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Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Day 776 - I Smell A Rat

I have spent the past few days re-reading, 'The Book'. *adopts writing style from Autobiography* The second read brings to light a number of things missed from the first hurried skip through. The first read was all about getting to the end as soon as possible, where as the second read is more about savoring and observing. Pages are marked and notes are taken. The first read had seen mention of a number of rats, but the second read allows an actual tally to be written down, and recorded thus:

"Burning rats" - Page 13
"rat refusing to die" - Page 24
"Rat pack" - Page 30
"pack rats" - Page 33
"stoning a rat to its death" - Page 39
"rat is large" - Page 39
"rat falls back" - Page 39
"Sewer rats" - Page 138
"Rats that talk" - Page 158
"Feast for rats" - Page 300
"Giant rat" -Page 302
"desert rats" - Page 352
"rats at bay" - Page 352
"Rug-rats" - Page 430
"Dissected rat" - Page 450, although this page is actually unnumbered!)

The second read also brings to light hilarious quotes that were missed first time around, and it soon becomes apparent that 'The Book' will have to be re-read a number of times to fully take these all in. There seems no doubt that 'The Book' will be quoted from for generations to come, and Penguin Classic status is definitely deserved. This second read also brings the opportunity to list ALL 'The Songs and albums mentioned in Autobiography', but I won't repeat the list here, there are rather a lot!

*Stops writing in Autobiography style* There is SO much to take in from 'The Book', that it is impossible to list all the most interesting bits. One of my favourite sections is the lengthy description of the Joyce court case, in which Joyce, along with his lawyer and the Judge are absolutely slaughtered by Moz, and despite a number of people calling this section of 'The Book' a rant, I absolutely love it. For those who may not have been following my blog from the beginning, I managed to get a reaction from Joyce two years ago, after I accused him of being in the wrong taking Morrissey to court. Here was his statement, that can be found on Day 46 of Following The Mozziah:

Mike Joyce said...

OK RB, a few relevant facts … You stated ”In 1996 Mike Joyce took Morrissey & Marr to court believing he should be paid 25% of royalties because there were four members of the band, even though it was only Morrissey & Marr who wrote the songs.”

You also stated “The Mozziah & Johnny Marr wrote the songs, they deserved the majority of the royalties, very few people, with the exception of Judge Weeks, dispute that.”

I think you’re slightly confused regarding the issue of royalties.


They receive all the publishing royalties for writing the songs. In fact, Morrissey receives 50% of publishing royalties from all instrumentals recorded by The Smiths! M & M did write the songs and that’s why they received, and still do, 50% each of the publishing.

Publishing royalties are a completely separate revenue income than mechanical royalties. Mechanical royalties are generated from actual sales of an album/ single/ 12” etc.

It was the unequal share (40%-40%-10%-10%) of these royalties that was disputed.

I do regret that it had to go to trial and I’m also sorry that we all had to go through the process, but in my opinion, I wasn’t wrong to take up proceedings in the first place, nor will I ever be.


However much Joyce protests, as 'The Book' points out, Joyce lost any chance of a Smiths reunion the day he entered court.

Work commitments have meant that my blogging days are few and far between these days, but it would appear Morrissey has returned to LA, and with MorrisseysWorld still showing no signs of returning, I guess I have nothing to write about. The Morrissey 25 Live dvd has entered the UK chart at Number 2, one place ahead of Def Leppard, which made me smile, as in the early days of MW, Def Leppard fans were quite scathing about Moz. Oh happy days... was it really over two years ago?

It is rumoured (rumored) that Morrissey has agreed a book deal in America, so it is VERY likely that 'The Book' could be released in time for Christmas. If it is successful in the US (and why wouldn't it be?), then surely a screen play will be the next step. Could it be that Morrissey may actually get the recognition he deserves in his life time, instead of having to wait until he dies?

Until next time, it's goodbye from me, and I sign off with this....who IS Gelato, the Italian man mentioned in Autobiography that Moz first met in Dublin? Does Romina know? Hmm. And WHAT is the secret message to the Blue Rose Society that is supposedly in 'The Book'? Are the references to Beryl Reid and British Rail codes for Blue Rose? Back for a third read....


  1. Always good to read your updated blog Ratty. I am sure all of us who have read the book
    noticed the many references to rats.

