Total Pageviews

Friday, 28 February 2014

Day 898 - I will be seven

Now, today's blog was going to be about a variety of subjects, including; the return to the Twitterdilly Arms of both Broken and Astraea, Beck's new album, Morrissey winning an NME award for Autobiography, my purchase of Your Arsenal, Fifi's comment regarding 'Chris the wonder-kid', my latest emails from Morrissey, Ganglord, the return to FTM of Fancy123, Kristeen Young's new LP, and a new Morrissey interview, but a discovery this morning has sent me off on a rather exciting tangent, which although isn't news as such, I feel that I just HAVE to write about it.

Before I get stuck in to my 'exciting tangent', I MUST firstly report that for the past two evenings, the rock genius and best selling author, Morr-ee-say, has logged onto twitter, has then invited his fans to join him in the MorrisseysWorld chat room that he created especially for his fans, and then sat in the said room, alone, as his fans ignored him! You could NOT make this up!


ALONE AGAIN.... NATURALLY

The pessoa that Morr-ee-say had chosen to use in the chat room, was that of Broken, which is perhaps why his fans ignored him. Broken is basically a Bieber loving homosexual of high intelligence, who likes a bit of an argument, but it is STILL Morrissey, and Broken is a human being, so WHY did Morrissey's fans ignore him?

In fairness, Lizzycatmoz entered the chat room, but she left virtually straight away, even though I guess Morrissey was going to try and help her see why she had misread 'Gobgate' so badly. (Note for anybody new to this blog, 'Gobgate' was a bit of a falling out amongst the Blue Rose Society members a few weeks ago. You can find details in my old blog entries.) Lizzy just CANNOT see that Broken IS Morrissey:

I would have been happy to chat with Morrissey last night, instead it was Broken
who started going back over old ground. Hence my decision to leave.

I was unable to join Broken as I was out and about all day yesterday, but I eventually logged in just to say a quick hello. I am embarrassed for my fellow BRS members, so I will shout this out again, MORRISSEY IS BEHIND THE CHARACTER BROKEN, IE @BROKEN1ANDONLY, but don't try and engage him as 'Morrissey the pop star', because he ISN'T Morrissey the pop star. Does this make sense? Well, it certainly doesn't to Lizzy.

Unfortunately I haven't got time to post all of Broken's tweets, but I MUST mention one, which had me laughing my little rat socks off. Broken had spotted a tweet from @bbceastenders with the below photo of Max Branning, and Broken tweeted, "Why does William Hague look so worried?"




Embedded image permalink
WILLIAM HAGUE

And now to Fifi, who made a welcome return to FTM with the following reply to my question about 'Chris the wonder-kid':

Interesting new post, Rat.
I have a slightly different theory regarding "Chris" but I like the idea it might be Chrissie too.

Did you know Bowie originally wrote the song for Mott The Hoople? They never released it (therefore he shaved his eyebrows off) but they did release "All the young dudes" which was their biggest success.

Heather, the quote about TQID is accurate as far as I remember. Although my twitter account is not active anymore, I was having an impromptu Babycham at The Arms when Parody showed up. What are the odds!

I miss you all little charmers, I will be back soon. You are every day on my mind.

Welcome to the new members. Enjoy the journey. We all do.

Fifi

Fifi, PLEASE don't leave us in the dark, will you share your theory?

Right, I need to get to the 'exciting tangent', otherwise I will be here all day and night..... but first, I really DO want to mention the new Beck album, 'Morning Phase'. I wasn't even aware that Beck had a new album out, but as I lay in bed this morning, reading that the re-issue of Your Arsenal is at Number 32 in the midweek chart, I noticed that Beck is Number 1 in the midweek, and therefore heading for Number 1 this Sunday. I am not particularly a big Beck fan, although I LOVE Loser, and also purchased his album Odelay, which is excellent,  but the reason I am mentioning this new album is A) It is Beck's first release for Capitol, which bodes well for Moz and B) Having listened briefly to the album on iTunes, it sounds FANTASTIC.

MORNING PHASE BY BECK. NEW TO CAPITOL AND ALSO AVAILABLE ON VINYL

I didn't want to download Beck's album, so I rushed to Tesco first thing this morning to buy it on cd. I appreciate that Tesco is not very glamorous, but it is now the ONLY shop that sells cds in my town. There is of course NO retail outlook in this pathetic county of mine that sells vinyl, but at least I can still buy cds..... except I CAN'T, because despite Beck heading for Number 1 this weekend, Tesco doesn't stock it! I have now ordered the album online, which is what I have also had to do for Kristeen Young's new album, and what I  also had to do for Your Arsenal. No shops selling music.....we live in one FUCKED UP WORLD!


