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Friday, 8 August 2014

Day 1059 - Jonathan Ross cheers up Morrissey.... plus a NEW parody.

On August 2nd, Jonathan Ross (@Wossy) tweeted, "The new Morrissey album is super." Late last night, Wossy tweeted, "OK, so, I don't like to brag, but I think I managed to cheer Morrissey up a little today. I will sleep well tonight." When @Mozzerlyrics then asked Wossy if there was any chance of having Mozzer on his show, Wossy replied, "fingers crossed", and then added that his show was back in October.

If Morrissey is to appear on The Jonathan Ross Show, perhaps we could expect something like this:

JONATHAN ROSS: (Addressing the studio audience and looking into the camera) Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my vewy gweat pwivilege and pleasure to welcome our final guest this evening, and it is a man who needs no introduction whatsoever; although he has insisted on having one, so here it comes.*Audience laugh* This man is an icon of Bwitish music, and not only has he got five number one albums to his name, he has also managed six number two albums, including his latest super long player, World Peace Is None of Your Business, so could you please put your hands together and give a warm welcome to, Mowwissey.

(The audience clap and Morrissey enters the studio, wearing jeans, a smart button shirt, and a jacket
which has a blue rose in the button hole.)

JR: Welcome.

MORRISSEY: Rarely welcome, Jonathan. In fact, usually most un-welcome.

JR: Well, you're always welcome here Mowwissey. And let me start by congratulating you on the amazing success of your latest album, World Peace is None of Your Business, which I have to say, is already one of my favourite albums of yours ever, *Morrissey smiles in a humble manor, and bites his lip* but yet another Number 2.

MORRISSEY: Yes, once again the bridesmaid, Jonathan, once again the bridesmaid.


JR: I have a copy of the album here, *JR reaches under the desk and pulls out a vinyl copy of the album* (Addressing the audience) and look at this Ladies and Gentlemen, it is an actual wecord, not a cd or download. Wecords do still exist, and I would like to thank Mowwissey's guitarist, Boz Boorer *gestures towards Boz who is stood over on the band stage with the rest of the musicians* for bringing in the album from his marvellous little wecord shop in Camden called, Vinyl Boutique.




JR: (Shouting over to Boz) Can I keep it? *Boz shouts something back which isn't picked up by the studio mic, but the studio audience hear it and laugh* (Addressing the camera) I don't know if you heard that at home, but Boz says I can keep it if I give him eighteen quid *Studio audience laugh again*
(Addressing the audience, Morrissey and the camera) Eighteen quid? No wonder wecords have disappeared. The last time I bought an album on vinyl it was a fiver; mind you, that was back in the eighties *Audience laugh* Make It Big by Wham!. *Audience laugh again* I wonder what happened to Wham!? *Audience laugh again and Morrissey offers a polite chortle*
(Addressing Morrissey) So, Mowwissey, a number two wecord, achieved with virtually NO publicity whatsoever, and with no personal appearances. It is pretty unheard of in this day and age for anybody to have such success without personal pwomotion, but is it twue what I wead in a statement of yours, that not one single television show throughout the world invited you on, in the lead up to the album's welease?

MORRISSEY: Perfectly true, Jonathan. Perfectly true. Not even an invitation onto Richard and Judy, let alone a programme with some actual viewers. *The audience laugh*

JR: You know if I'd been on air, I'd have had you on.

MORRISSEY: But alas, Jonathan, you weren't.

JR: You should've waited to welease the album around now. You never know, you might've achieved the Number 1.

MORRISSEY: I don't think even an appearance on your show would have helped me topple the mighty Dread Sheeran from the top of the UK chart. *Audience laugh*

JR: Mind you, Ed's album is rather good, don't you think?

MORRISSEY: I've not heard it.

JR: Really? Do you not listen to any current music?

MORRISSEY: (Smiling and shaking his head) No, Jonathan.

JR: You mean that you don't have 5 Seconds of Summer on your ipod?

MORRISSEY: Who sings it? *Audience laughs*

JR: They're a band, not a song! *Audience laughs again*

MORRISSEY: Well, I don't own an iPod, but if I did, I'd be pretty confident that they wouldn't be on it.

JR: They're quite catchy.

MORRISSEY: I can't catch. *Audience laugh*

JR: Well you seem to be able to catch illnesses all right. You've been through the mill a bit wecently Mowwissey, haven't you?

