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Thursday, 17 October 2013

Day 764 - It's Time The Tale Were Told

It is 9.30am, and I feel I have already read half of Morrissey's 'Autobiography' even though I haven't started it yet! I couldn't resist peeking at twitter, and already there are tweets about Morrissey's first relationship with a man at the age of 35, his thought of having a, "mewling minature monster" with a woman in 2000, his views on the NME (of course), Rough Trade's failures to get The Smiths debut album to Number 1.... I could go on, but instead, I shall start to read, although in some ways, I almost don't want to!

I welcome anybody to leave comments and observations. I expect to find NO mention of MorrisseysWorld, but perhaps a 'sign' or two may be hidden in the 457 pages. Eyes down, l'oo'K in.


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4.20 pm UK time UPDATE - I have been reading 'The Book' on and off all day, and it is mesmerizing, truly mesmerizing. I have quite a long way to go, but I shall read more later tonight. I really don't expect to find ANY reference whatsoever to the Blue Rose Society or to MorrisseysWorld, but Morrissey has arrived at his book signing in Gothenburg, and there are a vase of RED ROSES in front of his table. Who needs words?



*UPDATE*

It is now 11.30pm on SATURDAY OCT 19TH. Comments have been left on THIS VERY blog page by Our Mozzer,  instructing me, in the absence of the MorrisseysWorld blog, to post this parody piece:






Mikey Bracewell: ..."More to the point, Morrissey’s micro-critique of mainstream English literature and its hide-bound poets and novelists offers a pre-emptive strike against those critics grumbling about that fact that Autobiography has been published via the hallowed Penguin Classics imprint... 

*the seminal artiste juts out his jaw, nodding gently*

*Boz Boorer nods forcefully, spilling a little coffee down his West Ham shirt*

*the seminal artiste rolls his eyes and sighs*

Mikey Bracwell: "...For Boyd Tonkin, writing in this paper, Penguin’s decision to release the book as a Classic undermined “67 years of editorial rigueur and learning”. The Guardian’s John Harris was less damning in his review, but even he criticised the apparent “lack of editing..."

*the seminal artiste shakes his head, smirking, yet with pensive eyes.*

*Boz Boorer tuts and rolls his eyes, nodding at Morr-ee-say*

Mikey Bracewell: "If I may miss out a brief passage, Morr-ee-say...?"

Morrissey: "Which rag is it?"

Mikey Bracewell: "The Independent, Morr-ee-say."


Independent newspaper


Morrissey: "Permission granted."

Mikey Bracewell: *gazes down the webpage*... "ah, yes... What is so refreshing about Morrissey’s Autobiography is its very messiness, its deliriously florid, overblown prose style, its unwillingness to kowtow to a culture of literary formula and commercial pigeon-holing...."

*the iconic star brushes back his quiff, gazing sagely into space, then, lost in contemplation, sighs in agreement, or in recognition, or otherwise in disappointment*

Mikey Bracewell: "...A heavy-handed editor mindful of the book’s Classic branding might have abridged it down into a sedate, prize-worthy volume void of idiosyncrasy and colour. Thankfully – and yes, most likely because of Morrissey’s celebrity clout and reputation for intransigence – no such airbrushing has taken place..."

Morrissey: "A very thoughtful and true piece. I think he's realised my little book is about to redefine the literary zeitgeist in the same way as my music once redefined the musical zeitgeist."

Mikey Bracewell: "ONCE did, Morr-ee-say?"

*Mikey Bracewell gazes upon the artiste's oakish features unblinkingly, wondering*

Morrissey: "One can only redefine the zeitgeist once in any field of art by giving oneself entirely to it. Afterwards one's entire self is expressed in the art, so therefore how can one's own self change it again? One instantly becomes like a detonated hydrogen bomb... impotent, melted, unable to do anything of note ever again..."


Boz Boorer: "I didn't know you were impotent, sir-"

Morrissey: "For f**k's sake. Help the illiterate meat eater, Mikey. I'm afraid my own literary genius (Penguin Classics, etc) cannot condescend to such levels of woeful ineptitude; would be like Newton trying to mark GCSE homework in Clapton."

Mikey Bracewell: "Morr-ee-say is speaking metaphorically, Boz."

Boz Boorer: "Does his doctor know?"





Mikey Bracewell: *smiles thinly*

Morrissey: "Nice to know at least one hack can appreciate the iconoclasm and complexity of the book, and can comprehend the notion of the book not having to hide itself under the duvet of literary conventionality... edited beyond an inch of its soul..."

Mikey Bracewell: "Yes, Morr-ee-say. Of course they have no idea that, as editor, I had to do almost nothing-"

Morrissey: "-Almost?"

Mikey Bracewell: "Well, I did have to edit out a few of the fascinating and mesmerisings-"

Morrissey: "-But none of the extraordinaries, I hope..."

Mikey Bracewell: "It's a shame Penguin didn't fully appreciate your ironic-yet-sincere use of the words, Morr-ee-say. Irony, with sincere intent.. it hasn't been done before."

Morrissey: "If I'd wanted literary nous, true appreciation of one's ..."

*the artiste waves his hand aloft, seeking inspiration from the skies*

Morrissey: "... of one's... of one's essence... then... one would have chosen Faber. I realise Penguin Classics is rather lowbrow in so many ways, but this shouldn't necessarily be an obstacle in one's pursuit of literary perfection. Yes, they failed to grasp the structural importance of the M- and F- words; and yes they failed to understand irony-with-sincere-intent as a grand concept, but frankly what would one expect of a label happy to publish the dreariness that is Hans Christian Andersen? Besides with Winter coming, I need the coppers, what with the ever-rising overheads and severe levels of true inflation at least, Penguin Classics will guarantee I won't have to switch the lights off early on my next tour, won't have to truncate set-lists, won't have to shiver in the house all January..."

Mikey Bracewell: "Penguin Classics. It's splendid isn't it?"
*Mikey holds up the book like an old antique in a shop, admiring the simple elegance of the black cover with blue portrait*



Boz Boorer: "I like the way that journalist from the Independent realised a book can still be great despite being messy and muddled, Mozzer. What makes me so cross is that the music journalists don't realise the same's true of your albums. What did he write again?... What makes autobiography great is its very messiness... now WHY can't Petridis realise the same is true of Years of Refusal, sir?"

Morrissey: "Well, quite, Boz. Petriditis did once write in the G***dian that one singer in particular was fabulous because he/she sang OUT OF TUNE. Now in that context, isn't it a little ironic for the same publication to criticise a writer for being unable to write, as John Harris has apparently done?"