KRISTEEN YOUNG - THE KNIFE SHIFT IS BEING PRODUCED BY TONI VISCONTI. GUITARS BY BOZ BOORER. DRUMS BY DAVE THINGY FROM THE FOO FIGHTERS. RELEASED IN MAY

I have so far managed to cover most topics that I intended to, but Astraea'a return, Ganglord, my emails from Moz, the return of Fancy123 and the NME award for Autobiography will have to wait until next week. I am unable to blog again until Tuesday at the earliest, so by then, I expect we will have moved on to pastures new, but if somebody prods me, I will try and remember to mention all of the above.

It is the topic of Morrissey's new interview with Billboard.com that led me on my 'exciting tangent'. I won't post the whole interview, which is an email interview conducted by somebody calling themselves M. Tye Corner (tuts to self), but I can report that Moz is on TOP form. The interviewer has written a little pre-amble to the interview, which starts with the dreadful, "Heaven knows Morrissey was miserable for much of 2013." GIVE ME STRENGTH! Morrissey's very first answer made me HOWL with laughter:

Billboard: Hi Morrissey. Thanks for taking time for us. Where are you right now?
Moz: I'm in France recording a new album. But surely you'd rather discuss the Smiths?

 Billboard: Your autobiography became an international best-seller and is being translated into 14 languages. How surprised were you by its success?
Moz: I felt a bit rash hoping for a no.7 position, so when it came in at no.1 and stayed there for five weeks... I was breathless. It's sold more than I ever imagined.

NUMBER 7!!! What was it that Parody Moz last mentioned on twitter? The number 7! What Nico song did I mention in my blog of Monday? 'I am Seven'! Coincidences, of course, but as the interview went on, so did the coincidences, as pointed out by this anonymous commenter on my last blog entry:

"Prince recently revealed that he’s an exceptional ping-pong player. What surprising, secret talent do you have?

I'm an exceptional ping-pong player.

What did you wake up worrying about today?

Ukraine. Why do news reporters call the people 'protestors'? They are the people! It's the government who are the rebels. Silly world, isn't it?

Lastly, what's one piece of advice you wish someone had given you in 1984?

You should always judge a book by its cover."

he finishes with 3 direct mw quotes!

I have to admit, I don't actually remember when MoorrisseysWorld mentioned the above three quotes about ping-pong, people protestors or judging a book by the cover, but it is the subject of ping-pong that led me to a posting on Morrissey-Solo.com (Solow) headed, 'Johnny Marr gig report at the Night & Day Cafe (Sep. 29); set list included 5 Smiths songs'.



NIGHT & DAY - A PUB IN MANCHESTER, AND THE VENUE OF A JOHNNY MARR GIG ON SEPTEMBER 29TH 2011

The Solow article is from September 30th 2011. The reason that the google search of 'Morrissey ping pong' led me to this article, is because an anonymous user on Solow used the words "ping-pong vagary" and "Morrissey" in the same sentence. This anonymous user signs themselves off as 'we'll let you know', which immediately got my attention, because I suddenly remembered that I had read comments from this 'anon' commentator before, and I also remembered thinking that 'we'll let you know' might be Morrissey!

Having been led to this Solow article, and seeing that 'we'll let you know' was the author, I felt compelled to read the whole Solow posting of the Johnny Marr gig at the Night & Day Cafe, and OH MY GOD, WHAT a discovery!

There are a total of 130 comments, so I can't post it all, but I will post the comments of the anon who signs himself/herself as 'we'll let you know', as well as some comments from some 'other' users in the same thread. I'll start with our old friend Uncle Skinny, the moderator from Morrissey-Solo.com. Skinny's first act is to run straight to Johnny's defence when the very first (anonymous) comment on the thread points out that Johnny "int no front man":

Skinny: Give the guy a break, It's his first gig singing in ages, playing songs he hasn't played live for 25 years. I'll be up the front next week cheering like a mad bastard.
P.


P.

I wonder if Skinny really did go up front the following week, or did he not have it in him? Anyway, this isn't about Skinny, so let me move on. Actually, one of the next comments is ALSO from Skinny, who once again sees his role as 'Chief Johnny Defender', even though he can't actually spell Johnny's name correctly! It's a shame Skinny has never shown such loyalty to Morrissey on the website entitled 'Morrissey-Solo', but that's another story.

