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Thursday, 1 May 2014

Day 960 - Fifi's Coming Home

Fifi is out of rehab, her bag is packed, and she is on her way back to the Twitterdilly Arms, probably holding her head in despair at the ineptitude of the BRS in stringing together a few words of French, and place them on a t-shirt!


Here is the word received yesterday from Fifi's sunscreen spreader, Jeanne Gabin:

OK, you need my help here.
It's not "sacré bleu" my dear Rah, it's "Sacrebleu!", it's old French.
And you would not say "Qui sont la société de rose bleue?" or whatever it is you wrote in your other post, it is hard to translate it into French. You'd write "Qui est la Société de la rose bleue?" but that sounds a bit strange, or "Qui se cache derrière la société de la rose bleue?" (which means "Who's hiding behind the BRS?) but neither sounds quite right and they're a bit too obvious if you want my opinion (and you probably don't).
You can believe me, I am French, born arrogant and rude. I promise you.
Mademoiselle F. asked me to help you so if you need any more translations, let me know, that's what I am here for.

Mademoiselle F's SPF-30 spreader, Mr M's tea-stirrer and now Rat's personal translator

Thank you, thank you, thank you, or rather, merci, merci, merci. Do you have a name? If not, make one up.... most people do around here! "Morrissey? Sacrebleu!" It is still my favourite.

One last question to our new French friend, what t-shirt design do YOU prefer? (Please say mine, I'm very proud of the idea!)

Ps SPF-30? 30? Not with THAT tan!

I like all designs and all ideas because they were made with the heart.
Your enthusiasm is much appreciated by the Management.
Being French, I think it is fun you want to use french phrases and I am prepared to help.
My thought is - Keep it as simple as possible. Think about something that most people would not understand, if they are not part of the BRS because you are only doing this for the BRS and obviously for the Man Himself. Whatever it is, He will know what it is about. He will.
Mademoiselle's skin is very delicate hence the SPF-30. She checked herself out of rehab, she is now ready to join the Arms again. I am not sure when but it's going to happen. Be prepared, I believe she is worse than she was. Rehab apparently was a total waste of time and of her boss's money...

Jeanne Gabin


So there we have it, Morrissey likes all our ideas, and thinks it would be fun to use a French phrase. He also has told us to "keep it as simple as possible" and to "think about something that most people would not understand if they are not part of the BRS." This makes the idea of the shirt with Jean Cocteau exclaiming in surprise that he is drawing the Blue Rose for Morrissey perfect. It is subtle, and yet we, the BRS understand it's meaning and origin.

Jjazzy has prepared an image of the shirt, and although Jeanne Gabin has advised that "Sacrebleu" is one word, the word originates from Sacré Bleu, meaning sacred blue, so I don't think it matters which way we use it...... trust me, I too am French, well, as French born as our new friend Jeanne Gabin!


The idea of a t-shirt with just the name MORRISSEwritten on it, with the four letters in blue, is also a simple, subtle and poplar idea, so if Vulgar Angie and Jjazzy dont like the Cocteau idea, then perhaps they could make that one. Jjazzy is also working on an idea using the Conan picture with the owl eyes.

It has been announced by a twitter user called Lee Thompson (@leethommo), that Morrissey is set to release three new singles in a three week period.... one a week, around the time of his birthday in May. Thompson has also added that the album is on it's way, probably through Virgin EMI in the UK, as they look after Capitol in these parts:

Three new Morrissey singles on the way, folks. One every week, coming soon. Hurrah.

Official Moz announcement will be soon, I expect, but album's on the way and it's probably through Virgin. Single's are around his birthday.


I have not heard of Lee Thompson before, but..... hold on, why has my type set changed, and how do I put it back to how it should be? Bloody computers. Never mind, where was I? Oh yes, Lee Thompson is apparently the Music Editor at 'Record of the Day' so it is his job to keep his ear to the ground. The idea of Morrissey releasing singles in this manner seems VERY feasible to me, and it is something I wrote about on Day 149 of FTM, back in February 2012. It makes perfect sense in this day and age for an artist to release more than one single prior to an album release, and I have no idea why more artists haven't done it before. Eminem did it very successfully last year, releasing four singles over an eight week period in the lead up to releasing The Marshall Mathers LP 2

A big difference between Morrissey and Eminem, is that Moz will want his singles to be released on vinyl (as will we), but is this likely to happen straight away, or will Moz release the vinyls at a later date, as he did with Satellite of Love? Personally I hope the vinyl is available on the same release date as the download, to maximise week one sales, and ensure that each of the singles does well in the singles chart.

