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Friday, 26 September 2014

Day 1107 - Fraudulent Alf

AlfsButton has not been seen on twitter since Monday night. I was not online when he last appeared, but he left theses words for me, written on the walls of The Twitterdilly Arms:

"Where are you? Sleeping and looking after one's beloved children are in no way an excuse for neglecting twitter. Even if it is as boring as Richard and Judy lecturing on Tomatoes."

I recognised some of those words from that opening sentence, but I couldn't for the life of me remember where I had seen them before; but this morning, as I alleviated my boredom by trawling back through old FTM blog entries, I quite by chance stumbled upon them, on Day 24 of FTM.

On Day 24 of FTM, I reported how the MorrisseysWorld blog had first mentioned FollowingTheMozziah with these words:

"Our Mozzer would like to emphasise how utterly disillusioned we are with the site known as followingthemozziah.blogspot.com which promises to spend every hour God sends establishing who exactly does own this website/page, and yet has not posted a single journal entry for 48 hours. Sleeping and looking after one's beloved and children are frankly no excuse for failing to pay due attention to this website/page."



Now, regular readers of FTM will no doubt be expecting me to say that Alf Button's use of those words is further proof that AlfsButton is Morrissey..... but they would be WRONG. What a fool I have been. HOW have I allowed myself to be hoodwinked by this fraud? It is plainly obvious for anyone with half a brain to see that whoever is behind the twitter account AlfsButton, and prior to that StillMozsworld, IS AN IMPOSTER! It would appear that this person has just been picking up snippets, and pretending to be Morrissey, but now he has gone even further, and is trying to pass himself off as OUR MOZZER too! What a c***!

I am so embarrassed. How I dearly wish that I had listened to Broken, who incidentally, has posted a reminder only this morning of what fools we have all been. Here are his words of wisdom:

Rat you now have no hope ever of receiving any further parody articles from OM, nor do you have any prospect of any 'blue rose' related coincidences. Why? Because you continue to pass off the witless fraud as OM.

In some ways it's ironic that a piss-poor impersonator of a professional Morrissey impersonator has now stolen OM's thunder, but it's painful to witness.

How can people such as Heather, Rat and Jjaz seriously believe that literary mole is the same person as OM?

The tweets are woeful: a touch of clonking 'enigma'; all written in 12th grade style; no true irony; any wit simply borrowed from OM - and as derivative as it is familiar.

You have destroyed BRS. I've told you this; OM has told you this. Yet you continue to do it. Why?

This thing is now truly delusional as only one man - Menippus - can differentiate between the brilliance of MW and the mediocre farce that it has become in the hands of this latest Alf Button/StilMW/MorrisseysMum/Whateverhe'scallednow

Posted by Broken to Following The Mozziah at 26 September 2014 11:25


To think that I was even going to post a blog entry on the eve of the upcoming tour, stating that Morrissey would at some stage on this tour be singing Boxers, Tomorrow, Girl Least Likely To and Speedway, all on the back of AlfsButton telling me such in those filthy toilets of The Twitterdilly Arms. Thank God that I have come to my senses before posting such an entry!



I feel that I should go back and delete EVERY SINGLE blog entry where St Ill Morrissey and AlfsButton are mentioned, but perhaps I should leave them as a reminder of my stupidity. It's a toughie.

Why has this had to happen on the eve of FTM's third birthday? The only thing to cheer me today has been reading those early blog entries of mine, which have reminded me what an incredible journey this has been. Although it was a full three years ago, I can still clearly remember that initial excitement of discovering MorrisseysWorld as though it were yesterday, and to be quite honest, we are in EXACTLY the same place as we were on that day in September 2011 when I first wrote about it.

As my granddad's Mynah bird used to say, "It's a funny old world, whatever next?"

206 comments:

  1. It's too late now. MW will never reappear. BRS is dead. It's over.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for causing the car to swerve at the last minute, Broken old friend. You preserved the life of a tedious rodent, who might, now he's finally realised the error of his ways, live to spend another day swimming gladly in one's online sewage, in the underground pipe of one's imagination.

      That Rat almost got his torso crushed by your Michelins.

      OM

      Delete
    2. To swim in your sewage, is such a heavenly way to swim.
      There is a rodent blogger and he never goes out.

      Delete
  2. My already terrible day just became infinitely worse.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Is this some kind of joke or trick? I don't buy it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Do we have to move onto a new blog piece already? I had something cooking with Broken on the last entry...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Is this really the end of the journey?I am still confused....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Are you a 100% shure?why would anyone make an account and pretents to be Moz.i am still in denial.it must have been him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was never him. None of these people were. Broken and OM are not morrissey. Hey may have played along with the roses, but it's all a game with Rat trying to gain attention. Open your eyes.

      Delete
    2. I was going to delete your silly comment Shea, but instead I will educate you instead. For a start, unless you are Morrissey himself, which I'm guessing you're not, then you CANNOT say "it was never him". They are not your words to say. You could state, "I personally don't believe it was him", but NOT that it wasn't. These are two very different things. Some people might say that Fifi wasn't Morrissey, although you Willow, sorry, Shea, believe that it was, so it would be wrong for people to say that Fifi WASN'T Morrissey, but they could say that they don't BELIEVE it was him, which is their right.