Mikey Bracewell: *smiles, sips some tea, squeezes his lips gently together*

Morrissey: "Typical Hack. Harris - isn't that the c**t that gave Quarry a bad review? Philistine."

Mikey Bracewell: *nods invitingly*

Morrissey: "Perhaps if he would wash his hair and lose some weight, he would grow to love my recent output. I'm afraid one's days of churning out tenement block poems and bedsit melancholia for the greasy-haired and plump are long-gone. Old Harris will need to adjust his perceptions, have a proper wash and go on a diet, if he intends to benefit from one's more recent works..."



Boz Boorer: "...Sir, five stars in the Telegraph. This one doesn't even complain about your poor grammar, sir-"

Morrissey: "-That's not my poor grammar, old son - it's Mikey's. He's the editor and he's to blame... from THAT perspective..."

Mikey Bracewell: "Well, I-"

Morrissey: "-Besides, there is a reason the c**t can't get a novel published for love nor money, you know. Perhaps it has something to do with his more prosaic, less DELIRIOUSLY FLORID style... I'm more than happy to arrange a few creative writing lessons for you Mikey, if you're interested of course..."

Mikey Bracewell: "I don't think-"

Morrissey: "-Yes, five stars in the Telegraph. There, you see. Short hair. Decent incomes. Nice detached houses in the Cheshire green belt. Successful in their own fields. One's modern fanbase. None of these whingeing, greasy-haired left wing music hacks and council house wasters... Harris is, I'm afraid, like Petriditis, making a grave mistake. Credibility in tatters. Career in its terminal phase. Wheezing at rest. On home oxygen. Harris and Petriditis: they are to I as The Christian Monitor was to Old Oscar."

Mikey Bracewell: "Dreadful men."
Morrissey: "Barely. Garrulous fame-whores... tarts... loose women..."

Boz Boorer: "I had no idea you were so good at writing sir. To have a Penguin Classic in your own lifetime is amazing. You are up there with Tolstoy, Enid Blyton and Agatha Christie now, sir, up there with the greats..."

*the artiste taps his fingers on the coffee table irascibly before bursting into uncontrollable laugher*

20121121-bryan-adams-x595-1353520909


Boz Boorer: "You look genuinely thrilled, sir. To be mentioned alongside Agatha Christie must be a real honour."

*Mikey Bracewell raises an eyebrow, sips his tea and smiles to himself*







151 comments:

  1. I am most definitely buying it. I am going to London tomorrow (I live abroad) and will buy it first thing as I set foot on British ground, but... I don't think I will read it either. Funny you'd say that too.
    I do love the Mozziah but I like the idea of not knowing every little detail about his life. I like mystery and up until now I didn't know much about his personal life, I only love his songs and personality and the fact he is vegetarian. But do I want to know any more? I am not sure.
    It might remain in my own library like something I know is there but will I ever open it? Yes, to look at the photos of his beautifulness. That might be all.
    Am I odd?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I share your feeling, maybe we are odd both! I don't know yet if I'll read the book, just waiting...

      Delete
    2. Oh thanks Romina and Edgeindustrialphotography, I don't feel so odd anymore ;)

      Delete
    3. Still awaiting copy here in Oz - and I hadn't thought of it that way before, but now I suddenly do - can I bear lift the veil of his mystery? Is Morrissey's life best eluded to in song (and misquotes in interviews)?

      Delete
  2. Whats a cupcake grapple?... :D

    Bunbuns xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is it something to do with breasts ?

      Delete
  3. I don't know if I will ever finish it. Every time I go back to it I find myself going back to read an earlier bit again. This could be a long haul but worth it for the quality of the writing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Day 254 of my blog has us riddling over what was quoted during Speedway in Tucson on May 24th 2012. Autobiography reveals it is by Stevie Smith (Page 87).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ggrr at work..tell us what was said..manc

      Delete
  5. I have been laughing and crying reading Autobiography. It is beautifully written.
    I am sure that I will not take everything in first time around.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cupcakes!!? Cupcakes wiv blue and pink icing in Yor little tiny crib? Awe Bunnniiieeeeee. Thot is really a coincidence isn't it bunnnnnyyy eeeecauses it means Morrissey reads loony chatroom ramblings and quotes from them. Yes it does. *cries*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought it meant his tackle....

      Bunbury

      Delete
    2. Definitely breasts. He's talking about girls in that part.

      Delete
    3. Cupcakes... The Clouds have a different take on cupcakes, more like "bearded clams" I think: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfFENukgD6g

      Delete
  7. My eyes glide across the words with hunger, hankering to absorb every detail. Full of transparent expression, pain & laughter.
    Beautifully composed with deep sentiment.

    The light will never go out.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Having to endure several days of waiting for my copy to arrive, I can only say that if the entire book is as seductively written as the first page, it will undoubtedly prove to be an unparalleled delight for the soul and the senses. Just as I enjoyed re-reading the MW blog pieces several times over, I'm sure I'll be doing the same with The Book to fully savor its poetic beauty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is, Heather - an absolute joy to read. The writing style will remind you a lot of somebody or a place, can 't think why.

      Delete
  9. Who would have thought things spelt the wrong way..coincidence.. regards, manc lad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Heather just RT'd a couple of tweets from @MozzerieGuts on that subject. :)

      Delete
  10. Please would someone clarify something about " Autobiography ? "
    Was it completed in 2011 or more recently ?
    If 2011 then surely before the MW blog took off and well before the BRS.
    The copyright date in the book is 2011, which prompted my comment.

    I didn't want to stop reading it yesterday and had to force myself to go to bed !!
    It is simply wonderful and very honest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Book closes in December 2011. Well after MW took off and on the day the first blue roses were thrown to the stage. Autobiography makes MW look like someone impersonating the teenage Morrissey. Badly.

      Delete
    2. Funny though how the real Autobiography starts with Moz's birth and nearly killing his mother for his head being too big and the parody first chapter starts with him getting stuck because of his big chin. Coincidence? I think not...

      Delete
    3. I don't remember the parody - do you still have it?

      Delete
    4. Yes. Can email if you want but lost your address as they gave me a new computer at work. Emai me if you still got my address. :)

      Delete
    5. I remember quite well, exactly as you wrote, something quite like: "My big chin did'nt want go come out".Interesting!

      Delete
    6. of course I intended to, not go.....Anyway for the littlo bit I know about book, when a writer finished his work and found an editor....he got to write the book again! For sure to an italian journalist, in 2012, Morrissey said the book was finished and he was spending more time talking about it then when he wrote it.

