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Monday, 24 February 2014

Day 894 - All Quiet

All is quiet on the Moz front, with no sign of Parody Moz, Broken, Greyer Girl or Fifi  in The Twitterdilly Arms over the weekend, although there was a very brief visit from Astraea last night, but the mysterious Willow (@SmashingBlouse7) is doing her upmost to convince me that Astraea is NOT Moz!

The mysterious Willow is also trying to convince me that Astraea is staying away from the Twit Arms because of all the extra followers that she is attracting as a result of my deluded insistence that she is Moz, but Willow's theory doesn't quite ring true, because I have been deludedly insisting that Astraea is Morrissey for a very long time now, but NOBODY believes me, and even since my latest mentioning of Astraea being Morrissey in my last blog entry, the 'extra followers' theory still doesn't add up, because Astraea's follower numbers have actually GONE DOWN!


ASTRAEA - WHOSE TWITTER AVITAR IS GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA. I SHOULD POINT OUT THAT I DON'T FOR ONE MINUTE BELIEVE THAT ASTRAEA IS THE REAL GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA, NOT EVEN I'M THAT DELUDED.

I have no idea why the mysterious Willow is so keen to convince me that Astraea isn't Morrissey, but the relationship between the mysterious Willow and Astraea is almost sisterly, which makes me more convinced than ever that they know each other. From the moment the mysterious Willow turned up in the Twit Arms a few weeks ago, she immediately bonded with both Astraea and Fifi, and the relationship is perfectly balanced, which makes me believe that Willow is not just a friend, but a VERY close friend of Morrissey's. The fact that the mysterious Willow also has incredibly good music taste would leave me to believe she is somebody like Linder Sterling, but of course I really have NO idea, and will probably never find out.

JimW-Linder Sterling 27
LINDER STERLING - JANUARY 2014. PHOTO AND COPYRIGHT JIM WILEMAN

JimW-Linder Sterling 29
LINDER 'WILLOW?' STERLING IN HER HUNTER WELLIES ON A BEACH IN CORNWALL - PHOTO & COPYRIGHT JIM WILEMAN (SEE A NUMBER OF OTHER GREAT NEW LINDER PHOTOS HERE: http://jimwileman.wordpress.com/2014/01/12/linder-sterling-north-devon-portrait-photographer/)


The 'not knowing' throughout this whole MorriseysWorld adventure has been part of the intrigue, although at times it can make all of us both frustrated and paranoid, after all, look what happened the other week to Marcus; he almost seemed to take leave of his senses as he hounded me in the belief that I was Broken. The anonymity of the internet can play hideous tricks on the brain! Astraea didn't stop to chat or play any songs on the Twit Arms jukebox, but her sister in crime (the mysterious Willow) played many great songs, and more than made up for frustrating behaviour by posting this poster on the walls of the Twit Arms:







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BRIGITTE, OH BRIGITTE

The only other two things of interest to come from Twitter this weekend were a photo of Moz posted by Nancy Sinatra, and the announcement that the Bestival headliner will be announced tonight at 7pm, although I now realise that it DEFINITELY won't be Morrissey, as A) Morrissey himself has told me that negotiations reached a dead end, B) There has been NO mention/rumour ANYWHERE of Morrissey playing Bestival (except here!) and C) There is NO C!

Morrissey, "Sunny" and me. Photography by the beautiful & talented Amanda.


MORRISSEY, NANCY AND SUNNY

In the interests of fair play, it is only right that having posted fleshy pictures of both Gina and Brigitte, I post one of Nancy. I could post one of her unbelievable 1995 Playboy shoot (which I have never of course seen), but instead, here is a little something from the sixties:


OH NANCY

And as I am being so fair, it is only right and proper that Linder also gets the fleshy treatment.... sort of:

Linder Sterling Collage and Montage
OH LINDER


Now, where was I? Oh yes, Bestival, which Morrissey DEFINITELY isn't going to headline:

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SUNDAY HEADLINER TO BE ANNOUNCED AT 7PM TODAY, WHICH DEFINITELY WON'T BE MORRISSEY

It is probably just as well that Morrissey wasn't propping up the bar of The Twitterdilly Arms at the weekend, as I was extremely busy. On Saturday, I made a rare departure from my bedsit, and headed to London with my eldest son to watch Chelsea play Everton. I used to go and watch football every week, and held a season ticket for many years at Fratton Park, the home of Pompey, but in 2010 my football team died, and so did my love of professional football.