      The whole phenomenal MorrisseysWorld story should have taught us all that you should NEVER state that you KNOW something unless you actually do KNOW FOR A FACT. Belief and fact are NOT the same.

      We should also have learnt that NONE of us KNOW what Morrissey would or wouldn't do. Many many people said that Morrissey would NEVER wear a blue rose......

      Delete
    3. That comment wasn't written by me, & you know it. Waiting for an apology.

      Delete
    4. I don't KNOW it at all, as I didn't actually witness the author typing it. As Shea was the one demanding the other day that I apologise to Fifi, I made a presumption that Shea was you. I can't think who else it could possibly be among my 12 readers, but if one of them comes forward to confess to being Shea, then I will gladly issue an apology.

      Delete
  7. It is time.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_a-eXIoyYA

    ReplyDelete
  8. I thank my lucky stars to have been part of the MW journey.
    Those early days can not be beaten.

    I hope you will keep the blog open Rats in memory of the mind blowing experience we all shared.

    ReplyDelete
  9. oh well, OM or broken once said "all things must come to an end" and here we are (I think) unhappy third birthday

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is such terrible news to receive first thing in the morning, I did express concern with a someone in the chatroom that I wasn't as twitterably interesting to Alfs and vice versa, So am I at all surprised by this revelation? Not really. Am I dismayed that this might be the end? Oh will all my heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's nice, isn't he - in a good way, though. And optimistic, too.

      Delete
  11. I think what Broken wanted to say was something like this...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjgE4kNSU74

    ReplyDelete
  12. Our Mozzer said, while nibbling on Moroccan honey-and-cumin-glazed almonds, "I notice that Broken s**ding c*** is at it again, distressing my online followers with the truth, old son..."

    Our Mozzer then swigged some gin and tonic and let out an almost imperceptible belch, which rendered his voice clearer, more precise.

    "...At least that dreadful blogger bod has finally cottoned on to the fact one's latest imposter is a boring b*******d..."

    "Rat?" I asked.

    "...That's the c***. If he issues a full apology and a retraction of his previous comments giving the oxygen of publicity to my dreary copyist, I might consider sending Old Broken Record part 2 of the parody by email... that ought to put the punk amongst the mods..."

    "You're resurrecting MorrisseysWorld?" I asked.

    "...Of course not... just prolonging its death. Assuming they manage 100 comments on the 'fraud' post and commit to leaving part 2 of the parody up for a minimum of one week, a certain iconic star might just ejaculate his wit once again, all over the most undeserving site on the world weary web."

    Signed,

    'R'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Our Mozzer, I fully apologise and retract. I don't know what came over me.

      I hope that the few who are left can now conjure up 100 comments between them.

      Yours
      Rat

      Delete
    2. There is no way Alf's Button wrote this...

      Delete
    3. I always thought Alf was using his second language on twitter, or possibly his third. But then I once thought the same of you Marcus - yet TECHNICALLY, at least, you are a published playwright in English.

      Extraordinary.

      I like to think I was the star of part 1, but now OM is in the building, I will, of course, fade into the background.

      Incidentally, those of you who couldn't tell Alf Button wasn't OM should be banned in my opinion. Are you with me, Rat?

      Delete
    4. Ha. Very good. Laughing. But on a more serious literary note, Joseph Conrad created a literary masterpiece - which certainly wasn't beaten even by last year's book charts - using English, his third language after Polish and French.

      Delete
    5. Broken, only a fool would disagree with you (and there have been a few around here over the years), so YES, I agree.

      Rat

      Delete
    6. Hang on:" honey-and-cumin-glazed almonds". What happened to the veganism?

      Delete
  13. I must leave to play tennis but 2 quick things. The Cars had a perfect title for all that's going on "All Mixed Up". That's how I feel. Also, Morrissey wrote 2 lines I think are interesting "It takes guts to be gentle and kind" and "I want to start from before the beginning". Have a lovely weekend all.

    ReplyDelete
  14. We've been here before with a comment challenge...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wasnt sooo bad I mean we did accomplish it

      Delete
  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Could do with clarification on how long we've got (I think a reasonable amount of time is midnight tomorrow).
      Then 100 comments, surely not individual comments, there isn't enough of us. So I take it was can comment as many times as we like?
      Also we can include the comments from Broken & OM? Would only seem fair.

      Delete
    2. I reckon 100 in total should do it, but if the new parody piece has to be left up for 7 days, we need it up and gone by Sunday Oct 5th, so that the tour blogging can start. We therefore need the new parody to be posted no later than this Sunday, so get posting comments!

      Delete
  16. The witching hour? Did it begin on your arrival, Lizzy?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ha ha, now that's the Broken we know, don't think Lizzy will take it the wrong way

      Delete
    2. F*** off Manclad, you are banned from FTM.

      Delete
  17. Dear Rat’s Back,

    The challenge listed upon your weblog by the iconic popular music celebrity and raconteur known as ‘Morrissey’ has not escaped my notice or my sense of irony.

    I have not received a single apology for the deletion of my previous comments upon your weblog, especially those left for the attention of Mr Victor M. Blanco – a gentleman, a kindred spirit and a fine example of the best that this age has to offer.