      Delete
  11. The book is full of lies, he's heterosexual and he's had a girlfriend for the last nine years. The're planning to have children too. It's not Tina Dehghani, it's a different woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We await your Penguin Classic

      Delete
    2. And if she was someone quite like Ann Coats....

      Delete
  12. if Moz were here now I would give him a big hug, why? because we must

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As Nancy Sinatra revealed that Moz is a good hugger, I would love to find out !
      I was thinking how lucky all the fans were in Gothenburg yesterday who had
      a cuddle with Mr M. Not to mention receiving an autograph and message with his
      special and distinctive signature.

      Delete
  13. Amazing. Boz spends time claiming he has no idea what MW even is, when we all remember his interview a while ago mocking MorrisseysWorld, and claiming "some people have too much time on their hands!" How can he criticise it if he has no idea what it is?

    Then Morrissey basically tells the same joke as the 'opening chapter' of the MW parody autobiography in, effectively, the first paragraph!

    Then M appears with a vase of red roses - and if he appeared with red roses, who do you suppose made the decision to put them there? That's right! - at the only promo event of the book launch.

    Unbelievable!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then Boz drones on about how people take the Blue Rose Society seriously. Since Boz seems to claim he has no idea what MW is, how on Earth can he know what BRS is? Only if a certain Streford poet told him?

      Delete
    2. Methinks that Boz ' Greggs ' Boorer knows more than he is saying.
      Our Moz has had lots of practice in deflecting tricky questions, but
      Boz obviously hasn't !!

      Delete
    3. The bumbling Boz of the parody stories might be closer to the truth than we thought?

      Delete
    4. Although there were only 10roses. There should have been twelve! #DeludedDozen

      Delete
    5. I counted them too Gob I agree here should have been the dozen present!
      JJazmine

      Delete
  14. Dear Rat, sorry, but I'm almost blind this evening, but you know, I mispell a lot, the book is not arrived yet, not sure if I'll read it, but surely this is an epic case in modern lecterature, the top could be if someone will say that Moz is not the author, something like this happened to a guy named William....

    ReplyDelete
  15. a bit like my school life, catholic schools in those days were brutal places, I think they were worse than protestant ones because when I left and went to a protestant school the vast majority of the violence stopped. I wrote about some of the things that happened on MW some time ago, you will just have to take my word for it that some of the priests and their sidekicks the penguins or sisters of god to you were sadistic bastards

    ReplyDelete
  16. Mikey Bracewell: ..."More to the point, Morrissey’s micro-critique of mainstream English literature and its hide-bound poets and novelists offers a pre-emptive strike against those critics grumbling about that fact that Autobiography has been published via the hallowed Penguin Classics imprint...

    *the seminal artiste juts out his jaw, nodding gently*

    *Boz Boorer nods forcefully, spilling a little coffee down his West Ham shirt*

    *the seminal artiste rolls his eyes and sighs*

    Mikey Bracwell: "...For Boyd Tonkin, writing in this paper, Penguin’s decision to release the book as a Classic undermined “67 years of editorial rigueur and learning”. The Guardian’s John Harris was less damning in his review, but even he criticised the apparent “lack of editing..."

    *the seminal artiste shakes his head, smirking, yet with pensive eyes.*

    *Boz Boorer tuts and rolls his eyes, nodding at Morr-ee-say*

    Mikey Bracewell: "If I may miss out a brief passage, Morr-ee-say...?"

    Morrissey: "Which rag is it?"

    Mikey Bracewell: "The Independent, Morr-ee-say."

    Morrissey: "Permission granted."

    Mikey Bracewell: *gazes down the webpage*... "ah, yes... What is so refreshing about Morrissey’s Autobiography is its very messiness, its deliriously florid, overblown prose style, its unwillingness to kowtow to a culture of literary formula and commercial pigeon-holing...."

    *the iconic star brushes back his quiff, gazing sagely into space, then, lost in contemplation, sighs in agreement, or in recognition, or otherwise in disappointment*

    Mikey Bracewell: "...A heavy-handed editor mindful of the book’s Classic branding might have abridged it down into a sedate, prize-worthy volume void of idiosyncrasy and colour. Thankfully – and yes, most likely because of Morrissey’s celebrity clout and reputation for intransigence – no such airbrushing has taken place..."

    Morrissey: "A very thoughtful and true piece. I think he's realised my little book is about to redefine the literary zeitgeist in the same way as my music once redefined the musical zeitgeist."

    Mikey Bracewell: "ONCE did, Morr-ee-say?"

    *Mikey Bracewell gazes upon the artiste's oakish features unblinkingly, wondering*

    Morrissey: "One can only redefine the zeitgeist once in any field of art by giving oneself entirely to it. Afterwards one's entire self is expressed in the art, so therefore how can one's own self change it again? One instantly becomes like a detonated hydrogen bomb... impotent, melted, unable to do anything of note ever again..."

    Boz Boorer: "I didn't know you were impotent, sir-"

    Morrissey: "For f**k's sake. Help the illiterate meat eater, Mikey. I'm afraid my own literary genius (Penguin Classics, etc) cannot condescend to such levels of woeful ineptitude; would be like Newton trying to mark GCSE homework in Clapton."

    Mikey Bracewell: "Morr-ee-say is speaking metaphorically, Boz."

    Boz Boorer: "Does his doctor know?"

    Mikey Bracewell: *smiles thinly*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Morr-ee-say would have thumped Boz in the abdomen if he'd said three years ago what he says just above. Is Boz becoming 'the new Jake?' Is it more of a brotherly acceptance? Or perhaps Boz has remembered that £10 Our Mozzer owes him for cauliflower balti last week, and Our Mozzer is trying to soothe the discord for a while?

      Delete
  17. Morrissey: "Nice to know at least one hack can appreciate the iconoclasm and complexity of the book, and can comprehend the notion of the book not having to hide itself under the duvet of literary conventionality... edited beyond an inch of its soul..."

    Mikey Bracewell: "Yes, Morr-ee-say. Of course they have no idea that, as editor, I had to do almost nothing-"

    Morrissey: "-Almost?"

    Mikey Bracewell: "Well, I did have to edit out a few of the fascinating and mesmerisings-"

    Morrissey: "-But none of the extraordinaries, I hope..."

    Mikey Bracewell: "It's a shame Penguin didn't fully appreciate your ironic-yet-sincere use of the words, Morr-ee-say. Irony, with sincere intent.. it hasn't been done before."

    Morrissey: "If I'd wanted literary nous, true appreciation of one's ..."