MORRISSEY: If what I have been through is a mill, then I shall be giving up bread. *Audience and JR laugh*

JR: You've had just about every illness known to mankind, it's a wonder you're still alive. *Audience laugh*

MORRISSEY: I never have been alive, Jonathan. Not in the true sense of the word at any rate.

JR: We're going to hear you sing a song from your new album in a moment, *a solitary whoop is heard from the audience, which causes the rest of the audience to laugh, and Morrissey and JR both chortle too* but before we start talking about your album, I must ask you about that wonderful blue rose you are wearing. I noticed a member of your audience give you a blue rose in your film that came out last year, and I have also noticed on twitter that there is some sort of Morrissey Blue Rose Society, so what's it all about? What is the meaning of the blue rose?

MORRISSEY: Does everything have to have a meaning? Does anything have a meaning? If I'm honest, I really don't know what it's about. One or two of my fans started bringing blue roses to my concerts around three years ago, and others have followed suit.

JR: Perhaps it is because the blue rose represents unwequited love, or maybe it's something to do with Oscar Wilde, whose followers all wore green carnations?

MORRISSEY: You would have to ask my fans. I just keep getting given blue roses, so occasionally I wear one.

JR: It's certainly a very stwiking flower, and of course the blue matches your eyes.

MORRISSEY: Are you flirting with me, Jonathan? *Audience laugh*

JR: Well, I didn't set out to, but you are a very attwactive man, so perhaps sub-consciously I am. *Audience laugh again* Shall we get down to business? *The audience laugh again* Oh, stop it!
 I mean the business of World Peace, although according to you, Mowwissey, World Peace is none of our business.

MORRISSEY: Well, actually it is our business, Jonathan, but the powers that be would prefer it not to be. They would prefer it if none of us got involved in trying to bring about world peace. They would prefer it if we all kept quiet, and left everything in their capable hands, but unfortunately their capable hands don't seem to have saved the people of Syria, or Israel, or the Ukraine. Nothing ever changes. A hundred years ago, the capable hands of our trusted leaders sent over sixteen million people to their death in the Great War, although what exactly was great about it, I really don't understand. There is nothing great about war, Jonathan, but the world leaders continue to fight, and fight and fight, and we commoners are told to be quiet. *Audience claps*

JR: It's heavy stuff on that opening track, but there are some lighter moments on the album as well, including Kiss Me A Lot, which seems to have you snogging all over the place. *Audience and Morrissey laugh*

MORRISSEY: Yes, that one's a bit of a fantasy moment. It isn't real.

JR: The whole album is quite a change of diwection for you musically though, isn't it?

MORRISSEY: Well we aren't One Direction, if that's what you mean, although Boz does sometimes refer to me as Harry Styles, and me to him as Niall. *Audience laugh* Don't ask me the names of the other band members, I haven't a clue. My band that is, not One Direction, I know all their names! *Audience laugh again*

JR: So who came up with the idea of intwoducing such an awway of diffewent instwuments into this album; we've got harps, clarinets, oboes, accordions, and even a didgeridoo.

MORRISSEY: It was very much a team effort. Believe it or not, The Morrissey band is not just me, we all have a part; although of course, my part is considerably bigger than everybody else's. *Audience and JR laugh*

JR: And tell me something about the lywics, there's the serious, the funny, and the surreal all in there.

MORRISSEY: As always, I just let everything spill out of the pen. I have no control.

JR: And although you didn't do any pwomotion for the album, you did pwoduce a number of spoken word videos, didn't you; including one featuring Nancy Sinatra, and another one with Pamela Anderson, which I think we are going to show now. (Addressing the audience) Would you like to see Morrissey in action with Pamela Anderson, ladies and gentlemen? *The audience shout YES* Don't get too excited, it's not like Pammy's video with Tommy Lee, although there is a rather large tower in it. *Audience laugh and the spoken word video for Earth is the Loneliest Planet is played*


*The video finishes, and the audience clap*

JR: How about that ladies and gentlemen, Morrissey and Pamela Anderson in a video for the song, Earth is the Loneliest Planet. *The audience clap again* And that video has already received hundreds of thousands of hits. It won't be long before it overtakes Justin Bieber's Baby and PSY's Gangnam Style as the most watched video on youtube *Audience and Morrissey laugh* (Addressing Morrissey) Well, Morrissey, it's been an absolute pleasure, as always, to have you on the show, and I believe that you, and Boz and the boys are now going to perform for us, is that wight?