    It is well known among some of your readership that I have had indiscretions of the flesh with Mr Blanco’s dreary personal assistant – the recanting of which have been delivered here exclusively in a most tedious and exhaustive manner.

    But now it seems you have a new found humility, desiring as many comments as possible upon this weblog within a short period of time. How the tables have turned.

    It seems, for now, that this comment remains! Does it not Sir?

    Yours Sincerely,

    Anon E Mouse

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Menippus, few know your contribution to part 1, and your contribution to part 2 will be greater still.

      Delete
    2. I'm purring here... like the Queen. For I am not he! Oh, Broken... I've got one over on you. How delightfully hilarious!

      Delete
    3. Caro Signore Sorcio,

      may I first express my humble gratefulness concerning your most charming description of my person. Alas, you must have been in a hurry, because you forgot to mention my incredible sense of style, which grants me my (may I say) impressive income, furthermore my overwhelming aura of success, and (I inserted an Oxford comma here, to underline my grandiose education) my undoubtedly prosperous future. But I'm not one to boast, so I'll desist from specifying more of my already obvious formidable traits. Let me move on to the next, slightly embarrassing subject:

      It was brought to my attention lately that you, dear Mr. Mouse, are not the only poor and pitiable victim of that naturally dreadful woman who was formerly simply known as "Mr. Blanco's secretary". Yes, I wrote "was". It hurts me to inform you that said indiscretion of the flesh also happened with at least two of my rather affluent customers, one of which even owns one of Europe's most triumphant bread shop chains. She's always been a whore for self-made men, but what do you expect from a naturally disadvantaged human being. I'm not prejudiced, heaven forbid, but a woman is a woman. You understand. Anyway, considering my reputation, I saw no other way, and with a heavy heart - I'm not a quadruped barbarian, you know - I saw myself forced to discharge her from her duties and thus pushed her back into the hoi polloi where she belongs. I'll spare you the details of that rather ugly scene, which included flying furniture and imploding computer screens. She may think she had her revenge, but I unaffectedly bear the electric shocks I recently get from the maliciously sabotaged coffee machine, which I am now forced to operate myself (I'm a man of action, you see, and I haven't forgotten where I'm coming from).

      I dearly hope that the uncoverings of her shameful behaviour won't spoil your day, but - since you are a fellow gentleman - I feel obliged to make you aware of her true nature. Thank you for your attention and understanding.

      Fondest regards,

      Víctor M. Blanco

      Delete
    4. Dear Anon E Mouse, I certainly won't be apologising for deleting all of your previous drivel, and as for you getting one over on Broken, I will refer you to the Number 7 in this week's Twitterdilly Arms chart. If you continue to try and out smart Broken, then be warned, you will lose, just as Marcus, Lizzy, GOB, Chuck et al have lost in the past. Mind you, I don't know why I'm standing up for him, as he is a right c***!

      Goodbye Anon, you dreary fucker.

      Rat

      Delete
    5. P.S. I'm currently busy in the fascinating realms of Australia, where I'm - obviously - desperately needed. You can easily make a red neck look like a cavalier, and I'm not one to rule from my bias, but it takes a true talent to transform an Aussie into a fashion icon. There's plenty of work to do here, so please excuse me if I don't respond right away.

      Delete
    6. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    7. Dear Victor, your posting bored me within the first six words. Please take your dreary story elsewhere.

      Delete
    8. It would appear that Chuck posted as herself (307 someday) instead of as Victor by mistake. Schoolgirl error, you dreary fucker. Don't return here.

      Delete
  18. The author of this weblog (and many others) know my identity. In fact, everyone knows except this curious fellow known as 'Broken'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doubt Broken has ANY interest in your identity.

      Delete
    2. No bad thing. Having to converse with one sociopath that knows your identity can be fun. Having to converse with two sociopath's that know your identity can be irksome.

      Dear Mr Blanco, thank you for updating me! I am not surprised at all. I could see this coming! I have sent you a small gift today, I hope you like it!

      AEM

      Delete
    3. Oh the irony. Frightening in fact. CEASE AND DESIST from posting the drivel about Blanco. The only person who was remotely interested was Chuck.

      Delete
  19. Mark it, nuncle...
    Have more than thou showest,
    Speak less than thou knowest,
    Lend less than thou owest,
    Ride more than thou goest,
    Learn more than thou trowest,
    Set less than thou throwest...

    ReplyDelete
  20. I have personally witnessed more sanity in a mental institution for the incurably and illustriously insane than I have seen during my time here. I have watched and listened to babbling and drooling fools restrained in straightjackets make more sense than is contained within this place. I have viewed harrowing hallucinating maniacs screaming and clawing at their own skin who still maintained a better grasp of reality than is evident within this community. This place is f****d up. I would run from the madness here with the half ounce of saneness and reason that remains in my brain, (if I am lucky,) but unfortunately, I am now incurably addicted to this abcess of humanity. That and I have no legs with which to run with.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I would like to say a shout out to Lucy and her evil laugh. (4)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh Fucking hell, OM's request for 100 comments has brought the fruit loops and the dreary back here. Despite my desire to see the return of MW, it's not at ANY cost, so can 'Person' and Anon E Mouse please fuck off.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's OK Rat - we'll ignore any comments by Person as that 'Person' isn't relevant in any way. In other words, if 'person' makes 50 comments, we need 150 comments.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Replies
    1. Deep down, Rosy Mires KNOWS, otherwise she would have stopped reading this blog 2 years ago. Shame about her mate Still.I.Cling who has now fallen completely away on Rosy's advice. She sold her down the river. I like it.