    *the artiste waves his hand aloft, seeking inspiration from the skies*

    Morrissey: "... of one's... of one's essence... then... one would have chosen Faber. I realise Penguin Classics is rather lowbrow in so many ways, but this shouldn't necessarily be an obstacle in one's pursuit of literary perfection. Yes, they failed to grasp the structural importance of the M- and F- words; and yes they failed to understand irony-with-sincere-intent as a grand concept, but frankly what would one expect of a label happy to publish the dreariness that is Hans Christian Andersen? Besides with Winter coming, I need the coppers, what with the ever-rising overheads and severe levels of true inflation at least, Penguin Classics will guarantee I won't have to switch the lights off early on my next tour, won't have to truncate set-lists, won't have to shiver in the house all January..."

    Mikey Bracewell: "Penguin Classics. It's splendid isn't it?"

    *Mikey holds up the book like an old antique in a shop, admiring the simple elegance of the black cover with blue portrait*

    Boz Boorer: "I like the way that journalist from the Independent realised a book can still be great despite being messy and muddled, Mozzer. What makes me so cross is that the music journalists don't realise the same's true of your albums. What did he write again?... What makes autobiography great is its very messiness... now WHY can't Petridis realise the same is true of Years of Refusal, sir?"

    Morrissey: "Well, quite, Boz. Petriditis did once write in the G***dian that one singer in particular was fabulous because he/she sang OUT OF TUNE. Now in that context, isn't it a little ironic for the same publication to criticise a writer for being unable to write, as John Harris has apparently done?"

    Mikey Bracewell: *smiles, sips some tea, squeezes his lips gently together*

    Morrissey: "Typical Hack. Harris - isn't that the c**t that gave Quarry a bad review? Philistine."

    Mikey Bracewell: *nods invitingly*

    Morrissey: "Perhaps if he would wash his hair and lose some weight, he would grow to love my recent output. I'm afraid one's days of churning out tenement block poems and bedsit melancholia for the greasy-haired and plump are long-gone. Old Harris will need to adjust his perceptions, have a proper wash and go on a diet, if he intends to benefit from one's more recent works..."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Harris' hair is self-washing, and has been since 1993. As Quentin Crisp once said of his hideous flat: "After four years, the dirt doesn't get any worse." Nonetheless, I do feel we might all 'chip in' to buy Harris a bottle of Wash n' Go. Any offers? I would suggest a sponsored event; how about a sponsored eating contest featuring the MorrisseyBand and lots of aubergines and courgettes? I would pay to watch Boz's oesophagus sucking down whole aubergines like a Dyson hoovering up the deceased Quentin Crisp's bitten-off fingernail ends. Who do you think would win?

      Aubergine and Courgette eating contest
      The most consumed in 8 minutes wins. The vegetables must be alternated.

      1 Boz Boorer - 27 aubergines, 26 courgettes, no vomiting
      2 Morrissey - 6 aubergines, 7 courgettes, acid reflux-induced coughing for 17 days; 5 cancelled concerts; hospital admission with "mildly grazed Barrett's oesophagus and cancellation-induced clinical despair, this episode moderate without psychotic features."
      3 Bruce - 3 aubergines (egg plants), no courgettes: disqualified.
      4 = Jesse T and Rick - unable to obtain visas, failed to turn up.

      I watched Morrissey on one of the clips tending to his red roses, touching them, trying his best to draw attention to them. Lovely stuff, as Shakin Stevens once said of AGP. Lovely, lovely stuff.

      Delete
    2. AGP ??

      I noticed the caressing of the roses and Moz even appeared to toast them with his teacup.
      It was very sweet to see, for those who know.

      Delete
    3. You don't know AGP?

      Delete
    4. Well I could make a guess. ' Aerospace Growth Partnership ? '
      Or it could be the airport code for Malaga Airport ?

      Delete
    5. * penny drops *
      Alan Gordon Partridge !!

      Delete
  18. Boz Boorer: "...Sir, five stars in the Telegraph. This one doesn't even complain about your poor grammar, sir-"

    Morrissey: "-That's not my poor grammar, old son - it's Mikey's. He's the editor and he's to blame... from THAT perspective..."

    Mikey Bracewell: "Well, I-"

    Morrissey: "-Besides, there is a reason the c**t can't get a novel published for love nor money, you know. Perhaps it has something to do with his more prosaic, less DELIRIOUSLY FLORID style... I'm more than happy to arrange a few creative writing lessons for you Mikey, if you're interested of course..."

    Mikey Bracewell: "I don't think-"

    Morrissey: "-Yes, five stars in the Telegraph. There, you see. Short hair. Decent incomes. Nice detached houses in the Cheshire green belt. Successful in their own fields. One's modern fanbase. None of these whingeing, greasy-haired left wing music hacks and council house wasters... Harris is, I'm afraid, like Petriditis, making a grave mistake. Credibility in tatters. Career in its terminal phase. Wheezing at rest. On home oxygen. Harris and Petriditis: they are to I as The Christian Monitor was to Old Oscar."

    Mikey Bracewell: "Dreadful men."

    Morrissey: "Barely. Garrulous fame-whores... tarts... loose women..."

    Boz Boorer: "I had no idea you were so good at writing sir. To have a Penguin Classic in your own lifetime is amazing. You are up there with Tolstoy, Enid Blyton and Agatha Christie now, sir, up there with the greats..."

    *the artiste taps his fingers on the coffee table irascibly before bursting into uncontrollable laugher*

    Boz Boorer: "You look genuinely thrilled, sir. To be mentioned alongside Agatha Christie must be a real honour."

    *Mikey Bracewell raises an eyebrow, sips his tea and smiles to himself*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many thanks for the hilarious postings above Morr-ee-say.
      It was a wonderful way to start my Saturday morning at work.

      Some critics are stupider than others.

      Delete
    2. O-O Yes Lizzy, you're right!

      Delete
    3. Ditto to Lizzy's comment. What a treat for us! Irony-with-sincere intent. Love it.
      I nearly spat my coffee out though because I had to laugh so much at Boz's impotent comment!

      Delete
    4. Well it is only a spout after all.

      Delete
    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    6. Grammar corrected:

      No need for MW then; just as long as TRB keeps posting, you'll have a home and an audience via the comments of FTM.

      This lovely parody has made my otherwise dreary and tired day. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

      Delete
    7. In his old age, Our Mozzer seems a little more accepting of Boz's foibles. It's wonderful to witness such compassion stemming from a genuinely deeply-held pity for Boz Boorer's utter ignorance of all things unstringed. Well, I laughed at this piece. Jolly good.

      Will he wear a blue rose?