Anyway, here is Skinny jumping to JM's defence against another 'anon', who is posting in a foreign accent (and yes, that is possible!). I would go as far to say (having read the whole thread), that the 'anon' with the foreign accent is playing the role of a 'Parody Jesse Tobias'. Skinny happens to KNOW that this 'anon' is the same person as the first 'anon', because of the IP address, although I should point out that when I once had a 'discussion' with Skinny on Solow, he TOLD me that he KNEW I was in Ely in Cambridgeshire (based on my IP), although I have NEVER set foot in Ely EVER! Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked again. Here is Anon/Parody Jesse, followed by Skinny:


Anon: Dear son, this marr performance is patetic. I feell sorry for him, he didn't put one, not one even mediocre song post The Smiths (apart short solo in PSB song "My October Symphony" - it is rather decent attempt of 30 seconds 20 or so years ago) AND NOW THIS???!!! How deplorable performance, so heartless, so battered. Now we see how strong Morrissey and his band are live, they kick the shit out of this marr hobos. Mozz and co. look like Man on stage, marr and co. look like pussy's. And another thing, this patetic hair dye; is he, marr, gay or what?

Skinny: Well, that's very interesting since you were the same poster who slagged Johnny off in the first response to this thread. You must really hate him. And you'd be in the minority here.
Because Johny is my GOD.
P.


JOHNNY (JOHNY) MARR - GOD TO UNCLE SKINNY AND GODLIKE GENIUS TO THE NME IN 2013, ALTHOUGH FOR 2014 HE HAS BEEN REPLACED BY:


DEBBIE HARRY - GODLIKE GENIUS 2014 (THE AWARD WAS ACTUALLY AWARDED TO BLONDIE, BUT LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES HERE, IT IS ABOUT THE LEAD SINGER, IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT THE LEAD SINGER!


Now, I may be completely and utterly wrong, but something is telling me that the anonymous Solow commentator pretending to be a parody Jesse might, and I do mean might, have been....... Morrissey! I just can't help feeling that Morrissey, having watched the Youtube footage of Johnny Marr absolutely MURDERING the hallowed words to the Smiths songs at the Day & Night Cafe, felt compelled to tell the TRUTH about Marr's career, but would NEVER be so cruel as to do it as himself.  The poor spelling and grammar make the postings HILARIOUS, but virtually all of the words written by  Anon/Parody Jesse ARE the truth. 

As I say,  I may be completely and utterly wrong, but as you read the posts below, try and picture 'anon' as Morrissey pretending to be Jesse, but also see the words as the REAL feelings of an UTTERLY distraught Morrissey, who couldn't quite believe what he had just seen on Youtube (I am presuming that Moz watched it on Youtube, and didn't actually attend the concert? Actually, let me just check back and see if I can find out from my blog entry of that day where Moz was, wait there........ OH MY GOD! The evening of September 29th 2011; the night that Johnny Marr probably dropped to new depths in the mind of Morrissey (if indeed the 'anon' was Morrissey, which I may have got completely wrong), Morrissey was on twitter and was having his first ever interaction with...... ME! Jigsaw, jigsaw, jigsaw. And now I seem to be stuck in some brackets again. Where was I? Oh yes. I had just said "try and picture 'anon' as an UTTERLY distraught Morrissey, who couldn't quite believe what he had just seen on Youtube....").... i.e. Johnny Marr hitting new depths as a performer, and you can almost see the tears in the parody words, as 'anon' writes and links Youtube clips of Marr's career:

Anon:In recent interview Marr is talking how bad he feels on stage, now, these concert evident's that Marr can't play live, also, he's singing is ghastly. Thank you David T to break the myth. Yes, Morrissey is one to see live if you want to experience The Smiths Spirit. Marr should go to PSB and be studio musician for them. They will like his coloured hair.


NATURAL OR DYED?

Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-c7A500Po0
Pet Shop Boys with Marr "My October Symphony" - last time Marr was attached to inspiration AD 1990/91; after, so pity Marr is (and will be)....and yes, Marr never had SPINE to play this solo live, because, let us face it, he is studio musician. Period.

Skinny: I admire your guts. Keep ploughing that lonely furrow.
P.

Anon: Sweet and dear P., lonely is Johnny.
He's song (HE'S SONG!) has no chart, no chart what!so!ever! since he stop serving Morrissey.
Period.

now listen this italo disco crap by marr.
why he didn't play this shit instead of destroying morrissey's brilliant songs??????


(Ed - the above Youtube link no longer works, so I'm not sure what the "italo disco crap" is!)

At this point, 'Chief Johnny Defender' could take it no more, and once again leapt to the defence of his God (who STILL isn't Morrissey, even though Skinny is a moderator on Morrissey-Solo.... but that is STILL another story):

Skinny: Change the tune, dolt, you're making more of a fool of yourself than you already are. P.