      Delete
    2. So nice to know your apology was heartfelt.
      And if you'd taken my advice you wouldn't have gotten yourself into another fine mess with Our Mozzer. Just as well he is so forgiving of your foolish ways.
      See you at the O2. I'll creep up behind you when you least expect it !
      Ta'ra.
      I'll see meself out.

      Delete
    3. The last person to take your advice was poor Still.I.Cling, and where did that get her, eh? And WHY would you be interested in what Our Mozzer does? Oh yes, because deep down you KNOW. You'd love to have walked away, wouldn't you?

      Delete
    4. How many times did he tell you the flurry of imposters wasn't him? Three? Four times? And you just wouldn't believe him would you. LOL!
      I'm sorry I should walk away.. but it's too funny! LOL! *tears*

      Delete
    5. Suddenly YOU have become an expert on the working mind of OM. You couldn't make this up.

      Delete
  25. Thanks Our Mozzer for giving us yet another chance. I'm thrilled to see that you're still around and really hope to see Part 2 of the parody.

    ReplyDelete
  26. What a nice surprise to find so many comments on FTM today. It appears to be related to Alfsbutton, another possible twitter account for OM. When I read 'Alf' I think of the furry, alien puppet from a TV show by that name and although it was out at about same time as the Smiths, I do not think it's connected. Now, 'Alfs Button' is the title of an older film I saw a few months ago. In the film, Alf's button on his clothing, acts the same as a magic lamp when you rub it. Nice trick if one was lucky enough to own such a button, but I would not put the movie up their with 'Twin Peaks'. So I am at a loss as to there being a significance with the name. As r/t Marcus's film, I viewed it on Netflix and really enjoyed it. Thank you Ratty for keeping the blog going and I look forward to the coming tour. Now, as a few have done, I will leave you with a quote. I stumbled upon it in one of my son's notebooks. I might add, he is an artist(sculpture), and suffers from depression. The quote: 'You will never fail, if you never try' With that to ponder, I'll sign off. Have a great weekend BRS.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Who cares on my opinion anyway?

    Comment left as reqd

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kirky, you have sat on the fence all the way through this journey, but deep in your heart you know the truth, otherwise you'd have left years ago. After all, what sort of idiot would waste their time on a faker? Keep that fence warm Kirky, all homes need a fence, they help maintain security.

      Delete
    2. I keep mine hidden

      You asked for a comment

      Delete
    3. Hi Sk
      Hi Rat

      this is all very cute, I must say (the whole SOAP OPERA aspect of this)
      wow
      am I still a *FLIRT* ???
      I am confused
      rehrads

      George Edge

      Delete
    4. Edge, it is a shame that you haven't written anything about the journey. You were once REALLY interested in the MW story, but unfortunately the moment you joined twitter, you became more interested in yourself.

      Delete
  28. Today is the THIRD anniversary of me starting FTM. I am unable to write a blog entry today as this current entry needs to stay as the home page until it gets 100 comments, but please feel free to wish me an Unhappy third birthday, and share any memories of the past three years if you like.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Alf is back! What a surprise on this saturday morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you purposely trying to sabotage the return of MW? Please cease and desist from mentioning this Alf character.

      Delete
  30. Several Hours ago I left to play tennis. Remarkably, now back home. Nothing's changed. Morrissey wrote in "I Know its Over" .... "It takes guts to be gentle and kind." It's so easy to be mean and ignorant online, Internet arguments and hate are a waste of time. I love Moz and will always for many reasons. Regardless of how anyone feels, could there be a small modicum of respect to one another. I thought we were all here because we loved Morrissey.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I love the ftm blog.it did help me find my way in twitter world.without rat i would not have a clue where to go and who to follow.
    my experiment with white roses and blue ink did not work.gonna order them before i go to the concert.can i still bring a blue rose to the concert?

    ReplyDelete
  32. It does feel like encountering MorrisseysWorld for the first time like I did 3 years ago. The intrigue is addictive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is BEYOND incredible that so very few have been able to see what has happened over the past three years. BEYOND incredible. If you re-read my very first few FTM entries, you will see that I genuinely believed that the media would discover the truth about MW within days; and yet here we still are.

      Delete
  33. Strange days indeed but, no matter what, it is extraordinary to think it has been three years since FTM started. I have to say that without this blog it wouldn't have been anything like as interesting, fascinating, informative, irritating and even uncomfortable at times.

    The return of MW would be wonderful of course. Regards from Italy on a dodgy internet connection.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thank you for your kind comments and completely agree with them.

      Can you imagine if OM were to start a new blogsite and have Morrissey deny any involvement on TTY?