      Delete
    8. Having spent a lazy Saturday morning engrossed in Autobiography, I visit here to find this amusing little piece.
      We are being indulged.

      Heartfelt thanks x

      Delete
    9. agree broken!

      Love this comedy writing, missed it!!!

      Delete
    10. This is the next best thing to having the MW blog back. I don't know what we did to deserve such a delightful surprise, but many thanks for this unexpected treat.

      Delete
  19. Genius! The Blog was almost better written than the book when it was parodying Moz. When it really did embrace beauty (beginnings of a new man, surrealist essay), it transcended the book and was something close to perfection. Has anyone read anything as touching as the beginnings of a new man before? I want more. I want the blog. I want more little sketches like this, and I want more essays like that, and I want Moz to appear with a blue rose again.

    This should never end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Blog is the Carry On to the book's Shelagh Delaney meets Oscar Wilde's slightly less witty younger brother. I personally think The Blog will be remembered long after the book fades into a distant memory!

      Delete
  20. Watch out ratty, our Mozzer may be planning a takeover. Perhaps you can come to an arrangement, sublet a couple of days a week to him, provide food and sustenance for Boz and Mikey.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  22. After my error :
    This place is rapidly becoming the blog equivalent of the Twitterdilly Arms.
    That's no bad thing. It's lovely to find you all here. Pessoas and all...............
    " Boz's utter ignorance of all things unstringed ! " Bless him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All together for a virtual family gathering!

      Delete
    2. I like this virtual family very much!

      Delete
  23. Our Mozzer has selected 'appropriate' photographs worthy of mesmerizing blog thing MorrisseysWorld, which, should TRB decide to publish this story on his semi-mesmerizing blog thing, he could appropriate for his own purposes, thus increasing the Enigmatic Otherness Factor of his blog. Here are Our Mozzer's instructions:

    1 https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=448510355229406&set=a.249676301779480.58593.238850106195433&type=1&theater

    *Morrissey's notes: Shame Boz Boorer is in the picture, spoiling an otherwise mesmerizing photograph of Yours Truly whipping the old cord. Still, at least the c*nt is breathing in. Put that one at the top of the story, please. It sums up the mood perfectly: that of old glamour, new theatre and used Vauxhall Astra GTEs without insurance or tax, let alone MOT. This is just the sort of picture a certain iconic star would select for his own timelessly elegant blog, were it still in publication. Which it isn't.

    2 http://www.theguardian.com/media/2013/feb/20/independent-seven-day-move-jobs

    *Morrissey's note: A picture of a dreary middle class person in trouser suite reading the dreariest newspaper this side of the Guardian. Let's have that photograph just BELOW the first mention of the Independent by name. You see how one incorporates one's aesthetic - fighting the forces of containment, rebelling against supercilious bourgeois values - into even something as mundane as a photograph of a newspaper? Tricks of the trade, old son. You'll learn in time.

    3 a random picture of a mushroom cloud just before Boz's absurd insinuation of Erectile Dysfunction against a certain seminal artiste. Adds to the overall Carry On feel; injects a little SIDE-SPLITTING slapstick humour; magnifies the stupidity of Boz Boorer's crass misunderstanding in a quite Freudian sense.

    4 a solitary picture of the book, please. Just below the part where Mikey admires the cover. Publicity old son! Publicity! If only one of the seven people who regularly visit Rat's blog thing decide to purchase an extra copy for 'toilet purposes' or otherwise as a sensuality aid, that's an extra £1 in the coffer for Old Mozzer's Christmas fund. Look after the pennies, and the millions will look after themselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would stick this one just after Boz makes his comment "Does his doctor know?"

      https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=463527940394314&set=pb.238850106195433.-2207520000.1382191002.&type=3&theater

      That sums up Boz's entire attitude to life, and serves both as joyful reminder of Boz's easy-going nature, and a chilling reminder of long terms effects of beer and Edwin Collins on those without much 'spare capacity.'

      Delete

  24. 5 http://www.flickr.com/photos/njbarnett/5006572162/
    *Morrissey's note: This vile photograph of John Harris perfectly captures the desperation of a hack attempting to balance two conflicting aspirations of: being admired by the liberal readers of the Guardian for not washing his hair properly and looking a bit rough, which makes him 'a man of the people'; whilst simultaneously using Oxbridge-only words and wearing ridiculous shirts to elevate himself above the common working class folk he secretly despises. Yes, yes. Let's place that picture just beneath the part where I common on his need to smarten himself up if he wishes to be a fan of one's modern masterpieces.

    6 A dreadful picture of the loose women in the bit where I wittily refer to Petriditis/Harris as such.

    7 http://www.somedizzywhore.com/blog/2012/12/bryan-adams-new-photography-book-includes-candid-morrissey-shot.html
    *Morrissey's note: Yes we'll have that one just BELOW the part where I burst into uncontrollable laughter. Dear God, Please Help Me. I hate Penguin already. Publicity? What publicity? One might think that if I refuse to do any interviews, the b*****ds would be working overtime to get my book on the TV. But b*gger are they. My novel will be on another label, I think. Something a little more up-market. Something classier and with a larger marketing budget.

    8 The final picture should be of a cup of tea. Do you see now how the mind of a pop genius works? The cup of tea brings the piece full circle from the darkly glamorous feeling of the first picture, right through to the humdrum cuppa. I'm hopeful that with my assistance and plenty of IQ boosting exercising, TRB might just be able to make his semi-mesmeric blog thing into something almost on a par with my own hallowed piece of socially-networked high-brow pop art.

    ReplyDelete
  25. comment on, not common on. If the c*nt doesn't amend that bit, this is the last piece I'll ever submit to his derelict BlogSpot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha - how I have missed Our Mozzer! Thank you, thank you, thank you! xxx

      Delete
    2. Your ego is OUT OF CONTROL. It's all very well threatening record companies, gleaming, grinning showbiz managers and institutions such as Penguin Classics. But you can't threaten a chubby, reclusive, unemployed blogger entirely dedicated to blogging about a now-defunct fake Blog. The chap has nothing to lose! You may as well threaten a flea with ECT.

      Also, M: I would advise changing the punctuation of sentence in which you drone on about lighting costs and central heating costs again but - thankfully - not the spiralling cost of Co-Op Pain au Raisin. I must say it's sad that your Blog entries were better written and better punctuated than your autobiography. Ten years and Mikey Bracewell editing has really f***ed up your book, Moz. If you'd given me the job, it would read like Wilde fire. How ironic that nothing in your book approaches the wit and literary majesty of some of the blog pieces. How ironic that the so-lowers said it couldn't be you because you would spell sulphuric acid the English way, not the Yankee way, yet in the book you spell glamour glamor. Presumably Kewpie, McWHateverHisFace and SkyNarc think Our Mozzer wrote the autobiography too!

