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Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Day 469 - Musings on The Twitterdilly Arms Gin Palace

The black cloud has lifted, thanks mainly to an afternoon of drinking alcohol and Our Mozzer returning to the Twitterdilly Arms. Drinking and tweeting makes the Twit Arms seem more like a real pub than ever, so perhaps we should all be drinking alcohol every time we tweet, which I believe is what Manc Lad does.

Following my dour blog entry of yesterday, I received many supporting comments, including a number from Morrissey himself:


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.
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  2. I meant to say: I don't know why those who once inhabited our glorious planet on MorrisseysWorld have to become negative and critical the moment they leave. It's a peculiar phenomenon Rat and I shouldn't let it get you down.

    Apologies about the deleted message; the lesson is not to drink gin on Christmas morning.

    I am, however, deeply disillusioned with the lack of fawning praise for the latest slice of parody genius. It's just not on, quite frankly. I don't even know why I bother at times-

    And now... back to monitor the so-low forum... back to observing 'forum enforcer' Uncle Skinny (Rosy and StillICling's wonderful friend) bullying anybody who says anything semi-interesting.
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MORRISSEY KICKS OFF HIS CHRISTMAS DAY BY DRINKING GIN IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS


The image of Morrissey sipping gin at 9 o'clock on Christmas morning is one that will stay with me forever, it is just perfect, and I think that the gin drinking must have continued, because he remained on twitter for the rest of the day.

It was a big surprise to see Our Mozzer in the Twit Arms on Christmas Day, not least because on December 17th, the MW blog announced, "We will cease and desist from all further activity unless Morrissey proves categorically once and for all that he is a MorrisseysWorlder." To my knowledge, TRM (The Real Morrissey) HASN'T proven anything of the sort.

The appearance of our Mozzer in the Twit Arms on Christmas Day was made even more surprising, following his announcement just the day before, that Christmas Eve was to be his last day of tweeting. Here are the highlights from Our Mozzer's visit to the Twitterdilly Arms on Christmas Eve:

(In reply to @Junkerofheart requesting that Moz go to Venezuela) "I am coming to Venezuela. I'm breathless with anticipation and delusionally hopeful." It should be noted that although there has been no 'official' announcement about Moz playing in Venezuela, a Venezuelan producer has leaked that Moz will play Caracas in April.

"The New Year will be rather thrilling in MorrisseysWorld: book, album, surprise."

"Even when life is not worth living, it's more pleasurable than death."

TEATRO TERESA CARRENO, CARACAS, VENEZUELA - HOUSING MOZ IN APRIL?


Our Mozzer's session in the Twitterdilly Arms on Christmas Day was an epic, lasting from 11am until 1am on Boxing Day. God only knows when he managed to eat, he just didn't stop. Who needs Christmas films on TV, when you can watch a gin swigging pop idol in a fantasy pub on the internet? Here are the highlights of Our Mozzer's Christmas Day in the Twitterdily Arms:

"England has been thrown away. It no longer exists. It has been drowned in tacky television, vile patriotism and debt for war."

"@johnrobb77 The article by old Walter Ego Marinnian about @Morrisseysworld on your website really cheapens the place. Why not remove it?" John Robb later replied, "Will have a look now" and then later still said, "All sorted M." WHY did John Robb delete Marinan's MorrisseysWorld article from his 'LouderThanWar.Com' website, and WHY did he call Our Mozzer 'M'? Does Robb KNOW something we don't know?

JOHN ROBB - IN THE KNOW?

Our Mozzer later asked Marinan (@Banjaxer), "How do you feel about John Robb deleting your article, old friend?" Banjaxer replied, "Not as important to me as it is to you, obviously." Banjaxer has since followed this up today by saying, "@MorrisseysWorld actually if @johnrobb77 does what you tell him that's up to him. Not very punk rock though." I'm not fooled by this 'staged' exchange which is to make us think Moz and Marinan don't get on, they'll have to try a lot harder!

CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"@sonyajayne7 I didn't recognise you, Sonya - a voice from the past, how is your OldOscar account? Good to see you." (Sonya was around at the very beginning of the MW phenomenon, and presumably runs the '@OldOscar' account on twitter, that used to also be involved in the early days. A lot of us previously presumed that Morrissey ran that particular account.)

"It's Christmas day. And my professional Morrissey parody is consuming my life. Oh, how sad-" (It does make you wonder if Morrissey's choice to spend all of Christmas day on twitter, is a little like an actor playing to the cameras. I can just picture Morrissey's diary entry for Christmas Day 2012, in which he laments how he spent all of Christmas day alone in his bedroom tweeting. When people come to read those diaries in 50 or 100 years time, it will look SO Morrisseyesque. And even if he isn't playing to the cameras, the fact that Morrissey spent all of Christmas day on twitter IS Morrisseyesque, but then again it would be, after all, he IS Morrissey, so everything he does is Morrisseyesque, whether it's interpreted to be Morrisseyesque by the masses or not!)


MORRISSEY HUGGING IN A MORRISSEYESQUE FASHION


CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"Why pay a therapist to listen to my existential woes when my fans will willingly pay an admission fee for the same service?" (I LOVE this!)

"Do you know how rarely these lips have been kissed? Thay ache for human touch, and yet they receive nothing but tea."

"@Mozkidkyle The president of the BlueRoseSociety even has his own uniform-"



PRESIDENT KYLE WITH HIS BEST XMAS PRESENT

CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"A star at 45... and then suddenly gone. Down to a few lines in the back page of a faded annual...WhatNow"

'Next album: 'My Fingernails Collect The World's Problems'...1 Boredom is a Plague 2 Bloomsbury Sunset 3 Morrissey's World 4 Suicidal Hour 5 Action is My Middle Name 6 Aborted Hope 7 Jennifer Swayed 8 Pop Music is Dead 9 Mirror to the Nose 10 I Cut. I Smile 11 Yes but No 12 Fear"

(In reply to Alex West) "@4_L_E_X Alex, having followers isn't all it's cracked up to be. The more one has, the more impersonal the whole experience is. A grand illusion, like much of modern life: let's all ignore how lonely life is and focus instead on Facebook/Twitter friends."

"Still no record deal on the horizon. At this rate I'll have to join Katrina and the Waves to get another record released." This may not be a particularly good career move for Our Mozzer, Katrina and the Waves went down the pan after winning the Eurovision contest in 1997!


KATRINA AND THE WAVES - NOT HAD A RECORD DEAL FOR 15 YEARS


CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"In the garden sat a child with no arms. The bluebells dances in the squalid drizzle. She wished she could pick them. Tears fell. She lay down. Three hours forty minutes passed. There she lay. Hypothermia was comforting, like warm candy floss. Her sore eyes closed; her lips cyanosed. Sadness was no more; it was a dream, a nightmare, something far, far away. The last waking thought was 'I missed you,mom.'" This prompted '@Mozzalini999' to reply, "Mom? You really aren't the real Moz. All you believers - the obvious truth is now confirmed." Morrissey replied "I'm not Moz. But the girl in the story is American. I'm ready to publish."

The most amusing thing for me about that last exchange, is that '@Mozzalini999' decided that Moz using the word 'mom' was enough to utterly convince him (his name is Alistair Vale) that MorrisseysWorld ISN'T Moz, whilst ignoring the 50+ blatant signs which PROVE it IS Moz!


MORRISSEY REPLICATES THE MW BLOG TO PROVE HE IS OUR MOZZER, BUT BY USING THE WORD 'MOM', HE IMMEDIATELY PROVED THAT HE ISN'T.....AND THAT'S LOGIC!


CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:


"This is the saddest Christmas I've ever endured. I'm considering switching on the TV."

