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Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Day 679 - TWTWTW... FTM Is Tipped the Wink as Morrissey's Backers Run Out of Petrol, MW Is Back, Part of an EXCLUSIVE Interview and more!

Last Tuesday I jetted off on holiday to the Canary Islands, happy in the knowledge that I was to be away from the internet for a week, with NOTHING happening in the world of Morrissey, as we awaited the eventual start of his tour in Argentina next week. How wrong I was!

No sooner had I left than BAM (No, not the Brooklyn Academy of Music, that has nothing to do with anything here, except for the fact that they keep sending me regular emails telling me what's on at their lovely theatre (theater), just because I happened to visit it earlier this year. If they think I'm going to hop on a plane to New York just to come and watch their 'Summer Youth Programs (Programmes)', then they are sadly mistaken!) Where was I before that long winded bracket started? Oh yes... No sooner had I left (the UK for my holiday in the Canaries (Tenerife to be precise), then BAM, the MorrisseysWorld blog suddenly reappeared with the following article -
 'Our Mozzer pledges to return if Morrissey gives one of the following signs:' This was followed by a list of:
1. Morrissey announces a British concert in a leisure centre (Ed - Evens Favourite)
2. an official photograph with a blue rose and Morrissey together (20/1)
3. Morrissey sings or quotes "Baby" by Justin Bieber live or in an interview (33/1)
4. Morrissey gives an official interview to FollowingTheMozziah.Blogspot.Com (1000/1)

This was then followed by a hilarious "brief snippet" of 'The Mozzer World Order Part 2', which was no doubt written months ago.

This BAM was then immediately followed by WHAM (No, not George and Andrew getting back together with Pepsi & Shirley)... a posting on my blog by Morrissey, which read:

Watch closely. L00K.

This was then followed by CALAM (ITY). A TTY statement announcing that the South American tour was off because the promotors had no petrol money left (or something like that!) The TTY statement was actually entitled 'If I By Chance Your Eye Offend You', which I believe is a Houseman quote. The "Watch closely", "LooK" and 'Eye' references were all no doubt coincidental, and the fact that the TTY statement is dated July 19th makes it l'oo'k as though the comment on my blog came later, but it's all smoke and mirrors, I can confirm that the TTY statement DEFINITELY WASN'T THERE when the above was posted on my blog... or WAS it?

Despite Our Mozzer declaring that the MW site would "remain dead" unless one of the four listed things occurred, on Sunday 21st July, ANOTHER hugely amusing article appeared, entitled 'The Art Of Doing Nothing', and then yesterday, the piece considered by some to be Our Mozzer's finest hour was republished, 'A Brief Surrealist Essay on Emnity', along with a few other old favourites including 'Bans Committee'.

The new articles (and the old of course), really are very good, so are we to see more, or does one of the 4 in the list now have to happen first?

Whilst I idled my week away in the sun, I apparently missed a few sessions of Our Mozzer in the MW chat room, and although somebody has kindly published a couple of the things mentioned on my blog, I have no idea what else may have been said, so if you were there, please leave comment to let me know. From the comments that HAVE been left, it would appear the Our Mozzer started to answer the interview questions that members of the BRS posted months ago. Here are the questions and answers:

Climmy Worseapple Question:
Sometimes, when I cry, I sit with a mirror before me and imagine that I am my own nonexistent disillusioned long-term partner, looking with scorn at my puffy, leaking face - immune to the rotting diseases of affection and empathy for "myself" thanks to a tough course of painful injections and some hard-earned antibodies. Your recent release of 'Last of the Famous International Playboys', did not make it into the Top 100 in the UK, did this disappoint you?

Morrissey1959 response:
Now that I'm about as relevant as a bar of soap at a heavy metal gathering, it came as little surprise that my single failed to chart. The noise generation want immediate, unimaginative melody, words attuned to the repulsive cannabis-fuelled orgy that passes for pop culture these days, and electronic sounds. I gave them... well, I gave them exactly that - and it still failed!
Similarly my mystique could never be compared to that of Garbo. I would compare myself to Julie Goodyear, or, at a push, Larry Grayson.

Lizzycatmoz Question:
My question for Morrissey AKA Our Mozzer is, and I consider this to be 'personal' however not ' personal life.' Having been extremely ill and on IV drips for 5 weeks, I'm sure the experience changed you, but what I'd really like to know, but am afraid to ask, so am relying on that b**tard Rat to completely change and 'sex up' my question a bit, is: You have used lots of homoerotic imagery in your art over the years, and yet I have found you quite flirty, do you bat for both sides?

Morrissey1959 response:
I don't bat at all. And on the odd occasion I've tried, the balls always seem to catch me off-guard.

MozzeriansATW Question:
Will you ever let everyone know that you do know about the BlueRosESociety? Will you let it be known?

Morrissey1959 response:
One day the world will hear who is behind MorrisseysWorld. I firmly believe this experience will go down as one of the most bizarre and unprecedented in history.
For years I was available.
And only a handful noticed.

Lizzycatmoz Question:
It must be a unique experience that someone as famous and iconic as you, allows us to interact with you. I still can't believe that it happens even after 2 years.

Morrissey1959 response:
Well I am not Morrissey
But yes, I take your point
I wonder how history will judge this experiment
insanity? Genius? The desperation of an artist in decline? A intimate and beautiful digression?
Once the public at large know this site will vanish only a small number will have seen everything, and will understand.

