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Monday, 13 January 2014

Day 852 - "Reality Comes Striking Back"

First things first. Following on from yesterday's blog, I thought it polite to ask the founder of the MozArmy, @JulieHamill, if she minded me using her photo of James Russell. The reply I received came not from Julie, but from James:

I do! Bad photo I look like a mannequin.

We at FTM HQ are always trying to be helpful, so here is a less 'static' picture of James, which I presume he must like, as he uses it as his twitter profile picture:


Right, now that's out of the way, let's get started, although there isn't much to report today.

The Mozziah has once again returned to the Twitterdilly Arms, although by the time I finish typing this entry, he will probably have deleted his account again! Here are the latest pearls of wisdom from '@MorrisseyParody':

The mundane live for their retirement and retire to do nothing in anticipation of death.

Do something insane today; do something you might regret.

From @heathercat222 : Did you do anything that you regretted today?

I bought ten first class postage stamps when I only needed seven.

Heather: That's rather disappointing - what about embracing insanity?

Insane? I bought a new kettle.


Upon death, I shall sigh softly and whisper, ‘No more need to worry anymore. There are no Brit Awards Ceremonies in Hell. - Are there?”

What's the point of being witty in an empty room?

I have nothing left to say.

Despite Our Mozzer's twitter account being BY FAR the wittiest, sharpest and most profiund account on the WHOLE of twitter, he still currently has just 620 followers. No wonder he isn't bothering to tweet much, as he says, "What's the point of being witty in an empty room?"

The first person to leave a comment on my blog entry of yesterday, was Fifi, who left the following comment regarding the passing of 'The Champions' actress, Alexandra Bastedo, at the age of just 67.:

And in this land of fantasy, reality comes striking back and makes us shed a tear once again.
Rest in peace Alexandra.



Kate Moss has a certain Alexandra Bastedo look about her, and the above photo was of course used on the cover of The Smiths LP 'Rank'. I would dearly love to know why that particular photo was chosen, and did Moz ever meet Alexandra. Perhaps Fifi knows? Alexandra ran an animal welfare sanctuary close to Chichester in West Sussex.

It has to be said, Alexandra was a STUNNING looker, so for no other reason that that, here are some more photos of her in her prime:

And that is it for today. All is pretty quiet on the Moz front. Perhaps he is writing his novel, which as he informed @LizzyCatMoz on twitter, is unlikely to be ready for release this year. The segment Parody Moz tweeted the other day, reminded me a bit of his song 'Come Back to Camden'. It's very reflective:

"I went to that park bench in Bloomsbury and cried in front of flowers in June. I hated you for what you did. The air was rich with petrol. On the bench I sat, writing words on to lined paper with a ball point pen. The words reminded me of those days when we sat and read poetry. "

*Goes off singing* "But then I, I look around, and I remember that I am alone, alone. For evermore. Drinking tea with a taste of the Thames, sullenly on a chair on the pavement; here you'll find my thoughts and I, and here is the very last plea from my heart. My heart. For evermore."


  1. very sad news.
    I love that image.
    a rank shirt was on ebay the other week,
    I bidded £81 but still didn't get it ...

  2. I do have a theory about the photo of "Rank" but as usual, it's only a theory which probably only makes sense in my own fantasy world.

    I know the title "Rank" is quite a mystery in itself. It could be a reference to J. Arthur, a synonym of vulgar or the cockney rhyme. Nobody really knows.
    The way I see it, Rank is a reference to cryptography (secret codes). Rank codes form a matrix that helps locating code errors. It's all very scientific and would take ages to explain but the only interesting thing here is that the word rank can be a reference to secret codes and it is one of the fundamental pieces of data associated with a matrix.
    This is the first part of the theory and I'm sorry if it already sounds confusing.

    Now, let's try to link this theory to a famous person.
    We could choose Richard Barrett in the late 60's TV series 'The Champions' for example. Barrett was a cryptography specialist and even the best code breaker in the world.
    So maybe William Gaunt (aka Barrett) could be the face of RANK?

    And how about Gaunt's TV partner Alexandra Bastedo (aka Sharron Macready)? She is a vegetarian, animal activist and a popular 60's and 70's sex-symbol.
    Alexandra sounds more Smiths-esque than Gaunt, let's be honest. She can be the face of RANK instead.

    Plus, she played in the 1975 film 'The ghoul' produced by Rank Film Distrubutors Ltd so she seems to be the best choice.
    And why that photo of Alexandra in particular? Well isn't it just beautiful? That's not a theory, just an opinion.

    There, you have my RANK theory. I hope you enjoyed it but don't believe everything you read.

    As ridiculous as it may sound, I must report a particular event that happened recently. On December 29th, Johnny Marr posted a photo on his twitter account taken at MONA in Tasmania and he wrote "Underground headquarters in Tasmania built in the side of a rock by the sea with code running down the wall".
    I suggest you go see that photo. What you will not see, however, is the comment he wrote a few minutes after posting the photo and read "Now you know what inspired the RANK cover"
    As a couple of his followers asked confused questions about the RANK reference, Johnny deleted his comment and never mentioned it again.

    A matrix, a code…and RANK?
    Does my theory still sound crazy?

    And if I am right, then what is the secret code in Rank? I wonder.

    Have a good night little charmers.

    1. That's really interesting Fifi, & yea JM's tweet was gone...I'm so glad they had use her beautiful face for the cover, plus she was an amazing women & an animal advocate was what made her even more beautiful! RIP Alexandra Bastedo~

    2. A secret code in Rank? This is almost as good as the mystery of MorrisseysWorld.

    3. I am intrigued, Fifi. Thanks for sharing this with us.

  3. Alexandra was indeed stunningly beautiful.
    I am quite sure the novel will be worth the wait.

  4. Hello Rat! Fifi's theory is very interesting and Rank's sleeve is my favourite Smiths sleeve. Always asked to myself about the meaning of the word "Rank" and Always answered with the cockney rhyme, but now Fifi puts everything in a different perspective and much more interesting. Morrissey loves anagrams and cryptography and used to spend a lot of time for sleeve's design that's why he fell out with Jo Slee who, childishly, said to a journalist that working with Morrissey for sleeves design was quite like an hobby...(or something quite like this...) and Rat is right to about the similarity between Alexandra, rest in peace, and Kate Moss, always my favourite model, also, I think some of the first photoset for Calvin Klein parfum advertise are very similar to Rank's sleeve. Have a nice day you all!

    1. As always - intriguing, a Roman housewife who plays with cockney rhyming slang. who knows so much about Morrissey's love of anagrams and cryptography.

  5. As I have just tweeted, the photo of Alexandra Bastedo was taken from a collection of photos in 1967 called Birds Of Britain by John D Green.
    Also featured were Cilla Black, Sandie Shaw, Lulu, Julie Christie etc.

  6. Alexandra Bastedo was born in East Sussex and died in West Sussex.
    I consider that synchronicity.


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