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Thursday, 6 December 2012

Day 449 - Wiggle Room Is Not Enough

............BUT, much as though I would LIKE to announce that my name is Simon Blackmore, and, much as though I would LIKE to admit to being responsible for MorrisseysWorld, I CAN'T of course, because it would be a LIE! For those who have NO IDEA what I am going on about, let me explain.

Following my blog entry of Tuesday (Day 447), an anonymous commenter left a message announcing that the person responsible for MorrisseysWorld is Rat (ME), and that my initials are SB. My first instinct was to ignore the anonymous halfwit, but in fairness, I HAVE been asking the non believers to come up with a name of who THEY believe is behind MorrisseysWorld, so although 'anonymous' had obviously got it wrong about ME being 'SB', I decided to try and find the identity of the man that my anonymous halfwitted reader had 'worked out' was the author of MorrisseysWorld. Forget 'WHO IS MORRISSEY?' or 'WHO IS MORRISSEYSWORLD?', my quest of yesterday was to find out 'WHO IS SB?'


SARAH BRIGHTMAN - BEHIND MORRISSEYSWORLD?


I decided to start my investigation by sending a 'Direct Message' via twitter to the 'Non believers' very own 'SB', Stephen 'Barcelona' Berrells, asking him if it was HE who had left the anonymous comment on my blog. I didn't think for one minute that it was, but I had an inkling that he might know something, and he didn't let me down.

BARCELONA BERRELLS


Barcelona Berrells replied to my message, informing me that it wasn't him who had left the comment, but that he did KNOW who I was! It was the 'KNOW' word again, the one that the likes of Rosy Mires use SO regularly when discussing Morrissey and MorrisseysWorld. I  asked Berrells to reveal to me my TRUE identity, and he informed me that my name is 'Simon Blackmore'.  I had FOUND my 'SB'! This was too easy!

Berrells quickly followed this revelation up with a another, completely unprovoked message saying, "Nobody told me, I worked it out on my own." I grinned from ear to ear, Berrells was behaving like a criminal under investigation. It was glaringly obvious that he hadn't worked ANYTHING out on his own, he has been absolutely clueless to seeing the signs all the way through the MorrisseysWorld phenomenon, and relies on Rosy Mires to TELL him what to believe. Berrells had been TOLD that Simon Blackmore was behind MorrisseysWorld, no doubt by Mires, but the question was, had Mires worked it out, or was it somebody else? I now had two things to uncover, 'WHO IS SIMON BLACKMORE?', and  'WHO IS THE HALFWIT' who'd framed Blackmore?


LIEUTENANT RAT - 'WHO FRAMED SIMON BLACKMORE?'

It was at this stage that I decided to post a blog entry about 'liking' to announce that I was Simon Blackmore. I congratulated Barcelona Berrells on his brilliant detective work, and asked him to do me the honour of posting my blog on twitter, which he duly did. I then sat back and waited. I was convinced my 'Halfwit' would inadvertently reveal themsleves, it was just a question of when. I couldn't help wondering who the halfwit was, so I opened a bookies shop in my head, with my 'in mind' bookmaker offering even money on Uncle Sweaty, 2/1 Rosy Mires, 5/2 Still.I.Cling, 3/1 Duchess Arora, 10/1 Banjaxer, 50/1 Manclad, 100/1 Mrs Whiskers and 200/1 Bar.




I didn't have to wait long for a response to Barcelona Berrells posting, within minutes, the following tweet was posted by good old Uncle Sweaty:

 "A glib statement like that is not enough. Wiggle room for retraction not enough. It's too late for that."

Uncle Sweaty thought he had snared his rat, but what he'd actually done was revealed himself as a halfwit. The bookmaker ALWAYS wins, even when they are holed up in a murky corner of a rat's mind!

Whilst Uncle Sweaty was busy patting himself on the back, I googled 'Simon Blackmore Morrissey', to see if I could find out WHO Blackmore is, and what had led Uncle Halfwit to deduce he was behind MorrisseysWorld. Google's top link took me straight to Solow, and an article from February 21 2004 entitled:

 'All of the rumours...MEN gig and so forth', posted by *trumpet sounds* UNCLE SKINNY! Bingo! This investigation was becoming all too easy.

The Solow article in question, posted by Uncle Skinny, was a piece questioning the authenticity of a particular website. IT'S DEJA VU!  The website on this particular occasion in February 2004, WASN'T MorrisseysWorld, but a website named 'MorrisseyMusic.com.' The site had been set up by a PR company representing Morrissey, to promote a forthcoming Morrissey concert at Manchester Arena, on May 22nd 2004. One of the people working for the PR company was one, 'Simon Blackmore.'

