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Friday, 23 May 2014

Day 982 - Parody & Chart... A Perfect Blog Entry

(The setting is a bedroom of a luxury hotel in Dallas Texas. It is 4.30 am, present day. Iconic pop star, Morrissey, and his musical director Boz Boorer, are in bed. Boz is fast asleep. Morrissey is watching a video on Youtube. He elbows Boz hard in the ribs.)


L TO R: MOZ AND BOZ


BOZ: (eyes still closed, and sounding disorientated) Eh? What is... who went where?

MOZ: That is quite possibly the most intelligent sentence that you have ever uttered, old son. Wake yourself up, I need wafting, and I need you to look at this.

BOZ: Eh?

MOZ: Wafting, Boz. It's hot in here, I need a waft. Grab a palm leaf and waft away.

BOZ: I haven't got a palm leaf, Moz, and I'm not your wafter, I'm your musical director.

MOZ: Which is why I have woken you. Have you seen this video? (Morrissey hands Boz his iPad, which is playing a song called Unknown Species by Pretty Little Demons. Boz rubs his eyes and watches for about 30 seconds.)



BOZ: Yes, you showed it to me yesterday.

MOZ: (Sounding irritated) How?

BOZ: How?

MOZ: (still irritated) Yes Boz, how?

BOZ: How what?

MOZ: (even more irritated) How has a twelve year old girl managed to get Log Lady to appear on her Twin Peaks based pop video Boz? How?

BOZ: I suppose she just asked her.

(Morrissey looks to the ceiling, and rolls his tongue around the inside of his cheek)

MOZ: Then why didn't you ask her to appear in my Twin Peaks based videos? Can you imagine the impact the spoken word video of World Peace is None of Your Business would have had on sales, if Log Lady had recited the lyrics whilst stroking her log? If I'd had Margret Lanterman and her log rather than Nancy and her sodding brief case, World Peace would have gone viral. Forget number eighty bastard three, I'd have had my first number 1. Same for Istanbul; which despite being yet another piece of hard hitting poetical beauty by you know who, is heading absolutely nowhere near the sodding charts.

BOZ: Istanbul's had 49,000 hits Moz! That ain't bad! 5,000 more than your first one, and it's only been out a few days.

MOZ: Ain't bad? Ain't bad? How many hits has old Coldvoice had with that nauseating song of his?

BOZ: Which one?

MOZ: (shouting) The elephant one, Boz, the sodding elephant one!

(Boz types elephant Coldplay video into Google)

BOZ:  279 million, 904 thousand, 406.

MOZ: Now that ain't bad, Boz, and the song is appalling. Appalling! Log Lady's talents have been completely and utterly wasted on those two girls. How many hits has their video had?

(Boz goes back a page)

BOZ: 9,287.

(Morrissey puts his head in his hands)

MOZ: Losing Françoise was bad enough, but log Lady too! Why me? Why is it always me?

BOZ: What do you mean, Moz?

MOZ: You wouldn't understand Boz, you wouldn't understand. I'm going back to sleep.

Fin

There is very little information coming through from last night's birthday concert in Dallas, and the ONLY video clips to appear on Youtube so far are of the introduction, Everyday is Like Sunday, and a 20 second snippet of FOTGTD. In the introduction, Morrissey says, "The question (pause) the question I have to ask is... where the hell did those 32 years go?"

INTRO:


SUNDAY:


FOTGTD:


Set list
1. One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell
2. Speedway
4. I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris
5. Earth is the Loneliest Planet
7. The Bullfighter Dies
8. Hand in Glove
9. The Youngest Was the Most Loved
10. Life is a Pigsty
11. Trouble Loves Me
12. World Peace Is None of Your Business
13. Yes, I Am Blind
14. Meat Is Murder
15. The National Front Disco
Encore
16. Asleep
17. First of the Gang to Die

Morrissey-16.jpg

Parody Moz didn't make it into The Twitterdilly Arms for his birthday party yesterday, so it took place without him. A fairly good crowd piled in, which included Mademoiselle Fifi, but she stormed out when somebody decided to start playing Wham! songs on the jukebox. The joke has worn thin, and the playing of Wham! songs is now strictly prohibited in The Arms.

Fifi did very briefly pop back in, to post that Pretty Little Demons song which is featured in today's parody piece. I have never heard of the group before, but it transpires that it is made up of 11 year old Marlhy Murphy and 13 year old Lydia Night. To have managed to get Catherine E. Coulson to reprise her role as Log Lady is quite some coup, and why no other group have thought to do this before is bizarre. I, like Moz, blame Boz. Well somebody has to take the blame!


Astraea popped into The Arms at 4.30am (Dallas time) today, and posted this: "Urgent Vacancy: Manservant. Apply within. Bring references, champagne, grapes, and palm leaves. And a tray of cold drinks." I am guessing that a good night was had by all. Nobody replied to Astraea's posting, so she followed it up with: "18 minutes and not one single applicant. Just can't get the help these days! I'm going back to bed. Thank god for Brigitte's legs."

