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Thursday, 9 January 2014

Day 848 - "I Am Not A Lamp Post"

Forget the quote, "No man is an island", the above quote from Morrissey's parody double has trumped it, and is probably my favourite quote so far, in this whole, wonderful, and quite phenomenal journey.

 Our Mozzer posted the above quote on twitter a couple of days ago, to show his frustration that nobody was interacting with him. In years to come, philosophers will be analysing it's meaning, with some professing, *adopts philosophers voice* "What Morrissey was trying to say with this tweet, is that he wasn't just on twitter to provide light for everybody else, but that he needed light too." Others will say, "this tweet is Morrissey saying that he is not a rigid object with no feelings." Personally, I have interpreted the tweet to mean, "I am not prepared to stand here whilst dogs piss on me." Whatever it's meaning, it is a great quote, among many, many other gems that Parody Moz has produced over the past 48 hours of virtually non stop tweeting.

It would appear that the whole Jonathan Ross thing from yesterday has gone COMPLETELY unnoticed, and the MorrisseysWorld phenomenon continues right in front of everybody, with NOBODY seeing! The number of Parody Morrissey's twitter followers has jumped to 316, but will the masses come this time around, or will Moz STILL manage to keep himself under the radar? When I discovered the original MW twitter account in September 2011, there were 334 followers, and here we are 28 months later, back where I came in! It really is PHENOMENAL.

 God, this journey is exciting.... but exhausting too. Morrissey and his pessoas/friends/characters are SO active at the moment, that I am finding it hard to keep up. Somehow I am trying to work full time in the day, and then spend the evenings at home as a caring, loving, father and husband, but it ain't easy, especially with this bastard blog to write, but it has to be done, this IS history.

 We can go months and months with NO activity from Moz, and then BAM (No, not Brooklyn Academy of Music), he's awake virtually 24 hours a day, bombarding us with the sort of entertainment that money just can't buy.

Morrissey's mind must be SO active, and I get the feeling he is even more mentally active when a tour is approaching. It is surely only days before a tour is announced.

My latest theory is that Morrissey is using twitter in the same way that Steve Coogan would use a tv or stage show. Coogan has Alan Partridge, Paul and Pauline Calf, Gareth Cheeseman etc, where as Morrissey, who is every bit a comedy writer in the same way vein as Coogan, has produced characters such as; Parody Moz, an exact replica of the real Morrissey, Broken, a failed medic with a taste for footballers, Greyer Girl, a twice divorced bitchy older woman, and Kate 'Dolly' Ryan, an unhinged woman in her thirties. Morrissey's interactive play is set online, in a place known as The Twitterdilly Arms.

Not only do we have the likes of Kate Ryan, sat in a quiet corner of The Twit Arms; writing her play, and talking to herself, but the beauty of Morrissey's online play, is that other characters, not created by Morrissey also enter the play. Characters such as me, a Morrissey obsessed blogger, living in a bedsit, trying desperately to be Parody Moz's 'best friend', and Marcus, a part time playwright from London, who resorts to pimping himself around Wandsworth Cinewrold, and Sabine, a cycling German housewife living in Coventry, plus Romina, a bored Italian housewife with pigeon English, and MancLad, an airport worker from Manchester, who likes his tipple. It's a fantastic concept, and as Parody Moz tweeted the other day, "I can't believe that nobody has done this before."

And with regards to the WHOLE MorrisseysWorld and Blue Rose phenomenon, here is how Moz himself has summed it up:

"This is too complex for mass-acceptance. Simply luxuriate in the parody/wisdom/poet/c*** dynamic." - Parody Morrissey January 8th 2014

I would dearly love to post all of Morrissey's tweets on this silly little blog of mine, but there are now so many, it would be impossible, but here is a selection of tweets from Parody Moz from a couple of days ago. If the account remains online, I will attempt to find time to copy some more, and post them tomorrow.

Highlights from @MorrisseyParody:

If only one could retweet one's own tweets; but WHO ELSE would try?

Is the BlueRoseSociety back in full flow?

Twitter is back, the blog is back, El Presidente is planning a new video, and @Wossy searched for my tweet among thousands.


Being lonely and elegant in your 50s is quite an achievement.

If I donated my blood, I'm quite sure it would be rejected.

I'm O positive, ironically.

"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally." Wilde

If I start using Instagram and wearing bracelets, employ six male dancers and keep flicking my fringe, might I get a record deal then?

Which of my tweets do you prefer? Wildean wit? Poetic lilt? Needless bitchery? Enigmatic implication? Blog-related facts? Friendly hello?

Is there a collection of people on the planet duller than Union J?

FROM @PapaSonsFilm: We are expressions of the same consciousness, yes. Don't get too excited. It includes Union J.

