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Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Day 860 - All Mixed Up

So, carrying on from yesterday, here is today's agenda:

                                                 AGENDA


1. Apologies For Absence
2. Matters Arising From Yesterday
3. The Latest From Parody Moz.... and Broken
4. Justin Bieber
5. The Pessoas
6. France
7. Album and Tour 
8. NME nominations
9. What/Who is Blue Rose
10. Any Other Business
11. Twitterdilly Arms Top 10 Chart

Blue Rose Society Members present in the past 24 hours: Broken (a Morrissey pessoa), TRB, Marcus Markou, Chuck, LizzyCat, HeatherCat, AIR, GWO, MancLad, Willow, Romina, Astraea (a Morrissey pessoa), Greyer Girl (a Morrissey pessoa), JJazmine, Comrade Harps, Menippus (a Morrissey pessoa), Bermondsey Billy (a c*nt), The Other Half (left a comment about many people reading the blog, and then deleted it), Fifi (Fire.... and a Morrissey pessoa) and Kate 'Dolly' Ryan (a Morrissey pessoa). If I have missed anybody out, please leave a comment.

1. APOLOGIES FOR ABSENCE
None received, although HeatherCat asked that President Kyle be listed. I am only listing people who are active and getting involved. I would guess Kyle is at school, but it would be great to see his father, Brian here. No apologies have been received from John 'Loughton Lil' Gill, who quite frankly seems to come and go as he pleases. No apologies received from GOB, who is currently sulking after receiving a telling off from Parody Moz after she showed intolerance towards Broken and his sexual preferences. Come on GOB, reflect, and then get back on the bike. He is here to challenge our prejudices. Edge of Industrial photography guy has disappeared too. Is there really so few of us?

2. MATTERS ARISING FROM YESTERDAY

A) APOLOGIES FOR ABSENCE

I don't think I've ever been to a meeting where there is something brought up under 'Matters Arising' concerning 'Apologies For Absence', but Fifi posted this quote from Francois de La Rochefoucauld regarding her absence:

"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires"


B) LYRICS TO 'MY FINGERNAILS COLLECT THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS

HeatherCat, Parody Moz (via his secretary 'R') and Fifi, were all quick to point out that I had mixed the lyrics of the new Morrissey song 'My Fingernails Collect the World's Problems', with a parody song written by Parody Moz about Justin Bieber, called 'Never Say Always'! What can I say? I am hanging my rat shaped head in shame. Here is the comment left by Parody Moz (who still deludedly signs in as 'Morrissey'), which was sent by his admin guy/secretary 'R':


Our Mozzer emailed me this evening thus:

"R get that s***ing Ratb****** to correct his sloppy journalistic rag tag of a blog post immediately. The c*** has mixed up the two songs in the most catastrophic fashion. In the more sincere song the dead pop star on a park bench is suddenly transported - without explanation or vaguely rational musical bridge - to his bedroom, watching youtube, presumably from beyond the grave. For f***'s sake - is a little journalistic integrity too much to ask? A little fact checking? A bit of due s***ing diligence? Instruct that good-for-nothing inbred that the songs were as follows:

'The sky was crimson and your jokes were barbed
Blackest envy gripped your precious heart
You vomited for hours
You died on a bench


As coldness rotted your still-living bones
Politicians made cuts
Bankers got fat
My fingernails collect the world's problems
Oh......
My fingernails collect the world's problems
Oh...

As bitter and cold as I am,
My heart, such as it is, goes out to you,
Your blue lips colder than Fulham Road in December,
Your small mind broken by the spite of this world,

I'm sorry I did nothing,
So sorry,
As I live, I will never feel a thing again,
Your life was everything to me,
And now I am a frozen shadow.'

'Never Say Always' as follows:

' In your room you sit
Youtube mocks and haunts you,
There for all the world to see
Your many failings and fears,
A public spectacle again

Tears fall like raindrops
But managers apply foundation and touching cream
Lights hurt your eyes
But still you smile
Never say always'

Ever Yours

Fake M!

