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Friday, 8 March 2013

Day 541 - Comatose In Seattle

Yesterday's 'live' blog seemed to work quite well, until it got to about 5.30 pm, when I then had dinner, followed by a 2 hour soak in the bath, which resulted in me somewhat losing the impetuous to write anything else, so instead, I settled in to a night in front of the telly, which consisted of a bit of football, a new drama on BBC1 and the England vs New Zealand cricket match. I am afraid to report that England are not fairing very well, although Jimmy Anderson has taken four wickets, so if our batsmen can keep their end's up, we might just about avoid defeat.


JIMMY ANDERSON - LETHAL WITH THE BALL


I did sneak a brief look at the internet during the evening, but when I read on the SoLow place that the a cappella song during the pause in 'Speedway' was 'Lazy Sunbathers', I realised that all that excitement of early Thursday morning was quashed, good and proper, so there really was nothing more to write about ANYWAY! (Video of 'Speedway' + 'Sunbathers' and 'Maladjusted: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTfEKkXN4eM)

So, if Broken hadn't been tweeting to tell us that 'What Difference Does It Make' had appeared in the 'Speedway' pause, what WAS the relevance of his tweet? It could of course have been a prediction that 'Difference' would be sung at the next concert, tonight in Portland, but if that ever WAS the plan, I have probably scuppered it by mentioning it. *Kicks self* *Self kicks back* The other part of Broken's tweet had been to mention Moz playing in "England and LA - again", so although the England concert(s) had already been mentioned in my 'fake' interview, Broken's revelation about ANOTHER LA concert is an exclusive. We will now have to wait and see if yet ANOTHER of Broken's predictions comes true.

A couple more videos have appeared from Seattle on Youtube, of 'Action' and 'Killed Me', but apart from that, there is NOTHING on SoLow telling us what Morrissey said during the concert, and NO in depth reviews. ANYTHING could have happened in Seattle, and we'll never know about it. The people of Seattle are obviously comatose...... and don't like SoLow.

I have another very busy day today, and a very busy weekend of sport ahead of me, so this will be my last blog entry until Monday, when I will try and report back on events from the concerts in Portland tonight and San Francisco on Saturday.

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall exterior - Photo by Jim Lykins
THE OUTSIDE OF THE ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL, PORTLAND


Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall interior - Photo by Jim Lykins
ARLENE'S INSIDES

THE REGENCY BALLROOM, SAN FRANCISCO, WHERE MORRISSEY PLAYS ON SATURDAY

Broken returned to the Twitterdilly Arms briefly yesterday, once again concentrating mainly on the 'charms' of Cristiano Ronaldo, who he actually tweeted to ask out on a date...... without reply, but there were some other snippets, including the revelation that Our Mozzer is working on a new parody piece. Here are Broken's highlights from yesterday:

In response to me saying that 'Fluff' was stuck in MorrisseysWorld and wanted to give the  '@MorrisseysWorld' account back - "@TheRatsBack MorrisseysWorld is a delightful place to be stuck isn't it?" This response was MOST UNHELPFUL, and I am STILL burdened with the ownership of the account, which I really don't want! I sent a message back saying, "@brokenreturns He says there is a smell of despair in there.... but he quite likes the antique snooker table." I'm guessing this gave Broken a chuckle as he re-tweeted it, but it STILL doesn't help!

JUDD TRUMP GETTING 'IN TO POSITION' ON OUR MOZZER'S ANTIQUE SNOOKER TABLE..... NOT 'ARF

BROKEN'S HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:


"I'm glad that Morrissey realises how much love MW and BlueRoseSociety have for him."

"I wear gold on the outside because gold is how I feel on the outside." I wonder if this is a reference to Morrissey's gold nail varnish...... not that Broken has ANYTHING whatsoever to do with Morrissey.... obviously!

In response to GOB asking if it were wrong to hanker after Morrissey - "@GirlOnBike1102 Lizzy would probably faint if Morrissey were to remove his shirt in her conservatory."

"I'm the last remnant of MorrisseysWorld. I'm the stink in the loo after you've sprayed the air freshner." You have to take your hat off to the 'person' behind the 'Broken' account, he plays this character SO well. I can almost picture him, but I have a request, I would dearly LOVE Broken to leave a comment on this blog, describing himself in FULL detail, so that we can build a better picture. I can't decide if he is a good looking man in his thirties, or a 'plain' looking man who thinks he is better looking than he really is, and is carrying a little too much weight!


WEARING GOLD ON THE OUTSIDE, BUT IS THIS THE BROKEN 'HE' SEES IN THE MIRROR, OR THE ONE HE THINKS HE SEES?


