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Wednesday, 16 October 2013

Day 763 - The Last Day

My blog entry of yesterday, which included the elegantly written email exchange between Morrissey and Kate Ryan, once again drew a comment from The Mozziah himself, although it wasn't exactly complimentary. Here it is:

I am sad, and I am plain, and I am old, and... the c*nt didn't even post the comments of the male Dot Cotton with mad eyes, a professorial former novelist and a fat rhythm guitarist with a microwaveable meat pie in his pocket.

It's like I hardly even exist.

Don't you find it strange that a man capable of the writing above chooses to write in this vulgar fashion by choice? What does this mean?

And - why do I bother?

The "comments" that Morrissey was referring to in his first sentence above, were comments left on my blog (by him in various guises) from Day 758, so to avoid being called a c*nt again, here are the comments from; 'The Male Dot Cotton with Mad Eyes' (ie Russell Brand), 'A Professional Former Novelist' (ie Michael Bracewell) and 'A Fat Rhythm Guitarist with A Microwaveable Meat Pie in His Pocket' (ie Boz Boorer) PLUS a few other comments thrown in:

Good to see you back sir. I must say I was worried, not having seen you since I burnt that pain au raisin in America. I'm very sorry, sir, I don't know what I was thinking. I can only offer the excuse that my mind isn't as strong as yours, sir, not by half, well you know that from Monopoly and Trivial Pursuit, sir, and with your huge brain, your able to write books, pen classic albums and even make withering socio-politicalm commentary delivered with a plumb. I am in awe, sir, in awe. Well, I bid you Godspeed. Good luck with the book and I'm always here sir, if you require any baking assistanceship or indeed someone to bring you tea. Roll on October 17th, a red letter day for the entire nation, or better - the civilised world.

Boz Boorer

Morr-ee-say, your book floored me. The narrative is mesmerising, the mystery is lung-constricting, and the writing is imbued with flair, simplicity and oodles of irony and bleak humour. Through it all three things shine through: loneliness, intelligence and pain au raisin!

Mikey Bracewell

It's a good book, Steven, but you could have been nicer about that lovely man. I'll meet you for tea and scones when Corrie's on, love. Don't forget to do your washing up.


Oh Morrissey! You're a right 'un, you are! The WAY you managed to deliver a devastating critique to THAT MAN by barely making reference to the entire phenomenon was... devastating in its weightless spite. You, sir, are LORD MUDSLIDE. You are the man who saved me; you are the man I love; you are a splinter of love and a whole lorry load of hate. The Blog was the burlesque to the book's grand, spare beauty and ambition. To summarise, to encapsulate, to breathe life and hope and pain and acne into something as mysterious, elegant, absent and frankly Dickensian as your fifty four years... they said it couldn't be done, it couldn't be done! IT COULDN'T BE DONE! Well, you have done it, Oh magisterial leader of the disenfranchised, oh poet of the heartless, oh spawn of ordinariness turned to extraordinariness, oh tart of my heart!

Morrissey, this world doesn't deserve you. This world didn't deserve your blog. It doesn't deserve your book or your forthcoming album and tour.

Still, you go on giving. Still you go on taking.

Thank you from the Blue Rose Society for the journey, which will soon end. And thank you for the laughs since 2009. My heart aches for the memories. The book will change everything. It will surprise, intoxicate and perhaps criminalise.

Will THE BLUR ROSE SOCIETY recognise the signs?

Russell, 12th October, 2013.

I foresee something, my log is talking to me. Shhhhh...

My log says someone is stirring, something is about to happen. My log has seen the book and it is going to shock the world. My log says blue rose will not be mentioned but many oblique references will be made. And Morrissey will be seen again with a blue rose. Yes, a rose that is blue. A picture on the wall shakes and the girl cries. A spanner is what it's all about. Shhhhh now. Shhhhhush. In five days, a stem and a smile. iN SIX DAYS A quesTION. dEAD BLUE ROSE. FIRST LETTERS. YES.

Margaret Lanterman

9/10 for effort. 7/10 for attainment. 10/10 for enigmatic otherness factor. A future classic of the English as a Second Language genre!

Well done.

He write it in ten year and I read it in ten dayses and it is good book. This is even better than his Hector song. Well, I liked it and I will read again, will not take ten days this time.

Jesse T

Well done Morrissey!