Photo of Simon Blackmore
SIMON BLACKMORE PR


Straightforward enough you might think, but NOT for Uncle Sweaty, whose paranoiac posting of 2004 goes into great detail as to why he believes the 'MorrisseyMusic.com' website isn't real. He even questions the very suggestion of Morrissey playing a concert on his birthday. Skinny's 2004 ramble concludes "I would like the information to be true, but there's just too much not quite right about the www.morrisseymusic.com website. If this is a hoax, then they've done a damn good job and done their research. My gut feeling is that there's just enough doubt present to make me not believe it." (The link to the Solow article: http://www.morrissey-solo.com/threads/22918-All-of-the-rumours-MEN-gig-and-so-forth)

On May 22nd 2004, Morrissey, on his birthday, played to a packed Manchester Arena, just as had been advertised by the 'MorrisseyMusic' website.

YOU COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP!


MORRISSEY PLAYED MANCHESTER ON HIS BIRTHDAY 2004 - THEY EVEN MADE A DVD OF IT, SO IT 'MUST' BE TRUE.


According to my internet research, Simon Blackmore is a fan of David Lynch (Twin Peaks), and lives on the Isle of Wight. I should point out at this stage, that I have NEVER watched a full episode of Twin Peaks, and the ONLY person who has ever stated that I live on the Isle of Wight is Our Mozzer!

It's back to the drawing board for Uncle Sweaty and the other non believers. They have so far accused THREE innocent men of being behind MorrisseysWorld; first of all Dickie Felton, secondly Duncan Barkes, and NOW Simon Blackmore. My ONLY advise to the 'Non believers' is, don't waste too much time trying to find ANOTHER innocent person to accuse of being behind MorrisseysWorld, the REAL author is right in front of your noses, now all you have to do is OPEN your eyes and you might just start enjoying MorrisseysWorld for the genius it is. Let me spell it out, leaving no "wiggle room", I AM NOT THE AUTHOR OF MORRISSEYSWORLD, MORRISSEY IS!

Simon Blackmore, Black Arts PR
SIMON BLACKMORE IN A NYC CAP - I TOO OWN ONE, AND THERE THE STORY ENDS

*I'm sure that either GOB, Cathy5, Loughton Lil, EARS or Southkirk Kirky will be happy to post a comment telling all that I am NOT Simon Blackmore*


Yesterday, before my detecting abilities had been called upon, I had once again gone into work, so I was unable to write a blog entry. There were only a few things that I missed reporting on, one of them being, that a drunk Manclad had been in the Twit Arms on Tuesday, announcing that Moz was now bound for New Zealand. You can always rely on a drunk in a pub to keep you up to speed, and 'virtual' pubs are no different it would seem. To back up Manclad's announcement, I have today spotted the following tweet from '@Berbelijn', posted at 3pm Wellington time: "Might just saw Morrissey on Lambton Quay here in Wellington."

LAMBTON QUAY NEW ZEALAND - BUT HAS '@Berbelijn' 'JUST SAW' MORRISSEY, OR HAS HE ACTUALLY SPOTTED OLD EMU TITS?


The only other two things I would have mentioned yesterday, were that the latest MW parody piece has disappeared and Heather has discovered the meaning of a mysterious tweet by 'Society Rose.'
  Firstly, the disappearance of the parody piece. There is speculation amongst MorrisseysWorlders, that Boz (or Lyn) may have told Moz that he'd gone too far in the latest parody piece, particularly regarding Boz's 'Emu Tits', but I've been wondering if perhaps Mrs Whiskers has taken out an injunction to stop HER good name being abused in parody pieces.

It's just as well that she's never read MY blog, especially the entry about the decorators being in! I wonder if I should go back and delete that one? Nah, fuck it, I can't remember when I wrote it, and it WAS funny.


On November 11th, following a three week absence from twitter, Society Rose tweeted: "No more twitter? Someone's going to have to ask me another seven times." At the time, none of us could work out what this meant, but yesterday, Heather Cat cracked it. It is a reference to Grant Showbiz's quote from the Dave Simpson 'Uncut' article of 1998 (http://motorcycleaupairboy.com/interviews/1998/uncut.htm), in which Showbiz said, "The amount of time it took to get Morrissey onstage was getting longer and longer. There was this great game he'd play of wanting to be asked 15 times, if it'd been 14 the night before. Johnny was like 'Let's Rock!' and Mozzer'd be 'Well, somebody's gotta ask me another seven times.'"


GRANT SHOWBIZ - 7 TIMES A NIGHT MAN


So, it would appear The Mozzer has landed in Wellington, but I can report that my blog has received ZERO hits from New Zealand, so either Moz HASN'T automatically dashed to his hotel room to log on to 'Following The Mozziah', or perhaps Uncle Sweaty has got it right after all, and Morrissey ISN'T behind MorrisseysWorld......and perhaps Morrissey DIDN'T play at the M.E.N on May 22nd 2004!

