Total Pageviews

Monday, 29 October 2012

Day 411 - Lord Of The Whys Part 5

With Morrissey in-between tours, he started to spend more and more time in his Parody Nights club, disguised as Our Mozzer, and surrounded by his small, but loyal crowd of regulars.

Parody Nights was still largely undiscovered by the hundreds of thousands who inhabited Black Cloud Island, and the majority of those who DID know the club was there, shunned it, preferring instead to visit the Solow Temple and The True To You Chapel Of The Latter Day Mozziah to heap their worship on Morrissey.

RELAXING IN PARODY NIGHTS JAN 2012 - L TO R: OUR MOZZER, CLINGSTER, ROSY, EARS, LOUGHTON LIL AND CATHY (NOTE SKIN WAITING IN THE BACKGROUND)


In the early months of 2012, Our Mozzer kept himself busy in the bar, and one night he even got up on stage to perform an impromptu version of a song he'd written, called 'Boredom Is A Plague.' To the onlookers, the person on the stage LOOKED like Morrissey, and SOUNDED like Morrissey, but they STILL couldn't be 100% sure.


'EARS' STARES CLOSELY, BUT 'IS' SHE STARING AT MORRISSEY OR NOT?

On January 16th, Our Mozzer was drying up some glasses in Parody Nights, when he noticed a sad figure slumped on a table. Our Mozzer enquired as to what was wrong, and was told by Frankie Lemapach, that she had travelled to Parody Nights from the Argentinian part of Black Cloud Island, and was desperate for Morrissey to go there and sing. Our Mozzer gave Frankie a knowing look, and said, "Perhaps I shall." Frankie pondered to herself, was this mere mortal, who ran a two bit parody club, in the middle of nowhere REALLY the Mozziah? It COULDN'T be, SURELY?


ARGENTINIAN FRANKIE LEMAPACH IS MADE A PROMISE BY OUR MOZZER


Four days later, Sister Julie announced to a packed 'True To You Chapel Of the Latter Day Mozziah', that Morrissey would soon be playing in Argentina.

With every COINCIDENCE, a few more people would arrive in the Parody Nights club, convinced that Our Mozzer was really Morrissey. The likes of Old Willoughby, Fancy and Monti were all regulars by now, and the likes of Poetic Moz and Moz Addict, who had been there from the very start, continued to lurk and watch, but STILL the vast majority of Black Cloud Island remained oblivious to Our Mozzer. 'Drag Boz' arrived to help out in Parody Nights, and as January came to a close, Our Mozzer decided that as a collective group, the regulars of Parody Nights would be known as the 'Blue Rose Society'.


JAN 2012 - DRAG BOZ APPEARS IN PARODY NIGHTS AND THE BLUE ROSE SOCIETY IS BORN

The beginning of February saw Lizzy Cat pack her suitcase, and LEAVE the Twitterdilly Arms, she had fallen victim to the evil Walter Ego, who continued to enter both the Parody Nights club and the Twitterdilly Arms, telling the residents that they were being taken for fools by a cheap impostor. It was too much for Lizzy, she believed Ego, and decided that the not knowing was just too much to bear. Rosy and Amor were also starting to question their belief.

Despite all the self deprecating from Our Mozzer, that NOBODY visited his club, secretly he was pleased that Parody Nights remained a secret, and he employed the likes of Ego, to keep everybody off the scent.


WALTER EGO INFORMS ANYBODY WHO WILL LISTEN, THAT OUR MOZZER IS A FRAUD

In mid February, at the request of the regulars, Our Mozzer fitted a brand new giant tv screen in the Parody Nights club, in preparation for Morrissey's Vina del Mar concert. As the locals sat around chatting, Our Mozzer flicked on the giant tv screen, to see if it was working, and up flashed breaking news that an American celebrity had died. Our Mozzer announced from behind the bar that Oprah Winfrey had passed away, but he was mistaken, it was her lookalike Whitney Houston.


FEB 2012 - A NEW GIANT TV SCREEN IS ERECTED IN PARODY NIGHTS


Clingster, Manc lad, Hector, Rosy and Amor went berserk at Our Mozzer's mistake. They started to smash up Parody Nights, ripping down the parody pictures of Ross & Brand and even smashing the famous 'Sudanese Crying Girl' painting. So strong was their love for Houston, that Clingster, Hector, Rosy and Amor, ran to The Twitterdilly Arms, and packed their bags. Amor was SO deeply offended, that she attacked Rat, leaving him battered and sore. Our Mozzer grinned, poured himself a drink, and switched channels.


