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Sunday, 28 September 2014

Day 1109 - MorrisseysWorld... NOT for the faint hearted

We have once again gone through the curtain/through the back of the wardrobe/down the rabbit hole, and are back in MorrisseysWorld; but be warned, it is NOT for the faint hearted.

For those who are new to MorrisseysWorld, perhaps I should give a brief resumé of what it is all about, and also introduce the characters involved.

MorrisseysWorld was 'properly' launched in May 2011 by person/persons unknown. It was initially a blog site, but a twitter account was also created shortly afterwards. Over the course of the past three years, a number of people; known as the Dreary Deluded Dozen (DDD), which includes myself,  have become convinced that Morrissey himself is behind MorrisseysWorld. A far greater number of Morrissey fans have dismissed the DDDs notion, citing that they KNOW that Morrissey would NEVER do such a thing, but ultimately, NOBODY ACTUALLY KNOWS, it is all just opinion.

These differing opinions have at times caused conflict amongst Morrissey fans, which is quite ridiculous, but Morrissey fans can get very passionate when it comes to their idol; after all, he IS The Mozziah. Some of those who do not accept that Morrissey is behind MorrisseysWorld have become obsessed with finding out who the author is, but in the three years since MW has been going, NOBODY has managed to find out. Many many allegations and false accusations have been made, with a number of those false accusations thrown at me, which is both tiresome and ridiculous.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter who is behind MorrisseysWorld, it should just be embraced as a piece of entertainment. It is like an online soap opera for Morrissey fans. Here are the main characters:

Our Mozzer - Also referred to as OM. Our Mozzer is a parody of the seminal artiste Morrissey. Despite being a hairy backed bedsit dweller, OM has convinced himself that he is the actual Morrissey, and his delusion isn't helped by the fact that, rather bizarrely, OM has somehow managed to get the real Morrissey to carry out a large number of his predictions, which is why the DDD are so convinced that OM is more than just the work of a fan with a good working knowledge of Morrissey. Those who don't believe that Morrissey is behind OM, have put all of these happenings down to coincidence.

The character Our Mozzer is quite a diva, and even uses the user name 'Morrissey' when posting comments on FTM. OM is NEVER wrong.


R - R is Our Mozzer's secretary, and is used for posting comments when OM can't be bothered. R is not a major part of MW.

Broken - Broken is very very complicated. Whereas OM is a parody of the singer Morrissey, Broken is a completely different part of Morrissey's make-up, and often appears on the scene when the real Morrissey is at a particular low point in life. A few of the DDD believe that Morrissey is also behind Broken, and that Broken is in fact a reflection of the real Morrissey when he is in the arse of the world. It should be noted that this is not always the case though, and Broken is a character in his own right, who can appear even when the real Morrissey isn't feeling low (if there ever is a time when the real Morrissey isn't feeingl low!).

When in character, Broken is portrayed as a failed medic in his thirties, who has at some stage in his life attempted suicide. Broken is a meat eater; or so he says, although this may well be just ammunition to start arguments, and has an obsessional interest in Justin Bieber, who he believes could be the next Morrissey. Broken does not make friends easily, and can be most bitchy and unforgiving, but only if provoked. A number of MorrisseysWorlders have fallen out with Broken for a whole host of reasons; from his sexual desires towards Bieber, to their lack of compassion and own self obsession. Broken is NEVER wrong, or at least he doesn't think he is. Broken is OM's right hand man. Approach with caution.


Boz - Boz is a reflection of the MorrisseyBand member Boz Boorer, but in MorrisseysWorld, he is treated as a bit of a klutz. Broken is particularly hard on poor Boz. Other members of the real MorrisseyBand are also mentioned from time to time in MorrisseysWorld, with Jesse as somebody who speaks pigeon English, and Solomon as a waiter who is not allowed to speak.


Astraea - Astra is an "all seeing, never believing, still searching" Goddess. She plays wonderful music, and walks on air. Some of the DDD believe Morrissey to be behind Astra. Despite being a Goddess, Astra unfortunately shares Broken's obsession for all things Bieber.

Log Lady - Stolen from the US TV show of the 1990s. It is believed by some members of the DDD that Log Lady is the work of Russell Brand, whilst others believe it to be Morrissey. Log Lady makes predictions about Morrissey, which have an uncanny knack of coming true. Her most famous one being the 'Rose of Bogotá' prediction, in which a white rose given to Morrissey turned red, just as Log Lady had said it would.




Mikey Bracewell - A parody of Morrissey's real life friend, novelist Michael Bracewell.

Mam - A parody of Morrissey's real mother.

Tour cat - A parody cat that goes on tour.

The DDD - A small group of MorrisseysWorlders who believe that Morrissey is behind MorrisseysWorld.

MorrisseysWorlders - Those who follow the story of MorrisseysWorld, but don't necessarily believe that Morrissey is behind it.

BlueRoseSociety (BRS) - The Blue Rose Society are a group of fans who haven't necessarily followed the MW story, and don't necessarily believe that Morrissey is behind it, but they like the idea of taking a blue rose to Morrissey concerts, and offering them to the 'Real and Proper Poet Laureate'. Morrissey has made it perfectly clear that he likes blue roses, as he keeps accepting and wearing them..... although it should be noted that he isn't a whore, and won't always accept every blue rose offered to him, which the BRS understand.

The Twitterdilly Arms - This is an imaginary Morrissey theme pub located on twitter, where MorrisseysWorlders/BRS members meet to discuss all things Morrissey, and play music on the jukebox. The DM section of twitter is the pub toilets.

And THAT ladies and gentlemen, is MorrisseysWorld.

We are currently awaiting a new parody piece written by Our Mozzer. It is part Part 2B of a piece entitled Concert Bans & Ejections Committee. Part 2A and some of Part 1 can be found here:


  1. I cannot wait for the soap opera to is so much fun.

  2. Thanks Rat, this helps out immensely for us new to the FTM.

  3. i always enjoy the saga not so much the crap though that comes with it xxx

  4. Hearts of oak are charred and blistered.


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