Oh if only Skinny knew, and as I continue to write this blog entry, I KNOW I am right, I just KNOW I am, although Morrissey would NEVER admit it, and nor would I ever want or need him too, just as I never want or need him to admit he is behind MorrisseysWorld. The other great thing about posting anonymously, is that you can also post things that you believe/know to be true, without the likelihood of being sued, such as the next offering from 'Anon':


Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BgbvjvAWuY or maybe he, marr, should stay with happy mondays and sniff & snore some more cocktails of heroin & coke to prevent us from this killing, slaughter fantastic morrissey's songs!

(Ed - the above youtube link is of JM telling the story of his 'Happy monday's kidnap'.


A HAPPY MONDAY!


Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKciOAXMxk0
this horror of group has kick out marr, because, according to The Cribs, marr is shit; as person and as musician.

(Ed - the above youtube clip is of a song called 'Housewife' by The Cribs, which I have never heard of!)

THE CRIBS.... APPARENTLY!


Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn4j37CX29g
Solid song and solid album from The The, but, marr is just session musician, all songs are made by Matt Johnson. Again, marr is nothing but servant to some other talent.

(Ed - the above youtube clip is of 'The Beat(en) Generation' by The The.

Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=068AFYvd58E
he, marr, was working with Talking Heads on their worst album "Naked", TH split after this debacle. According to David Byrne, it was no use from marr because boy just didn't find not one tune during the sessions.

(Ed - the above youtube clip is of 'Nothing but Flowers' by Talking Heads.

Anon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTAud5O7Qqk what the hell?? someone should pay me for listen to this retarded coxcombry!!! well, dear friends, he, marr, was crawling with these insects! as a session creep of course!
DEAR GOD.

(Ed - the above youtube clip is of 'Float On' by Modest Mouse

Anon: Electronic did do a number of great songs but, again, the world won't listen:
Getiing Away with It - apparently written about Morrissey - according to Tennant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSfjtdnUsls&ob=av2n 
Get the Mesage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7sVS...feature=relmfu
Forbidden City: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HETySgf-SYs&ob=av2e 
Vivid - terrific harmomica from Marr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9dXWgYKutY&ob=av2e

ELECTRONIC - NOT SLATED BY PARODY JESSE. COINCIDENTALLY, I THINK I AM RIGHT IN THINKING THAT MORRISSEY LIKES THE PET SHOP BOYS

Anon: Now, marr, you are rich, you are respectable, you are exemplar, you are hero, YOU ARE GOD, indeed, you are god even to me.
But. Only because you meet these flaky 22 year old Dorrissey.
Without him, where are you? Just a servant to pop-wretch - another after another after another after another.
Look, LOOK! and be divine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAxpvw4qOZQ

(Ed - the above youtube link is of 'Accept Yourself' by the Smiths.

Anon: And now, when I teached Unckleskinny some pop-history, I'm going off to drink some green tea with jaffa cakes (strawberry injection). Goodnight and thank you!


Now, for those who have been following Our Mozzer through the phenomenal journey of MorrisseysWorld, TELL ME that the above words are NOT Moz! You can't, can you? 





Don't worry, there is more. Parody Jesse returned to the thread:


Anon: Morrissey is Author. Marr is servant. Morrissey was great at Glasto. Marr this days only can play in pubs fool of smoke and nasty sweat. Mozz band is relevant. Marr band is sad bunch of hobos. Tobias can play live. Marr live performance is clumsy at best (just look videos above, he killed his own songs, Christ!). Mozz is clever. Marr is idiot (Jesus, he dare to sing Morrissey's songs with such "voice", even Liam fool of E, Heroin, Coke, booz, and Noel's spit sounds better at 3:00 AM out of some whore's bed after straight 12 hours animal party).


A Solower called 'Last Night I Dream't' then joined in, and just L'OO'K at Parody Jesse's reply, which is not only the 'give away', but will have you in stitches. It's all in the 'Elton':

Last Night I Dream't: Brillant! He looks great for his age!! Just Amazing!! If he comes to my town I will be there. Just a great bloke..I can't say enough nice things about him!! From when I first time I met him in Manchester (he gave me a ride in his car) till at the Cribs show a couple of years he is just such a NICE MAN! Love he is doing Smiths songs!

