Total Pageviews

Friday, 5 September 2014

Day 1086 - Punctured water hose on a hillside desolate

Morrissey (@stillMozsworld) has informed me that he will be spending a week away from the internet; so the many interview questions posted on FTM by not only members of the BRS, but also by other Morrissey fans who have seemingly appeared from nowhere, will not be answered just yet. Morrissey has however given an excellent and informative interview to VeganLogic, in which he mentions having "suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for several years." I know how he feels!

Meanwhile, a backlash has arrived from MorrisseysWorlder's, Broken and Menippus, who are none too pleased that myself and others have walked away from MorrisseysWorld; although in fairness, MorrisseysWorld walked away from us! Here are the comments left by firstly Broken & then Mennipus:

Amazing. You're now interacting with a fool who lacks any of the wit, poetry and insight of OM. This is a pale imitation of an amusingly coy parody.

You have hit new depths.

I think I'll join OM. By the pool. For a very long time.

Well done rat - for putting numbers above BRS.

You are now following Morrisseysmum - FTM is as drab as that.

That is not even OM, much less M. Forgive them Moz - they know not what they do.
Posted by Broken to Following The Mozziah at 4 September 2014 20:45

Doesn't all of this whole-arsed enthusiasm for an unrefined, limited, unamusing and unoriginal account devalue the original, delicate parody? How could this new effort be appreciated by the same minds which understood the nuances of MorrisseysWorld?

Where is the subtle wordplay? The carefully engineered displays of underlying motivations and trends? The construction of an actual character?

If THIS is the fake Morrissey you want, why are you even interested in Morrissey at all?

Posted by Menippus to Following The Mozziah at 5 September 2014 11:08

Steve Cochran squatting.jpg

There are elements of truth in what both Broken & Menippus say, but OM (Our Mozzer) had long since gone, and Broken's numerous promises of new parodies never materialised, so it is hardly as though a choice had to be made. It should also be remembered that I previously chose OM over Morrissey (See here: Day 999 of FTM), which resulted in Morrissey severing our friendship and stopping his email correspondences with me. MorrisseysWorld meant that much to me. I have embraced St.Ill Morrissey because OM was no longer an option, and as my old mother has always said, 'If there is a Moz on offer, grab him.'

The ending of MorrisseysWorld seems to have pleased those who fell out with Broken. Willow, George Edge and Sarah Sorcha all took to twitter yesterday to say how they wish everything could now go back to how it was. Willow tweeted, "I'd genuinely like believers, non-believers, & half-believers like myself to just accept each other." It would appear that peace could be about to break out in The Twitterdilly Arms.

One person who doesn't seem to want to live and let live though, is RosyMires. Rosy was one of the original members of the Blue Rose Society, but she left in February 2012 when OM showed a lack of sympathy at the death of Whitney Houston and also likened Jonathan Ross & Russell Brand to the Moors Murderers.


Rosy took to twitter yesterday to mock those who have accepted St.Ill Morrissey's claims that he is the actual Morrissey. Here is her tweet: "Oh dear. People don't really think that's Moz do they? Lol Dafties." Rosy followed this up with: "I do have a weakness for laughing AT people sometimes."

Why oh why do the likes of Rosy, Roberto Bordenzi, MozFreek etc, continually feel the need to have a go at those of us who are quietly going about of own lives, interacting with Morrissey on twitter? It doesn't affect their lives, so why don't they just stay away? The answer of course, is because they are scared stiff that they may actually be wrong, and that they are missing out. And of course they are wrong, and they are missing out!

If truth be known, I feel a little sorry for all those who mock, because I actually know the truth, where as they are just desperately confused by it all. The reason I know that it's Morrissey, is not only because of all the very obvious signs throughout the past three years, but also because from January 29th to June 9th of this year, Morrissey and I actually exchanged a number of emails. In some of the emails, Morrissey sent me photographs from La Fabrique in France. I have hidden these photos subtly within various blog entries, although on Day 1066 I did make it very obvious that a certain photo was sent to me by Morrissey, but because very few people actually read my blog, no one outside of the BRS picked up on it.