      Despite my reservations about your sentences and occasional schoolboy literary missteps, I do consider your book a victory. It is beautiful in parts and darkly comic in parts.

      Lots of Love

      Broken

      Delete
    3. All the lazy hacks, who just had to comment on Morrissey's miserable demeanour whilst reviewing his masterful book do not have a clue do they ? Their loss our gain.
      As Sabine commented, we have missed you M, thank you for being you and being there.
      I am sure Ratty will be pulling up his socks up under your guidance.

      Delete
    4. To say I'm disappointed by these comments would be an understatement, Broken. Morrissey has crafted a masterpiece in the realm of autobiography. It is like no autobiography before. Any literary idiosyncrasies are a central part of the book's charm, and add to his genius, rather than detracting from it. Like all geniuses, he breaks rules, and he demeans those who play by the rules, simply by virtue of his very existence. If you read this book, you will cry, you will laugh and you will wish for another volume.

      Isn't this enough? Did anybody wish for another volume of David Beckham's life story?

      Mikey Bracewell

      Former Novelist

      Delete
    5. Haven't you got another celebiography to 'edit' Mikey?

      Broken

      PS. "I will never be lacking if the clash of sounds collide, with refinement and logic bursting from a cone of manful blast," - LMAO!

      Delete
    6. Actually I consider the sentence about manful blasting to be one of the book's finest sentences. Highly reminiscent of something I would say, it also incorporates a haunting quality within the choice of words, the likes of which I haven't seen since Chris Rea's last album.

      Ever Yours

      Alan George Partridge

      Delete
  26. Broken, you've taken that sentence out of all context. Please, let's not do this publicly.

    Mikey Bracewell

    Former Novelist

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How can blasting man(ful) cones producing sound collisions attracting a seminal artiste immediately to the scene ever have a context that is not utterly ludicrous?

      I,Partridge was crying out for a few sentences like that!

      Your chances of getting another novel published just went down the pan, my friend. Indeed if you'd spent more time ringing the changes and a little less time being Mr Little Echo Morrissey, perhaps his book would be the classic we were all hoping for. However great the rest of the book, the man cones part will forever mark out the Penguin Classic status as a rather self-deprecating in-joke on M's part.

      A full-time role editing FollowingTheMozziah beckons - the only question is: would Rat give such an important task to a man who has performed so poorly in the past?

      Kind regards

      Broken

      xoxoxox

      Delete
    2. Having said all that, I do think it was a masterstroke to fashion at least 2/5 of the book out of discarded True-To-You letter notes. How moving it was to read more detail about the legal case in the late 90s, and to read about Morrissey's terrible experiences in not making quite enough millions out of Geoff Travis and co. and - that stuff about how much his fans love him - Viva Morrissey! Viva hate!

      The trouble is that an autobiography is more than just a bit of a story and a few complaints tied together with themes of money, injustice and working class clichés. Songs can be made of such things and, in M's case, patently are; but it doesn't make for a truly fulfilling book. We wanted to hear of his teenage anguish, his fumbling sexual encounters, his innermost thoughts, his hopes and dreams, his broken spirit, the cruel things people said, the struggle with his inner demons when writing Smiths songs, his depression, the incredible explosion of his American fan base and elevation to iconic status circa Kill Uncle and Your Arsenal. We wanted more crushingly beautiful vignettes, like Smiths songs, or Vauxhall dream sequences. We wanted to hear about how dreadful sex is, or at least was. We wanted one long Morrissey song, with a little more realism, and a little less amorphous beauty. We wanted the impossible. Instead we were given an interesting story and a very good pop autobiography. Is this good enough? No.

      I'm afraid the enigma has been well and truly shattered, and our hopes that his writing would be astonishing have deflated. We're left with something not worthy of Morrissey, and yet still very, very good.

      How will we cope?

      I don't know. Many MWers will be thrilled. Whatever he does, they will adore. But for Morrissey's wider audience, I suspect 'Autobiography' will be the commercial success that finally hammered the last nail into the coffin of his music career.

      Nothing else he writes will ever quite be right. Nothing else will ever touch the places what came before touched. And I blame that dreadful, obsequious man-mouse Mikey Bracewell for facilitating Morrissey's narcissistic obsession with his own brilliance, to the detriment of the book.

      Mikey, yer a c**t.

      Delete
    3. Broken you're the liberal democrats of the writing world. You're entirely overflowing with ideals, which will last as long as you have no means of implementing them. Where is your poetry deal again, old son? Your book contract? Ah yes, old friend - like Mikey, you are a Former Artiste.

      Signed,

      M
      Penguin Classic Author, Second greatest living British icon (BBC), Seminal artiste, Literary icon, Singer, Songwriter, Live Performer, Socio-political commentator, Cultural Propelling Force, Animal Protectionist, Vegetarian, Wit, Celebrity, Entrepreneur, and Website Monitor, Creator of 53rd Best Album of the Year, 2004, awarded by a prominent Austrian Radio Station, Friend of Alan Bennett, Much Photographed Sex Symbol. Ah yes - and modern poet. ;-)

      Delete
    4. Don't lower yourself, Steven. Boys will be boys, but you should rise above the rest. That's my boy.

      Steven, it's Supermarket Sweep at 7pm with chocolate hobnobs. Pick me up some Twinings Breakfast Tea, which that lovely Stephen Fry advertises on Tele, won't you, Steven?

      I'll see you later son.

      Mam

      Delete
    5. Get in those chocolate Hobnobs, Steven, and belittling Mikey later will bring your self-esteem back up!

      Love,

      Broken

      PS "I appear to be more well known in Mexico than even in Sweden, Peru or Chile." LMAO

      Delete
    6. It all starts to go wrong when, for us at least, it all started to go right, with the formation of the Smiths. On page 148, writing of an early rehearsal, there is perhaps the most tin-eared, embarrassing description of their music I have ever read. "The Smiths sound rockets with meteoric progression… bomb-burst drumming… combative bass-playing". One is reminded of that old axiom about artists being the least perceptive critics of their own work. Morrissey seems to have understood the Smiths less than we did.

      LMFAO, ROTFLMDGAO.

      HOW did that squeeze through, Mikey, like a fart with a pile of sweet corn and overflow diarrhoea?

