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Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Day 461 - Is That a Log in Your Pants, or Are You Just Pleased To See Moz?

There is no Morrissey concert today, the next one is tomorrow in Melbourne. The Brisbane set was the same as the previous one in Auckland, with one exception; Black Cloud (Island) was replaced by One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell. This song change would appear rather apt, as I have awoken this morning to once again find Our Mozzer's twitter account has been deleted, and the MorrisseysWorld blog is threatening to close for good.

BRISBANE CONVENTION CENTRE - THE LATEST LEISURE CENTRE OF CHOICE


The new article on the blog is entitled, 'Our Mozzer deletes his twitter and decides to stop blogging', and it describes how Our Mozzer has become "sick of being confused with the seminal artiste HM (His Morrisseyesque) Morrissey." It says, "Despite the disclaimers and the repeated statements that he is most certainly NOT Morrissey, and despite Morrissey's - so far - four denials, he has realised that as long as he remains in character, people will believe he is Morrissey." The article goes on to explain that although there have been a number of "extraordinary, mesmerizing and fascinating coincidences, these were made to happen by Morrissey, not by Our Mozzer."



The article on MW goes on to say, "We will cease and desist from all further activity unless Morrissey proves categorically once and for all that he is a MorrisseysWorlder and demonstrates his affinity for our community and secret society, the Order of the Blue Rose." The most striking thing about this statement is that the 'BlueRoseSociety' has been renamed the 'Order of the Blue Rose', which is all well and good, but according to my internet research, the Cosmic Goddess (www.thecosmicgoddess.com) has already beaten Our Mozzer to it, and there is a joining fee of 125 dollars!


Mind you, it looks good value for money, as according to the website, for your 125 bucks, you will receive "Three distinct, divine energies, placed into your physical and spiritual hearts." It doesn't however mention luminous blue roses, which I can provide for you at just 5 dollars (plus postage and packing) a shot, as well as 3 foot inflatable red roses, which I can let you have at 6 dollars each, or two for 10 dollars.


Our Mozzer signed off by asking both MorrisseysWorlders and former MorrisseysWorlders to explain what MorrisseysWorld had meant to them.

So, is that it? Has the story finished? Am I destined to return to work on January 15th, or will TRM (The Real Morrissey) do something to PROVE categorically, once and for all, that he is a MorrisseysWorlder? Personally, I think Our Mozzer has been VERY clever with this latest article, as it gives TRM a get out. This article allows Morrissey to either wear a BLUE ROSE, sing Trouble loves Me, or wear an iconic pop t-shirt, whilst still being able to deny any actual authorship of MorrisseysWorld. If TRM were to do any, or ALL of the above, it would no doubt be followed by a FOURTH denial on True To You along the following lines:

STATEMENT: Morrissey would once again like it known that he has no connection with the website MorrisseysWorld, although he has occasionally read it, and has at times found it mildly amusing. Morrissey would like to thank all those who have continued to support him during the year by attending his concerts across the continents of the globe, the gifts and the flowers have been very much appreciated. Despite Morrissey's record breaking tour, he remains without a recording contract.


MORRISSEY WEARING WILDE'S GREEN CARNATION IN LIEGE, BUT IS HE NOW FREE TO WEAR HIS OWN BLUE ROSE?


Now here is an interesting thing, which has been brought to my attention by Heather Cat. Before Russell Brand went to watch Moz last week, he tweeted, "WELLINGTON TONIGHT! Morrissey is here tomorrow. I will remain and worship at the lotus feet of our secular saint of solopsism." I remember reading this tweet at the time, but didn't really give it a second thought, especially as I had NO idea what solopsism meant.

It would appear that Heather also had no idea what solopsism meant, so she looked it up. It transpires, that the word is actually 'Solipsism', spelt with an 'i' not an 'o'. This could of course just have been a simple spelling error by Brand, but A) when you misspell on twitter, the word is underlined by red dots, and B) The very same misspelling of Solipsism was made on the MW blog article on September 4th, entitled 'The reason this must end.' That particular article is signed by none other than.....Leonid Albrecht! Perhaps Leonid and Russell are just poor spellers! There was NO C).