Jonathan Ross

One of the best books I've ever read about you, Morrissey! When it hits the shelves, a few people will be looking for that blog of yours.. poof! Gone! My review? Gone! Only FTM remains!!

They'll never figure it out. This thing will go to the grave as the greatest secret of all.

Walter Ego, Freelance writer and former Morrissey interviewer

Meanwhile, back in the REAL world, the REAL Boz Boorer yesterday held a question and answer session on facebook, and was asked by a fan, Dean aka '@W3Adams', questions about MorrisseysWorld. Here is the transcript:

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Poor old Boz, WHAT could he possibly say? He can NEVER admit to knowing anything about MorrisseysWorld. FOUR denials in a row, including, "i don't know what that i sorry." I don't believe I've ever seen somebody actually stutter whilst answering a question in type!

The comment left by Margaret Lanterman (aka Log Lady) on my blog was VERY interesting, especially this bit:

"And Morrissey will be seen again with a blue rose. Yes, a rose that is blue. A picture on the wall shakes and the girl cries. A spanner is what it's all about. Shhhhh now. Shhhhhush. In five days, a stem and a smile. iN SIX DAYS A quesTION. dEAD BLUE ROSE. FIRST LETTERS. YES."

Margaret's predictions on the MW blog ALWAYS came true, so WHAT is going to happen on October 18th ("a stem and a smile") and the 19th ("A quesTION")? The mention of, "a blue rose", "a picture" and "the girl" is interesting too, because 'Broken' has left a comment on my blog entry of yesterday, and he too mentions all three. See here:

This site isn't by Morrissey. But he must be a fan! None of you even noticed something, perhaps the most interesting MW coincidence yet.

Remember Buck Toothed Tweeter, introduced by MW? That person had as location: "The Disunited Kingdom." Morrissey cited this in one of his recent outbursts. Without MW to document the coincidences, you never seem to notice.

A blue rose will be seen and a photograph or painting of a woman. Pain au raisin is not on the menu.

For those who are new to this blog of mine, the 'Buck Toothed Tweeter' that Broken refers to was a character by the name of '@Bucktoothedboy', who appeared in this whole phenomenon in October 2011, but disappeared after a month or two (you'll have to read back through my blog for more details, but at the time, it was widely suspected that Buck was Russell Brand.)

The disunited kingdom outburst that Broken mentions has been found:

From 'Surely how I feel is not nothing?' posted on TTY 16 April 2013:

"Revenge was the vital juice of every move made by Thatcher, and her results produced the most dis-United Kingdom ever seen in history."

Today is the last day of a world without Morrissey's Autobiography, tomorrow I shall post a blog entry asking everybody to leave comment and observation as they work their way through 'The Book'.


  1. If the 'first page' being tweeted around today is for real then it is pure MorrisseysWorld. If it's not real then it should be.

    1. Just read it and I agree with you JG. It also sounds strangely familiar...............

  2. One pessoa, two pessoa,
    Three pessoa, four;
    Five pessoa, six pessoa,
    Seven pessoa, more!

    1. ....or less!
      Take away the pessoas and what are you left with.

  3. I shall look forward to reading the first page of " Autobiography " on Twitter. Genuine or not.
    I hope that the book critics have not already written their reviews and approach this book
    with fairness.
    Our Mozzer deserves it.
    I cannot believe that tomorrow the long-awaited tome will be available.
    I shall enjoy reading all of my Moz friend's comments on Ratty's blog.

    It is so good to have you regularly blogging again Rat, with all that is unfolding.

  4. Oh how i miss MW, oh what fun we had, hey that reminds me of a Madness song, how apt regards, manc lad

  5. I got my copy Today, on sale in Waterford Ireland!

    Haven't got a chance to read much (damn work) but so far so good!

    Nice pictures included, Family, James Maker, Linder, Jake.

    I haven't started at the beginning, what i have read so far covers early solo work, Jake and the Joyce trial.

    Nicely written, i had thought it would all be in a TTY statement style but its not, in fact its much more 'normal' than i had expected but clever and witty none the less.

    Looking forward to getting stuck into it later, i had thought he would tell very little (in terms of personal life), so far i have been pleasently surprised!!
    Posted by someone in Ireland on So-Low from me Lizzycatmoz

  6. Dear Rat, I'm very confused, I think I got to wai for your next post and i got to read the book as soon as possible, cheers!


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