In the name of fair play, I have decided to post the photo from Day 1066 again today, and what is more, I have decided to post the email that came with it. The email was sent to me by Morrissey on February 26th 2014:

Subject: Punctured water hose on a hillside desolate
From: ******** *********
To: *****
Date: 02/26/14
Time: 10:49:36

The man with a large smile took this photo last week.
It would have made a nice virtual postcard if his finger wasn't spoiling it.

Embedded image permalink

Not many words, and yet it says so much. "The man with a large smile" is allegedly Boz Boorer. Whilst I am in the mood, let me share another of my previously unpublished emails from Morrissey:

Subject: Merci Grumpy
From: ******** *********
To: *****
Date: 02/25/14
Time: 19:36:12

I went to a local flea market at the weekend.
An old grumpy man was sitting on his own, surrounded by vinyls.
As I browsed through the boxes, I asked 'Any Mauricet in here?'
He looked at me and said 'Qui?!'
But then he pointed at another box and looked away again.
I don't know what he was trying to show me but in that box, among strange 60's french 7", I found this. Françoise.
I gave him one euro and he did not thank me. I did.

Embedded image permalink

No more emails for now. Perhaps one day I shall reveal others. I am not expecting any of the non believers to contact me with an apology for all their mocking, because human behaviour being what it is, they won't be able to. Instead, I expect them all to come up with  yet another reason why this isn't Morrissey. I also expect them to continue watching the whole story, and I have no doubt that they will continue to mock. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised.... but I won't hold my breath.

In other news, English singer Anna Calvi has been named as Morrissey's new opening act for a number of the upcoming tour dates. I have to confess that I have never heard of Anna, and I am still very disappointed that Kristeen Young won't be on the tour, as The Knife Shift is still one of my favourite albums of all time. In fact, I posted a tweet the other day to this effect, and Kristeen replied:

RAT: I listened to the whole of The Knife Shift this morning as I walked the dog. Excuse my French but, fuck me it's a good album.

KY:That's my favourite French dialect.

I remain hopeful that one day Kristeen will return to the Moz tour, and that she will join Morrissey on stage to sing her vocals to Kick the Bride Down the Aisle.

*Goes off not laughing AT anybody.... but laughing none the less*


Well done to Jaz for spotting that a goat was mentioned in the VeganLogic interview. The Joyce Goat was of course a character from MorrisseysWorld. It should also be noted that on Sept 3rd, St.Ill Morrissey tweeted, " I must swoosh my coattails now and wish you a goodnight.  Perhaps there will be an interview soon? I do love a tease."..... and now two days later, an interview appears!


  1. Thats all very nice but Rat has your head gotten so big? Did the Joyce goat get to you? The only reason I ask is because a goat was mentioned in the interview and you said nothing about it Also the mention of the strokes made me smile a mile wide Since I'd been going on about them on twit could he have been listening? One can only hope
    It upsets me that both Broken And Menippus are warning us about a fake M, why would they bother? Maybe it's because deep down in their pessoa hearts they like us, I'm not sure.
    I ignore the part about M emailing you and you tell us you just KNOW (in bold) firstly because it makes me insanely jealous and secondly because we all just KNOW so no need for the flaunting no one likes a show off which was the greater part of your blog entry.

    1. Jaz, I have always resisted posting my emails from Moz, because I have never wanted to look like a gloater, but you are wrong to say, "we all just KNOW" because those who mock us obviously DON'T know. Hopefully this will help them see a little clearer, although as I wrote on the blog, I doubt it will.

      Well done for spotting the goat in the VeganLogic interview. It should also be noted that on Sept 3rd, St.Ill Morrissey tweeted, " I must swoosh my coattails now and wish you a goodnight. Perhaps there will be an interview soon? I do love a tease."..... and now two days later, an interview appears! In fact, I think I shall add this as a footnote to todays blog. The coincidence list is ever growing.

    2. Perhaps you are right in thinking that I assumed we all KNOW maybe I should have added "in our own way". Those that mock us I cannot speak for them I don't know their motives other than projecting their insecurities through means of humour. What are they so worried about? And what do they know? I'd hate for them to be misinformed.