(In reply to @Derekandres asking, "Are you the real Morrissey?") "Yes, I am." Derek obviously hasn't been following the whole MW phenomenon because he then asked, "So why is written NOTMORRISSEY? And why such an amazing musician have only 8,096 followers?" Our Mozzer didn't responded to this until today (see Boxing Day Highlights further down, but NO skipping please, you have to read the rest of the Christmas Day highlights first.)

"Dopamine is the cause of both genius and madness. If you have too much of it, you'll either change the world or end up in a mental hospital."

"Boz Boorer has now eclipsed Johnny Marr. I don't mean musically eclipsed - more like a solar eclipse." I LOVE this, it shows just how close Moz and Boz are, and how special their relationship is. My very few close friends are forever taking the piss out of me in such a way, and visa versa. I think it's a man thing to be so insulting to the ones we love.


BOZ BOORER (LEFT) - A TOTAL ECLIPSE....WITH ONE ARM

CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

"@RosyMires Why do former MWers and ConMorrissey Theorists become so bitter?" Incidentally, Rosy Mires has left a message on my blog entry of yesterday saying that she NEVER at any point believed Morrissey to be behind MW! REALLY? This is biblical disciple stuff. You couldn't make this up.

"Is my blog one of the most important of the past decade? I think so." I replied, "I do honestly and sincerely believe that historians will write about what you've done with your blog." I also asked for a Christmas Day prediction, to which Our Mozzer said:

"In 2013, the true artiste Morr-ee-say will make reference to the BlueRoseSociety." Bearing in mind that President Kyle will be wearing his new t-shirt at Long Island two weeks today, and has also bought the same shirt for Moz, I think this prediction could be coming true VERY VERY SOON!

My excitement for Long Island is at bursting point, I am like a kid waiting for, er, Christmas. Last night I started reading Dickie Felton's new book, 'Morrissey International Airport' , and it has whetted my appetite EVEN more for my first ever Moz concert on foreign soil. Incidentally, the book is really good, and I would recommend it to any Moz fan who has ever attended one of his concerts.


DICKIE FELTON - AUTHOR OF MORRISSEY INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT


CHRISTMAS DAY HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

(In reply to @GirlOnBike1102 asking how Our Mozzer has kept going all day) "My secret is gin, Prozac and Twitter. Sleep is secondary to genius. Wit thrives in the disconsolate, insomniac emotional cocktail."

(In explanation to @stanbass and @regi_w as to what the MW twitter account is about) "It's a parody but how does one parody a parody? I opted for meta-levels: Twitter is Moz; Blog is Moz parodying himself."

"The joy of my blog thing is that one can almost live there. It's a self-contained universe, or at least studio flat!"

"@heathercat222 You're my online confidante. Perhaps I could squeeze you into a Blog article. That way you become art." This has been followed up today by Our Mozzer publishing a new article on the MW blog entitled 'Musings on MorrisseysWorld by Heathercat', a superb piece written by Heather and first published earlier this year on the 'semi-mesmerizing' blogsite 'Following The Mozziah.'

So, having spent FOURTEEN HOURS in the Twitterdilly Arms on Christmas Day, Our Mozzer called it a day. There was also a late night session in the MW chat room, but I lost my wifi connection (I was in the West Wing of my bedsit), so didn't stay long. I can't report on what was said for the short time that I was there, because I was pissed and I can't remember! I think I was droning on about having no direction in life, but as my lack of direction has nothing to do with the MW phenomenon, it is irrelevant anyway.

Before I report on Our Mozzer's Boxing Day tweets, I would first like to publish a comment left on my blog entry of yesterday by Comrade Harps, which makes for VERY interesting reading:

comrade harps26 December 2012 13:18
Ah, you've quoted one of my favourite Smiths songs. Unlovable is so underrated, but it means so much to me.

Excuse me if I go off on a bit of an off-topic lyric clue hunt for completeness. I dare not post in the Low place.