Astraea played a couple of songs on the JB the other day, which I forgot to mention; Françoise Hardy singing Des ronde dans l'eau and Now You Want To Be Loved, plus Nico's We've Got the Gold:







There is no more to report, and there is also no concert tonight, so it might be a quiet weekend. It's been a busy old week, and I can't help wondering what will become of the @itsmorrissey twitter account. SURELY Morrissey isn't going to let 285,000 followers just slip away? One or two might have downloaded Istanbul. There HAS to be more to come from that story, and just HOW did Harvest take control of the account without Morrissey's password. Did Twitter give them access?


TWITTERDILLY ARMS TOP 20 (AS PRESENTED BY FLUFF RAT AT 4PM TODAY, TO AN AUDIENCE THAT INCLUDED FIFI AND LE TALISMAN DU RAT (HE CHANGED HIS NAME..... AND ALSO POSTED ANOTHER PICTURE:

Embedded image permalink
PICTURE POSTED ON TWITTER BY @THERATSTALISMAN

I've just realised that I am still inside a bracket. I've never placed a photo in a bracket before!)

1. TROUBLE LOVES ME (LIVE IN SANTA ANA... WEARING HIS BLUE ROSE) - MORRISSEY (NO CHANGE) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmvZvitpZ_U&feature=youtu.be

2. YES, I AM BLIND (LIVE IN SANTA ANA... RECEIVING HIS BLUE ROSE) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sTDWGqBdfo

3. LIFE IS A PIGSTY (LIVE IN ALBUQUERQUE) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8CZwDAWvfo

4. WORLD PEACE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS (THE SPOKEN WORD) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WltvzfNMiF0

5. ISTANBUL (THE SPOKEN WORD)/ISTANBUL (DOUBLE 'A' SIDE) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7fOJZ68gc0 + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcGGojgYZQw

6. I KNOW IT'S GONNA HAPPEN SOMEDAY (LIVE IN UTAH)/ SOMEDAY FOR PETA (DOUBLE 'A' SIDE) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXS7ce8v5qs + PETA video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdMffjLX5T8

7. BULLFIGHTER (LIVE IN UTAH) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=UUvKic3sCNUy08kteJjZdfMg&v=2IMPzDv4qz0

8. GIRL LEAST LIKELY TO (LIVE IN EL PASO) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4maruiJDt5o

9. THE NATIONAL FRONT DISCO (LIVE IN EL PASO) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_D5QtbVksg

10. GANGLORD (LIVE IN EL PASO) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcL4U0Tgwmo&list=UUjce7WXXcWqEvrdahqwCInw

11. SPEEDWAY (LIVE IN EL PASO) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V_CEd2umeY

12. HAND IN GLOVE (LIVE IN EL PASO) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0Zmbd2Q4pY

13. THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS IS IN THIS LITTLE BOTTLE - KRISTEEN YOUNG (LIVE IN ALBUQUERQUE (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM6PGQQuyiw

14. EVERYDAY IS LIKE SUNDAY (LIVE IN UTAH) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp00IFehGuE

15. EARTH IS THE LONELIEST PLANET (LIVE IN LA) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bw8YHZmcdXU

16. PAROLES, PAROLES - DALIDA & ALAIN DELON (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ifJapuqYiU

17. WPINOYB (LIVE IN UTAH) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=UUvKic3sCNUy08kteJjZdfMg&v=b-ulC_dvuBA

18. I HAVE FORGIVEN JESUS (LIVE IN LINCOLN) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xgA6Otdb3Q

19. MEAT IS MURDER (LIVE IN DENVER) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MVhYo_LwVY

20. ASLEEP (LIVE IN DENVER) - MORRISSEY (NEW ENTRY): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upTsf8MAJWI

BUBBLING UNDER

THERE IS A LIGHT THAT NEVER GOES OUT - MILEY CYRUS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XKlpU41UJ4


31 comments:

  1. Talisman clearly models his shirt style on TRM. * Cough * .

    ReplyDelete
  2. Coldplay getting more views than Moz is simply a crime.

    I've heard the show last night was amazing and I hope the Birthday boy had a wonderful evening.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Charming Top 20, as always. I hope Astraea can find a Manservant! Fifi, you're looking positively radiant. Time for me to go play tennis. Have a heteromorphic weekend, all.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 3 comments in 7 hours! It's as though I hardly exist anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't exist. The ego is a fiction. And some fiction's are a lot bigger than others.

      Delete
    2. So needy & insecure, Ratty. Not everyone comments, but they read, & appreciate your hard work. I'm not saying I do, I'm just referring to your blog readers in general.
      Maybe I should offer an apology for playing the Wham songs on the jukebox, but I don't want to. I love seeing Mademoiselle Fifi flounce away dramatically. A sight to behold. And very amusing. Such a dramatic little profiterole. Most deserving of extra chocolate sauce.
      And Pusscat, my gardener has a twin brother who has had to leave his current employment for being too sexy, & apparently has a thing for French accents.