  2. a good read cheese breath, walks off whistling "why do they hang around" must add, I thought Rosy was talking about blue knickers, but there are that many moz accounts I cant even be sure about that now

    1. No need to make excuses for Rosy, Manc lad, she was NOT referring to knickers, she was mocking the BRS/DDD.

      On your other point, I don't know of ANY other account on twitter claiming to be Morrissey other than @stillMozsworld, but please do let us know if there is.

  3. If Morrissey was in fact behind MW and OM, then perhaps he got tired of being a parody and would just like to be himself for now. I can't imagine how I would feel if people prefered a parody of me over the real me, although they probably would. But that is me and I am boring. Anyway, I hope you understand what I am getting at.

    1. I understand and agree with you.
      You are not boring !

    2. If you think 'stillMW' is Morrissey, you're as stupid as the so-lowers.

      Neither MW nor stillMW is Morrissey, but stillMW is so utterly, painfully stupid, it's a risible absurdity even to suggest it might be so.

  4. I enjoyed reading your blog today Ratty, very interesting content.
    It will be three years tomorrow since I joined Twitter, all because
    Moz had signed up to tweet incognito on the same day.
    Maybe this is why he is taking a break ! ?

    I do wish the likes of Rosy and Roberto et al would leave the
    rest of us alone to believe what we want to believe.
    I do not try to influence their thinking so why do they continue
    to seek to pour scorn on those who do not agree with them ?

  5. Kevin Stoba, if you are reading this, you owe me an amend. I turned up, as agreed, last Thursday at Runcorn station and did what you asked which was to wait for you outside Homebase. Your mobile number never worked and you never replied to any of my Twitter direct messages. I assumed something had happened. Did I get the wrong date? I find it utterly absurd that I now have to leave messages to you on this blog.

    1. Sorry, mate, I had to change my number: kept getting these disturbing anonymous late-night calls where all I could hear was what seemed to be the smashing of crockery and the affected, distant sounds of a man pretending to sob. Couldn't identify the fellow, or, indeed, the type of crockery.

      I suppose the smashing of the bowls (?) or mugs (?) somehow simultaneously resonated with both his bombastic appreciation of and his shattered detachment from his fragile cultural identity, whatever that is -- but it's hard to be sure of symbolism over the phone, and the sobbing really put me off trying to work it all out, if I'm honest.

      Anyway, is next Thursday okay for you? I think I've found the perfect Runcorn location re: Papa and Sons 2. For that scene where Stannis surveys the marble caryatids of the new Greek restaurant he's building, you know, with the cash they've conned from the Iron Bank of Braavos?


    2. (Menippus' traditional attached image of Jennifer Lawrence used in conversation with Marcus has on this occasion been REMOVED BY THE FBI and replaced with "((((<<<<>>>>))))". Carry on with your regular Moz delusions, folks, there's nothing to see here. Party's over. Go about your business. Bang a gong. Get it on.)

    3. If Marcus doesn't turn up to meet you next Thursday, I will instead.

      I also have always wanted to meet someone outside of Homebase in Runcorn, whose number I've never had/and whose number allegedly never works, and who is never on Twitter.

      You might just be the man.

    4. In other news, Partir quand même was my favourite Francoise song from anything even relatively recent that she's done, from when it was released in the late 80s until, well.. at least the next decade and a half afterwards.

      And since those 15 years passed, it has always remained my second favourite Francoise song out of everything she's ever released since 1988.

      Such a shame when all the bores come out of the woodwork.

      Try not to open any postcards they send you...

      Nothing but tricky business, a fast road to hell, and then lashings of regret on a bed of shaved ice.

      I'm feeling playful, what's the antidote? Or even better yet, what's the posion?

    5. ("SMW" take note: beloved MorrisseysWorlder Menippus has effortlessly inhabited a new character in the above post using a tiny fraction of the syllables wasted on the standard haiku. And this is just plain old everyday human Menippus we're talking about: a poet of Morrissey's aptitude could shift his elan in no syllables at all. No timewasters please.)