MORRISSEY: Sing, not perform, but yes. We're going to play Staircase at the University.

JR: One of my favourites. You'd better go over and join your band, whilst I intwoduce you on stage, but first of all, can you all please put your hands together for Mowwissey. *The audience clap, and Morrissey stands up, bows to the audience, and walks across to join the band*
(Addressing the camera) My thanks to all my guests this week, including Eddie Izzard, Helena Bonham-Carter, Bill Woache and of course, the man who is seeing us out this week with the song Staircase at the University, taken from the hugely successful album, World Peace is None of your Business, it's Mowwissey. *Audience clap and Morrissey and the band swing into action.




If Morrissey were to wear a blue rose on The Jonathan Ross show, the Solowers would go into meltdown. If MorrisseysWorld.Com were to then open on the back of it, Solow would die. The chances of this happening are ZERO! Morrissey would NEVER!

In other news, Our Mozzer once again briefly returned to the Twitterdilly Arms yesterday, but the question now being asked is, "Who is @stillMozsworld?" Broken left this comment this morning, on my blog entry of yesterday, suggesting that @stillMozsworld certainly isn't Our Mozzer:

Witty as ever - not QUITE.

Though the new 'OM' is passable, it's not quite OM is it? No Wildean witticisms, poetic barbs or snide pop culture references; instead just playful banter a la Fifi.

The fact none of you can recognise the difference between OM and this imposter of an imposter confirms OM's decision to leave to be the correct one.

This truly is nothing to do with MW.

I bid you all a good day.

Broken

Posted by Broken to Following The Mozziah at 8 August 2014 07:47



My "witty as ever" comment of yesterday, was actually in reference to TRM's interview answer about acting, and was NOT an observation on the new 'Our Mozzer', who Broken has quite rightly pointed out, is more like Fifi than Parody Moz. The very fact that I wrote about my suspicions yesterday, goes to prove that some of us did recognise the difference between OM and this "imposter of an imposter", with HeatherCat also alerting me to her concerns. As to whether the person tweeting as @stillMozsworld is a completely different person to the one who used to tweet as @MorrisseysWorld and @MorrisseyParody, I really cannot say, but the difference in style WAS noticed.

It is my interpretation that @stillMozsworld is 'The Real Morrissey' as opposed to 'Parody Morrissey', and Moz is currently interacting with us just as Fifi did, and not as Parody Moz used to, with the "Wildean witticisms", "poetic barbs" and "snide pop culture references". Maybe I'm wrong, and perhaps @stillMozsworld isn't Morrissey at all, and was led to us by Astraea just to test us.

Whether Morrissey or not, here are @stillmozsworld 's highlights from yesterday, and a few missing tweets from the other day. I shall refer to @stillMozsworld as SMW rather than OM, as he is NOT OM:

"I am going to give you a chance to influence my listening. One song I should listen to. Now."

In response to the above, @sorcha69 suggested Hiding Tonight by Alex Turner, to which SMW replied, "The most overrated man that ever lived."


ALEX TURNER - "THE MOST OVERRATED MAN THAT EVER LIVED" - SMW

"I am the man in the high castle."

The above tweet was a follow up to the tweet I mentioned on August 6th, in which SMW quoted from The Man in the High Castle, about a "trusty Winchester rifle". Perhaps Morrissey is currently reading this book, which is apparently about how the world might have been, had Germany and Japan won the second world war; if anybody does actually win wars?




In response to @AmIMoving2Fast tweeting, "stillMozsworld A busker in Macclesfield earlier was singing Panic - made me smile as I walked passed": "Was it the drummer?'

I have still not managed to see a copy of the latest Morrissey interview with Hot Press magazine, but more snippets have appeared online, including one question and answer referring to Scottish independence, in which Morrissey says, "They must cut ties with the United King-dumb. I love Scotland and I love the Scottish spirit and they do not need Westminster in the least - it's the other way around."

The above view is completely different to the view expressed by Our Mozzer (@MorrisseyParody) and reported on my blog entry of July 15th, in which OM said, "Just say 'NO' to Scottish independence." I raised this point with SMW yesterday in The Twit Arms, saying, "@stillmozsworld It would appear that Morrissey is all for Scotland leaving the UK; a differing view to yours... or have you changed your mind?". SMW replied, "I change my mind on a daily basis", before adding, "about everything."