PS Tell that presumptious c*** that they won't be on the s***ing album now; instead I'll release them posthumously. My laughter shall reverberate around Hell like thunder.

PPS All out of caramelised onion H. over here old son. Also Boz forgot to bring me some blue brie. Useless c***. I don't suppose you could pop over with some pain au raisin, blue brie and caramelised onion H? Before 8 pm please. Thanks. Oh and don't forget my laundry."

I hope this clarifies matters.

'R'

I really am a Grade A c**t. Is M serious that this beautiful new song will now not see the light of day until after his demise? Actually, and this has nothing to do with today's agenda, I have often thought about singers recording albums/songs to be released posthumously. You quite often get a situation where some old demos are found in a loft, but wouldn't it be a completely novel thing to do, to record an album, and then leave it safely locked up, with instruction that it only be released upon death. Has any artist ever done this before? Morrissey should do it. It could be called, 'I Bet You Miss Me Now I'm Gone'. Any other suggestions for a posthumous album title may be left in the comments section!

One last thing on this matter......Who the fuck is 'H'?


CARAMELISED ONION

C) JEANE

Fifi left this comment regarding my thoughts on Jeane:

"Great analysis, Mr Rodent. Very, very interesting indeed. Last line on 3. He was. He is. I am too. 

The comment "He was. He is. I am too." would appear to mean that Johnny Marr WAS keeping a secret from Sandie Shaw about the subject matter on Jeane, and he still IS.... and so is Morrissey.... but I think I might just be right!

Comrade Harps also offers a theory:


As for the meaning of Jeane or any other song, as a failed poet I can attest that the meaning of a work of art (written or otherwise) can be multiple. Writers can be aware of these multiple meanings at the time of composition and even through moments of self-revelation at a later date. Cocteau and Raymond Radiguet, Moz and Linder Sterling, Linder and Howard Devoto: Jeane could be about all of the above and more at once.


D) SHIZU SALDAMANDO

With regard to the photo of Morrissey and Shizu, Fifi commented, "Bloody public domain."

E) There is no 'E'.... so we shall move on to the next item on the agenda.


3. THE LATEST FROM PARODY MOZ.... AND BROKEN

Parody Moz once again returned to the Twitterdilly Arms yesterday, and although there are just too many great witticisms to reproduce them all here, I worry that if I don't at least repeat some, they may all be lost forever (once he deletes the account, which inevitably he will), so here we go. Morrissey is quite generous with his wit, and doesn't keep all the best lines for Parody Moz; his pessoa 'Broken' is just as amusing.

With 1800 tweets and 642 followers, I'm obviously doing something very right.
At this rate if I typed for 24 hours a day it would take me 315 lifetimes to reach 's number of followers.
I'm happier than ever on Twitter with my rag-tag bunch of followers, but I can't help feeling envious and bitter over Katy Perry.
Don't my tweets deserve a chance to influence the world, or at least appear in a gossip column in Missouri?
The purpose of life is to realise there isn't one.
The purpose of death is to challenge our faith in the pointlessness of life.
On twitter I wield an enormous influence - over my right hand.
Every tweet is an egregious act of wanton self-destruction. Each witticism further erodes one's hopes for this life and the one after.
Wit is one of the most destructive forces. Brilliant wit undermines one's trust and faith and hope until one is too demotivated to think.
Thus in producing genius wit, one erodes one's spirit until one is a witless bore. There are no exceptions to this rule.
Wit destroys the soul faster than cocaine. Cocaine steals the soul; wit obliterates it.
However bad things get, I can comfort myself with the thought that I'm neither Ryan Seacrest nor Richard Hammond.
Ryan Seacrest retweeting Kim Kardashian - is there a better definition of the word vacuous?
The outwardly beautiful and inwardly ugly have the most pleasurable lives.
The outwardly ugly and inwardly beautiful live principally for death.
The goal of democracy is to make people's lives better. The goal of politics is to make people's lives meaningless.
Broken: Love is like God - it only exists as a concept. Politics deals with absolutes - like sex and gold.
A valid point Broken. Politics deals with sex, gold and power, while pretending to manage love, money and justice.
We're all a bit Asperger's on Twitter.
I live to be ignored so that when I die I'll always be remembered.
Is anyone else on Twitter capable of being Wildean over a quick pot of tea?
If there was any justice in this world, your song would get to number one. There is justice - but only in my house.
The human mind can cope with absolutely anything, except reality.
Last time I left twitter for a year when I reached 8000 followers. This time I think I'll depart when I pass 1000.
As a certain singer said in an interview recently "Twitter is interesting." But ... how would he know?
I am not Morrissey.
I truly hope Victoria Beckham outlives me; the prospect of a tearful Elton trotting out ‘Candle in the Wind’ for a third time is unbearable.
Blessed with the wit to ask myself all the wrong questions, I quickly realised that to look at oneself is to dislike oneself.
After three lifetimes of soul-searching I have discovered the solution is simply to avoid all mirrors.
My retweet figures are scandalous. There are dustbin men giving daily updates who get better figures than I do.
Broken: It is a fri***ng disgrace how few retweets you get. You're like Rimbaud quoting Wilde on a particularly cloudy day. - Plus, you're a c*** and that usually goes down well on twitter.
Everybody's lost but they're pretending they're not.