    6. A man who recognizes another man's elan. Where have you been Menippus, all of everyone's lives?

      Shifting ELAN... and in NO syllables at all, no less.

      Shifting elan. And redolent of swathes of everything right.

      I tip my hat to the boys here.

      Those currently present, and all those in absentia and currently lounging by pools.

    7. I've had business existing in that shadow of your heart unconcerned with rhythm and fluency, Astraea, sparking those ectopic beats and charging that bundle of His of yours for the thrills.

      None of us can survive for very long without fluidity, of course, but I consider myself a master of the feat of human endurance of often unconscionable extents.

    8. There is no shadow of my heart unconcerned with rhythm and fluency, let's call a spade a spade. Just.

      But if you tell me that you've had business existing in any shadow of my heart at all, that'll be my cue to check my dark corners more frequently from now on than, say, the infrequent, non-committal, and recalcitrant creature that I so lovingly know how to be.

      Sparking those ectopic beats and charging that bundle of His of mine for the thrills is the exact combination of words which carries me from the haven of my bed, and is also the combination to the lock behind the bicycle shed.

      Traffic light's on amber - look.
      But everything's always on amber, don't you know?

      Your fluidity is more fluid than most, but then you know how these things go...

      Flamingos are only pink because of the fish they eat.

      Saturday night tonight. I'm thinking of going out in high heels and an abacus, for a change. Or maybe for awhile.
      I like the way you say my name, say my name.
      Just don't call me Beyonce.

      Vol-au-vents, or the sheer urgency of life?

    9. Dear God, please help me. Is the above conversation written in English? All too much for a mangy rodent, but it is good to see you both still here.

      Astra, come back to The Arms, we need your music and pictures...... I'll be honest, there is no desperate need for Menippus to return, as I've never understood a word he's said!

      I have never been to either a Homebase or Runcorn, let alone the two in one. Such adventures are but a dream.

    10. Rat, it may surprise you, but -- unlike all of Morrissey's on-stage comments, half of his recent songs, and the tweets of almost every other Twitter account -- you are not my target audience.

      Astraea, ornithology: my canary won't sing. Has she been sucking lemons and stealing bananas, or is she just a coward?

    11. Menippus, no, it doesn't surprise me at all. It was only when we chatted about Grimsby's Ella Henderson, did I feel we had a common bond. Unfortunately, since Ella's make-over and stardom, I have lost interest in her, and would guess you have too.

      Astra, what is your Number 1 post 1988 song of Françoise's?

    12. Menippus,

      A coward with hands made of green glass will never be on the right side of the road. The wrong way will always only ever be the only way.

      A canary with plumage in her throat, and with songs only in her eyes. Can I hold her?

    13. Okay Kevin, fair enough. Sorry to hear about your prank caller and the confusion over the symbolism - that is particularly nasty. I had a prank caller once that used to deliberately mix his metaphors with me when on the phone. It was very frightening. I once tried to correct him and he screamed: "Does my symbolic synesthesia offend you?" I reported it to the police but they weren't interested. No doubt, too busy setting up false flags to prop up the crumbling establishment.

    14. When an Elton John song actually, really, genuinely, tastes like gasoline. Not metaphorical. It's real. Explanation here.

    15. For Astraea and Marcus,

      "Where is my voice and why does it not sing like yours?", moaned the canary, her beady black eyes shooting around the image of her companion in the mirror. The response came in song, as always -- mellifluous and melodic, but utterly incomprehensible to her, and, she suspected, to everyone else. "Perhaps I am trying too hard?", she ventured, puffing her chest in limp echo of the beauty of the rival before her. "But... if I don't think about what I sing -- before I sing it -- what can it possibly MEAN...?", our canary continued.

      The mirror's answer took on such a swirl of chaotic, accidental beauty -- of arrhythmic bursts of jarred chirrups and flitted notes -- that the canary lost the tangent of her thought entirely. "Must you mock me with this revelry every day?", posed our bird, "You can see -- you can HEAR -- that true, unfiltered release is outside the bounds of minds like mine, and yet you flaunt it, and you taunt me, and you haunt me too". Still the soulless mirror chirped.