BROKEN'S HIGHLIGHTS CONTINUED:

In response to Russell Brand tweeting about watching David Icke - "@rustyrockets @davidicke David Icke and Russell Brand star in the as-yet-unpublished MorrisseysWorld article. David becomes 'Sir David.' Sir David compares Morrissey's latest recorded masterpieces unfavourably to those of his son Gareth. Sir David notes that M's songs have.. 'that great sound you get when you record a song in a damp basement' but Sir David feels Gareth's sense of melody and more overtly conspiratorial lyrics give him the slight edge. However Sir David acknowledges track eleven on 'YOR' as a masterpiece to rival Gareth's finest recorded works."  I personally think that Broken was making this story up as he was going along, but it would be GREAT to see it in full on the MorrisseysWorld blog.

L TO R: GARETH ICKE, MIKE JOYCE, SIR DAVID ICKE AND 'BROKEN' (THE WHITE CARLTON PALMER)


It is great to see that Russell Brand has once again entered Morrissey's life, and if anybody is wondering how this happened, after Moz allegedly failed to reply to Brand's email in New Zealand, I can reveal all. Here are the emails that went between the two:

FROM: MORRISSEY
TO: RUSSELL BRAND
DATE: FEB 13TH 2013

Dear Russell Brand, I have heard nothing from you since your email to me in Wellington, Nude Zealand in late two thousand and twelve, so I am presuming you have ignored my response. Despite your ignorance, I hope life is treating you, well, is life treating you?

Yours, probably to be ignored again,

Morr-ee-say

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FROM: RUSSELL BRAND
TO: MORISSEY
DATE: FEB 13TH 2013

Dear Morr-ee-say, I would never, ever, ever, ever ignore you and can only presume that your email to me got lost somewhere in the deep chasms of cyber space. You are more important to me than life itself, and I thought it were you who were ignoring me. As I recently told The Sun newspaper, "it's like having a woman in your life who doesn't quite fancy you enough." Thank you for enquiring after my well being, life continues to treat me with the disdain that I deserve.

Yours, never ignoringly, and to do with as you please

Rustle

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FROM: MORRISSEY
TO: RUSSELL BRAND
DATE: FEB 16TH 2013

Dear Brittle Rand (the South African currency ain't like what it used to be)
It may have slipped your notice, what with you being a high flying c-lebrity and all, that I have been lying on my death bed these past few weeks, and yet, despite your grovelling apology of an email, you see fit not to bother asking after my health, even though I, despite being within the grim reaper's grasp, enquired about your current well being. How can you be so wretched?
   Despite your complete lack of caring or interest, here I am, once again trying my upmost to keep our relationship going. My response to your Nude Zealand email WASN'T lost in cyber space, as you suggested, I didn't send a response, and that in itself WAS my response. I, the ignored king of popular music, had become bored of your tiresome 'celebrity' antics, and so decided to banish you from my court, but your heart felt words to The Sun made me very slightly smile, which is why I decided to email you the other day. As you know, I am a traditionalist, and would have preferred to have sent my olive branch by dove rather than email, but I would never use an animal against it's will, and as no doves approached me, asking to fly to your Hackney squat with the olive branch, I have resorted to this awful means of communication.
  If I manage to escape death, I will soon be recommencing my record breaking tour, and have decided to invite you along to the Staples Center on March 1st, where Patrick Dempsey will be introducing me onto the stage. I am also in the process of booking Hollywood High School for the following evening, so if you would like to attend that concert too, then I will let you have a ticket at a slightly reduced price.

Not Yours

The Woman who doesn't, and she never did


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FROM: RUSSELL BRAND
TO: MORRISSEY
DATE: FEBRUARY 16TH 2013

My Dearest Love (too cheesy? Oh to hell with it, I love you and I don't care who knows)
I do hope you are managing to recover from your current illness (better late than never, or is the damage done?) and that you will soon be back on stage, up and at 'em. I am supposed to be back in Blighty on March 1st, organising my 'Give It Up For Comic Relief' concert, but I would walk across broken bracken (and any other fern) to attend your two concerts in Hollywood, so I will be there! I am very envious that Patrick D is introducing you at Staples, is there any way that I could introduce you at the school gig? I'll still pay for the ticket!
 You don't know how much it means to me to be back in your life, I thank you from the very depths of the very depths. I'm sure you'll say no, but would you accompany me to a pre-Oscars party next Saturday at Chateau Marmont?