Parody Moz: Bieber supports PETA.
Broken: Can shit music be cancelled out by PETA activism? In other words is it OK if you release 'Baby' just so long as you avoid meat and support animal rights?
Parody Moz: Releasing 'Baby' and supporting is better than releasing 'For Your Pleasure' and going fox hunting.

Life is darker than the days but lighter than the nights.
The intelligent long for beauty. The beautiful long for fame. The famous long for wealth. And the wealthy long for obscurity.
Life is the curse and sleep is the cure.
Almost 2000 tweets. Still I struggle on, devoid of wit, charm and followers.
I long for the pure white light of poetic redemption, the grim leaden Manchester night and Rome's skyline by dawn.



4. JUSTIN BIEBER

I actually don't have the time to write anymore today, so I will jump to item 11.


11. TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 10

The chart was advertised to take place in the Twit Arms at 12pm today, but as nobody turned up (except half a Heather), it was cancelled. Here is the chart that was lined up.... not that anybody is remotely interested.

1. JEANE - THE SMITHS (NEW ENTRY) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNRghlld8HU


2. JE SUIS JEAN COCTEAU - CRISTINA PINHEIRO AND ANDRE SCUCATO (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEQqXQGKyDQ

3. RAMONA - CANDY DARLING (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiY0xzvfXXY

4. MY GOD - BOY GEORGE (NEW ENTRY) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEuuGObqchs

5. QUANDO QUANDO QUANDO - ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK (WITH THE DANCING ROYCE REED) (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGHyqd_MYWk

6. GANGLORD - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gowz4V1c-0

7. CANDY SAYS - THE VELVET UNDERGROUND (NEW ENTRY) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPgGjUSEWss

8. THE FALCONER - NICO (NEW ENTRY) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QZu8FrzgpU

9. RUBBER RING - THE SMITHS (NEW ENTRY) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5afU9ivbmQ

10. ALL THAT MATTERS - BART BAKER (BIEBER PARODY) (NEW ENTRY) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbDKeroCQq0

Bubbling Under

11. MELANIE - PEBBLES IN THE SAND http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gyn-npsKC0

12. BEAUTIFUL - EMINEM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM
13. SOMEBODY LOVES ME - JULIE LONDON https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWtIEVq2sxs
14.  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (LIVE IN BOSTON 2012) - MORRISSEY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLInZxJv17o
15. THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS - KRISTEEN YOUNG (LIVE AT THE BOWERY ELECTRIC) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJSBDmJhHPk

Back to the real world. Perhaps I should stay there.

45 comments:

  1. Er Rat - it's called work. Go missing for 24 hours around here and you're written off. Anyway, loving your work as always.

