to perform it but we would run into the age-old question of royalties and there's been enough of that sort of stuff in Mozland.

    Reporting on Moz out shopping is interesting but is also a form of stalking. Up to you whether you want to do it or not.

    My old dear also was a huge Andy fan and I remember buying her an LP called "Raindrops keep falling on my head" for Christmas 1970 which I listened to when nobody was around and absolutely loved it. I must say a felt a bit sad when I read that he'd reached the end of the groove.

    Thanks for a fantastic year of blogging.

  2. Great to 'see' you JG! Ratty, I already checked out the 22 and can't believe how many have fallen by the wayside! Looking forward to your blog tomoz! It's the glue that holds us together in Our Mozzer's absence.

  3. You pose an interesting question rats & I don't think you are a stalker.
    However I do wonder how Morrissey feels knowing his private life has been documented. Whilst in essence the original tweet wasn't harmful, I feel it could be argued it is an invasion of Morrissey's privacy.
    I base this on how I would feel, as a private person myself.
    Only Morrissey can really answer your question rats.

    Anyway a cracking read & I love the pictures, especially of Mother Teresa!

  4. I don't feel that you are a Morrissey stalker Rats for reporting what is in the public domain. However you did follow up the tweet about Morrissey and his friend in the Second Hand Rose Record shop by replying to the tweeter and asking if he bought anything. Now that could be overstepping the mark......
    I also thought that the female friend could be Julia Riley -
    lucky woman ! I remember the Tour Tombola with Julia from the Morrissey's World blog - so funny.
    The two new interviews with Our Mozzer were very entertaining and tongue in cheek as ever.
    I shall look forward to your story about the ' 22 ' tomorrow.
    Finally I was sad to hear the news of the passing of Andy Williams
    who had a very distinctive and sweet voice.He gave pleasure to millions down the years, may he now rest in peace.
    Love the photos today !

  5. damn you rat, i had put rolf to the back of my was 1974 i was playing truant and as manchester was dull and boring back then the choice was piccadilly or the airport, today it was the airport, my mate decided to nick some chewing gum in a bright yellow wrapper going by the name of juicy fruit, we sat in the cafe and up he walked with a paedo smile greeting us like long lost brothers with a, hi boys, no school ? anyway he sat with us for a while and when i asked for his autograph he picked up some paper and instead of his name he scribbled a picture of himself, always liked rolf after for manchesters finest, two schoolboys in school uniform with police all around, but not one of them asked what we were doing.. guess what song rolf sang for us

  6. Thank you Manc for making me laugh and giving me a coughing fit before I go to bed.
    What a delightful story about Rolf, although I am not sure he
    would like to be remembered as having a ' paedo ' smile.
    Is that libellous ?
    Perhaps you should consider writing your autobiography as well !!

  7. Appears a lot of people are having Andy Williams flash backs today. For me mine also includes my mother. One of the things I bought with money earned from my first job was an 'Andy Williams Sings My Fair Lady' LP for her as she was a fan of his and Broadway shows. Not sure if it was an unselfish gesture on my part as I also liked his music and the family was getting tired of mom playing her 'South Pacific' LP continuously. But it worked favorably as I gained points with her and we got to listen to something different. She'd play her LP's as she did her housework and I'd listen and in my head make up stories as to what the musicals were about. I was very surprised when I finally did get to see the musicals that I was so far off. As for stalking Moz I don't think it is as you are just reporting what you have read from others. If you were watching him from the bushes with a spy glass that probably would be--unless you had good reason to be there. Please continue writing your blog: parody, moz updates, your adventures/ideas--all are enjoyable. And Andy Williams RIP

  8. The latest interviews are indeed full of notable responses. Another great quote from the Phoenix interview: "Accepting a Grammy is like accepting a voodoo doll... It will kill you." I also found it interesting when he said that everything that has been written about him is misleading, implying that no one in the general public has any understanding of him at all. This reminded me of the MW blog saying that it's a parody of the media's portrayal of him.

  9. I've never heard the Rolf song before but your version Rat hits a little too close to home for me than you could ever imagine, sad isn't it lol.
    I think you have to ask yourself if in the absence of MW do you go on reporting morrissey related news? I personally enjoy reading about the various places morrissey goes, Now i have 2 new desitinations to go to should I have a chance to visit New York Again.
    Did you catch the "essence of lonliness" line from the Aussie interview? It sounded very similar to the MW Essay on lonliness.
    Maybe thats just me? I dunno.
    Aslo I think Lonely Day should be featured in the upcoming countdown, It merits a spot even if it is on the bottom.
    What is the longest amount of time that Our Mozzer has been away?

  10. If we're clutching at straws looking for clues (and I am), I thought the "bar with an internet jukebox" was a good one - why on earth would anybody come out with that one? Defo Twit Arms.

    Also the voodoo doll - I remember a funny conversation on Twit with MW about creating a Moz voodoo doll with flexible limbs so that the foot could be put in the mouth more easily.

    1. Thanks for reminding us about the voodoo doll conversation - it was very funny. Didn't he say a voodoo doll would be included in upcoming tour merchandise? :))

  11. Hello Rat! Of course you got to keep on writing this blog, no doubt! The Tour is going to start and I need to read your review even if just by footage! Also I enjoy with your porody story and all your thought about Moz or music scene! Reporting a tweet about Moz shopping in a record store is not like stalking, a woman saw him just for a lucky coicidence and tweeted,just like the young boy in Feltrinelli Library he was brave enough to asking for a pic and Morrissey said yes, what's wrong with it? The boy did'nt force Morrissey for the photo as the girl did'nt write something malicious just reported a fact! So keep on writing dear Rat, cheers!
    P.S. Rosy surprised me with her memory! I checked your 70 day post, oh I'm one of the 22, and I'm still here!

  12. I completely agree with Romina's comments about Rat continuing his blog and the stalking issue. Also, I just wanted to add that the description of Moz's female companion at the record store made me think of Kristeen Young.


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