Anon: Ghastly! He looks awful for his age (look at gay hair dye)! Just patetic!! If he comes to my town, I will run like I run from TV every time Sir Elton John is there. Just a sad bloke.. I can't find enough aversion about him because he destroyed such a good Morrissey songs in this pub on videos above!! From the days of The Smiths (and I love to listen to him and Mozz on my Ipod driving my Vespa scooter) till the fooking Cribs and Modest Rats, he turn to such a SQUALID FIGURE! I hate he is doing Smiths songs so bad!

MODEST MOUSE (APPARENTLY).... CERTAINLY 'NOT' RATS!


Anon: According to Magnet interview, for marr this is "the best song ever made":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAamgOEmXg4
yep, he should die of SHAME.
Since he left Morrissey, he left the style and class in his life. Just hobo.
Period.

(Ed - the above video link no longer works, but it is 'Super Fly Guy' by S-Express)

Anon: And why he didn't play cover of that S-Express junkies instead of killing of Morrissey's songs???????????????????????

By this point, I think Uncle Skinny was a beaten man:

Skinny: Back to work, now. P.

Anon: Sweet and dear P. Current marr is odium; 
He can't dance or sing,
He can't do anything!
But what the hell?
The kid's a looker.

Just add cash and stir
And there you are
Another noncense, non-star
(Da da, da da da da etc.)

There's no pretense, 
This kid is dense
But what the hell?
The kid's a looker

Just add cash and stir
And the crash consumers line up
Shoulder to shoulder.
(La da la da da da etc.)

Sometime through the night
The kid shed his life
So very sad
However do not call this number again
We're busy moulding the face of the kid's replacement, yeah.
(La da da la da etc.) 

BUT, HE'S NOT EVEN LOOKER NOW!


THIS KID IS A LOOKER


Skinny: What the HELL are you talking about? I get the sense that even you don't know. P.

THE ABOVE COMMENT HAS JUST MADE ME CRY WITH LAUGHTER, OH MORRISSEY, I LOVE YOU...... not that any of the above comments really have anything to do with Morrissey, I am completely and utterly deluded. I am a fantasist. I am a bullshitter. Anyway, there is more:

Anon: Dear P. It is clear.
Mozz rocks!
Marr bollocks!

Anon: I'm on the mission.
To teach you solowists.
Fundemental facts of pop.
Why Mozz matters.
And why everyone else don't.
Specialy sad dead indi ex star marr.

At this stage, the anonymous commentator starts to sign off his/her postings as 'we'll let you know', although it could of course be a completely DIFFERENT anonymous commenter, and of course ALL those other previous anonymous postings could be from a dozen different people..... although both 'Parody Jesse' and 'we'll let you know' BOTH mention drinking green tea. A coincidence, nothing more! Ahhh, the beauty of anonymity.


GREEN TEA - THE BEVERAGE OF CHOICE FOR BOTH 'PARODY JESSE' AND 'WE'LL LET YOU KNOW'

Anon: And we know.
The teachers are afraid of the pupils.
But.
This is for the brave ones.
we'll let you know

And, at last, the 'ping-pong' posting that led me here in the first place:

Anon: why marr didn't play that http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Le-Uw-dx2o 
ping-pong vagary in this ghastly pub?
why did he butcher morrissey's poetry?
we'll let you know

(Ed- the Youtube link is for 'Atom Rock' by Quando Quango, which JM apparently played on. I personally have never heard of it, but then again, I have never listened to a single song by Modest Mouse or The Cribs!)

Anon: Christ, he could with ease blend this ludism http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Le-Uw-dx2o into his pub set!
Why stab Morrissey's giant genius with that prols on stage?
we'll let you know

Anon: Fair is Fair, he could hitch and jerk with his banjo that tune
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Le-Uw-dx2o 
so why for heaven sake take massacre on Morrissey's sacramental
we'll let you know

Anon: or take this marr prostitution
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmE7b3mzzso
with jolly jolly jerky jerky on banjo IN PUB FULL OF PROLS he will replicate baloney flatness of this yowl
so why, why, for dear god sake pickpocket DORRISSEY??????????????????????????????????
we'll let you know

(Ed- the Youtube link is for 'Still Feel the Rain' by Stex, which is apparently ANOTHER song that Marr plays on, and history has forgotten.)


I THINK JOHNNY IS THE ONE ON THE FLOOR!

Anon: my green tea is becoming cold. is this enough (pop-lessons) for you today Uncleskinny?
There is more and more to come Uncleskinny!
we'll let you know

Skinny once again jumped back in, and his comments remind me of Cliff Richard/GOB/Chuck/Lizzy/RosyMires/Hector Lector/Amora/Alex Petridis. Sometimes, people should REALLY, REALLY should stop and think before they write/speak:

Skinny: No, you keep 'em coming, you're doing a great job of looking like a fucking idiot. P.