R BRAND - POOR SPELLER


Before his latest disappearance, Our Mozzer did briefly appear in the Twitterdilly Arms yesterday evening at 7.30pm, which would actually have been 5.30am on Tuesday in Brisbane. I can't report on what he said, as the timeline has vanished, but I did have an exchange of words, and he suggested that somebody should dress up as Log Lady and present Morrissey with a log and blue rose. I do love Our Mozzer's romanticism, but he is obviously blissfully unaware of how hard it is to sneak flowers into a concert venue these days, let alone a bleeding tree! I don't mind stuffing artificial roses down my pants, but if he thinks I'm concealing a log down there, while dressed as a female pensioner, he is mistaken.

IS THAT A LOG IN YOUR PANTS, OR ARE YOU JUST PLEASED TO SEE MOZ?

And finally Esther, and finally Cyril, I would like to thank those who left comment on yesterday's blog regarding the Sunday night chat with Morrissey1959. It would appear that SOMETHING happened on stage a while ago, that was linked to the Leonid Albrecht story, and apparently it is so obvious, that Our Mozzer has had to keep the story off the blog. Also in the chat room, M1959 said that Boz was angry with Moz, because Moz had turned down yet another record deal. According to 'SmallBoyJokesAndLoadedGuns', Moz said that accepting the deal would mean losing his self-respect.


NOBODY seemed to see the Isle of Wight shape on the front of Morrissey's shirt during 'Everyday is Like Sunday'in Auckland, but this lack of vision DIDN'T stop the song from reaching poll position in the Twitterdilly Top 10.

THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 10 - FOR THE WEEK SUN 16TH - SAT 22ND DEC (PUBLISHED AT 12.45pm UK TIME BY @WALKERRAT)

1. EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY (LIVE IN AUCKLAND) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY)
2. CHRISTMAS KISSES - HAPPY MARTYR (UP 5)
3. FRIDAY MOURNING - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY)
4. NOVEMBER SPAWNED A MONSTER (LIVE IN WELLINGTON) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY)
5. TROUBLE LOVES ME - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE)
6. SWEET AND TENDER HOOLIGAN (LIVE IN NIAGARA FALLS) - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE)
7. I'VE CHANGED MY PLEA TO GUILTY - MORRISSEY (RE-ENTRY)
8. GANGLORD - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY)
9. STILL ILL (LIVE IN AUCKLAND) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY)
10. HEART - RITA PAVONE (DOWN 1)

*Solipsism - is the philosophical idea that only one's own mind is sure to exist. The external world and other minds cannot be known, and might not exist outside the mind* Nope, me neither!

8 comments:

  1. how strange..you recall the russ brand mizz spelling, whilst i as usual recall nothing..are you going to continue with this blog rat or is it doomed

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  2. That log picture is priceless. Thanks for the laughs!

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  3. Moz tweeted this last night just before he went :
    @morrisseysworld "When you find out that I'm Uncle Skinny, you're going to be devastated."
    I replied to him saying he couldn't be Uncle Sweaty who wasn't clever enough, but knew lots
    of swear words.
    Moz replied to me that Uncle Sweaty had been on Mastermind answering questions about
    Morrissey. How strange is that ? ( I'm not using the exact words he tweeted )

    I'm so glad that you had a fun Top Ten today, Loughton Lil is always good value.

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  4. Interesting post dear Rat! I do think that this story will finish just when Morrissey will publish his book and God only knows when! Anyway I'm sure ther'll be a lot of surprises!

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  5. You surpassed yourself with the log photo - superb.

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  6. Dear Rat, where are you today? Are you watching you tube footage of the last concert? Why do you always writing about Leonid Albrecht? Leonid Albrecht is a dancer surely more famous than Bobby Britt and is also a charachter of the famous ballet Giselle! Leonid Albrecht does'nt exist in real life, but the dancer Leonid Serafinovic (not sure about the surname, surely I mispelled) is an ukrain dancer mainly famous for his role in Giselle as Prince Albert! The story of Giselle is strongly influenced by the work of Victor Hugo, author of Les Miserables, Giselle is a pretty young girl who felt in love with prince Albrecht, but she did'nt know the real identity of the prince and she did'nt know that the prince was engaged with another woman and he was going to merry her. When the poor girl discovers the truth dies! What does it mean? When we'll all discover the truth about MorrisseysWorld we'll be so disappointed to die? I don't know! Ciao!

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    Replies
    1. I truly hope not! One of my favourite ballets though!

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