AMOR BEATS UP RAT BEFORE FLEEING THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS FOR GOOD



THE ROSS AND BRAND PARODY POSTER, RIPPED DOWN IN DISGUST BY ROSY MIRES




As February drew to a close, Our Mozzer once again became plain old Morrissey, and headed off to sing to the South American community of Black Cloud Island.


OUR MOZZER LEAVES PARODY NIGHTS AND HEADS OFF ON TOUR AS MORRISSEY


As Morrissey entered the South American community, he was stopped by a journalist and asked if he was involved with the running of the Parody Nights club. Morrissey explained to the journalist that he couldn't be behind it, because he was only seventeen, so it would be dangerous. This was the first, and only time, that ANYBODY outside of the Parody Nights community had mentioned the club to Morrissey.

Many took this fourth denial as ABSOLUTE evidence that Morrissey WASN'T Our Mozzer, but the VERY next day, Our Mozzer sent a telegram to the Twitterdilly Arms, telling the regulars that he was planning a small surprise, and he also mentioned the Falkland Islands.

That evening, Morrissey's band delivered the small surprise by wearing black bras on stage, while Boz wore a dress, and Morrissey mentioned the Falkland islands. The COINCIDENCES were mounting up, but to those outside The Twitterdilly Arms and Parody Nights, these 'coincidences' meant NOTHING.

Meanwhile, over in the Solow community, Paul Free, Skin and a number of others, seemed to be spending more and more time, telling anybody that would listen, that THEY had their own bands. Skin no longer had any interest in watching Morrissey perform live, he was far more interested in himself. Tze Tze, who is banned from attending all Morrissey concerts on Black Cloud Island, decided to audition for Skin's band, taking his influence from Morrissey, of course.


TZE TZE TRIES TO IMPRESS SKIN OVER AT THE SOLOW PLACE


On March 12th, Parody Nights at last underwent a refurbishment, with Our Mozzer replacing the posters that had been ripped down by all the fleeing Houston fans. His new choice of decor continued on from the masonic 'OO' theme, with a number of 'Hand Across The Chest' pictures.





NEW POSTERS IN PARODY NIGHTS


Three days later, Our Mozzer invited Rat, EARS and Loughton Lil into the back room of Parody Nights, and there he told them to watch out for Morrissey holding his heart during 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out' in his concert.


RAT, OUR MOZZER, EARS AND LOUGHTON LIL IN THE BACK ROOM


The three eagerly watched out for songs on the internet jukebox in The Twitterdilly Arms, and sure enough, Morrissey DID hold his heart, and the three became further convinced, that Our Mozzer was undoubtedly The Mozziah.

Two days later, Morrissey rounded off his tour, by making a double 'OO' sign in Bogota, and then he plucked a white rose from the audience, and watched the rose turn red, just as Log Lady had predicted.

"WHEN THE BLOOD RUNS, THE WHITE ROSE BECOMES A RED ROSE" - LOG LADY OCT 2011



Next time on Lord Of The Whys......Our Mozzer pledges that Morrissey will appear with a blue rose before 2012 is out, Morrissey gives an interview to Rat, Parody Nights closes down again, and Morrissey celebrates his birthday in a rose shirt....because we must!




6 comments:

  1. Thanks for continuing to tell this special story, Rats. Brilliant photos again, especially those of Drag Boz and Tze Tze. Always thinking of and sending #LoveToBetty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ditto to everything you said, Heather. That picture of Tseng in the bra - LOL!

      Delete
  2. My thanks too rats, you bring warmth & humour to Twitterdilly. At the risk of repeating myself your choice of photos add to the pleasure of my visits here.

    #LoveToBetty

    ReplyDelete
  3. I did have a holiday from all of the madness and then posted on your blog
    at the beginning of May, whereby Our Moz left a comment welcoming me back.
    ( I was thrilled of course ! ) I had kept up to date with all that had been occurring,
    but had not been part of it.

    I had not remembered that the Blue Rose Society had been started as early in January 2012.
    I love the Drag Boz photo !

    ReplyDelete
  4. Perfect Rat! See you for the chart!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Rat,

    For someone like me, who has been striding over MorrisseysWorld only since 20th April this year, and even that rather irregularly, your blog is a treasured compass - a very precise and very wittily written one, by the way.

    With dreary daily life preventing me from catching up with all blog entries so far, I could have not been more grateful for the 'Lord of the Whys' than I am right now. It is just brilliant.

    Thank you so much Rat!

    - Regi

    ReplyDelete

Mozziah Archive