    Broken has been in the chatroom a fair bit over the last few days,
    and so have I ! Apparently there are 4 parody pieces written and ready to
    see the light of day. Also rumblings about the MW blog reopening.
    You must have known that last evening he called you a rude word and said it was time
    that your blog was refreshed.

    Chat was great fun last night with Chuck, Urbanus, Astraea, JJaz etc etc.
    Broken is always good value and excellent company. Many subjects were covered.

    I think the mention of Mike Joyce would be akin to a red rag to a bull.
    I love the descriptions of the various characters during the 50 pages of the trial.

    1. "Broken is always good value and excellent company."

      I'd say so, considering I charge less than £20 per night (excluding ready wit and VAT).

      It's always a delight to spend time in the company of the BRS. It's rare that one meets such a sincere and humorous crowd, online or offline.

      I thank everyone for their kindness and company - even TRB!

      Yes, yes. The blog, which is absolutely not by Morrissey, as you all know, has generated four new parody pieces, but there is nowhere to post them.

      Perhaps Rat can make a suggestion? Ah, too busy re-reading the book, I imagine. He's probably looking at the first letters of each sentence and trying to find a viable message.

      Do let us know if you'd like one final parody piece to mark the death of MW, but not, one hopes, of BRS.

      If Morrissey wants the blog back, he only has to wear a blue rose again.

      With warm regards where once I sent you love,


    2. Could we possibly get to feast our eyes on more than one of the parody pieces? I regret that I haven't had the time to enjoy the excellent company of Broken and everyone else in the chat room lately. Greetings to you all x

    3. Dear Broken, Rat is currently unavailable to leeve a comment on this blog thing but he says please post the new parody on a random FTM page, so that nobody else will see it, and he will find it through his email. He will then post it as a new piece. He also said get the editing right first time you ugly, self opinionated, jumped up nobody... his words, not mine.
      Big Mick

  2. Who could play Moz? who would Moz want to be him in a movie? Great news.

  3. Another one for you - page 163 - a rat up a drainpipe

  4. All of this fawning makes me sick. No matter what Morrissey churns out you would consider it to be beyond perfection. You really need to think for yourself instead of being such a yes man.

  5. I'm not quite halfway through the book yet, but I've found it to be a mesmerizing read amidst all the rat mentions, American spellings, and liberal use of semi-colons. Thrilling news that the hardcover American edition will be released on December 3rd.

    1. they said MW wasn't Moz, because Moz would use British spellings. They also said the real Moz knew how to use semicolons. They also said the real Moz would never wear a blue rose. I think they also said the real Moz wouldn't take his shirt off in London because he'd retired. They also said the real Moz wouldn't do '0'wl eyes and that MW had doctored the pic. They also said MW had no inside info when the blog predicted his US tour 2 days before the announcement and the Argentinian tour a week prior. They also said it was pure chance that MW named YOR as his finest album 24 hours before TTY did the same. They also said MW didn't read the blog!