      And remember, Uncle Sweaty, Kewpie, Skylarker and the so-lowers said "the writing isn't good enough to be Moz" when MW wrote this:

      Delete
    7. The cheaply-assembled but eagerly-deployed scud missile that was British punk seemed to detonate unexpectedly in mid-air, causing chaos, panic and the odd ill-advised trip to the barber’s, but surprisingly little lasting structural damage. As the ash clouds of punk spilled over and fell, gathering like anti-snowflakes on Manchester’s light-absorbing grey paving stones, bringing down as they fell over weeks and then months our studiedly vague aspirations for a slightly different world, the two-up two-downs remained indignant. They seemed to peer up over the brutal urban wasteland – all ersatz municipal parkland, stubborn decaying semis and that mild, nauseating smog that was the Manchester air - wondering what might come next. What would come next? Nothing at all.

      Winter 1982. Manchester seemed glassier than ever, all pale angries, and pale sads, and pale cruelties. The death of punk had informed me of the true power of music – which is that it means absolutely nothing. Aestheticism as pure as any Wildean short story, utterly devoid of a moral; music is about beauty and - Being a Pop Star-? Being a pop star is about being fascinating. If you cannot be fascinating, then be handsome. If you cannot be handsome, may I suggest The X Factor Auditions?

      In 1982, intention was all that I had. Wintriness breeds wintriness, as a writer once wrote. When the soul lives in a glum rock box and the air is frostier than any half-remembered June day-excursion to Scarborough, the beauty of the freezing cold is all that one possesses. Sycamore tree leafless and crippled leans, like stag antlers bored into frozen top soil; green frog-eye Wellington boots scurry for grip on un-gritted roads; small bluish hand enshrined in fuliginous fingers, glinting under raw sodium lights; the Arndale centre like some oafish soul-cemetery, sucking in the human spirit like coke through a straw, and twisting it into a walking, breathing, cacophonous death. Snow fell that winter. And I made my plans.

      Delete
    8. This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read, and instantly demolishes much of 'Autobiography.' I have come to believe Autobiography may be a parody version of the actual book - an in-joke, if you will, known only to the inner circle of Moz - which will be released a few months or years later.

      Perhaps the Blog and this book are the biggest jokes of all, and the real life story is still to come.

      Delete
    9. Theses bookies is a classic book and you know nothing Broken. You know nothing for literature because you no published at all. Morrissey is this genius we all know and is on the highest mountain of the world you know.

      You forget all he do for you, all the money and time he gived you and such likes.

      Well, you should eat shit, my friend.

      Jesse T.

      Delete
    10. Any fool can see the brilliance of the sentence about manful cones and the way he describes Andy's bass playing as "combative" is the work of a real writer. Whereas that nonsense about sycamores and willies is obviously the work of an illiterate idiot.

      P.

      Delete
    11. P is a bit of an idiot from so-low. But after months of saying the essays were nothing like Morrissey's writing style, surely even he can see it is now. And the spellings, which Morrissey would never write the American way.... well he did! And he said Welfare House in AYNIM. So they have no credibility.

      Morrissey now actively seeks out blue roses. He's worn them twice, including in his live DVD. Yet they all said months ago, "well if he wears one, which he never will, maybe I'll believe it then."

      It's too unbelievable, so people don't believe.

      Delete
  27. Self deprecating in-jokes are the funniest kind. Irony with sincere intent indeed.
    10 points. Round one, round won.
    Rule breakers must never stop.
    I will be laughing all the way to dry cleaners today.
    My pencil skirts want out.
    And socially-networked high-brow pop art conceptualization and curation will forever be the new black.

    Astraea

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I quite agree! Magnificent book and magnificent blog! And this is the best FTM comments page ever! It's every bit as good as MW!

      Helena NS

      Delete
  28. LOLLOLOL
    Looks like I've missed the party.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I leave the loughton mansion for two hours to go to the dentist and all hell breaks loose. Former novelists, elderly Irish ladies, cultursl icons all battling it out in Ratty's field of dreams.

    More please.

    ReplyDelete
  30. What the FUCK has been going on here?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. god alone knows. I'm watching, lapping it all up, laughing my ass off. I don't know if this is another ruse between Moz and Broken to achieve some covert goal or whether Broken's finally lost his patience with Moz due to the absence of a mention in his book!

      Delete
  31. I think Our Mozzer may be sitting like Rick Wakeman with multiple keyboards at his disposal

    ReplyDelete
  32. Already noticed in the book:

    First paragraph section mentions Moz's head being too big and hurting his mother - just what the blog said in the first chapter of his autobiography!

    Moz mentions a song sung during speedway which we discussed in MW when Moz was known to be among us using bucktoothedboy!!!

    Moz puts Bowie, Bolan and Dolls together as a holy pop trinity, just like he did in Essay of the Beginnings of a New Man!

    Moz keeps using fascinating, extraordinary and mesmerizing!

    He uses US spellings, just like he was doing on the blog!

    He writes "Family life is chaotic and full of primitive drama as everything is felt intensely. There are no electronic distractions and everything is felt face to face" -- exactly the same thought he expressed in the essay about technology taking over from humanity in the late 20th century - remember?!?!?!

    He signed the book with a vase of red roses (!)

    He was pictured in the Gothenburg book store on the day predicted by log lady holding a flower stem!!!!

    that means today there must be some blue rose involved or something to do with first words and death of something!!!



    Unbelievable. The whole tone of the book is like MW. Life imitiating art!!!!!

    Loving the intrigue and glad Rat's stil rolling with the punches, still preaching the truth about the blog!

    Jon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for pointing out these 'coincidences'. Great to see you here, Jon.

      Delete
    2. everyone's returned for the release of autobiography!

      Delete
  33. This is better than the book I haven't read yet.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Rat's probably wetting himself with the excitement. Nothing like this has happened in over 750 days of Following The Mozziah.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
    2. So, for now, I will do nothing. This is indeed my best ever entry, and I've written NONE of it.

      Delete
    3. I'll tell you what to do, old son. Put the b*****d parody piece up on this very BlogSpot post with the photographs I have deemed suitable, and I shall provide you with a more extensive contribution in the near future.

      Dismissed.

      Delete
    4. With all due respect, er, sir, no, not sir, er, er, er, with all due respect your Mozzness, how can I put it on this very post, it will be out of context, but I see WHY it should go on this very post, because this is the only post on my whole blog that anybody will ever want to read!
      I think it should have a new entry... but can it wait until tomorrow as I'm watching X Factor?
      Kind regards, no, er, all yours(?)

      Rat

      Delete
    5. Book deals have been ALMOST pulled for less.

      Delete
    6. X Factor??
      what the hell is X Factor?