My visit to Stamford Bridge on Saturday was only the second game of professional football that I had attended in four years, and as we arrived at Fulham Broadway tube station, I was suddenly reminded by a carriage full of drunk Everton fans, what I had missed; as they broke into song, singing (to the tune of Human League's Don't You Want Me), "Fulham Broadway baby, Fulham Broadway, oh oh oh." Such meaningless little simple things.


FANS AT FULHAM BROADWAY BABY, FULHAM BROADWAY, OH OH OH

As we arrived at the ground, I was reminded again of what I had missed, as I breathed in the 'buzz of anticipation' that surrounds a football stadium. The only other times I ever get this feeling, is when I attend a concert, particularly a Morrissey concert.

At the match itself, despite not being a Chelsea or Everton fan, I sang my heart out, and was reminded yet again of why I used to love football so much. I could have been singing anything, but it was the act of singing in public with complete unabated freedom that I enjoyed so much. It just makes you feel alive, and to sing in unison with thousands of other people is just an unbelievably GOOD feeling. After four years, I think I can safely say I have fallen back in love, not with Chelsea, but with football. I don't need to pin myself to one particular team, it is the 'event' I have missed, NOT a team.





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CHELSEA SCORE THE WINNING GOAL IN THE 94TH MINUTE OF A 90 MINUTE GAME!











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THE FANS HEAD HOME


Apart from the Scouse wit, unison singing, buzz of anticipation, and perfect day out with my eldest son, the other highlight of my weekend came from a very funny anonymous comment that was posted on the Morrissey Solow website. I very rarely visit Solow these days, but I occasionally have a look, just to see if anybody has discovered anything interesting. Over the weekend, Solow had posted a 'nothing' story from the NME, quoting Morrissey's former producer Stephen Street as saying that he doesn't believe that the Smiths will ever reform (yawn). In response to the nothing story, our old friend Uncle Skinny wrote:

Don't care what anyone says. If it ever happens, I'm quitting whatever I'm doing to be at the front of the queue.

P.


In response to Uncle Skinny's comment, an anonymous commenter humorously posted something along the lines of, "No you wouldn't, you've not got it in you. You would be stood at the back with the rest of your Northern friends trying to play it cool." I can't use the exact quote, because despite Skinny's insistence that NOTHING gets deleted from Solow because of their 'freedom of speech' policy, he deleted it!


Sometimes the truth is far too much to bear, and although the 'Northern' comment was unnecessary (Southern men are no different), the anonymous commenter was of course right, Skinny wouldn't act like an excited puppy, he wouldn't be anywhere near the front of any queue, because he, just like most other British men, would be far too reserved. In our heads, we are all poets, romantics and lovers, but most of us never let the real 'us' out, we live the life that we feel is 'expected' of us. We behave in a way that we believe we should behave. The life we would like to live usually stays within the compounds of the mind. It is only in very recent years that I have learnt to let go. Writing this blog has proven highly therapeutic for me, and the whole MorrisseysWorld and Blue Rose phenomenon has allowed me to be..... me..... and if the Smiths were ever to reform, which personally I have no desire for, I would be at the front of the queue, but then again, I will be at the front of the queue for any concerts that Morrissey happens to play near me this year, but rather than playing it cool, I will have a blue rose between my teeth, and will unashamedly behave like an excited puppy.





That will do for today, I will now carry on re-building my music collection, which I have to say, is proving to be very enjoyable. My thanks to everybody, particularly the mysterious Willow, Astraea and anon from my last blog entry, who are all feeding me with wonderful songs. I  can't stop playing Dead Finks Don't Talk by Brian Eno, and Five Years by Bowie is just.... JUST! I am also REALLY loving Billy Fury, Serge Gainsbourg, Wanda Jackson, Nico (particularly I Will Be Seven), Juliette Greco and Permanently Lonely by Timi Yuro, which is just the saddest song EVER.... and is currently on repeat!

And finally, finally, having announced that I am back in love with football, and am back in love with my music collection, I must also announce that; having caught a glimpse of Top Gear on tv last night, I think I might be falling back in love with cars, well, one particular car at any rate. Eight years ago, as I hit forty, I fell out of love with cars, mainly because my children could no longer fit in the rear of my V12 Aston Martin DB7 Volante, so I was forced to sell it and become a sensible parent.