SMW's final tweet was, "0 2 be in london", which is not a new exclusive, as a number of other people on twitter had already been speculating about an O2 Arena London concert in November.

That's enough from me for another week, and I now have a weekend of cricket to look forward to. I shall sign off with one last quote from Morrissey's latest Hot Press interview, which is about his writing of Autobiography:

"I wrote the childhood sequence almost as a child might, and the adolescent period as an adolescent might, and the adult section as a... suicidal might. it's really just a factual account of how events affected me, so therefore any criticism of it doesn't make any sense, since I am me, and only I can know what it's like to be me, and so on."

10 comments:

  1. Great Parody piece today Ratster or should that be Watster?
    I do still enjoy watching the 2004 Moz interview on the JR show on YouTube, as if that was 10 years ago?
    In fact I might watch it again now...

    Was just going to reply on yesterday's blog and then saw today's. Good timing!

    As a newcomer to the BRS/DDD I just thought you might like to hear my thoughts after Brokens comment on yesterday's blog left this morning.

    I too did notice the change in tone from MorrisseyParody and St.IllMorrisey, but maybe the clue there is the name change itself?
    I have found St.IllMorrisey warmer and more approachable than MorrisseyParody, Which you could argue because I am a selfish Moz fan, that's how I'd want/expect him to be, so that's why I believe it. Fair enough, but I also believe MorrisseyParody is Moz too!

    I've been interacting with St.Ill as much I can without annoying him (which I've probably failed at terribly)!
    There have been lots instances of tweets that make me certain it is Moz.

    The most obvious being when St.Ill posted a comment about Ed Sheeran which I replied to.

    St.Ill: Dread Sheeran's grimace will haunt my dreams for life.
    Action: And his double chin
    St.Ill: get that man with double chin
    Who'll always cheat and always win
    Who washed his repulsive skin
    In women's tears

    It's an extract from John Betjeman's "Slough"

    The reply was there within the minute of my tweet.
    Yes anybody can log onto google and copy and paste that and tweet it back.
    Yes Moz isn't the only person who reads and loves John Betjeman.
    Yes it is well publicised that Moz sees John Betjeman as one of his heros.
    We all know this...
    But it was the timing, the quick as a flash sharpness in his response. It was very smart, slick and showed his brilliance.

    I also noticed the tweet when he mentioned the word gig (if my memory serves me well I think it was twice). All Morrissey fans know he hates the word "gig". If anyone was going to impersonate him I'm sure with the homework they would've obviously done, that would have been an obvious one to remember. OK it could be a double bluff...
    But I think it was Moz testing, it makes perfect sense to me anyway....??

    Also Morrissey has been very active online recently. Plenty of TTY statements, we can only assume he is finalising his travel plans for the planned concerts announced, and there must be plenty of emails to go through etc. if he is online can he really stop himself peeking into the Twitterdilly Arms? Obviously not!!!

    I do find it uncanny that the St.Ill account opened days before the bodyguard news story broke.
    Did Moz want to interact with his BRS fans. Maybe he knew it would be a little pick me up? He did seem extremely lonely and down the first few days of being St.Ill.
    I'd like to think we've all cheered him up a little, maybe made the lips curl, hopefully made him laugh out loud? He certainly has me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear, that should be St.IllMorrissey

      Delete
  2. oi ya bleeder, you've nicked my picture of Boz and Liam.. grrr!!!! anyway, not sure if Moz will go back on the wozzy show (not after his last snide comment) Moz has a long memory you know

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  3. Great to have a new parody, Rats, and I agree with your interpretation of SMW. Nice to see him tweeting so much lately even though I seem to miss him most of the time because of my busy schedule. I'm very thankful that the Hot Press interview has been posted online - a very enjoyable read.

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  4. Assuming @stillMozsworld is OM then I'm wondering why I've not been followed as all the other regulars have been.
    Maybe I am being oversensitive, I am acutely aware of this part of me . But I can't help but worry that I've done or said something to cause upset.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel rather embarrassed about leaving this comment now. It is not my business who others choose to follow.
      My reaction to this has hit a raw nerve & has highlighted some of my frailties around my fear of rejection & neediness. Currently surrounded by black clouds, this brought matters to a head & is why I decided to leave twitter.
      I am sorry for inflicting my insecurities towards Our Mozzer.

      Delete
  5. Very well observed Rat, you can see and hear it, especially if you have seen the 2004 interview.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

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