Anon: but come on, all you can do after this titanic knowledge that i give you is SCOOLBOYINSULT
hm
we'll let you know

Anon: so, i'm proving that no one here, specialy "administrators", like Unckleskinny, know nothing about pop-culture!
well
we'll let you know

Anon: Uncleskinny is a moderator. He likes to be called "P" ever since rap broke in the UK.

At this stage, somebody called Peterb jumped in:

Peterb: All these guest threads are vile, uninformative and I cannot understand what they are trying to say. What is the point? Is it some strategy whose aim is to discredit the site?

Anon: All these threads are noble, very informative and we deeply understand what they are trying to say. The point is clear. It is inteligent strategy whose aim is discredit the illiterate, in pop-culture sense, moderators of the site!
In past 48 hours visitors of this site get more pop-culture informations, assemble Morrissey and The Smiths, then in full decade of spiteful masticate via Morrisseysolow.
more and more is coming
we'll let you know




Anon: You know that all posts considering decay of Johhny Marr are true.
Marr's career is whoring (so he satisfy shallowly with irrelevant).
Mozz career is fighting (so he engage, with highs and lows, constantly).
we'll let you know

Peterb: Jesus Christ guys (I'm referring to you Anonymous Guests) why can't you write proper sentances?
What does 'so he satisfy shallowly with irrelevant' mean?
And what is all the 'we'll let you know' s about?
Why can't you just say what you mean in intelligible language and then others can respond. 
This is called normal decent human behaviour.

Anon: The meaning of "so he satisfy shallowly with irrelavant";
Year 1990.
Marr is working with his hairdresser (yes hairdresser) on this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rib3OXyyreM
His hairdresser is close to happy mondays drug scene so Marr has a wish to stich him self to latest music trend via THAT CRAP!
SO HE SATISFY SHALLOWLY WITH IRRELAVANT!
Showing he is no artist (post The Smiths, or, correctly, post Morrissey), just pop-whore who suck even his drugpul gayish hairdresser to circle pop-worlds margine.
That year, 1990., Morrissey put out one of the best singles EVER in the history of pop-music: November Spawned A Monster.
You get? Mozz is artist, Marr is patetic.
Marr-popwhoredom
Mozz-popkingdom
we'll let you know


(Ed - the above youtube clip is of a song called 'Kiss me Cold' by Andrew Berry. In 4 years, it has had 456 hits. Is this REALLY Johnny's hairdresser, and was Johnny REALLY working on this song?)

Anon: Johnny walked away from his chance to be one of the greats and he will spend the rest of his career trying to capitalize on the memories of fans. He's very, very impressed with himself and his fans seem to enjoy that, but neither he nor they are "cool". 
Thanks, The Management

Anon: Johnny Marr is the absolute king of satisfying shallowly with irrelevant. I get a sort of anticipatory feeling when I encounter anything he's done because I can count on it being satisfying but at the same time I know it's shallow and irrelevant. That's our Johnny and we like him just like he is. 
The Management

Anon: Shallowly solowers
You see, you need higher education.
Now, if you pass literate exam - comprehend: shallowly - try to consume that sluggish marr:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbO7rNAedXY
you see/hear, boy can't play, boy can't sing - boy is no good. Boy is Sad. Boy is Patetic. Listen to that heavy-metal solo. Christ, Tobias is paganini on geeta for poor marr.
Why?
Lack of style, lack of mastership.
Master=Morrissey
we'll let you know

(Ed - the Youtube video is of JM singing with The Pretenders and MURDERING, and I do mean MURDERING the lyrics of Meat is Murder. I had never seen this before. It is NOT for the faint hearted.)

Anon: you are nice
you are kind
you are learning
you need this knowledge
you are waiting for so long
we'll let you know


Anon: darling
you are fidgety now
don't be
we are here now
you don't need to worry about 
we'll let you know

Peterb: The toads are wearing slingbacks.
There's Turkey for lunch
And when you dance
I am reminded of a printing press.
I refer the honorable gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago.