      Delete
  35. Without a doubt, the best comments page this blog has ever seen - a classic in its own right!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's not setting a very high bar. I hardly ever come to the blogs but I think Rat probably posted almost every comment on here.

      David T

      Delete
    2. So true Heather, what a fun day it has been, everyone a gem.
      Rat, you better do as you are told or it might all come tumbling down.

      Delete
    3. There's the door son, close it on your way out

      Delete
  36. The Boz facebook messages are fake. Broken used the old Boz facebook avi but forgot to change the circular avi to match the square avi.
    Busted again Broken aka Wesley.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And the door awaits you also, ciao ciao

      Delete
  37. Let's compare Boz and Broken.
    Boz Boorer - successful musician, highly respected and much loved by Morrissey as a man not just as a band member. Composer of great songs - ones people posting here claim to rate in their personal top ten.
    Broken - long time Solo troll scribbling away in the role of parody Moz (amongst others). Whilst MW's (Broken's) depiction of parody Boz is superficially a joke, as usual Broken's bitter, pompous, jealous disposition gives him away.
    If the rest of you find bitching about Boz Boorer entertaining, a songwriter who has given you so much, that says it all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was only joking. I haven't even read the first page of 'Autobiography' yet!

      Delete
    2. lol broken!!!!! You're a legend!

      Delete
    3. Broken must be the best wind-up merchant/troll in the history of So-Low. Wouldn't it be funny if MW was him after all?

      Delete
    4. It is called irony, darling. It isn't meant to be taken seriously!

      Delete
    5. Surely everyone's worked out by now that Broken and MW are one and the same?
      Always one step ahead of you guys.
      "Amazing. Boz spends time claiming he has no idea what MW even is, when we all remember his interview a while ago mocking MorrisseysWorld, and claiming "some people have too much time on their hands!" How can he criticise it if he has no idea what it is?"
      As if Broken would be taken in by spoof Facebook messages!

      Delete
    6. It is bizarre that people can't see. TRB has spelled it out many times in this blog. Broken is a pessoa of Morrissey's, just like all the others.

      Daniel Day 'Left Foot' Lewis (not to be confused with Lisa 'left eye' Lopez)

      Delete
    7. As I said earlier, Our Mozzer is the Rick Wakeman of the writing world, and we love it.

      Delete
    8. I'm not sure what you're upset about. Broken loves Boz. It's just a joke! You know - like Sid James was playing a part in Carry On - and like Kenneth Williams didn't actually go around saying, "oooh matron!" - well, actually. Anyway you get my point. Our Mozzer isn't Morrissey and Boz Boorer isn't actually Boz! It's a parody! Superficially it is a joke, and on a deeper level, it is also a joke, but of course with elements of truth. That's why we all keep coming back. I've been visiting this site since 2009 and this is my first ever comment. I just felt a need to comment on a site that's funny, loves Moz, and brings us a lot of pleasure, because I felt your criticism was bitter, pompous and jealous, rather than the site, which is funny, charming and very witty.

      Elisa Einstein

      Delete
  38. Lively discussion, is there a Twitterdilly book club now? There might be more to life than books, but certainly not this weekend. Just realised how much I missed this place.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WB Mme. Once you stay here, you never leave. As Rat once said so astutely.

      You have been missed, my dear.

      This is most entertaining online experience I've had since the MW blog closed. Thank you Rat!

      Helena NS

      Delete
    2. Welcome back Mme. Good to see you here again.
      You have been missed too xx

      Delete
    3. Yes, good to see you Mme. And sorry about my dreadful whingeing in 2011 or so.

      Our Mozzer (fake) would like it known he is currently in chat as M1959.

      Delete
    4. Nice to have you back Mme! Missed you!

      Delete
    5. Mimi glad to see you back again. Sorry I missed talking to you in chat room - Technical problems!
      Take care & come back soon xx

      Delete
  39. With Our Mozzer, Broken, Mikey Mousewell, The Deluded Dozen and, of course, TRB all present and correct could this get any more entertaining?

    More parody pieces please, Our Mozzer. The winds of change are with us now.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I've just made it through all these wonderful mind numbing comments that was a lot to take in but now I'm stuck with my head full of answers but i haven't got the questions to ask yet. Its a horrible feeling being so behind the rest of you all. this might be the first time I regret being American and all because of a book. I'll try to catch up, eventually.
    JJazmine

    ReplyDelete
  41. I shall be granting TRB a major exclusive in the days to come.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A new toothbrush sir, er, Moz thing?

      Delete
    2. Someone's got the writing bug

      Delete
  42. OUR MOZZER as you are granting Rat a major exclusive could you see it within your heart to grant me 3 wishes. yours, still unable to sign in off my mobile Manc Lad

    ReplyDelete
  43. Love the photos, they really bring the parody to life. Our Mozzer, we eagerly look forward to any future offerings you wish to bestow upon us.

    ReplyDelete
  44. The pictures and parody were superb. I would love to join in on the debate over the autobiography, but I have yet to receive my book in the mail. According to the shipping tracker my book is currently strapped onto a yak some where in the mountains of Mongolia. I was told not to worry as yaks are very dependable,.better than donkeys in the mountains and that it was not yet Yeti season, one of the yaks natural predators. The tracker predicts that the book should arrive in Beijing by Tuesday and from there it will be transferred to a slow boat from China. #BlueRoseSociety

    ReplyDelete
  45. The book is truly beautiful. It is egg on the faces of all those who said MW couldn't possibly be Moz. The writing style is almost identical, in parts like the parody pieces, in parts like the essays. The same Americanized spellings. Some of the same ideas, turns on phrase, etc. Not much mention of so-low (haven't read about it yet).

    We have been so privileged to be a part of MW.

    Thanks whoever you are.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Our Mozzer, thank you so much for being around and for all of your contributions. We are very lucky. An interview for Ratticus would be wonderful. I love your writing and the photos above. Simply priceless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry misread Our Mozzer's posting. He mentioned ' a major exclusive ' not interview.
      Fingers crossed that this could be tour dates.

      Delete
  47. L 'OO' ks like someone has been having far too much fun.
    Monsieur Rat – I do think Our Mozzer’s piece deserved a page of its own.
    Back to put my head in The Book – 100 pages left. All eyez down.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Almost forgot.....someone gave Morrissey a bunch of roses at the book signing in Goteborg. Apparently he sniffed them and them itched his nose. The roses can be seen on the table in footage taken at the end of the signing. Cream with a pink blush.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Morrissey has a girlfriend and it's not Tina.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Morrissey has a girlfriend and it's not Tina.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Morrissey has a girlfriend and it's not Tina.

    ReplyDelete

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