There is so much more that I wanted to write today, but I have run out of time. I am off to play cricket, and tomorrow I am away watching cricket in a place called Hook. I have no time to mention Moz being photographed in an LA record shop, being spotted at a Savage concert, the Guardian writing Morrissey off YET AGAIN, Rustic Bland including a Moz song on Des Island Discs (well done Rustle for not choosing a cliche Smiths song) etc etc. I haven't even found time to break up my blog with some amusing photos, so I doubt anybody is still reading this far down the page, but what am I to do... my cricket team need me, so off I must trot.

Before I go, I MUST mention that Comrade Harps has written a hysterical parody piece entitled 'These Men Here'. Just as Morrissey the lyricist influenced many bands with his writing, his alter ego, 'Our Mozzer', is doing the same with his satirical writing. I hope we see more from Comrade Harps, his first piece really is very, very funny. Read here :

And finally for today, 'GirlWithout' has pointed out that the 'Still Whorin' Father' reference comes from a piece written on Solow on Boxing Day 2009 by Father Neil Horan. See if you recognise the writing style:

*Goes off humming 'Baby' by Biebs*


  1. I hope you enjoyed your holiday Rats - welcome back !

    Our Mozzer has inhabited the chat room for the last four evenings
    ( UK time ) Much has been discussed and I am thrilled to have
    been one of the lucky ones interacting with him regularly.

    I am sorry to see that despite the fact that The Mozziah asked that
    his replies to the Blue Rose questions were not repeated,
    somebody has recorded his answers and passed them to you.

    Our Moz will not feel comfortable in chat if he cannot trust
    the people in there or ' looking through the window.'
    What a shame it would be if he stopped visiting chat for this reason.

    1. I'm afraid this is nonsense. The chat window is open for anybody to see, so anything said there must be at risk of appearing elsewhere. If people want to chat in an enclosed environment they will have to find a more suitable tool.

    2. *serious face*

      Anonymous prankster in public chat room issues order for secrecy LOOOL

      Anonymous prankster in public chat room feels uncomfortable because people are peering through the window LOOOOOOOL

  2. Good day whiskers, hope the sandcastle building went well, yes things have gone a bit pear shaped, a bit like my waistline, still we are still alive and well and that's the main thing, people in the chat you say, it's a bit like visiting the confessional booth in church...sssshhhh!!!!

  3. Morrissey1959:
    The joy of MW has been extinguished somehow
    In the early days, it felt essential; it felt like we were doing something together that was important, beautiful, strange
    Now we're just reliving the past
    It feels like it's dead and we're trying to get its heart started again
    But after 3 rounds of adrenaline, it's flatlining
    I gave all I had to twitter and I was ignored
    I provided hundreds of Wildean tweets and people preferred Joey Essex and Katie Price
    I spent thousands of hours on the blog, and people said it was crap without reading it - and that was just my fans!
    I didn't expect mass acceptance but I did expect a few people to follow me
    I got a handful
    You were the special few, the home crowd
    Yet the intimacy couldn't have been better
    Had I had 10 million followers, I could never have bonded as closely with you as I did
    It was perfect in that regard and wonderfully oblique
    But it is dead
    The time of the blog was 2009-2012

    1. that is because you stepped on other people for the sake of attention. You will reap what you sow.

  4. that NotMorrissey2 lad is a trip! I hear Yoko Ono follows him.

  5. Glad to have you back Rats!

    It has been a joy to have the MW blog & Our Mozzer back in town. It was an unexpected & warmly welcomed surprise.

  6. Welcome back, Rats! You chose quite a week to be away on holiday, but hopefully you enjoyed your respite in the sun. What a pleasure it's been to have the opportunity to chat with Our Mozzer for the past few days. I love his answers to the interview questions - clever and witty as always - but, as Lizzy said, he might not appreciate seeing them here. I asked him to please share his responses to more of the questions, but he declined. He did ask for suggestions for a UK leisure centre, so maybe there is a possibility of the first sign on the list happening. It would be fantastic if Mozzer's health and other circumstances would allow that. Hope we see the MW blog stay open for a while. Lastly, I too enjoyed Comrade Harps' parody and recommend it to anyone who hasn't read it. Happy cricketing, Ratty!

  7. Hello Rats! Happy to have you back! Going to read Comrade Harp's parody now!

  8. Finally!
    *penny drops*

  9. Pennies dropping here too. Thought the TWTWTW was Rats hooting like a constipated owl.


    1. Please enlighten me. Thank you.

    2. That Was The Week That Was.


    3. Thank you GWO - sadly I am old enough to remember that programme ........

  10. Thank you to Rats for the parody promotion and to girlwithout for the RT and to heathercat for your kind words of appreciation.

    Here's that link again:

    1. hello Comrade I loved the parody piece too!


    2. Comrade Harps you have a real talent, your parody was very funny - congratulations !

  11. Thank you Ratty for putting up the question & the answer he gave me...It was a pleasure to have chatted up abit with him...

  12. How is it irrelevant who this was? Some of you were convinced you were talking to Morrissey - YOU WERE NOT. You let yourselves be manipulated by a hoaxer (fake letters/fake interviews). A Solow user who has had so many disguises you've probably talked to him more than you realise. You've been played. Yet still you thank him? You clearly can't accept you were talking to "the hoaxer" who quite a few of us know from Solow (except the mods over there who are too thick to work it out).

    1. It would appear that it is YOU my anonymous friend, who is "too thick to work it out". Nobody has been "played" with here, but we have had an unbelievable ride with......... Morrissey.

      I'm sorry that you missed out, but never mind, perhaps Justin Bieber will copy Mozzer's lead and create something similar in twenty years time, and you might discover it first. Keep your eyes peeled, old son.

      Gemma Dodger

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