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  2. You're such a tease, Rats - at this rate, you'll never get through all the items on the agenda! Since Fifi wrote 'last line on 3' in regards to no. 4 on yesterday's agenda, which was Rank, I assumed she meant the secret being kept was about Rank, but maybe I interpreted that incorrectly. An audience of more than half a person did eventually appear for the chart today, so hopefully next time cousin Fluff can be a little more patient before deserting his audience.

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    1. It looks as though that c**t Rat has got all mixed up again. Heather, if Fifi is referring to the last line on track three of Rank, then she is meaning, "I am a living sign" on Vicar in a Tutu, but if that is the hidden code, then why would M&M refer to Rank, and not The Queen is Dead?

      Bermondsey Billy

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    2. Heather is right about what I meant. Heather is always right.

      I must go. I have to go buy some Fred Perry wellies and they're not easy to find. I will be back later.

      Fifi

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    3. Billy, Fifi wasn't referring to the last line of track 3 on Rank, but rather the last line that Rat wrote on item number 3 on the agenda, which asks if Johnny was keeping a secret (about Jeane). Fifi is saying that Johnny is keeping a secret about Rank, and so is she. She also wrote 'soon', which I'm hoping means that she will reveal the secret of Rank to us soon. Thanks, Fifi - I'm not always right, btw :)

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  3. Sorry dear Rats, there are too much works to be done by these tiny little hands.

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  4. Dear Rat, sending you my massive apologize for the char, I was out for shopping and these promotional sales make me waste a lot of time! Anyway cheers for the fantastic songs! maybe Kristeen's song deserves an higher position, but cousin Fluff is the DJ and I don't want to hang him! Fingernails is very interesting, the word remainds me my holiday in Dublin three years ago, on a local newspaper there was a picture of Morrissey and Tony Visconti busy recording the three "new" songs, but in the front page there was a large picture of Shane McGowan sporting a veru strange kind of French manicure, do you know French manicure? Simple, just the top of the fingernail is painted with withe nail polish and all the finernail is painted with transaprent shining polish, but Shane's top fingernails were painted in black as the dirty fingernails of a young boy...curious coincidence, as always. Yesterday post was very interesting to, I'm agree with Comrade Harps about the interpretation of the lyrics, in fact, interpretation is strictly related to the personal culture of the reader and sometimes the author does'nt know about the symbols or the connection with other artworks, or maybe the reader, or the listner, got a particular idea about the author and misunderstands the meaning of the words. This, in my opinion, happens with the song "I can have both", due to the constant gossip about Morrissey's sexuality people read this song as a clue of bisexuality, but in my mind it is simply a song about the attitude with love's choise, not about gender choice. Sorry if I'm a little bit boring, now I got to go, my daughter got very important swimm training. Ciao!

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    1. romina, what you say about cultural and personal references when finding an emotional response, meaning or interpretation in a lyric or other artwork is so true. I have posted what are known as "contemporary english language haiku" and had responses from across the globe finding meanings that I had not expected. A local connotation here or a personal association there results in a meaning that I couldn't possibly have anticipated. Thankfully, art lives through such diversity of interpretation.

      As for I Can Have Both, I have given up on finding a definitive interpretation and accept that there doesn't have to be one. I just love the song for all it's open complexity and, because of my circumstances, I can still find great personal meaning in it

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    2. Thank you Comrade, a beautiful song is beautiful in itself and with all the personal interpretations.

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  5. To set the record straight, I didn't criticise Broken's sexual preferences, nor did I call JB (or anyone for that matter) a fag. Parody Moz correct in stating that there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. For me, that line is being accused of things like mocking someone's suicide attempt (???) etc. Real Moz or not, but accusing people of things they didn't do and tweeting sarcastic comments about them is not on. But that is my problem, not yours.

    It was fun while it lasted but for now it's good bye.

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    1. Yeah MorrisseyWorld/MorrisseyParody is not a nice person at all. They accused David Bret of not having his heart in the right place because he doesn't support child abuse. How fucked up is that? I think they'll get caught out soon though.