Anon: Why should I let the toad work
Squat on my life?
Can't I use my wit as a pitchfork
And drive with my Vespa scooter, while I listen gorgeus Tobias "This charming man", the brutte off?
we'll let you know
MOZ VESPA

Peterb: My underpants are glowing
as Roger Banister loans me a fiver.
Goat is on the Menu!
Bad new for goats.
I refer the honorable gentleman to the answer I gave some moments ago

Anon: Dear son,
To maintain intelligent correspodence, we use Larkin's (as great Morrissey idol) poem "Toads", because, dear son, you fetch in one of your post word "toad".
But.
You didn't get this artistic association.
So.
Your last post is monthy python blah blah.
According to the facts, you are example of Monobrowed Cro-Magnon Man, and it is mostly impossible to go ahead with you.
We kindly ask you never to appear in Morrissey linkage converstaion - EVER!!!
we'll let you know

Anon: Why should I let the toad work
Squat on my life?
Can't I use my wit as a pitchfork
And drive with the brutte off?
...
Philip Larkin, "Toads"
Philip Larkin is the nation's favourite poet!, even to Mozz.
Now, solowers, you are learning the basics. But you need to go from scratch. You marr's and shaun ryders sad hobos...
we'll let you know

Anon: Now.
This site has to be closed.
DAVID TSENG and co. NEVER HEARD ABOUT Philip Larkin!!!
we'll let you know

The whole Solow article can be found here: http://www.morrissey-solo.com/content/391-Johnny-Marr-gig-report-at-the-Night-Day-Cafe-(Sep-29)-set-list-included-5-Smiths-songs?#comments




Well there we have it. I am of course ridiculously deluded to even think that the anon's could be Morrissey, OF COURSE THEY AREN'T, NOT ONE OF THEM!

And finally for today, Erica on twitter has asked if anybody ever managed to identify the man on the drum kit from last year? Fifi, do you have a theory?


Embedded image permalink
WHO ARE YER?

*Goes off singing* Superfly guy, gonna take you higher

23 comments:

  1. Broken is morrissey? I'm never listening to morrissey again!! What a twat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, no, no. Morrissey plays the part of a character called Broken, who is aged 34! Do keep up. Broken is NOT Morrissey.

      Lord Whistle-Blower

      Delete
  2. Ratty, I do wish that you would not assume. I am well aware that Moz is the character Broken.
    I would have been happy to engage with M in chat, but not with Broken who was going back
    over old ground and clearly did not want to chat with me, despite the fact that I tried to engage him.
    I have happy memories of the BRS and the Deluded Dozen, knowing that I was there at the start
    of the Moz adventure and I enjoyed the ride for more than two years.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Interesting Blog as always R!

    DT's Mum and Dad certainly ...... him up! I steer well clear of that site. CC. I love Arundel Tomb myself, and visit Arundel Catherdral often.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I didn't tear-up during the rendition of Meat Is Murder - I do when Morrissey still plays it live.

    I remember a quote about the Beatles, wherein it's observed than when 1 ex-Beatle released or played on anything, then at least 3 other people in the world would listen to it. Similar to our "we'll let you know"'s encyclopedic knowledge of Marr's output.

    Re Andrew Berry and Smiths/Marr connections:
    http://www.how-soon.com/index.php/blog/entry/johnny_marr/
    http://www.johnnymarrplaysguitar.com/a-long-list-2/andrew-berry/
    http://thesmiths-onian.org/significant-figures/

    Not to my taste.

    And Anon's comments seem to me to be perfectly aligned with Morrissey's publicly stated view of Solow.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Isn't it Anthony Burgess on drums?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Presumably you were trying to be humorous, but you probably meant Anthony Burulcich and not Burgess, so your humor has left you exposed to ridicule, and I would like to take this opportunity to paint ridicule upon your exposed parts.... twat!

      Anthony Burgess on Morrissey's drums is actually quite a good idea; as a photo, not perched on the stool with sticks in hand, that option was taken away on November 22nd 1993.

      Keith Moon

      Delete
    2. I disagree with you. The ‘Anthony Burgess’ response to who is the man on the drum kit is one of the wittiest responses I have seen on here in a long time.

      Delete
    3. If the Burgess comment was intentional, and not an attempt at trying to name the person on the drum stool as opposed to the picture on the kit, then yes, it is indeed very funny; so if that was the intention of our anonymous friend, then I apologize for the twat remark, and would instead like to call you a wit, my friend.

      Keith

      Delete
  6. I was very sorry not to be able to join Broken in chat - it was still the middle of the day for me and I was in the midst of unavoidable obligations on both days. The difference in time zones can definitely be an obstacle sometimes. It's been wonderful, however, to see Astraea, Broken and Fifi all return to twitter recently.

    When I read the page from this Solow thread that you posted on twit, Rats, I have to admit that I had the same hunch that you did about 'we'll let you know'. But you didn't post the comment from 'we'll let you know' that caught my eye the most:

    Yep, Uncleskinny is a rap fan.
    I could with ease imagine him a nine year old salivation singing songs about Pepsi and kindergarten romance in a KFC baseball cap.

