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Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Day 937 - Back, Back, Back, Book

Morrissey Parody is BACK (as opposed to Parody Morrissey, who is somebody completely different), Broken is BACK (as opposed to BrokenMorrissey, who is somebody completely different, although when I say completely, I only mean in characteristic, as it is quite possible that the same person is behind both the 'Broken' characters, but 'BrokenMorrissey' is the actual Morrissey, whereas 'Broken' is a caustic, bitter, argumentative c**t (and that's just his good points!), and what is more, it is very important that you don't get the two Broken's mixed up, or you could find yourself in a 'Marcus Situation', but that's another story..... Where was I? Oh yes, I was trying to start today's blog piece by writing a dynamic headline, which was intended to read, 'Parody Moz is BACK, Broken is BACK, Fifi is BACK, and Morrissey remains in France writing his BOOK', but I have managed to get myself so waylaid with all the explaining of who's who, that I am now stuck inside a set of brackets! How did that happen? To make this opening sentence grammatically correct, I now need to get out of these brackets, and continue with the original headline, which means finishing the sentence with 'Fifi is BACK, and Morrissey remains in France writing his BOOK', but by the time I do that, you will have already read it twice! Oh well, here goes....), Fifi IS BACK, and Morrissey remains in France writing his BOOK!

First things first, Parody Moz is BACK, not only in the Twitterdilly Arms, but also on MY blog. It is a shame that the MorrisseysWorld blog hasn't returned, but who am I to complain when I am getting exclusive parody pieces for FollowingTheMozziah. For anybody who may have thought that I wrote the parody piece that I posted on Saturday, I am deeply flattered, but my writing is nowhere near the standard of Our Mozzer's. If you want to see the original, he posted the draft in the comments section of Day 251 of this blog. You can read the draft for yourselves if you wish. Day 251 is May 22nd 2012:

As I write this, Parody Moz's twitter account has disappeared once again, but luckily I took a copy of most of his words before he closed the account, so I am able to bring you his highlights. It would appear that he strolled into the Twit Arms 'late last night', his first appearance in the pub since February 25th. Here are the words of the Mozziah:

"I am still right there, where I never was. Stardom."
"The purpose of life is to realise there isn't one. The purpose of death is to realise purpose is overrated."
"Tony Blair, world peace is none of your business, as I once tweeted."
"The bed was stiff with regret, Your hands were colder than lust, My name is a knife, It cuts deep into your soul, Like hydraulic acid, Like absolutely nothing."
"Beyond Death lies a promise, Beyond death lies hope, Beyond death lies envy and freedom, Beyond death I am, Like a parasite, Eating still."


"@PiersMorgan I suppose it's difficult to remain pretentious now that your show's been axed."
"@PiersMorgan Piers without his political show is like Madonna without a face - less than nothing."
"As horrific as Madonna's face is, it is hers and she's proud of it."
"Piers was too ambitious for England and too smug for America. I suppose there's always Wales."

Re the Parody piece written for FTM: "I shall post part III soon."

"@JustinBieber What does one have to do for a man with facial tattoos in return for a $2 million car?"

Start your engines: Justin Bieber is now the lucky owner of a brand new Bugatti - one of the fastest and most expensive street legal cars in the world and posted a picture with the $2 million car on Instagram on Monday


"Life is nothing but a respite from death."
"I'm as pure as the driven slush."
"My novel will be ready for mid 2015. The next album early 2016. We're plotting a global takeover of pop culture."
"@KristeenYoung Fancy seeing me here. Kristeen, did you know that life is that bridge between death and art?"
'@KristeenYoung Childhood is spent wishing for adulthood. Adulthood is spent wishing to be a child. In old age one wishes one had wished less." (NB: This tweet is a repeat! Ed)
"I'm walking the plank too willingly. I'm climbing the tower block without question. I'm lingering for too long on a suspension bridge."
"Yet no one lives more than I."
"Death is more inspiring than any religion. Soon you will be dust. Doesn't it focus the mind?"
"Madonna and McDonalds have much in common: they both offer cheap meat, as tasteless as it is bland; both are hugely profitable; both are based in the US but invaded England in the 80s; both mistakenly believe they are fashionable; both are exclusively see by idiots; and both of them allow men to pop in and use the conveniences overnight."

The mention of the novel would tend to suggest that Mozzer has spent the past four or five weeks writing, and as Fifi yesterday left a comment on my blog entry of Friday, with a link to a French TV guide, it would appear that Moz is still in France, which I have to admit, comes as no surprise to me because A) My blog hits from France remain quite high (although nowhere near as high as when Boz & Co were in France.... Hmm) B) Moz told me in an email a number of weeks ago that he was going to be staying on in France and C).... there is NO C!

Here is Fifi's comment:

On TV tonight 'Le Mepris' by Godard.

Great post Rah and beautiful words by lovely Astraea.

You are missed.
Mademoiselle F.




I have now posted THREE shirtless pictures of Morrissey on today's blog, as instructed by Fifi, who left this comment yesterday:

If Willow demands more manflesh, she should get some. Give the girl what she wants, Rat.

Plimsoll hugger

And just incase three lots of Moz 'manflesh' isn't enough, here is another, although surely this picture has had some airbrushing/touching up?

Anyway, back to the return of Parody Moz. Not only did he mention his novel, it is MORE than exciting to read that Morrissey's next album will be released in early 2016, and of course, when it IS released in 2016, NOBODY will remember that Parody Moz mentioned it first, and even if they DO remember, they will say it is yet ANOTHER coincidence.

