Following the posting of the latest MW parody piece yesterday, Our Mozzer took to my blog entry of Friday, to leave the following comment:
It took long enough to churn out the latest 'piece.' Given how many of these people appear to believe the poorly-written nonsense tweets by StillMW are by me, I don't know why I bothered at all.
There is Broken, and there is Menippus. Everybody else seems happy enough with the troll account.
Posted by Morrissey to Following The Mozziah at 7 September 2014 21:50
He then swiftly added:
"If Wilde knew his followers would one day laud JK Rowling, would he have bothered writing at all?"
Following the publication of the parody piece yesterday, Our Mozzer has taken to the comments section again, leaving this:
A poor effort, old son. You didn't even bother matching the phone photograph to the mention of his phone in the parody.
The mention of StillMW by both Rat and Heather is frankly extraordinary.
This little experiment is over - killed by you.
Death is insatiable.
Posted by Morrissey to Following The Mozziah at 8 September 2014 06:22
Although everything is now dead, I feel obligated to give an account of the final hours of St Ill Morrissey's time on twitter, so here are the highlights:
"I was surprised to find myself here. I fell asleep and then the next thing I knew I was in Poland."
Incidentally, before I continue with the highlights, here are the viewing stats for my blog for last week. I have never before had any hits from Poland, but it can be nothing more than a coincidence that Morrissey happens to be there at the moment.
"Sordid streets stab at my seedy mind."
At this stage, Broken entered The Twitterdilly Arms, and ended up in another argument with St.Ill Morrissey. You couldn't make this up, but somebody did, so here is the conversation:
BROKEN: Is anything swagger than Biebs in orange shorts sagging with boxers?
ST ILL MOZ: I do believe I was swagger in 1991.
BROKEN: The next instalment of the parody will never be posted unless @stillmorrisseysworld (sic) is unfollowed/blocked/never mentioned again on FTM.
ST ILL MOZ: Do you have the mental age of 11? We're not fighting over the last sweet you know.
BROKEN: Any semi-intelliegent MWer would have blocked you long ago. You are a comatose barbie doll with a drinking problem. You were bad enough posting nonsense as Mum in 2011. It's worse now that a few idiots actually think you're MW.
ST ILL MOZ: I have no idea who was posting as my mother but let me assure you my real mother has wit as fantastic as Wilde.
BETTY DWYER (LEFT) - WIT AS FANTASTIC AS WILDE
BROKEN: Yet another DRAB tweet. Would M post a DRAB tweet?
ST ILL MOZ: I'm fed up of you. Go and dribble over Bieber somewhere else.
BROKEN: I think we're all fed up with you - half wit would be kind.
ST ILL MOZ: It would be the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. Enjoy your lifeless and useless parodies.
BROKEN: You lack wit, imagination, charm, sophistication... YOU are why MW is dead. Blocked.
ST ILL MOZ: Finally.
Whilst Broken and St.Ill Moz slugged it out for the entertainment of perhaps three or four people who understood what was going on, others watched in a state of confusion and bewilderment. The rather silly account '@blueknickers' didn't have a clue what was happening, and thought these two Morrissey pessoas were actually two different people having a proper argument! If only people had bothered following the whole story, then they would have a better understanding about Morrissey's pessoas, and would have perhaps have understood what was going on yesterday.
BlueKnickers even tweeted, ""Morrissey" in a twitter feud with someone called @Broken1andonly", to which Broken replied, "@blueknickers Can anyone spell irony?" The point was of course missed!
Broken was soon gone, but posted this before leaving:
"Madness is what happens when you are too intelligent to be sane in this world."
Back to St Ill Morrissey's highlights:
"This is my 1,000 tweet. I will have to make it memorable... Plimsolls. That is all. Plimsolls."
"I give, I give, I give. You take, you take, you take."
In response to @MadAlix14 posting a picture of Brandon Flowers: "He sung one of my favourite covers of one of my songs. Good old Flowers..."
"Graffiti illuminating my desires."
"Currently there is only one song on World Peace that I cannot envisage on stage." MadAliz14 replied, "Neal Cassady?", to which Moz responded, "Bingo. Where is my Mecca dauber? Can you imagine me on stage "rapping"? Perhaps we need Happy Martyr?'
In response to @OscillateWildy asking, "@stillmozsworld Have you and Mr Robert Smith ended this long feud yet?": "Who? There is no cure for this feud."
"I am Uranian"
At this point, myself and Moz had a very long chat in the toilets of The Twitterdilly Arms, and it was decided that the parody piece would be published, effectively meaning that St Ill Morrissey would leave twitter. He returned from those filthy toilets and declared:
"I am going to be ejected from my own club."
"There is a door marked exit and the body has twisted in its direction."
In response to GirlOnBike1102 saying that his comments were, "far too rock n roll to be Morrisseyesque": "It is a club that only serves milk and plays only Billy Fury."
In response to Clover Dean asking, "Which is your favourite song off you're (sic - bizarrely the other way around to the usual twitter mistake) new album? Which are you excited to sing?": "Istanbul. A new one to sing? Staircase."
"I hope you all enjoy pictures of dreary pop stars and parodies. This os all you are getting from here on in. Fare-fucking-well. BRS is dead."
"There is only one King. And he's an arse."
"Tonight I fade away. I do not burn out. Sometimes it is better that way."
St Ill Morrissey then changed his twitter name to Screwed Up Morrissey and posted these last insults to me before he left. I should explain that the insults were a follow-up to us calling each other all sorts of names in the privacy of the Twit Arms toilets, and it was all good natured fun:
"@TheRatsBack You give yourself a compliment there you fat-arses wanker. I will see you when I perform live you treacherous toad. I will perform for you. Then bite you in the eye. Is it your own hair or a wig?"
When I explained to a few people in The Arms that Moz was wanting me to make him leave, he replied, "I want you to do nothing of the sort. You want to have relationships with Broken." (This tweet made me laugh A LOT!)
"I hereby ban @TheRatsBack from life."
"The pathetic end."
"End. End. End. End. End."
And he was gone.
Unfortunately, with everything coming to an end, we also lost Astraea, but she signed off with some great music, which I will post in a final chart tomorrow, and Astraea also posted these words:
"Hearts on sleeves. And armbands made of imagination. It's all anyone would ever need. It's a full life."
*Goes off singing*
You are sleeping. You do not want to believe. You are sleeping.