      Delete
    2. god I hate jet setters like you JG, always flying about the place, what about the atmosphere, the atmosphere, I love a party with..

      Delete
    3. You do your bit Manc, Air Miles r Us. Will we see you in London at the end of November? I live in hope that I was able to lure Rat out of his lair and I might still do the same for you

      Delete
  34. Dear Ratty, OM, & Broken were here, ain't going nowhere... Happy Anniversary FTM. I see a lot of Solow's in here. I have read the link that has been shared with me on that site, saying negative things again, what's new? All I can say is bring back MW the BRS will not die!
    Oh btw had a lovely little chat with Mr. Tobias today who's in LA. Wish him & the boys a safe trip & stay safe. Let's continue the what brings us all here... Leave the negative BS out. Morrissey's touring in a few lets see what this tour will bring us. See you in Roma.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. are you saying you and whiskers are off to rome,, hhmmmm!!!

      Delete
    2. I am not going to Rome. More lies from Manclad, who I have been told, has dropped to Chuck's level, by joining the Solowers in their desperate obsession to reveal my name. Any further comment posted here by Manclad will be deleted.

      Delete
  35. This incredible journey mustn't end here, and I'm of course willing to to my bit. I'm quite the busy fruit and find it difficult to keep up, so I was also fooled by 'a certain fraudster'. Needless to say that I promptly unfollowed them.

    Generally speaking, it is astonishing how many people were blinded by the TTY denials, but then again, I was one of them, before I managed to lOOk beyond. The signs are obvious, aren't they?

    I saved the best for last: With pride, I announce that Morrissey will see (at least) one Blue Rose in Paris. I don't expect him to accept it, but that is not the point - what counts is that we now have a perfect chance to demonstrate him our appreciation. Morrissey's poetry is beautiful and rare, and so are our roses.

    I shall leave with these stolen words: 'You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.'

    ReplyDelete
  36. Happy anniversary rats.I think initially what stood out most about MW was how at home & comfortable I felt . This is a rare experience for me & quite a revelation. Our Mozzer & Broken created something unique & beautiful, we have been blessed to be part of it.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I wonder what day the 2nd instalment of the parody piece will be posted on, if it is again posted in the comments section?
    Maybe day 13?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Anyway after being awarded "tweet of the day" yesterday by Ratster, my mission today is to be comment No.100.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Great blog and great fun. Always loved rat, broken, heather and lizzy! This is a class internet phenomenon and let's keep it going!!!!!!

    Jon

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  40. Rat, congratulations on your anniversaire de 3 ans! If it wasn't for this blog I would've gone about my own business and wallowed in ignorance. I've been following your blog like I've been bitten by a fox with toxoplasmosis. Twitter was the last place I would look. Now, I HAVE to see, smell and bite into tweets and info that comes in through the ether. (much to the resentment of my several members of the household...) Keep the insanity going,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is great to know that there are Morrissey fans out there who, although they dismissed or missed the launch of MorrisseysWorld in 2011, have had the intelligence to read ALL the way through my blog and see what has occurred here. Too many people are STILL trying to form an opinion WITHOUT reading through ALL the events of the past three years. It is like attending a court hearing and only listening to SOME or NONE of the evidence... a little like Judge Weak did. God only knows what that three foot half wit would make of MorriseysWorld. He would probably think it was truculent, devious and..... hang on a minute, that's EXACTLY what some people HAVE concluded! It's a funny old world.

      Delete
  41. My thanks to Heather, EARS and JG, who have all been nothing but friends during these past three years. My thanks also to Moz Fiend, Inge 1980, Jaz, Harrison Strange, Clover Dean, Orange Mécanique and Hoarsley Cry who have all picked up on the story, and have so far been nothing but pleasant towards me. My acknowledgements to Jon the Con, who has always been around, without giving much away. My acknowledgements also to Marcus, Rosy Mires, Willow, Shea, Lizzy, Kerry and Kirky who haven't always been supportive, but none the less have taken the time to place a comment on this post, which means they are still interested in MorrisseysWorld. My pity to Chuck and Manclad. There are others who are still no doubt reading this blog and following events, but as they haven't taken the time to place a comment, I won't mention them, although it would be unfair of me not to mention the BRS President, Kyle and the VP Vulgar Angie.

    A special thank you to OM, Broken and Astraea; without them, this blog would have been nothing.... literally.

    It has been a wonderful three years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I forgot to mention comrade harps, who deserves thanks, although he could have left a comment!

      Delete
    2. 3 years and still we barely understand. Maddening, isn't it?

      Delete
    3. You shouldn't imagine that the blog isn't popular; it is. There are countless others who read but don't write, including the unwelcome, and the positively leprous (GOB).

      OM's frustration set in when you began following a fake OM, rather than the fake Morrissey that is OM, which, ironically, he was terribly upset about and wept on several occasions while dining on fresh falafel. You didn't even take his clearly expressed concerns on board; I do hope this isn't repeated.

      Special mention must go to Rat for creating this blog and running it so avidly, to Heather for being utterly loyal and fair, to EARS for being the moral conscience of MW - and at times pricking my own conscience with her transcendent humanity - to Jjaz and Astrea for being 'the star dust' in the community, and to President Kyle, VP Ang and, of course, Manclad for changing his mind almost as often as he gets on to, and then falls off, the wagon.