Are Union J conscious?


MorrisseysWorld will change your life. You read it here first.

Shall I reveal who I am now?

  I'm Barbara Windsor.


some white grapes please, old son.

FROM ME: MorrisseyParody Why the white grapes?

Don't be over-familiar old son. I've excommunicated people for less.

FROM ME: How about a new game, where we, your devoted followers, nominate celebs for you to mercilessly lay into? Great boredom cure.

Poor choice of words old friend. By 'lay into' I presume you meant 'conjure up mesmerizing words of witty reproach for'.

In years to come, people will write about this twitter account and my blog.

Only those of us who shared the journey will understand.

FROM @comradeharps: MorrisseyParody Will Johnny Rogan write it? Mick Middles? Preferably Mark Simpson?

Mark Simpson is the world's oldest adolescent.


Birth is crude, life is crude, death is crude; art is the exception.

FROM @PapaSonsFilm: You're far too wise to be a parody.

This is too complex for mass-acceptance. Simply luxuriate in the parody/wisdom/poet/c*** dynamic.


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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. When the opportunity presents itself, though rare it may seem to me on occasion sometimes, my, my... how I DO love the chance to have some, good old fashioned... SPECULATION in my life! Ahem(!) Just as much as the next person here, I'm sure. Every now and again. And again. *cough!*

      But what about this, Chuck?

      "Hermes Once-megistus8 January 2014 14:00
      Has anybody ever noticed that, despite their fascinating sexual chemistry on Twitter, Menippus is never directly mentioned in any of the PARODY articles? Could he be - like Gary Barlow's X Factor replacement or hard evidence for the MorrisseysWorld phenomenon - conspicuous in absence?"

      Also - you mustn't forget how I seem to also just love to throw all of those LOLs around. Let's all call a spade, a spade, shall we? I'm quite heavy handed with them, and I sprinkle them around in much the same way that Bieber collects those ill-fitting trousers and likes to "sling 'em low". That is, with complete, unashamed, debauched headless ABANDON.

      Which, quite frankly, is the only way to approach absolutely anything in life.


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    4. Not all of us have featured in parody pieces - does that make us M too? A theory a little to far reaching for me, I am fraid. What Menippus does have though is that enigmatic otherness factor. Mmmmh...

    5. ‘Four people with different pessoas’. I thought the way it worked was ONE person with many different pessoas. Alter egos.

  2. I've noted down a few... some from beyond this current crop of gems... This is just in case this account disappears.

    I can't act, but then I can't sin in the broader sense either.

    Do you sense my overwhelming ambivalence about Twitter? I am at my most fragile here.

    One learns more on a shit day.

    [My favourite for selfish reasons] Marcus I'm glad to hear it. I watched and adored your film. Not that's worth much, since I'm a parody.

    I'm asexual with transsexual, homosexual and heterosexual inclinations. I call it humasexual

    I'm tweeting in a vacuum, but does that mean that Katie Price can't, or can actually get in?

    Still I try, still I fail.

    I enjoyed that. I almost smiled.

    Your reward will come in heaven, or at least in the mosh pit of my next concert.

    Boredom is the rhythm of my life, swaying and seducing and enticing; boredom is my one true soul mate; boredom is me and I am boredom .

    John Snow and Kirsty Young are passable.

    My only true love is irony.

    I love England because I'm English - it's part of the fabric; it's a place I feel incredibly romantic about. It is really so strange?

    I thought when I released Vauxhall And I that I'd never be hated again. How wrong I was.

    The English, I firmly believe, are the kindest people politically - and the cruelest personally - in the world.

    I find that distressing. It forces me to by my private self, which is an appalling thing to be in public.

    I've never been this available. It's curiously liberating.

    What I love most about MorrisseysWorld is the madness of ignoring all the facts and embracing cognitive dissonance.

    Cricket is at its very best when it's rained off.

    Did any of you see the blue rose I promised Morrissey would wear in #Live25?

    My priority in life remains clear: I hope to die before Victoria Beckham. The prospect of Sir Elton trotting out Candle again is unbearable.

    Yesterday on Twitter I revealed I am writing my novel. Now on True-to-You Morrissey says the same. Coincidence again - nothing more.

    Contentment is worst than carbon monoxide for the quality of one's art.

    The tragedy of success is that is entirely without meaning; thus we begin all over again.

    Wit is a candle. It is made to burn. And when it burns, it destroys itself gently and beautifully.

    The only thing to do with one's youth is waste it.

    Never ask how I am. It ruins my day.