    This comment immediately reminded me of an early MW tweet very similar to this, in which he was lamenting the increasingly young age of today's pop stars. I greatly enjoyed reading the latest Moz interview, which was characteristically full of delightful wit.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If Morrissey really spent that much time leaving comments on Solow, it seems to me he is rather insecure. And why be so nasty to his former friend? Why not just feel smug and move on?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, if only life were that simple. Moving on is so overrated, especially around here. And as for insecurities, there is not a single person alive who is not insecure, including you, who is so insecure that you feel the need to hide your true identity. And nasty? Johnny Marr left the Smiths, was that not nasty? Smugness is nice, and smugness can stop you from saying all the things in life you'd like to.

      Ann Bowlegs Lin

      Delete
  8. Classic wit from Broken, very funny! Speaking of which, 'we'll let you know' does have a rather familiar tone. The humour & wit reminds me of a certain hairy backed blogger.

    A warm welcome back to enchanting Fifi, back on twitter last night. x

    ReplyDelete
  9. One for Ratzo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lb5LdJ7cLc CC

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bloody hell cheese muncher how long did it take you to pen this little lot.. lizzy i am feeling a tad under the weather so may make the chat tonight as my mates are no doubt going on the piss in covent garden and on to that nightclub that bob geldof once owned, he may still do, anyway i will be sat in my hotel room so tome on my hands catch you later if you have nothing to do

    ReplyDelete
  11. The truth is, very few of us were meant for this world. It's a physical onslaught of lies, brutality and cruelty. M - in my opinion - is a passionate and gentle soul - like most of us - who also developed a fierce exterior to survive the brutal world. It's what brings us to M. Solow isn't a good place. I have no doubt that he was on these forums attacking those who he felt had attacked him. The sensitive soul with a vicious tongue. It's how he has survived and its at the core of his art. But at some point, he just has to let go and say 'f**k it' - it doesn't matter. Because when you engage in these attacks - mostly out of boredom - you also engage in a darker energy that does affect your art. It's a contradiction. You develop a harsh, brutal whip like wit to protect yourself from the brutal world and then you find yourself, as a result of your defense mechanisms, becoming part of that dark world. It can lead to depression and a low self esteem. Perhaps, we are all here to learn how to rise above it. To float above it. And his task is all the greater because of the artistic majesty he has touched in his music. Each time we engage in something like this (taking on trolls on an internet forum) we drop an anchor - energetically speaking - that prevents us from sailing more easily through these waters. Each negative thought is an anchor. I think M is always at his best as a artist when he manages to free himself of these anchors. He's a lovely, talented man who knows how to cut those anchors when he needs to. But some of those anchors from the past are still dragging him along because he simply isn't aware of them. Especially when it comes to Marr or critics or the actions of Joyce. He just needs to put himself in their shoes and realise that they are just people who made mistakes - who look up to him and admire him but didn't know how to be. How shall we be? If we could all turn back the clock I am sure we would have resolved things differently. There is only one goal here. It is love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right. That Solow site made me depressed as f...k, had to walk away in the end.

      Delete
    2. Thankyou for this post.
      M. Not "The M" but another one.

      Delete
    3. The most sensible thing any body has said around here!

      Delete
  12. Astraea, I have found an old Blog relating to the Cocteau mural Notre Dame de France you wrote about. Will think of you Thursday as I shall go in and see it. I believe wholeheartedly the theory of M and Cocteau, with very good reason. Have walked past Notre Dame De France many times and had no idea what was inside! Thank you. CC

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CC,

      Light a candle in your heart. Shield it in a small hidden furrow, and take it with you when you step inside.
      Over the threshold, bathe her in the light of your gaze.

      A golden gaze. A virgin view? A Virgin view.
      A first time for everything. Sometimes.

      How very many things in life are more precious than gold. Above all, things that cannot be touched.
      Cocteau's heart, my heart, yours.
      A gaze. The Virgin. The light.

      Both love and this list, go on.

      When you stand inside on Thursday close your eyes.
      A visit always honours the Virgin. But spare a thought and whisper something to Mary Magdalene.
      Just even a whisper is enough. No one ever does anymore.
      Cocteau would want it.

      When you wrote of Soho Sq. the other day, my eyes flickered over the lines of your words three different times.

      One. Two. Three.

      And I was sitting on that bench beside you.


      Astraea



      Delete
    2. Your words have made me catch my breath. I shall Astraea. You are beautiful. CC X

      Delete
  13. Awwww, gee, thanks Keith...........just don't drown in your own vomit like your namesake. There are no names for that sort of stupidity.

    ReplyDelete

Mozziah Archive