It's odd that neither self-appointed Moz detectives, Messrs Rogan and Goddard, have never noted in their volumes that "I wear black on the outside, because black is how I feel on the inside" and "if I seem a little stange, well that's because I am" are sourced from a Jeam Dean penned letter. I once had a James Dean biography that featured a picture of the letter and was reading it and found these familiar lines. Or maybe I dreamed it?

They have also missed that my real-world namesake, Glenn, in Death At One's Elbow, is probably inspired from a Dean letter to his girlfriend, Barbara Glenn, where he says "I want to die". See it here: http://www.lettersofnote.com/2010/08/wow-am-i-fucked-up.html Note that James Dean also calls her Honey, which echoes in Honey You Know Where To Find Me.

Anyway, a belated merry xmas to one and all.




JAMES DEAN AND BARBARA GLENN


Our Mozzer reappeared in the Twitterdilly Arms today at around 2pm. The effect of the Christmas Day gin had probably worn off, and one of his first actions was to reply to '@Derekandres', who had asked why Our Mozzer only had 8,096 followers. Our Mozzer said, "Because I'm not really Morrissey - I'm a parody. A ghost. A shadow. A longed-for poetic uncle. A despised older brother." As I type this, Our Mozzer's follower numbers have actually fallen to 8,065, so I am guessing that we have lost Derek, along with 30 others who took Our Mozzer at his word. I LOVE MORRISSEYSWORLD!!!!! (Sorry, I got a little over excited there.)

OUR MOZZER'S BOXING DAY HIGHLIGHTS IN THE TWITTERDILLY ARMS"

"The Americans are petitioning the US govt to deport Piers Morgan. The only question is - where to? We don't want him back. Try Syria?"

"Adjusting to irrelevancy is the main challenge of growing old. The older we get, the happier we are to be nothing at all."

"@JamesArthur23 Meaningless X Factory victory and... straight to 1.3 million followers. What does it mean?"

"Fuck Morrissey Solo"

"MorrisseysWorld is now almost over. Just a few things left to say."

It is now 7.30pm and Our Mozzer is still in the Twitterdilly Arms, so I shall report more tomorrow.....or it may have to be the day after, as I'm hosting an afternoon 'Vinyl Party' tomorrow for a few friends.

Sorry about the above bit going all small, I've no idea why it has hapened and I have no idea how to change it!
*Goes off singing* I am the last of the famous, international rat boys

10 comments:

  1. So glad to hear that the black cloud has lifted, Rats. One's spirits can't help but be lifted by Our Mozzer's recent twit marathon - a splendid Christmas present, though I was disappointed that I had to miss most of today's session. If it's true that MW will be ending soon (which I hate to think about), we should all grab him while we still have the time.

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  2. Well, Our Mozzer has been on top form over the past few days. I wish I could have joined you all, but the combination of work, family & a stinking cold took over.

    I am pleased to see you back blogging again Rats.

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  3. This recap is a real hoot, thanks for posting it!

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  4. Well Rat, this proves you're feeling better and I'm happy for you! Our Moz Twitterdilly and Morrisseyworld are always fine places, for people who do'nt like this ther's so-low...de gustibus non disputandum est!

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  5. Many thanks for the recap of our Moz's antics over the Xmas days.
    His presence was a lovely and unexpected surprise.
    I am sorry that due to other commitments, I could not be part of
    the whole experience.

    I am so glad that your ' black dog ' has left you Rats.

    The Twitterdilly Arms is my favourite watering-hole. Graffiti and all !

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  6. More magnificent blogging from the semi-literate author of a truly semi-mesmerizing blog thing.

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  7. Thanks for the quote and shout out.

    Maybe it's just the Because I Am bit that's quoted; I'm not sure, as I don't have the book anymore and it was probably last seen about 20 years ago. It could be just the quote in the letter that I linked to. Either way, these are references clearly missed by Rogan and Goddard, neither of whom appear to rate these 2 songs highly.

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