    2. I'm loving the book! MW is definitely not M!

      Helena NS

    3. Oh Helena.

      Bruce x

  6. Hardback glossy please, oh thank you! Enjoy your 3rd read Ratty!

  7. So 'Gelato' was around the time 'Ringleader' was out, now I see why those lyrics in that album...beautiful

    1. Here's a list of the songs in 'The Book':

      Spotify Playlist: in Autobiography

      Millie – My Boy Lollipop
      Roy Orbison – It's Over
      Manfred Mann – Pretty Flamingo
      New Vaudeville Band – Peek A Boo
      Four Tops – Bernadette
      Paul Jones – I've Been A Bad Bad Boy
      Francoise Hardy – All Over The World - English Version of "Dans Le Monde Entier"
      The Righteous Brothers – You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' - Single Version
      Jimmy Jones – Good Timin'
      Tony Orlando – Bless You
      Marianne Faithfull – Come And Stay With Me
      Love Affair – Rainbow Valley
      The Foundations – Back On My Feet Again
      Small Faces – Lazy Sunday
      Sandie Shaw – You've Not Changed
      Lulu – I'm a Tiger
      Rita Pavone – Heart
      Diana Ross & The Supremes – Reflections - Single Version
      Diana Ross & The Supremes – I'm Livin' In Shame - Juke Box Single Version (Stereo)
      Matt Monro – We're Gonna Change The World - 2010 Digital Remaster
      Shirley Bassey – Let Me Sing and I'm Happy
      Paper Dolls – Something Here In My Heart
      David Bowie – Starman - 2002 Digital Remaster
      Buffy Sainte-Marie – Soldier Blue
      Buffy Sainte-Marie – Moratorium
      The Pioneers – Let Your Yeah Be Yeah
      Dave And Ansel Collins – Double Barrel
      Bob & Marcia – Young, Gifted And Black
      Springwater – I Will Return
      Hurricane Smith – Don't Let It Die
      Jo Jo Gunne – Run Run Run
      The Elgins – Heaven Must Have Sent You
      T. Rex – Jeepster
      T. Rex – Metal Guru
      T. Rex – Telegram Sam
      Mr Bloe – Groovin' With Mr Bloe
      Blue Mink – Melting Pot
      Roxy Music – Virginia Plain
      New York Dolls – Jet Boy
      New York Dolls – Trash
      Mott The Hoople – All The Young Dudes
      Faron Young – It's Four In The Morning
      Melanie Safka – I Don't Eat Animals
      Iggy & The Stooges – Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell - Iggy Pop Mix
      Sex Pistols – Anarchy In The UK
      Sparks – This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us
      New York Dolls – Frankenstein
      New York Dolls – Personality Crisis
      Nancy Sinatra – Happy
      Dionne Warwick – Loneliness Remembers What Happiness Forget
      Jobriath – Morning Star Ship
      Pony Club – Single
      Ewan MacColl – Morrissey and the Russian Sailor
      Kirsty MacColl – You Know It's You
      Nancy Sinatra – Let Me Kiss You
      Patti Smith Group – Because the Night
      Brigitte Bardot – Bubble Gum
      Herman's Hermits – East West - 2003 Digital Remaster
      David Bowie – Drive In Saturday - 1999 Digital Remaster

    2. Looks like they forgot 'Death' by Klaus Nomi (p. 178), one of my personal favorites.

  8. Replies
    1. I bet there's a code in here someplace, do e got time to figure it out is the question

  9. Hello Rat! Always a pleasure reading your blog, thank you! You're right, page 450 is innumbered, why? Some people avoid some numbers for supersticious, but who knows?! Anyway I'm still reading the book and I'm delighted! I'm not a professional journalist so I can't write a proper review without reading all the book. When I worked in a press office of Rome University a famous archi-star taught me:" Read the last page firstly, then something in the middle and write what you think about very fast!" Sorry, I can't do this with this fantastic book, I want to read it very, very slowly, because it's such a pleasure! Gelato? Truly I don't know, Morrissey is such a teaser! Just know I read in the unnmbered page that he was in France, almost killed by a glass door and asked for a Sassicaia! Oh Morrissey, only you! Italian wine in France, like swearing in a Church! He's so funny! That's what French people deserve! But know Rat you forced me to doing what the archi-star taught me, no please, let me read the book slowly. I'll investigate about Gelato, italian man met in Dublin Airport...Trapattoni? No. In Ringleader time, a friend of mine, told me he met Morrissey at Circolo degli Artisti, an underground music club in Rome, there was a Max Gazzè concert and Morrissey was with a young photographer who was taking pics at the venue and Morrissey did'nt like at all Max but did'nt go away because he did'nt want to leave alone his friend. That's all, for now. Have a nice day and always Viva Morrissey and Blue Rose Society!

  10. It's terribly broad minded of you to only look for yourself in everything ......frightening really .

  11. RE: Gelato:

    After I read the book, I was surprised to find that very few people were discussing this particular revelation, as I remember that during the ROTT era there was a lot of fan speculation about whether or not Morrissey's relocation to Rome was romantically motivated. I grew curious and decided to see if I could figure out who the hell "Gelato" is. Since Morrissey doesn't give a whole lot of details about him beyond the fact that he owns a wine shop and coaches youth soccer, I didn't have a lot to go on, but I did some Googling.

    This is the webpage for Il Tiaso, a wine bar/library/cafe-type joint. A link to Morrissey's (now defunct, apparently) website can be found on the page, and the owner, Gabriele, is pictured here (third photo from the bottom):

    I thought he looked familiar and then I realized it's because I've seen him in photos with Moz before, like this one:

    This is hardly a definitive answer, but I don't think it's too much of a stretch to wager that this guy is probably "Gelato".

  12. His name is Gabriele Grandoni, and some of you may recognize this lion (no, not the indoor ones). This was taken in 2005.

  13. If you look up Mr Grandoni on Facebook, it says he's interested in women. So all the speculation that he was Moz's lover in Rome may have to be put to rest.


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