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    4. Did I say Morrissey? No, I said MorrisseysWorld/MorrisseyParody. Don't call me sick either. I'm not the delusional one.

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    7. You sound so deranged. I can't be bothered to reply to you anymore, you're not worth the time.

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    9. that Bret guy again, not even worth talkin about him on here...next

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    10. What had me concerned was that the C word was left by Chuck as a reply on my comment - glad to know that I wasn't the target.

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  6. ok, first of all, apols for being AWOL, that damned airline has not got Wi-Fi on its flights yet, there is a trial going on but as to which aircraft and route I simply cant remember, why don't they copy AA and roll it out over the whole fleet, cheapskates.. anyway I too wondered about H.. time as ever.. oh, and as not one miserable B*****d has said welcome back, then I will keep all the presents I bought..

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    1. Welcome back Manc!!
      Now where is my pressie :)))

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    1. Blue Rose revealed tomorrow.

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  8. I love reading your blog Ratty with everyone's views and comments.
    I am only firing on one cylinder at the moment, so choose to
    be an observer not a contributer.

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  9. Edge of Industrial photography guy .. haha Iike the variation!
    I'll never disappear Rat!! ... I saw yesterdays post ... meant to comment, but then got sidetracked
    by the SHEILA shirt on ebay ... that I WON!! ... full attention back now:)

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  10. A combination of my dyslexia & depleting brain cells I am confused about the Rank thingy. Hopefully the penny will drop!
    Anyway sorry for my non attendance at the chart, unfortunately work can be an obstacle.
    Lovely to see so many of you here. I too, very much enjoy reading what everyone has to say.

    Thanks for blogging Rats.

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  11. Well said Sabine. All you did was banter harmlessly. Why did nobody stick up for Sabine? Shame on your 'friendly' blue rose society. Cowards.

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    2. Agree Toni.

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    3. In all honesty, I don't fully understand what happened. I think I missed some of the tweets that were exchanged. All I do know is that it distresses me to see discord in the group and I wish there was a way to make peace so that we don't have to lose a longstanding member and friend.

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    4. i would have stuck up for her but have not got a clue what went on

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    5. Heather is the voice of reason, I'm totally agree with her and I don't understand completely what happened to. Welcome back to Manc, and please don't give publicity to David Bret, he does'nt deserve it, he's simply angry for beeing a former biography of Morrissey.

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    6. I agree with Heather and Romina and I have been in contact with Sabine.

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  12. I did not read the 'caramelised onion H' as being a who, but as a what. But what a what I do not know.

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  13. Hello Rats and Everyone yes it has been a while! My life is very Fast lately. I still Read Everyday but I will try to "Come Around" more often, Hope everyone is well:)

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  14. Oh my!

    My eyes are half glazed now, but they must have been fully glazed when I first saw the chart yesterday afternoon... because I saw Quando Quando Quando... but I did not register the fact AT ALL, that dancing Royce made it all the way to your #5! lol!!

    So never you mind - about my Jaynie Baby.

    Because BABY, Jaynie can wait!

    P.S.

    Don't think to yourself for a single blue rose solitary second that I didn't see the entry the other day where you called me a french maid(!). I think you should stop pressing up against my peephole like that, Rat, for a start. Next thing I know if I'm not careful, you'll be asking me to have a go under your sofa!

    Now...

    *Where did I put my pink feather duster again?*

    LOL at Royce dancing around in the middle of your chart!

    Just LOL!!!

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    1. I am glad that your day has started with a LOL. I had never heard of Royce Reed until you played that Youtube clip. What a character. The other clip of Royce on Youtube is SO sad.

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  15. oh no Ratty, & I always miss it, class at night & werk by day...but I love the list!

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  16. Hi, I would like lighten the tone of this forum with obscure, tedious and seemingly pointless posts. Therefore we should hold an EGM (Extraordiary General Meeting) to vote on changing the wording of these notes. Rat, I would like to formally request we change 'Absence' to 'Abstinence' in the board minutes. 'Apologies for Abstinence'.

    Brother Michael

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