    1. Marcus, thank you so much for posting, you don't realise just how much time that saves me. There are a number of beauties in there that I hadn't seen, including: "I'm asexual with transsexual, homosexual and heterosexual inclinations. I call it humasexual" and "I'm tweeting in a vacuum, but does that mean that Katie Price can't, or can actually get in?" The quotes are coming thick and fast, and it is SO important that they are recorded, otherwise they could all be lost.... just like the first time around.

      Could others PLEASE copy your favourite tweets, and post them on my blog, stating why you like the particular quote.


  3. oh whiskers, why is poor little old me always portrayed as the local paraffin..hic

  4. Rat, I said I would do this as a way of apology for telling you to fuck off. I still think Legal Aid is worth fighting for... the entire media and government focus is on the Welfare state - which does need reforming. But I think this is a sideshow to detract from what the financial services industry has done to take the planet for a ride (i.e bankers billions). What a ride... we are facing global economic collapse and they are still getting away with it... so let's pick on the Bulgarians and the lawyers lining their pockets...Anyway...

    This Twitter page is dreadful. One of us will have to go.
    - Morrissey

    FROM @PapaSonsFilm: @MorrisseyParody You're taking it all too seriously. There's a cosmic joke here. You're laughing at yourself in another dimension

    REPLY FROM @MorrisseyParody: @PapaSonsFilm And now I'm glowering back at myself in another dimension.

    What's wrong with me?

    Humour is so witless these days.

    The less interesting life, the more people seem to have to say about it.

    Oh Heather - fear not. There are many signs to come and many returns to make.

    Do you think the next Beckham foetus might release a pre-natal autobiography?

    My words are all about only one thing: nothing. I am nothing. And this is nihilism.

    You will be 50% happier and 50% duller if you unfollow me.

    I have a Jaguar. It's invisible with a hint of blue sky.

    Never tell a joke twice - people might understand it.

    Morrissey So Low plumbed to new depths today. They are actually debating my new songs.

    The wise man knows he's a fool and the fool thinks he's a wise man.

    I followed no one and no one followed me - till you came with the tweet.

    Corporate whoredom is to the artist as sincerity is to Union J.

    Early success is liberating and late success is fatal.

    My wit is aching. I need some rest. Perhaps I'll persue @richardm56's account.

    If my face resembled a bespectacled tin of jellied eel with matted pubic hair, I'd embrace, not deride, acne.

    Limited ambition and a taste for comfort induce contentment. True artists have unlimited ambition and ask difficult, disquieting questions.

    When someone gives their life to art, you should at least be polite. Art is not a market. It's a passion.

    I throw my arms around Paris more often than I'd admit. The antique shops, cafes and city itself are beautiful.

    I am not Morrissey. The fact I put out the novel/album news 24 hours before True-To-You is pure luck. Nothing more.

    This is the mindset of the vacuous censor - no argument, only censorship, whether just or not.

    Life is so absurd, it cannot actually be real - can it?

    It's easy. Who is Sara Lee? It's very tenuous. But Sara Lee also makes delicious pies - filled with a certain fruit.

    You will also remember I tweeted the single word "Istanbul" as MorrisseysWorld. The reason was never given. #BlueRoseSociety

    As I said earlier, what's the point of being witty in an empty room? And so the time comes to switch the lights off-

    I'm so self-effacing even my sense of pride hates itself.

    Gary Barlow is quite possibly the most talented sack of potatoes this side of McCain's.

    If Elton John ever gets round to making a Biopic, it could double as a Persil ad: one never-ending cycle of dirty laundry washed in public.

    You couldn't write this script.

    I would rather embrace the ugly truth than a pretty lie. This is the essence of my songs.

  5. The concept of the online interactive play is truly fascinating and a stroke of genius. What a privilege it is that we're all able to play a role in this living art. The drama certainly intensified today when Wossy stirred things up by playing his part, but I expect that will be the topic of the next blog entry. I completely relate with your struggle, Rats, to fit this into your busy life and we thank you for your continued dedication to blogging. We know that this experience is well worthy of the challenge and I intend to luxuriate in every moment of it because it certainly won't last forever.

  6. since when are you concerned about the masses? You are only obsessed with your own self and thinking you are somehow more enlightened than anyone else and the only one who exists . You are not correct either. Dimwit.

    1. But the masses keep refusing to participate! Rat is doing his best to open people's eyes by writing this blog! This whole phenomenon is not a closed shop. Come in and participate if you want but stop moaning and hiding behind your anon status!

  7. Rat, I have come to the conclusion that your blog is as integral a part of this whole thing as MW itself. They sit side by side, one without the other is . . odd. This deserves to be published as a piece of work in itself some day - comments and all.

    I must be getting soft.

    1. I too have often thought along the same lines as JG..but you do know you will get NO recognition.. so, carry on


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