      BRS lives again.

      Today I received a brief text message from OM. It states simply:

      "I accidentally hit the one key with my finger - s***ing keys on this phone are still too small; I actually meant to stipulate two hundred comments, rather than one hundred. Do inform the bods on that blog, old friend. BW, OM. "

      Delete
    4. A "text" message. Morrissey would NEVER send a text message. Is OM still in character? Two hundred comments? Oh, bugger!

      Delete
    5. Ps I love how you keep referring to the 'would be Morrissey' as "fake OM"; it makes me smile every time you write it, and yet your subtle words are no doubt missed by most. You are SUCH a loveable c***, which is completely different to being a common or garden c***, which is how the likes of GOB see you. In many ways, you Broken, have been the star of MW, or if not the star, at least a moon beam.

      Delete
    6. The thanks that I issued to Clover Dean at 12:20 now need to be retracted, as she has today posted a malicious piece about me on her blog. People ALWAYS let you down.

      Delete
    7. Thank you for the kind words towards me Ratty. I have been fond of you and (almost) always been kind to you, as you are to me. I don't see anything changing that in the future.

      Delete
  42. And, as we say in Australia: "more farewells than Dame Nellie Melba"

    ReplyDelete
  43. Here is another comment from me.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Happy third anniversary Ratty. I picked up this story through your blog in the spring of 2012 as far as I can remember and I have been reading and following ever since, even if I did spend a lot of time lurking and not really participating. I did bring blue roses to shows and pass on the BRS ring, as you know. As much as I love and cherish MW, I came here recently because I wanted to communicate with Morrissey, not a parody, but a human being. But with that said, I am happy for whatever comes next, as long as something does.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You used your intelligence to read EVERYTHING and then make up your own mind. As for the real Morrissey being on twitter, don't be silly, he would NEVER.

      Delete
    2. Again, many thanks my furry friend.

      Delete
  45. Psst! What is the reference to ‘Richard and Judy lecturing on Tomatoes’ and why the capital T, or was that a tpyo?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, you ARE here! About time.

      Delete
    2. Ps The capital T is how it was written, so I guess that it WAS a typo, but who am I to correct the errors of somebody pretending to be Moz? I am still kicking myself for being fooled by the fraudster; having said that, wouldn't it be a coincidence if Boxers and Tomorrow were to make it onto the set list.

      Delete
  46. I was sucked in I thought @morrisseyparody and @stillMozsworld was Morrissey :-( bunner lol x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whether they were Morrissey or not is irrelevant, the fact is they WEREN'T OM, or at least St Ill thingy wasn't, and THAT is the issue here. I know it's complicated, but please DO try and keep up.

      Delete
  47. Many thanks for the kind mentions. I'm currently very ill and barely able to form complete sentences, or else I would've posted more comments. Very glad to see the number of comments is already over 100. Happy anniversary, Ratty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately the goalposts were moved and the target is now 200. Put aside your illnesses and get commenting. The BRS needs You.

      Delete
    2. Oops! Sorry I missed that...

      Delete
  48. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  49. I forgot to mention, confusing as hell lately but it cpmes with the territory. OM must tire himself out sometimes shifting all those goalposts.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Often late to the party - but always on my game.

    What can I add? I could perhaps add that I in turn, adore everyone and nobody at all, all in equal measure, and seven times as much as each other. The former because I have to, the latter because I must, and both because of nature - not nurture. My gift and my curse, my song and my verse. My burden and light.

    Insomnia was my only lover last night, but I come and bring with me two lessons to share. The first is this. Strangely apropos of this blog entry, but in fact my comment on the wider kitchen sink that we find ourselves in.

    Always denounce fake Art. Wherever you see it, whenever you recognise it. Fling it back from whence it came. Fling it hard, and fling it without hesitation.

    You have to be MERCILESS. Life will demand it from you. Art will demand it from you. And I demand it.

    The second is this.

    People like myself are very adept at drawing invisible lines.
    Some invisible lines however, were always meant to be crossed.

    Ah, but which ones, you wonder. And which ones are we only meant to read in between?

    Not everyone knows how to read in between the lines, and while I won’t do a roll call right now, I would recommend to those people who don’t know how to read in between my lines, perhaps reading a bit less, and snoozing even more. Some people will always need more sleep than others.

    Words are a dangerous business. This business is a dangerous game. But games of any kind bring smiles, and this was always going to be the best game of all.

    So on this third birthday of the blog it is also fitting that I should also say thank you to Rat for his kind words to me, both publicly and privately. I am more touched than I know how to say. Rat is also deserving of a resounding thank you from all for the task he has undertaken in keeping this blog, which I think is appreciated with a far deeper fondness by those who matter than he even realises. It might be less than 12 though, so again, please let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

    My biggest thank you I extend to Broken, for taking one look at me and clenching me to his jagged bosom. Jags and crags upon which I rested my head, because jags and crags are the only pillow I have ever known.

    But she would die if we heard her sing from the heart
    Which is hurt…

    I was never going to be here forever. But MW will be. And on the day that I bow out, I want it only to be known that when I am gone, the largest piece of my heart will forever be left behind here, and will never leave.