THREE NEW MORRISSEY SINGLES! COMING WITHIN THE NEXT MONTH! I honestly believe that I may actually wet myself. At my age, it's an easy enough feat to wet oneself without any reason, but with THREE NEW MORRISSEY SINGLES........Let the pissing begin.


  1. I must say again how happy I am that Fifi is returning. I will have a bottle of Veuve on ice ready when she decides to shimmy her Louboutins into the Arms.

    It is incredibly exciting news to hear the singles are on their way. What will they be? Will Istanbul be among them?

  2. holding her head in despair at the ineptitude of the BRS in stringing together a few words of French, and place them on a t-shirt!

    - haha rat like it!
    yeah I know, the dreary deluded dozen can't even put a t shirt together!!

  3. The tour starts in less than a week, there are three singles on the way, and Fifi will be returning? Laissez les bons temps rouler! (as they say in New Orleans but not in France - I hope this doesn't offend Jeanne or Fifi's proper French ears. Speaking of which, 'sacrebleu' really should be all one word on the t-shirt.)

  4. Roses are Red, Roses are Blue- FIFI loves both of them, so bring some for her at Show or Two!

    1. Roses are red, roses are blue, white roses change color in Jacoby's view.


    2. Oh Margret, HOW we have missed you. Come back to twitter.

      Colonel Mustard

    3. M. Moutarde, my log tells me that wasn't Margaret, you were obviously fooled by the artful misspelling of "colour".

      Víctor M. Blanco

    4. Fooled indeed. And my log tells me that you aren't Víctor M. Blanco and you therefore don't have a Zeta Sculptoris in the centre of your Blanco 1 constellation.

      Arlo White

    5. Dear Mr. White, you should spank your log for judging so hastily. I'm of course not a dead astronomer, but a hugely successful celebrity stylist with more twitter followers than Sophie Marceau. Which also explains the M in my name, I love mocking her, that cutie, but I doubt she got the joke.
      Buy my book.

      Víctor M. Blanco

    6. While you're busy on the internet purchasing my amazingly successful book, thus adding to my welfare, which I humbly appreciate, I'm taking the liberty of requesting that my secretary will be unblocked on twitter by the freshly respawned @morrisseyparody account. I'd rather have her busy reading his tweets, because despite my explicit orders, she tends to randomly troll innocent internet people when she gets bored or annoyed, which affects my reputation.

      Rest assured that I won't hesitate to give her an appropriate amount of spanking for it. I'm even considering to let her retype the Encyclopedia Britannica on my retired E. Remington and Sons typewriter with that sadistically sabotaged 'e' letter, should she not obey my commands, but you know these women, there's no reasoning with them. For your convenience, and in case you haven't guessed it already, her account is mundanely called @chuck_307. Thank you for passing on my request, I have no doubts that we'll both benefit from it.

      Fondest regards,

      Víctor M. Blanco

  5. If anybody sees that Log Lady can you tell her to come home, her dinner is ready.

    Log Man (previously unheard of)

  6. Well this was an eventful day.


    Jigsaw, jigsaw, jigsaw!

  8. It was a fabulous day in The Arms today! I know you will write about it Mr. Rat. I just had to comment. The delightful M. Fifi returned and what a remarkable entrance she made!! The lovely Star Maiden Astraea took a break from her duties of bringing back The Golden Age to mingle with her devotees. A charming group of BRS members was there to greet these exquisite ladies. I believe Mr. Rat, Willow, Heather, Bunnygal, EARS, Kirk and myself were there for the special occasion. If I left anyone out, I apologize. BTW the above Anonymous comment video is "I Touch Roses" by Book of Love :-)

    1. It was terrific stuff, I'm glad that Willow and other recent recruits were there to experience it, the Twit Arms at its best, although not much booze was sold and the jukebox was quiet, everybody was too busy fussing around Fifi and Astraea.

  9. Who is hiding behind the blue rose in French is perfect
    I do like that a lot

    But what if we use the picture of Madeam Fifi above

  10. I'd just like to point out an error of yours, Ratty. You captioned the first picture of Fifi as 'Madam' Fifi. She happens to be a Mademoiselle...wild & free & flighty!


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