      Delete
    3. oh just get on with it mard-arse

      Delete
    4. Scrumpet,

      Tell this new prospect he should come to my chambers. To be interviewed, of course. And tell him he doesn’t need to worry about putting his best foot forward. I’ll only be interested in his very worst behaviour.

      By the way, you know what they say about Steve McQueen, don’t you?

      'If it looks like Steve McQueen, if it acts like Steve McQueen, and if it moves like Steve McQueen…'

      Then they say... Oooh LA LA!!

      Delete
    5. Oh Pusscat, I do like a man who inspires an 'Oooh LA LA! !' So few do these days. I can only think of 3 or 4 right now. I may go & wallow in a bubble bath & think about them some more.

      Delete
  5. Very funny Ratty, as amusing as the others!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sorry Rats, I've been too busy to comment until now. There's more to life than comments, you know. Thanks for the very funny parody. I had also been wondering how the Pretty Little Demons got Log Lady to appear in their video. I think perhaps it would be a little too unsubtle for her to appear in any Moz videos! Outstanding chart today, thanks to all the delectable morsels Moz has been sharing with us - a delightful feast for the senses.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for another funny parody and great countdown. Coldplay's higher number is most likely because they have been guests on numerous shows recently plugging their new album. Been busy here because we finally got nice weather and have been attempting to get caught up with the yard work--only about 4 weeks behind. Hope you have a great weekend, we have a 3 day weekend here in the states--yeah! #BRS

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sorry for the delay in commenting Rats. I have a busy few days with a big family birthday.

    Funny parody with Moz & Boz in bed Eric & Ernie style!
    The chart was cracking, so many Moz gems to enjoy. Grand to see Kristeen making an appearance too - she's bloody great.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Testing... 1. 2. Testing.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boFYrCbjSyU&t=1m30s

    ReplyDelete
  10. I guess the @itsmorrissey twitter account will be on hold for 30 days and then be up for grabs, presumably minus the blue badge.
    Odd though that the hashtag started appearing on the wheat paste posters at about the same time as @itsmorrissey resurfaced. All looked to be part of a promotional campaign. Wonder who the ‘interlopers’ were.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my guess harvest was using it and one of them got carried away pretending to tweet like moz (or what they thought moz would tweet like) who was already pissed as he had not given permission to have the account used, hence we have shutdown..just a guess mind

      Delete
    2. If that's what you really think Manc Lad old son, then you haven't been paying attention to what's been going on around these parts.

      Jackie Omassacist

      Delete
    3. Everyone a gem, including the faux names. Just brilliant !

      LizzyCatMoz ( unplugged as usual )

      Delete
    4. Every ( space ) one a gem !!

      Lizzy

      Delete
    5. Morrissey started it then realised his heart was with the BRS. Viva Moz! Viva Blue Rose!

      Delete
    6. Somehow I don’t think it was Harvest; partly because the twitter account would have already had to be transferred to them from whoever set it up and got it verified in 2009; but also because of their tweet about taking over @itsmorrissey to protect it from interlopers.
      I don’t do Faceache, but I did see the post on there on 14 May that linked to the @itsmorrissey twitter account saying ‘Feel free to reach out’. I just looked for that and cannot see it so has that now been removed? My guess is that maybe there was a link between the FB and the twitter account. Odd that the twitter account was deactivated but that the ‘official’ Morrissey FB is still active.
      This is a case for Columbo.

      Delete
    7. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    8. Oh pooh!!
      Harvest Records.com have Morrissey's FB and 'official site' as the 'official' Morrissey FB. But, but, but.........

      Delete
    9. Anyone know why morrisseysworld.com linked to here? http://ohwellenough.webs.com/

      Delete
    10. I say again, Morrissey would have been well pissed.. dunno.. me.. poor manc talk, yes some talk like that, but Morrissey put that kind of talk behind him years ago

      Delete
    11. also dearest Jackie, paying attention has never been one of my strong points, of that you can be 100% sure

      Delete
  11. I wanted relate this small tidbit. We go to a club I belong to on Friday after tennis. After about 20 beers I decided to check out the jukebox. Its an internet connected machine. I wanted to see if "Istanbul" was there. Quite to my surprise it was there. So I decided to play it along with "Maladjusted". Both songs got a nice reception from the patrons. You must remember, the normal fare in this bar is Toby Keith, Poison, Brad Paisley and Bongiovi. I was both surprised and pleased. Several people came up to me and asked who it was that I played. 2 people actually knew of Morrissey. All the comments were very positive.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Appears it was a weekend of wonders. Harrison visits a bar whose patrons tend to be more country and he gets them interested in Moz. My friend takes her 4yo to the zoo and when asked afterwards what animal she saw was her favorite she replied 'the Unicorn' and drew a picture of it. Meanwhile, my 8yo grandson spent it looking for Bigfoot in the wild area behind our house(everyone hid their phones so he couldn't use it for pics), and part of my twitter name ended up on tee shirts Moz's band wore in Austin--not sure what this meant. Sort of like seeing 'ratty man' on a shirt.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Quick hello for you and all BRS, you are always on my mind! Oh, thanks God I wrote on and not in....

    ReplyDelete

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