      An unfamiliar hand clicked the latch and snatched her up, pinched her legs and feathers and wings together, and scooped her out. Once again, the bird in the mirror abandoned her. She stopped worrying about not being able to sing, and started worrying about not being able to fly.

    16. Runcorn's finest writer since Lewis Caroll.

    17. Your Runcorn research borders on the exhaustive, Marcus, but as long as it's still unearthing gems like the adjacent birth of Lewis Carroll I say keep it up. I'm moving to Lombardy in a couple of weeks, though, so that'll be nice for you -- new pastures and all that. Just giving you a fortnight's warning so you can engineer any as-yet-unused references before I go (I'm thinking Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud, "Purple Aki", and the revolutionary busway).

    18. For some reason the word 'revolutionary' and Lombardy conjured up Franca Rame - rather than Nicola Roberts. What an incredible woman - Franca Rame that is. I'm sure Nicola Roberts is incredible too in other ways that I'm not aware of. I did hear that Florence (of the Machine) often gets confused for Nicola Roberts and that she (Florence, not Nicola) found it amusing. I do have a confession about redheads. It's not the most original confession. It's more Runcorn than Como. It's in the truthful but dull section but not without a simplistic beauty (often confused for mawkishness) that I'm drawn to. Is it a textured Pre-Raphaelite pulse of gold? Or is it a tourist biscuit tin? When I interact with you Kevin, I find myself meandering between the two.

    19. Chaotic canary in the mirror, of accidental beauty who lost her thoughts. Twirling like a music-box ballerina. I can hear every song in my head, every bathtub, every tremble of a leaf. The bass, a rocking horse, and July, only a passing apparition in the void of anything we ever felt together before.

      Art-Hounds is mine, mine,… only mine, mine always. Don’t look at me, don’t touch me, don’t even breathe. I’ll break.

      Make like the wind, make believe, make haste. Then make me cry.

      Make love, make love, make love

  6. When SMW tweeted that there might be an interview soon, I hoped we would have a treat in store and we certainly did! A thoroughly enjoyable interview, and I had to chuckle at the goat mention because, like Jaz, I immediately thought of the Joyce goat. I especially appreciated Moz's comments about struggling to remain balanced, which resonated all too deeply with me.

  7. "am I moving too fast forrr yyyooooouuuuuu"

  8. Hope you do share more of those emails/photos Ratty! I really enjoyed the M interview aswell!

  9. sssshhhh, quick whilst Broken is not looking, will we be seeing the fetching golden nail polish at any stage of the tour

  10. From the angle of that photo of La Fabrique, whoever took it must have been last up the stairs and ended up in the maid’s room.

  11. “West Side Story” – was that a ping pong?

  12. Menippus is quite right, as ever. However, what he fails to understand is how few understood the nuances.

    How many genuinely 'got it' on its deepest level?

    The first instalment of 'bans and ejections' has been sent to rat. It is a reminder of what could have been.

    If there is a single mention of stillmorrisseysworld by this blog, no future parody will ever be posted.

    I am not joking.

    1. It took long enough to churn out the latest 'piece.' Given how many of these people appear to believe the poorly-written nonsense tweets by StillMW are by me, I don't know why I bothered at all.

      There is you, Broken, and there is Menippus. Everybody else seems happy enough with the troll account.


  13. If Wilde knew his followers would one day laud JK Rowling, would he have bothered writing at all?

  14. At the moment I am unsure as to which alias belongs to who. I follow because it's fun, it's a way for me to keep in touch with what is going on with Morrissey and with all the coincidences there is good reason to believe the real Moz is aware of the site. I did enjoy reading the part about going to the flea market, as I did much the same last week--I hit the resale shops. Part of my going resale shopping was to introduce my teen aged grandson to it, and he did seem to enjoy it as he got all excited over finding CD's by groups he likes for reduce prices. As for me, I found a Lou Reed DVD, for $4--unopened.


Mozziah Archive