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Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Day 406 - Lord Of The Whys Part 1

The 'World of Morrissey' is a desert island, occupied solely by Morrissey and his fans, living in isolation, away from the real world. Before you start conjouring pictures in your mind of a tropical paradise, I should add that the island is often a bleak place, with a constant grey mist hanging in the air. The island has even been nicknamed 'Black Cloud', but none of the inhabitants would appear to want to be rescued, they are generally happy to be discontent. Despite their moans and groans, they like their little island, but they don't all live in harmony, there are many different factions. The only thing that they all have in common is Morrissey, the light that never goes out.

1982 - THE INHABITANTS OF BLACK CLOUD ISLAND START TO BUILD 'MORRISSEY', THEIR LIGHT THAT WILL NEVER GO OUT - THE INHABITANTS ARE "HAPPY TO BE DISCONTENT".


The inhabitants of the island regard Morrissey as a god, an almost mythological Mozziah. It is not known where Morrissey lives on the island, although a few years ago, he did reside in a remote cave, up in the hills, but a number of the hispanic community found Morrissey's cave, and started camping outside it, so he was forced to move.


THE MEXICAN FANS OUTSIDE MORRISSEY'S FORMER HILLTOP DWELLING


Initially, each inhabitant of the island kept themselves to themselves, mainly as isolated lost souls, but over the years, communities have emerged. The hispanic community is just one of the groups, but there are others, with one of the largest being a group known as Solow, initially set up by the bespectacled David Tze Tze, but now run under the dictatorship of the notorious Skin, with Tze Tze kept in the background.


DAVID TZE TZE AND SKIN OF THE SOLOW FACTION

The only time The Mozziah is seen, is when he comes out of hiding, and sings at different places around the 'World of Morrissey'. Only a couple of thousand, of the many hundreds of thousands of inhabitants, are able to watch each performance, but the ones who DO watch, return to their communities with tales of wonder and excitement. Some write about their experiences, while others share videos on the recently invented YouTube. Gifts and flowers are often taken for Morrissey, and the attendees in the front rows stretch out their hands, hoping to be touched by The Mozziah. Some even risk 'death by security', by leaping onto the stage to embrace him.


INHABITANTS OF BLACK CLOUD ISLAND SEEK THE TOUCH OF THE MOZZIAH


In the winter of 2009, Morrissey decided that the time had come to emerge from his cave, and to mix with his subjects. He put on a disguise, and set off down the hill, but as he approached one of the communities, Morrissey's feet became cold, so he hot footed it back up the hill and into the comfort and safety of his cave, where he dressed as Diana Dors and sat listening to New York Dolls records for the next eighteen months as he plotted his next move.


MORRISSEY IN HIS CAVE LISTENING TO THE DOLLS

On May 1st 2011, Morrissey was finally ready. He once again donned a disguise, and set off, back down the desolate hillside. He adopted the pseudonym 'Our Mozzer' and mingled amongst the island's inhabitants. For two weeks Our Mozzer wandered around, but nobody even noticed him. He decided to draw attention to himself, so he entered the 'True To You Chapel Of The Latter Day Mozziah', and scrawled on the wall (in rather child like writing) "Morrissey would like it known that Our Mozzer is a fake." As very few people had any clue as to who Our Mozzer was, the message was largely ignored, although a small few took it upon themselves to keep an eye on the new kid in town.


THE TRUE TO YOU CHAPEL OF THE LATTER DAY MOZZIAH


Our Mozzer returned to his cave, and spent June and July being plain old Morrissey again, with the only highlights of his life being bitten by a dog, and kicking Tze Tze out of a concert. A number of the Solow community discussed Our Mozzer, and most came to the conclusion that he was DEFINITELY NOT Morrissey, but an impostor.


MORRISSEY OR OUR MOZZER?



On August 3rd, Our Mozzer slipped back down the mountain, and started walking around the island, gibbering about Justin Bieber. Most people continued to ignore him, but some started to push him, spit at him, and call him names.

The following day, Our Mozzer was found muttering to himself that HE was Morrissey, and he announced, to anybody who would listen, that he would be stripping to the waist at his next concert to prove it. The people who heard this laughed, but four days later, Morrissey walked out on stage with a Justin Bieber quote as his opening gambit, and at the end of the concert he stripped to the waist.


MORRISSEY HANGS HIS HEAD AFTER STRIPPING - THE GAME IS UP


As those who had attended the concert returned back to their respective communities, word started to spread around the island that Our Mozzer's prophecy had come true. The Solow community didn't like it, they had already been clever enough to dismiss Our Mozzer as a fraud, they couldn't understand what was happening, but they weren't going to back down now, so they started to ridicule Our Mozzer, and called for him to be silenced. They dawbed 'Our Mozzer Go To Rome' all over the walls of the Solow temple.


THE SOLOW TEMPLE - AN ALTERNATIVE TO THE TRUE TO YOU CHAPEL OF THE LATTER DAY MOZZIAH


Back in his cave, Morrissey was shocked that the masses hadn't realised that Our Mozzer was indeed him. He lay back in his bath, licked his top lip, and a smirk appeared on his face. He decided it was time to have some REAL fun.

To Be Continued Tomorrow.

6 comments:


  1. I love your blog today Rats.
    It is so funny, but also accurate and
    the photos go very well with what you have
    written.
    I can't wait for Part Two !!

    The only other thing I would like to say
    is ' Anonymous + semi colon. '
    Go figure as I believe they say in the USA !

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  2. This is brilliant - thank you, Rats. Eagerly looking forward to the continuation...

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  3. hi Rat, truly brilliant! Thank you for calling David as I do, I'm very proud!

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  4. Bravo rats, a great read & I love your choice of pictures. As Lizzy says they compliment your words perfectly.

    I hope you are feeling better. :-)

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    1. Hope you are feeling better. Enjoyed your blog today, the the pictures really compliment the writing. Been showing the granddaughter the pictures of you. She felt bad for you when she saw the one of how ill you were, as she too has been ill with the same symptoms, took me awhile to realize because of the miles, you and she could not have picked it up from the same source. she is doing better today. She also liked the one of you being flung off the pier. Actually she laughed and we had a spirited conversation as how in Atlantic City, NJ at the Steel Pier there used to be a horse going off the pier--until animal groups stopped it. I liked the Morrissey Island section today, by coincidence, my cousin has recently been sending pictures on FB of the Isle that our ancestors came from and I had just changed my twitter back drop to one of them. Why he has all these pictures, I do not know as he lives in Illinois. Another coincidence, Pandora radio, just played 'Light That Never Goes Out' which to me is Moz.

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  5. This is one of my favourites blogs ever... maybe only second to 'Day 401 - Our Mozzer, The Special One' I believe. I hope you felt well enough when writing part 2.

    - Regi

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