Bowie didn't actually pick up the award himself, Noel Gallagher announced to the audience, "You maniacs didn't think David Bowie was actually going to be here? David Bowie's too cool for that. He doesn't do this shit. David Bowie has sent his representative on earth. The one and only Kate Moss is going to receive this award on his behalf."
And on she strolled, an absolute vision, dressed in Bowie's ORIGINAL Ziggy Stardust outfit from 1972.
And just as Morrissey had told Rustle Brand what to say prior to introducing him at Hollywood High School, so Bowie had given words to Kate. Morrissey and Bowie are SO similar. Morrissey IS Bowie. Bowie IS Morrissey. Here is Bowie's acceptance speech, as read by the stunningly beautiful Kate Moss:
"In Japanese myth the rabbits from my old costume that Kate's wearing, live on the moon. Kate comes from Venus and I come from Mars, so that's nice. I'm completely delighted to have a Brit for being the best male, but I am, aren't I Kate? I think it's a great way to end the day."
The newspapers are all full of the whole Bowie/Kate outfit, but the most intriguing thing for me about last night's Brit Awards, was the sight of Noel Gallagher wearing.... a BLUE ROSE brooch!
It goes without saying that NOBODY has picked up on Noel's Blue Rose, just as NOBODY picked up on Jonathan Ross favouriting a tweet of a photo of Morrissey accepting a Blue Rose on stage. Morrissey's 'show biz' mates are subtly flaunting Blue Rose, and the world can't see it. Noel is of course best friends with Rustle Brand, and only a few weeks ago, Morrissey and Noel were spotted in the same London hotel. Noel is also known to be a huge Moz fan. Noel KNOWS you know!
Perhaps, when Morrissey is awarded the 'Best UK Male Singer' award at next year's Brits, he can send Rustle Brand to receive it, dressed in the Blue Rose shirt that Moz wore in the 'Boy with the Thorn in his Side' video. The shirt currently hangs on the wall at the Salford Lads Club:
Mind you, I'd rather Moz send Kate Moss dressed in the shirt. Have I ever mentioned that I once met Kate? Yes, I believe I have. She really is one of the most STUNNING looking woman alive, so before I move on, just one more Kate picture for good measure:
Despite Morrissey being somewhere in France (La Fabrique?) recording his new album, he still finds time to pop into The Twitterdilly Arms on an almost daily basis. I have no idea of Morrissey's recording patterns (although I have this image in my head of him sauntering down to the studio at around 10 am each day, having first had a breakfast of tea and toast, and then laying down his vocals in one, before sauntering off again, leaving the band and producer to do their bit. I would then imagine Morrissey sauntering back down to the studio mid afternoon to let the ordinary people know if he approves or not! Now, time to get out of these brackets and back to the sentence that I'd just started, which to save you going back, reads, "I have no idea of Morrissey's recording patterns"), but he tends to drop into the Twit Arms late in the afternoons, lately in the guise of Astraea (@fadinggoldleaf), looking distinctly like Gina Lollobrigida.... well he would, wouldn't he..... although actually, the doubters would of course scream, "It CAN'T be Morrissey! Do you really think Morrissey would turn up on twitter with a profile picture of Gina Lollobrigida, pretending to be a girl?" Er, YES, I would, and he HAS!
And on the subject of the doubters, the Morrissey blogger, Julie Hamill tweeted this morning to all four members of the Smiths, to say 'Happy debut album birthday' (It is 30 years ago today that 'The Smiths' LP was released). I pointed out to Julie that the twitter address that she had used for Morrissey (@itsmorrissey) was no longer used by him, and that she should contact @FadingGoldLeaf. Julie ignored my advice, but with great authority announced:
What makes all these people think they KNOW what Morrissey does or doesn't do? HOW can Julie possibly KNOW that Morrissey 'looks' ? It really is incredible!
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Astraea and the daily pub visits. Actually, before I get back to that, I must mention a tweet from the 'Morrissey 25 Live' director, James Russell. Earlier today, he tweeted Noel Gallagher to congratulate Noel on his "nice threads". I tweeted JR to point out the Blue Rose on Noel's lapel. JR suggested that perhaps it was "footy related", but then followed it up with:
I know "whOo knows", James bloody Russell knows, as does Noel bloody Gallagher, Rustle bloody Brand, Jonathan bloody Ross and God knows whOo else. They ALL bloody knOw! :
Right, back to Morrissey and his jaunts to the Twitterdilly Arms. It's funny, because whenever 'Parody Morrissey' or 'Broken Morrissey' make a visit to The Arms, I always report what they have said, mainly because they are being witty, controversial, or giving clues regarding MorrisseysWorld, but I never really make mention of Astraea's offerings, when in fact she has SO much to offer. Astraea, and in fact Fifi, are Morrissey's gentle pessoa's, his more feminine side, so from now on, I shall report on the visits of both Astraea and Fifi, to the Internet's Number 1 Morrissey theme pub.
Astraea usually sits near the jukebox, sipping champagne, and conversing with Willow (@smashingblouse7). Despite the fact that I have mentioned many times that I believe Astraea to be Moz, hardly anybody interacts with her, and in fact, she only has 76 followers. Morrissey is on twitter, and has 76 followers! Perhaps I am wrong, perhaps Astraea ISN'T Morrissey, but for now, I shall report her offerings, which are mainly musical offerings. Here are yesterday's highlights:
I have to say, Astraea certainly has better taste in men than Broken, although I suppose Broken does at least fancy men who are still alive, whereas Astraea does tend to go for the older, deader type!
That is pretty much it for today. I doubt the 30th anniversary of the release of 'The Smiths' has meant much to Moz, although perhaps he might just look in the mirror tonight, raise his glass of champagne, and say, "You've done alright kiddo."
*Goes off singing* Fifteen minutes with YOU, wellllll, I wouldn't say no.