Parody Moz also made quite a few references to death last night, which was probably sparked by the death of Leee Black Childers, the infamous 60s & 70s Rock n Roll photographer, or who knows, maybe Our Mozzer was moved by yesterday's death of Peaches Geldof? Either way, death was on his mind..... but then again, it often is!


Another VERY interesting tweet of note from Parody Moz yesterday, was the confirmation that the new album title WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, was inspired by a tweet from Our Mozzer, aimed at Tony Blair, and therefore DIDN'T come from Abraham-Hicks, as was initially thought by some. Let me repeat that, Morrissey's new album title is a direct quote from MorrisseysWorld! You couldn't make this up.

And what was this tweet all about?: "The bed was stiff with regret, Your hands were colder than lust, My name is a knife, It cuts deep into your soul, Like hydraulic acid, Like absolutely nothing. Beyond Death lies a promise, Beyond death lies hope, Beyond death lies envy and freedom, Beyond death I am, Like a parasite, Eating still."

Is it from the novel?


Broken has yet to return to the Twitterdilly Arms, but he did make a return to FTM 'late last night' *coughs* to leave these comments regarding MorrisseysWorld and the latest parody piece. Notice how Broken starts off being nice to me, and within two minuted is calling me a c***!:

You can't leave MW. It's a curse - only a pleasant one.

TRB is the hero of MW.

You missed out the first speech marks. And you called it 'greenhouse' instead of 'a greenhouse.' And you didn't put 'Morrissey wine' in italics, only the wine bit. C***.

Plus, you need at least two shirtless pics of Moz and one gratuitous pic of JB shirtless, as well as Boz in drag.

Christ - everyone knows that. Come on, up your game. 

Adjust the piece as per the above, and who knows? Perhaps parts III and IV will be forthcoming?
Oh and don't repost the thing. Just add the pics in and adjust the grammar.

So that's it. Our Mozzer, Broken and Fifi have all put in an appearance, but was it a one off, or are they back? Will Part III of the parody piece appear soon..... or EVER?

There was no Twitterdilly Chart produced today, mainly because there was very little music played in the Arms over the past seven days, but Astraea has made an appearance this afternoon, and has been playing some Timi Yuro, Lesley Gore, Wanda Jackson and The Smiths, so we should be ok for a chart next week.

And finally, our old friend Rosy Mires has tweeted to say that she is currently on Jury service. Bearing in mind that Rosy has seen ALL the evidence of MorrisseysWorld, and has NOT been able to deduce that Morrissey is involved, then god only knows what she will make of whatever evidence is put in front of her in a court case. It is a parody story in the waiting. Just picture the scene; the defendant's DNA is all over the weapon, he was witnessed committing the crime, but when he issues not one, but four denials, it's enough for Rosy, and she sets about on her campaign to convince the other eleven that the Brighton Basher is completely innocent.

Foot Note: The web address WorldPeaceIsNoneOfYourBusiness.Com was registered on March 7th. Is Moz building a website?

Another Foot Note: Universal are still sending out emails as if they are from Morrissey, regarding Record Store Day. I received one to say that So little time by Diana Dors is being released. And on the subject of records, Boz Boorer's record shop, Vinyl Boutique, is opening this Sunday. I wonder if he's have any of his wine on sale too?...... if the wine still belongs to him!


  1. Sadly, I missed the excitement due to being airborne at the time. I was, however, able to catch up before Parody disappeared again. There is so much more to come, so we just have to wait!

    In addition, Fifi is correct per usual: The more shirtless photos, the better.

  2. ah you say France I say l 00 k out WEHO

  3. The return of Our Mozzer is always a welcome one. As ever full of wit & lyrical words.

    Just caught up with Astraea's musical selections. She introduced me to Wanda Jackson a while back, I've since bought some of her music which is another treasure to add to my collection. So many thanks again to you Astraea.

    Warm wishes to you all at BRS.

  4. The more flesh the more followers!

  5. Airbrushed?

    P. Nya c/o Lada - Just passing by

    1. If you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, if you're not into yoga and you have half a brain.
      Love, Rupert Holmes ha ha :-)

      Its great news to hear the lovely Fifi has been shimmying in these parts of the Galaxy and Parody Moz was back for a bit.

    2. Dear Anon, if it isn't airbrushed, then is it still looking that good?

      Babe E. Sham

    3. No photoshopping in that photo! That is all real.

    4. Airbrushed....Hmmm...sensing a little jealousy maybe? Lovely photo - nice composition & good use of light & shadow.a work of art.This blog has improved aesthetically, & the writing is not half bad either.
      P.S. Thank you Fifi for championing my cause. I love it when you boss Mr Rat around..makes my day.

  6. You may well be on to something with that website.

  7. so very saddened to hear about Peaches.
    my heart goes out to Bob.
    Fifi and Pixie who have now lost a sister as well as a mother
    and Thomas and their 2 sons.
    it is sad beyond words.

  8. Ooh la la Rats, I'm loving all the shirtless pics and the inclusion of the live link - thank you. It was lovely to see Our Mozzer in the Arms for a few hours. Unfortunately, I wasn't really able to chat so I hope he might return again soon. I'm thrilled at the prospect of a novel and second new album within the next couple of years - bring on the global takeover!

  9. Thank you Mr Ratty, FTM now appears to have the correct proportion of Moz pics vs others. I am looking forward to the new album and book, which if it's not published until 2015, will give me time to finish most of the others I have sitting around my house--provided I resist buying more at the summer yard sales and art festivals. BRS

  10. Hello Rat, a lot of interesting news and very, very beautiful pics, as usual. Thank you, Romina, with a low wifi connection. Ciao.


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