22 comments:

  1. May I just quickly say 2 things -

    1. I adore this blog

    2.I am pleased to announce that @TheRatsBack is possibly Phil Collins but definitely NOT Simon Blackmore.

    Cheers x

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  2. Firstly, so glad to hear that Our Moz has safely landed in Wellington,
    if indeed it was him spotted taking the air !
    Secondly, HOW much botox/plastic surgery has Sarah Brightman had ?
    She is virtually unrecognisable except for her gnashers.
    Thirdly, I agree with EARS about your blog, Rats. How would we manage
    without it and you ? It is very entertaining and explanatory today.
    Fourthly, yes you could be correct that the MW blog part one was a
    step to far.....

    Lastly, I have finished my Christmas shopping for presents - hoorah !

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  3. Funny funny dude. The first thing I did yesterday on seeing your 'admission' was to do exactly what you did and resorted to google. As soon as I saw old Blackmore I said 'that's not Ratty' and relaxed. I am pleased to confirm that the Blackmore in the photo is not Ratty.

    Where do you get Decorator Rat from - that is genius. You must never let Mrs. Whiskers near this blog.

    And finally well done to Heather for her detective work - job well done.

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    1. Agree about Mrs Whiskers and the decorators - that was hilarious
      when you first blogged that piece of information.

      Also agree about Heather and her sleuthing - congratulations.
      Now we know what the Mozziah meant and he does have a memory
      like an elephant as has been proved.

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    2. Thanks for your kind words, but they are undeserved for I just happened to stumble upon the quote, with no sleuthing involved. Rat (Lt. Columbo) is the one who deserves praise for his sleuthing skills. It's remarkable that, no matter how many times people try to come up with an alternative answer to the mastermind behind MW, all signs keep pointing back to the same obvious answer.

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  4. I knew there would be a big BUT :) This is hilarious - poor Stephen stitched up like a kipper. You couldn't make it up.

    PS JG the decorator rat is a Banksy <^__)~


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  5. Apparently I've missed a lot the last few days! Apparently one shouldn't stay away from Twitter just because one is ill :O I loved the blog... as always. It was surely worth to get away from my 'Ill at Home Twin Peaks Marathon' to read it. Twin Peaks may never make to my all times favourites I guess, but I simply can't stop it now that I have started.... after that, I'll go and reads MW's blog again I believe... 'the owls are not what they seem' ;)

    - Regi

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    1. Being ill is a wonderful excuse to have a Twin Peaks marathon. We will rely on you to spot the anticipated Twin Peaks reference from Our Moz. Hope you're on the mend and starting to feel much better x

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    2. I my have to follow suit if this cold develops into flu!

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  6. I really hope this will put an end to the accusations of Rat being behind MW. Those accusations should've been laid to rest after the Manc concert in July, when some of the Twitterdilly gang were drinking with Rat after the concert while MW was simultaneously tweeting (see July 30th post on this blog). Shouldn't this be enough proof that Rat isn't MW, or has this been forgotten?

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  7. naughty naughty rat first, i am angry, 100 -1 whats that all about, then my odds are halved in the picture, anyway i never tweeted about new zealand..my mate tweeted about going via singapore with the countrys airline..i was responsible for getting rid of the tweet..an apology in the shape of a double will suffice

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  8. mental note put commas in the right place manc.. ALSO dont ever hand your phone over to a mate.. as twitter is saved on your mobile and you could end up in trouble

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  9. Hahaha, this is too funny! You must have been chuckling to yourself writing this! Even if you stumbled across the quote, Heather, still a great find! To our Mozzer, please come back to Twitter some day! (One down, six to go!)

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  10. Thank you Rat! I googled for SB to and I'm a little bit sorry that you're not the man Sthephen Sberrel thought you were...SB looks like a very interesting man I saw his picture on his MySpace profile he's single, he's an happy father and he was born in Isle of Wight...Oh Rat, who are you? Have a nice day of shopping with your lovely wife and a nice week end to, do you made the Christmas Tree on 8 december like in Italy? P.S happy to know that Morrissey is arrived in New Zeland and truly hoping for discovering more news about him and his band, I did'nt red the parody piece on MW blog so hoping for he'll post it once again! Cheers! Ciao!

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  11. Sorry Rat, I changed my mind on SB, is not so interesting, saw again his picture with the poor little fish in his hand...and I missed an a in read...but you know I used to do it so forgive me!

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  12. So sad to see that the MW blog has disappeared again :(

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    Replies
    1. It has? Hope it is only temporary...

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  13. Hey Rattsville, any news on hits from down under? You know I love coincidences.

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    1. Don't spend too much time looking for Simon Peter, when it is The Mozziah who you truly seek. Goes off singing *I was a nice kid, with a nice paper round...*

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