    Sing it. Live it. SWAG IT. And never forget JB.

    Astra

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beautiful words as ever, and how sad to see you leave this wonderful journey. It is funny that there are some who are really thankful to you for introducing Fifi into their lives, whilst others are thankful to you for introducing St Ill and Alf into the frame. People tend to forget who introduced ALL of these people. You have also been so VERY close to Broken.

      You WILL be greatly missed by so many.

      Sing it LOUD. Live it LONG. SWAG IT HARD. And remember that JB cannot hold a candle to you.

      Rat

      Delete
    2. Hold your cunting horses for a single fucking minute Rat, would you? When I said on THE day, I didn't mean quite today. Also, I'm not sure that I agree with too much of the above.

      Apart from possibly the part about JB, the candle, and me.

      But he can definitely try and hold that candle to me. He can most definitely still try.

      You never know. After all, I'm sure he's not half bad with his hands.

      Delete
    3. Glad to hear you're not going to leave us just yet, Astraea. Your beloved presence is irreplaceable. Thanks for being here.

      Delete
  51. Humble thanks for the kind words about me.
    Astra as ever your words are so elegant , moving & full of heart.

    ReplyDelete
  52. With every End There is a new beginning. There is a Rose that never goes out.......

    ReplyDelete
  53. OM: " 130 comments? Those soapy b*****ds aren't as bored with the old blog magic as we all thought. Perhaps there is still time for a certain iconic star to become the middle aged middle class and middle brow Justin Bieber, after all."

    R: "We need a gimmick to promote part 2 of the bans and ejections committee... something very... visible"

    OM: *spluttering on his stuffed olives* "Part 2? There is no b******d part 2, old son. Do you think we could push it up to three hundred comments? Could we get away with that?"

    R: "You might upset your most committed bloggists..."

    OM: "Serves them right - they might gain just a chard of insight into how I feel.... c***s."

    R: "Well if you lose the FTM community, they'll be straight back into the hands of so-low"

    OM: "The old Tories/UKIP dilemma. Damage limitation - call Broken and Russell; have them write something mesmerizingly witty and playful for me to sign off on... plenty of nonsense from that Menippus bod... and make sure the tour cat makes an appearance-"

    R: "-The cat we can do. Russell is unavailable, Morr-ee-say..."

    OM: *eyes closing slightly*

    R:"....of course I could assist Broken..."

    OM: "Very kind of you to offer, old son. I'm off to an emergency meeting of the MorrisseyBand this evening. Jesse beat me at Monopoly last week, and the c*** is for it tonight; I'll be in Mayfair with a hotel by 10 pm... don't forget to fax me a copy of the final article for approval. And don't send it later than midnight. That b*****d fax makes a sound like a Boeing 747 when it receives... I should sue the c***s for compo... Actually, old friend - buy me a new one. A silent fax machine. Can't risk ending up run down and terribly sick with double pneumonia again... or that awful and almost lethal necrotising septic flu, or black death, or whatever it was..."

    R: "We'll send you the final article as soon as-"

    OM: "-Boz...! Boz...!"

    B: "Sire...?"

    OM: "Order me an aubergine bhuna old friend. There's a good fellow."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear OM, to put things in context, we had a good old clear up in the office last week and the final job was to unplug the old fax machine. It looked like a machine that could print passports and hadn't been active since the last incoming fax, circa 2012.

      So, the message is don't rely on faxes, especially from people that may already be in the "might let you down" camp

      Over and out, roger wilco.

      Delete
  54. B: "But I have no money, sir..."

    OM: "That's OK, old son. You can pay me back later."

    B: "Very kind sir. You're all heart. A true gent..."

    R: *smiles thinly*

    ReplyDelete
  55. Illusion or reality? Sanity or insanity? The Edges Are No Longer Parallel

    ReplyDelete
  56. New to this whole thing so I've no clue of the all the characters but I do await with eagerness a parody piece.

    Also aubergine bhuna is quite divine.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Dear Ratskins, to be included in such illustrious company as Heather (whom I have not met) and EARS (with whom I shared the pleasures of Covent Garden) and to be classed as friends is humbling.

    It doesn't mean that you aren't a pain in the arse, but at least you're OUR pain in the arse.



    ReplyDelete
  58. By the way, strangely, it is friggin' hot in Italy. I look forward to the cool atmosphere of the O2

    ReplyDelete
  59. Furthermore, as my dodgy internet connection is hanging in there, let me tell you what I have between now and the end of the year:

    Chris Rea
    Inspiral Carpets
    Morrissey
    Culture Club
    The Who

    And already booked Paul Simon and Sting for 2015.

    ReplyDelete
  60. "Hold your cunting horses for a single fucking minute, Rat".