DB7 - NOT CHILD FRIENDLY


Actually, going back to the whole 'British male' thing, it is a combination of children and hitting forty that really change the British man. The phrase 'life begins at forty' is CRAP. Forty is a horrible age. In our twenties and thirties we have drive and ambition, but at forty we start to run out of steam, drive and ambition. I have really struggled with my forties, but as I approach fifty, I am finally starting to re-find my identity. Anyway, I am completely starting to digress and waffle. It's just as well nobody reads this rubbish. The point I was going to make was that last night, on Top Gear, my passion for cars was re-ignited by this, the Alfa Romeo Disco Volante (Italian for Flying Saucer):

Alfa Romeo Disco Volante Touring - Front Angle, 2013, 800x600, 1 of 42
ALFA ROMEO DISCO VOLANTE - STUNNING

Why I am writing about football and cars, I really don't know. It's because there is no sign of Moz. I won't bother writing again unless The Mozziah returns, so I shall leave with a picture of Uncle Skinny at the front of the queue for the Smiths. Actually, he wouldn't queue himself, he would find some other numpty to queue for him:
THAT MAN QUEING FOR THE SMITHS COME BACK CONCERT - HE HATES MORRISSEY, AND YET RUNS A WEBSITE DEDICATED TO HIS SOLO WORK.....YOU COULDN'T MAKE THIS UP

32 comments:

  1. Ratz you have such good taste! I am hooked on this blog of yours. I can get my Moz fix now without engaging and commenting on the Creche site. Sorry to impose my songs on you but I like this one! Wonder if you think Bentley's are bit footballerishhh ha.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywcari33C70

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  2. Well, what a surprise. Despite you banging on for weeks that Morrissey would be headlining Bestival, it turns out to be Chic. You are a fantasist and a bull shitter, and at last you have been found out. Now do everybody a favour and end this ridiculous charade. You have tricked a number of well meaning Morrissey fans with your bollocks, and it is shameful. Morrissey was never behind the Morrisseysworld blog and he wants nothing to do with your joke blue rose nonsense. Perhaps now, we can all go back to some normality, away from this utter shite.

    Me

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    1. Don't forget about the Striptease tour. #Fail

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  3. As a schoolgirl I met Maxis Uncle (Jacob Miller) who was renting a flat on the Kings Road, he was such a kind and gentle soul and died in a car crash so young a few months later in Jamaica. He had Manchester connections (think he lived with his Gran there as a kid for a while) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnAa02bQGHc

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  4. Willow whoever you are I am glad you have joined us at BRS, you bring a lively & charming spirit. I can't help but be intrigued by your relationship with Astraea & Fifi. By the way we miss you Fifi...

    A great read again today Rats. I so agree about the buzz from football. Yes, EVEN at Bristol Rovers! To hear the gas singing & chanting with passion & vigour often brings a lump to my throat. I also love the humour & banter with the opposing team.

    I was quite a party animal in my twenties & in contrast my thirties were pretty dire. My early forties allowed me to be far more in touch with my emotions which enabled personal growth. However mother nature can be so cruel as the menopause has f**cked with my head big time. Oh well in 5 years & I hit 50.

    I love the pic the Nancy & Morrissey.. They look at ease with each others company & Sunny looks like a cutie.
    Cheers for writing Rats.

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  5. I love Brigitte in a nice pink, fluffy towel. Or out of one.... I must be easy that way.

    Nice blog again today, Ratty. It's so sweet when you're happy.

    There are some really fantastic songs floating around right now, and I'm glad you like so many of them.

    Thank our lucky stars above. For good taste.

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  6. One pessoa missing in action is MorrisseysWorld's very own Log Lady. Suspended, but why? Did she see too much?

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  7. I prefer Blue Roses to Green Carnations http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOS7y97c8yw cc

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    1. A great find, CC. I wonder if Moz might cover it?

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    2. Would make my heart soar if he did, alas my heart just remains sore!! Trying to locate a florist to make my Ma a wreath of Blue Roses, I read extracts of Mozzie's BEAUTIFUL Bio on her deathbed! She loved good literature, so off I go to the real world in search of a flower arranger beyond the Art of Interflora.co.uk ha ha!. IF you do another Blog I shall keep an eye out for it, I enjoyed it SO. The Cocteau theory I found incredible, and though my small mind struggled to comprehend it, I certainly BELIEVED it. All the Best Ratz CC (I always use small case as I hide under the Duvet) X

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  8. Ok, I will comment, & not be a grumpy flump. Mr Rat, it's a wonderful blog today, albeit occasionally fictional. I actually enjoyed your tales of football frolics, despite not being a fan myself. Wonderful pictures too. Glad you appreciate my musical help; losing my whole music collection would be like losing a limb for me. There's so much music out there - many people spend their youth thinking that chart music is the be all and end all, & miss out on a wealth of musical treasures. We'll brainwash you into being a Bowie fan in no time!

    P.S. You could have that little pic of Brigitte blown up to full size for your bedroom wall, if Mrs Whiskers wouldn't mind, that is.