Anyones

Brittle

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FROM: MORRISSEY
TO: RUSSELL BRAND
DATE: FEBRUARY 18TH

Dear Gristle Bandage
In answer to your four questions; yes, I guess not, against my better judgement yes but I'll tell you what to say and yes, why not.

I'm sorry if your 'Comic Grief' concert suffers because you aren't there to organise it, but I would imagine that it will be an unorganised shambles either way. Perhaps Jimmy Carr can step in to be you? I shall see you at the Chateau at 10.30 pm on Saturday, where we shall discuss other matters further.

Dismissed

M

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MOZ AND BRAND AT CHATEAU MARMONT


And finally for today, the main story in the British media this morning is that of Justin Bieber leaving a London concert early yesterday because of breathing difficulties. Bieber continues to steal ALL of Morrissey's marketing ploys; he has copied 'the quiff', the 'heart' and now the 'breathing difficulties', but he is peaking too early, as being rushed to hospital from the O2 when you are at the height of your fame is UNNECESSARY publicity, it is far better to wait until you are playing a leisure centre in Swindon, with your career in free fall, THAT'S when you need the publicity! It is surely just a matter of time before Bieber starts a secret blog, but then what?

Please leave all observations regarding the concerts tonight and Saturday in the comments box below.
Back Monday.

21 comments:

  1. I can't wait for bieber to discover Morrissey.
    (and he will) #morrissey will be trending
    for days amongst his beliebers. it will be
    like the response to V. giving moz the B.R ring
    and the overheard voices going BLUE ... ROSE
    ... SOCIETY ???
    except it will be Morr-ee-say.
    oh yes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my sad and.awful voice lol :-)

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    2. no!!!! I loved how eloquent + sincere you sounded!!
      I've waited for someone to speak like you
      every gig I've seen recently!
      - check out my blog, lots of moz!

      Delete
    3. :-)
      post the.link and I will check it out :-)


      the lad in front of me was afraid to speak to our mozzer :-)

      Delete
    4. sorry!!
      http://edgeindustrialphotography.blogspot.co.uk/
      click the moz pic on the right (under the gifs)

      haha I would've been like him.
      luckily brave ones are about:)

      Delete
  2. Thanks for blogging. Love the email exchange! It was good to see Broken back on form last night!

    ReplyDelete
  3. still at this? blimey charlie

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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please bring Our Mozzer back. He is desperately missed and needed. Thank you - Heathercat

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. I would love to read the supposed article starring Icke and Brand - it sounds hysterically funny. Oh, how Broken loves to tease us. We're so thankful that he's still around as a final remnant - he's certainly much more appreciated than the stink in the loo :) Enjoyed the email exchange, Rats. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

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  6. Funny email exchanges Rats!

    I miss the MW blog very much, I dearly hope it will return at some point. If, however it doesn't I will always have cherished memories.

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  7. A tweet from @endhits at the Portland concert: "Morrissey quips that he found his backing band by placing an ad in a naturist magazine. (Naturist means nudist, right?)"

    Sounds like something from a MW parody, lol :)

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  8. The email banter was funny! I also hope the MW blog returns and I'm sure the as yet unpublished article featuring Icke and Brand would be a hoot!
    Have a nice weekend!

    Monti

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  9. In no particular order :

    I am thrilled to bits that a new parody piece is being written for the MW blog - can't wait !!

    I love the email interactions between Our Moz and Gristle Brand, totally brilliant. It is
    good to know that Moz has moved on from his fax machine to emails or has he ??

    Justin Bieber - what a total twit. The bird in the gilded cage is trying to escape methinks.
    Bite the hand that feeds you why don't you ? Silly, silly boy.

    I have been fantasising about Mr M stripping off in my conservatory, if I had one and if only. * dreams *

    2 hours in the bath Rats, what were you doing in there ??!!
    Please keep blogging.

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  10. So sorry to hear about the San Fran cancellation. Hopefully this is just a minor setback and Morrissey's condition will soon improve. Much love to Moz - get well soon x

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  11. What really :-0 san Francisco cancel

    Oh no

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  12. Sorry to hear SF concert was cancelled. Hope Moz is not too sick, he may have to learn to pace himself, maybe not have concerts so close together---at least until he gets his strength back. Looks like the old Bieber is crashing, wonder what is going on in his life, as you said it way to soon for him to behave like this. Am looking forward to return of MW and new parody piece. Hope rest of your weekend is pleasant, noted it was Mother's Day for you so I imagine you will be quite busy. Thoughts, prayers and Get well wishes to Moz hope he just needs the rest #BlueRoseSociety

    ReplyDelete

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