    Possibly the finest single sentence of the last three years.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Are you still rambling here JG, go to bed you fool.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Awwww....now I'm to believe you need 200 comments? Yesterday it was only 100. What is this? Some sort of numbers game? Well, here is my comment. Also, I will wish you, 'Happy 3rd Anniversary!' Seems I'd done that before, commenting then that #3 anniversary was leather. Hope you have/had a good one. And, I want to add a 'Get Well Soon! Wish to Heathercat, who, although she was lying on her sick bed, mustered enough strength to add a comment. The BRS should have more like her. Hope she is feeling well soon, and with all the BRS and fans have a healthy and happy weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your well wishes - much appreciated x

      Delete
  63. Do you have to leave the comment only on this posting or do you get credit if you leave the comment on the next blog post? Had good weather here if only the flies and bees weren't so abundant. Today I got to go on a cemetery tour and take the youngest grandson to the local car dealer where he was allowed to ride on a monster truck--both free. A lot of Halloween activities coming up--as long as weather stays. And the tour begins!!!

    ReplyDelete
  64. As we need 200 comments to get the new MW parody piece, could I please ask people to leave further comments, however dull they may be. Comments from Manc lad, GOB, Lizzy, Anon E Mouse, Chuck/Person thing and any other banned members are NOT welcome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ps 55 comments still needed. 54 now.

      Delete
    2. You can't ban manclad, anon, but of course you know that - it was an ingenious ploy to get another 3 comments!

      Delete
    3. I HAVE banned Manclad. He has not only stooped to the depths of Chuck and Co by posting lies about me on SoLow, but he has also left a number of nasty comments about me on my own blog. He is a c***, and I don't want him here.

      Delete
  65. facy123: "Awwww....now I'm to believe you need 200 comments? Yesterday it was only 100. What is this? Some sort of numbers game?"

    OM pissed off to Monopoly last night and won - for the 43rd time in 45 games - and he told diddums to write a brand spanking new parody with help from the world most incompetent administrator!

    Any delaying tactics are welcome!

    ReplyDelete
  66. 200 comments!are you going for a new blog record? your wish is my command.i am happy that i can be a part of this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well done Inge. HOW did you find us? Tell us your story..... preferably in a number of different parts.

      Delete
  67. I wonder which playing piece is OM's favourite in monopoly. Top hat?

    ReplyDelete
  68. I have been on twitter now for about a year and a half.they reason i got a twitter account might be a bit weird so don't laugh.i went to this tarot card lady and she told me that i would meet Morrissey on social network.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No.it was not someone on twitter.

      Delete
    2. She used to be on twitter. Did your tarot card lady have a piece of wood?

      Delete
  69. I did some research on google about Moz blogs.got the twitter account and was very happy to be able to meet the right people.true Moz fans that have an open mind.

    ReplyDelete
  70. I hope than i will meet some people from twitter at the concerts.i am going alone to all six concerts so it would be nice if someone would just say hi.if that someone would be Morrissey than i will have a smile on my face for the rest of my life:)

    ReplyDelete
  71. If Morrissey reads this blog...i am staying at Hotel am Konzerthaus in Vienna from the 23th till 26th.if you want to drink a g&t with me you know where to find me;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, no, no. That's not what we do here. Please have some decorum.

      Delete
  72. Sorry.you can delete it if you want to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't be daft, we need every comment we can get!

      Delete
  73. How much time do you spend on writing your blogs?it must be a lot of hours every week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Far far too many, but I believe that this story is VERY important. It is history in the making. MorrisseysWorld is every bit as important as Fernando Pessoas hidden works. Can you imagine what historians will make of this? MORRISSEY on the internet and ALL his fans missed it.... bar a few.

      Delete
    2. I have a lot of respect for you.you spend so much time getting the word out and trying to make people see that moz does use twitter. It is fun how people always claim to be moz his biggest fan but don't even take the time to read your blog.

      Delete
  74. That was then, this is so chichi, all the rage and slightly rococo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No idea what this means, but it helps in our target of 200 comments, so thank you. No other b****** is bothering!

      Delete
    2. I don't know what it means either. I was hoping someone could translate it. :-)

      Delete
  75. Have I ever expressed my thanks to OM for introducing to me Kenneth Williams, I've been scouring record stores looking for Round rhe horne No luck yet but I did go back for a album of greatest hits, what are nadgers?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Spits out pasta* Put it this way, you don't have any, and old Adolf allegedly only had one, with the other being in the Albert Hall.

      Delete
    2. LOL I've been singing that song aloud since yesterday, luckily no one around here pays any attention to me if they did they'd be worried.

      Delete
  76. We only need 25 more comments.now 24....

    ReplyDelete
  77. I am here to make up numbers, I want it to get to the target :-) xx make that 23

    ReplyDelete
  78. The sky is dark like my mood
    Consider this a comment
    Less of the fence Rat
    Be grateful

    ReplyDelete
  79. Never have I had to scroll so much through the comments section of a FTM post, Good job everyone! We'll see that 2nd part yet!

    ReplyDelete
  80. It makes me happy that there are almost 200 comments posted.we only need a few more...

    ReplyDelete
  81. My Mind: "Time to go run 5 miles." My Body: "I'm tired, I don't feel like running." Question: Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body? Off to go run bye!!

    ReplyDelete
  82. I would like to wake up tomorrow morning and see that there are 200 (or more) comments posted.i am gonna sleep.goodnight.

    ReplyDelete
  83. err are we there yet? forgive my spelling by the way x

    ReplyDelete

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