    Willow,x

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  9. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP-x4M4iGUI Saw him at Ronnie Scotts - and his biography is hearbreaking, if you get the chance read it. cc

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    1. OH MY F***ING GOD.....Little Jimmy Scott, WHAT A VOICE, WHAT A VOICE, WHAT A VOICE. Where has he been all my life? Thank you, thank you, thank you CC, whoever you are.
      'What I Wouldn't Give' has INSTANTLY become my favourite song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaQYtdk1Tko) closely followed by 'Why Was I Born' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ew_ON0uPTMs) which has got Morrissey's name written ALL OVER IT.

      I would urge anybody reading this to listen to these songs and please leave comment. Little Jimmy Scott sounds fascinating (and he's still alive!), and I will DEFINITELY have to read his biography. Google: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Scott

      The new music library grows.

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    2. What a voice indeed. It's beautiful that he was able to turn a major hardship in his life - having a genetic condition that prevented him from ever reaching puberty - into his greatest asset. Transforming the miseries of life into beauty, which our beloved Moz does so well, makes life bearable for us all.

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    3. Ratz, if ever you find yourself on a sunny day in NYC, head to the Church on Amsterdam Avenue and you will be in the place that Little Jimmy was blessed, at long last. Miracles do happen. When you read the book all will be clear. Luff CC X

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    4. heathercat So pleased you love his voice. His Genetic condition was nothing compared to what the ' Music Industry' done to him. You will find the whole unfair story ....well, interesting. CC X

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  10. Great blog today Ratty, I am glad you enjoyed the footie, although it doesn't float my boat !
    It would be good to have some half-naked Moz photos on your blog in place
    of the women without clothes. Double LOL.

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  11. Swoon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKoS5X4SMrY&list=RDNxr8ELV8p-Y my teenage nephew and his mates adore this and play it full blast whenever they are in my car. We all sing along, makes me happy.

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  12. Whoever Astraea and Willow may be, I'm very glad they're both with us (and I hope Fifi might join us again some day). Similar to what Rat said, I have found the MW experience to be therapeutic, and I completely agree and lament the fact that our society makes it all too challenging to feel free to be one's self. I could go on about this but because I'm short on time, I'll simply say that I hope you'll have reason to blog again soon, Rats - thanks for writing.

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    1. If you were truly yourself you wouldn't be hiding behind a fake id. Stop kidding yourself!

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    2. Oh anon, you just don't get it, do you? It's all about admitting it to yourself. Identities are so overrated.

      A Noun

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    3. "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."

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  13. self centered twat, blue roses, togger and some crazy pub singer, don't you have a life.. THERE, said it, just wanted to see what it felt like..feels pretty good, yep pretty good, we should all try this therapy now and again

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    1. We read your therapy Manc, that wonderful piece you wrote on the MW blog about the penguins. It was genuinely one of the most moving things I have read. This therapy lark works, you know.

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    2. Ooh you are naughty whiskers bringing that up

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  14. Hey Ratty, sorry I haven't been around, had a disastrous weekend with a burglary at home, not a happy bunny. I would like to say that Willow has been a fantastic addition to the BRS and some of the music passing through the Twit Arms these days is out of this world, stuff even I haven't heard of, and I'm old.

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  15. Cheers to the Rat for the wonderful pics and, of course, for the post! I did'nt know about the existence of an Alfa Romeo called Disco Volante, but it is a nice name, it means UFO in italian language and Dischi Volanti is also the name of a lovely vynils vintage shop in Milan, that's because dischi means vynils to and I follow the owner on twitter. Southern, Northern? Oh, people are the same everywhere...

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  16. In honour of a great Irish/Manc boy whose play Destiny is about to hit! When I sit in Soho Sq on Kirsty's bench with my head bowed in sadness, smoking a joint (that looks like a cig, wondering if Westminster Council will house their traffic wardens one day in that Hansel and Gretel Cottage) and I look at the Dublin Doors of Soho Sq, I wish the world was fairer and kinder. And when I go into St Patrick's to light candles, the strangest, most odd things happen to me that nobody would believe, and I know that there is way more to this life than the masses know! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-QVqcjg3g8. Hope you like Ratz. CC X

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    Replies
    1. your writing is beautiful Anonymous.
      ... thanks for the kirsty videos.

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  17. Oh, and when I last saw The Pogues at Brixton A and the end song was Fairy Tale of NY, (JP Donelavey ha) I had to leave, coz to me it is Kirsty, too sad to stay........http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jbdgZidu8 Mat Damon's best performance (Joking, as Freud says) cc

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  18. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5WrOThA7Yc last one. Dear Jacob.

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