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Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Day 413 - Lord Of the Whys Part 6

If Morrissey had thought that receiving a rose in Bogota would bring more customers to his Parody Nights club, he was wrong. The dictators at the Solow Place censored all mention of the 'Bogota Rose', and pretended that it had never happened, whilst the rest of Black Cloud Island remained blissfully oblivious.

 The regulars of the Twitterdilly Arms initially rejoiced at the sight of the rose, but their pleasure was short lived, as they came under immediate attack from former Twit Arms residents, such as Rosy Mires, Clingster, Amor, GOB and Lizzy Cat, who all claimed that the rose meant nothing. The gang, led as ever by Walter Ego, also included Skin and General Hamster, and they built themselves a temporary shack behind Parody Nights, which they called 'Deconstruction Row'.


WALTER EGO (WHITE JACKET), SKIN (GREEN SHIRT), CALDERCOAT SEAN (BRACES) AND OTHER MEMBERS OF THE DECONSTRUCTION ROW 'TEAM'. FRONT ROW L TO R: GENERAL HAMSTER, CLINGSTER, GOB AND LIZZY

The atmosphere remained tense over the next month, and the various factions continued to bicker and argue among themselves. The occupiers of the Twitterdilly Arms were frustrated that the inhabitants of Black Cloud Island had failed to find the Parody Nights club, and the gang living in Deconstruction Row, mocked the Twitterdillians for being so easily fooled. Our Mozzer just wiped his tables, dried his pots, and smiled to himself.

In early April of 2012, Sister Julia of The True To You Chapel Of The Latter Day Mozziah, announced that there would be concerts for Europeans during the summer, and Our Mozzer started a whole Spring season of entertainment in the Parody Nights club, which included; 'Book Readings From The Sudamerican Tour Journals', 'Broken Morrissey - Drama Queen' and 'Drag Boz In Session'.


BROKEN MORRISSEY - PART OF THE SPRING ENTERTAINMENT IN PARODY NIGHTS

 Margaret Lanterman also appeared on the Spring bill, bringing her much enjoyed log rubbing back to Parody Nights. She also brought with her, ANOTHER pledge, that "Before 2012 is out, Morrissey will appear with a blue rose."

The likes of Edge Industrial, Barcelona Berrells and Southkirk Kirky started hanging around the Parody Nights club, as did minor celebrities; Countess Amy of Camden, Marcus the Greek, Kristeen Young and EVEN Boy George. Despite Morrissey going off on tour to the asian part of Black Cloud Island, Our Mozzer kept his club open for business, adding himself onto the bill as an acidic stand up comedian, laying into the likes of Madonna, Katie Price, Elton, Bieber et al.


L TO R: PLAYWRIGHT MARCUS THE GREEK, OUR MOZZER, BOY GEORGE & KRISTEEN YOUNG

Over in the Solow Temple, Skin delivered a passionate sermon, calling the owner of Parody Nights a "deluded and mentally unstable nutcase", while in the concert world, the likes of Yukari Ramone, Minar, Tokyo Katie, and the old lush Manc Lad, ALL took roses to the concerts, but ALL failed to get them to Morrissey.


YUKARI AND MINAR COULDN'T GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO DELIVER THEIR ROSES

As April came to a close, so did Parody Nights, with Our Mozzer once again deciding to shut up shop. The residents of the Twitterdilly Arms kept each other company in the bar, and kept their eye on the internet jukebox, watching clips from concerts.


ROMINA WATCHES MOZ AND GAYNOR ON THE INTERNET JUKEBOX IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS, WHILE DOING HER CHORES


In early May, Lizzy Cat and GOB strolled back into the Twitterdilly Arms, as if  they'd never been away, and moved back into their old rooms, their faith in Our Mozzer fully restored. Deconstruction Row had fallen apart, and was left abandoned, with Skin and co headed back to their Solow shanty town. Walter Ego had trudged off on his own, no longer sure where he belonged.

With Our Mozzer having disappeared, Rat decided to try and get some news, and shoved a piece of paper, with some hastily scrawled questions on it, through the letterbox of Parody Nights, in the hope that somebody might find it. The following day, a beautifully presented letter arrived at the Twitterdilly Arms, written in a childlike scrawl, and signed by Morrissey. Nobody could be sure if it was the real Morrissey or not, but all of Rats questions had been answered, except ONE, which just had "..." as the reply.


A BEAUTIFULLY BOUND LETTER ARRIVED AT THE TWIT ARMS

That same afternoon, the Chapel Of The Latter Day Mozziah was dawbed in graffiti, with the 'missing' answer to Rat's question. The handwriting was identical to the handwriting on the letter. Sister Julia quickly cleared away the graffiti. Parody Nights was also vandalised, with 'Because We Must' sprayed on the front door.






That evening, a paint covered Morrissey, ran himself a bath in his luxurious hilltop cave, and smiled a satisfied smile.

MORRISSEY'S LUXURIOUS BATHROOM

A few days later, on Morrissey's birthday, the 22nd May, Morrissey sang for the San Diego section of Black Cloud Island, wearing a red shirt, covered in ROSES, and he spoke to the audience saying, "Because We Must, Because We Must, Because We Must." The following day, Parody Nights was back in business.


Next time....Green Carnations, Blue Rose ties, and Morrissey sings to the UK section of Black Cloud Island

7 comments:

  1. oh rat it does make me smile..much needed i might add

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  2. What a beautiful picture of me! Thank you Rat! Cheers, I'm waiting for the next one! Happy Halloween!

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  3. My colossal part in this story is being chiselled out of history, as Akhenaten by the hands of the priests of Amen. Conspiracy!

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  4. Really enjoying 'Lord of the Whys' and the pictures are a fantastic addition. One tiny, tiny request - can you please correct your spelling of 'dawbed'. It has featured often in this tale and is driving me mad, mad, mad.
    Thank you :)

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  5. Thank you so much Rats for keeping the Twitterdilly momentum going
    while all is quiet in Mozziahland.

    I am really enjoying your recapping of the story and the photos are
    hilarious, I especially love the black and white ones.

    I just don't feeling like going to the Twitterdilly Arms on these
    cold evenings, although I miss seeing everyone there and the interaction,
    but it is boring at the moment without the wit and wisdom of Our Moz.

    ReplyDelete

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