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Thursday, 5 June 2014

Day 995 - Life is a Pickle Jar, and Kristeen Young Soars Away

I wasn't going to write a blog entry today, but earlier this afternoon (mid morning East Coast USA) Kristeen Young announced that she would no longer be opening for Morrissey, so here I am.

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If I'm honest, I had guessed that something was afoot when KY revealed to me on Tuesday that she had sung on the Morrissey song Kick the Bride Down the Aisle. It wasn't exactly an act of treachery by Kristeen to make such a revelation, but it was a surprise none the less, because Morrissey is usually so secretive about such things.

KY had also announced on Tuesday that she was not ill; after it had initially been stated that her illness was one of the reasons that Wednesday's Atlanta show had been cancelled. Again, it looked as though KY was being slightly defiant, and the cancellation statement had to be changed to a virus affecting Morrissey/band and crew. It should also be noted by all those concerned for Morrissey's health, that a virus doesn't necessarily have to be bacterial! Cue Log Lady, "Viruses come in many different forms. Viruses can spread, viruses can be contained, viruses....", actually, I haven't got time to be Log Lady, so I shall continue.

I knew before Kristeen's Facebook announcement that she was leaving the tour, as Morrissey had hinted it to me in the toilets of The Twitterdilly Arms an hour earlier. Those toilets don't half see some action! Morrissey didn't go into the ins and outs, or the whys and wherefores, but my guess would be that Kristeen has not made herself available for future legs of the tour, and there may therefore have been a little tantrum thrown. As I say, it's just a guess, perhaps there weren't any tantrums at all, but the fact that Kristeen is leaving straight away reminds me of an incident that happened to me once.

I won't bore anybody with the whole of my story, but basically I had an employee who was by far my best worker. One day she told me she was leaving; to set up in the same industry on her own. It had apparently taken her ages to make the decision to go it alone, and it had also taken her ages to pluck up the courage to tell me. She cried genuine tears as she handed in her resignation and I was fully aware of how much she loved working for both me and my company. Did I hug her and wish her all the best? No, I kicked her out on the spot and didn't even let her say her goodbyes to colleagues. I have very few regrets in life, but that reaction of mine on that September day in 2007 was not one i look back with with any sense of satisfaction.

It is a real shame that Kristeen is leaving Morrissey's tour, but as I told Morrissey in the toilets, I personally believe it is the right thing for her to do. The Knife Shift is one of my favourite albums EVER, and Kristeen Young is a tremendously talented artist who should be headlining her own tours. What is a terrible, terrible shame, is that KY is leaving the Morrissey tour with immediate effect. It would be great if that wasn't to happen after all.

For the record, here is Morrissey's official announcement:

Morrissey Official
Musician/Band · 1,236,527 Likes
As Morrissey and the touring party recover from a virus, the engagement in Atlantic City at the Revel Ovation Hall has been postponed to Sunday, June 22. All previously purchased tickets will be honored on the new date. The tour will resume as originally scheduled, without question, at the Boston Opera House on Saturday, June 7.

Only yesterday, a new Kristeen Young interview was posted on Redeyechicago.Com, and in the interview Kristeen spoke affectionately about Moz, saying, "he's very giving to me actually. He opens my pickle jars.",0,4537825.story?page=1

It is now time for Kristeen to open her own pickle jars. She has the voice of a bird, so I dearly hope she soars like one too, she deserves to. If she ever tours the UK, I will be at the front of the queue.

And now, I just can't wait for Morrissey to return to the stage on Saturday. He is at his peak, and is heading back to Number 1. I have offered the services of myself and Willow as the new opening act. Morrissey replied, "What? As an opening act? You and Plimsoll lady are hired. Start rehearsing."

*Goes off to rehearse*


  1. Mr. Rat, if you and Willow are the new opening act, better work on your footwork and quickness. This way you will be prepared to be dodging the plimsolls thrown from the audience, along with the boos and catcalls. No disrespect to you or the lovely Willow of course. :-). I think the charming Fifi would be a better choice. She could do a vaudeville act with plenty of shimmying.

  2. maybe moz could contact the smoking popes

  3. "Plimsoll Lady"????!!!!!!!

    1. You do have an unnatural fetish

  4. I eagerly await Saturday in my lovely city! I hope he is alright.

  5. I do hope Moz is ok, & the stresses & strains of touring aren't telling on his health too badly.Whatever the situation is with Kristeen, I do hope she is ok too & that there is no ill feeling between them.
    Plimsoll Lady & The Rat-Faced Boy will be rehearsing tomorrow in The Arms, so I would advise everyone to got to the pub around the corner, The Tossing Returns.

    1. Hi Willow!! I was wondering, instead of "The Plimsoll Lady" could we call you "Lady Plimsoll"? I think it sounds much more sophisticated and English. I hope the rehearsals go well. j/k I couldn't resist :-)

  6. I really enjoyed Kristeen's set in Nashville and I'm sorry to see her go. As Willow said, I just hope everyone is ok. I look forward to seeing the plimsoll-rodent act in Chicago; in the meantime, however, I have earplugs ready for upcoming rehearsals.

  7. I am sorry to read this news. I wish Kristeen all the very best & would love the opportunity to see her in concert again.
    As some of the others have mentioned I also hope Morrissey is doing OK & taking good care of himself.

  8. I don't know how they will fill the opening act slot.
    rolling eyes and eating caramacs does not maketh a support act.
    just sayin.

  9. Hello Ratty, my opinion about Kristeen will never change, she's a talented and original woman and her new album is very interesting, but I think is not very professional leave a planned tour after only one show cancelled due illness and simply saying we wont. I dont wanna add something more about this and I know you're busy with rehearsal...Romina, with 'usband's tablet and with the suspect of aa surprise....


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