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Sunday, 5 October 2014

Day 1116 - Interview

Morrissey has given an interview to the Spanish website, but nobody at shitty old SoLow have bothered to translate it; they are all too busy slagging Morrissey off to have any interest in what he actually has to say! I have therefore delayed my retirement for a day, and have tried to translate Morrissey's words. My apologies for any mistakes:

On books written by other rock stars: "I'm surprised that there are so many of my counterparts who actually think they have something to say. When you read their books, they do not. My Autobiography is self-explanatory, so I will not talk about it on television, radio or in newspapers."

On Harvest: "I did not leave, I was kicked out. They tried to keep my record but found that they had no rights. It was all a stupid mess caused by a man called Steve Barnett, who has less brains than an artificial flower. The fact that someone like him can run a label is a sign of how bad things in the music world are."

On Rough Trade: "Rough Trade have gone down in history for having the Smiths but not inviting us to lunch to celebrate our success." On touring: "I do not get rich by touring. All monet generated is invested in other things. Many people ask me what the point of touring is, and I say, "this is my life"". 

On bullfighting: "I remember telling the Spanish public 'I've seen your national sport and it's not very nice'. Obviously killing bulls is not sport, it is torture." 

On the Bullfighter Dies: "I understand that you want to come and watch death, so what is the difference between the death of the bull or the matador? Both are beings who want to live and not feel pain. The matador has the picador and other helpers that help torment the bull, whereas the bull is alone, and should have our sympathy. It is the matador who decides that this occurs and the bull is the victim. Human instinct should always be to protect the victim. Bullfighters are vermin; they should kill one another." 

On social media: "Social media has good and bad points. Suddenly everyone is an expert... who has never left their bedroom. But dictators and so called royalty can no longer do what they want; the entire world is watching and can dispose those who betray our trust. King Juan Carlos became embarrassed when caught killing endangered species. Elephants are wonderful, calm, wise... it is disgusting what he did. How come he is not in jail?" 

On the British royal family: "I do not like the British royal family and it hurts that some of my taxes end up in the hands of those embarrassing parasites. None of them offer the world anything and are always on holiday in exotic places and killing animals, all with public money. They do not represent England and are dictators like the Assad family in Syria, so we cannot dismantle their shed with good manners; you hand them over to the police. You just have to see what is happening in Hong Kong." 

On ecological distraction: "Industrial agriculture and factory farming are destroying the planet. Every time I see the yellow M of McDonalds, I think about death. Governments tolerate whatever brings in money; benefits from the decline of the human race by suicide. It amuses me that there are countries where attempting suicide is punished while governments spend billions on nuclear weapons, which facilitate collective suicide." 

On moral dilemmas: "I have a problem with synthetic leather shoes. I stopped using fake leather jackets because people became confused and accused me of using real leather. It's easy to stop eating meat and leave out eggs and milk; you feel better physically and ethically, but the synthetic leather shoes are more uncomfortable than genuine leather. It is the last barrier to those who do not want to exploit animals in any way."


  1. Isn't a blue rose "an artificial flower"?

    1. I drew attention to that very same thing on twitter yesterday, but EVERYBODY ignored me. NOBODY is interested in the mystery of MW anymore, hence the reason it seems to have died.

      It was certainly a bizarre thing for Morrissey to say about Steve Barnett.

    2. Sorry I didn't acknowledge your tweet, Ratty - I actually had the very same thought about the artificial flower comment when I first read the interview yesterday. Thanks for the translation - some of us do still care.

    3. Ditto to the above. Especially that some of us still care. There may not be so many of us now - if anything it makes me care even more.

  2. Rat Trip by William Worthless:

    there was a little rat he just long to fly
    in a big balloon high up in the sky
    flying round the world and all across the sea
    high above the clouds flying high and free
    he bought a big balloon then he began to blow
    now the rat was ready time for him to go
    floating in the skies in the sky so blue
    he could see for miles such a lovely view
    suddenly the wind it began to change
    the balloon had lost control and acting rather strange
    it drifted to an island and landed on the shore
    to a foreign land he never saw before
    he took a look around and walked along the beach
    in this land so faraway that was out of reach
    he came across a turtle a friendly chap was he
    walking on the sand down towards the sea
    rat he told the turtle his balloon had lost control
    and that he was stranded the poor little soul
    turtle he told rat i know what to do
    we will got some logs and build a raft for you
    so they built a raft and rat set out to sea
    he said goodbye to turtle now a sailor rat was he
    following the stars he found his own way back
    to his little home along the forest track

    1. Good grief! WHY would you take the time to post this nonsense story, and yet not bother thanking OM for his mesmerizing parody pieces? I despair. *Goes off shaking head and kicking the dirt*

  3. Dear Mozziah,

    Please furnish us with another ingenious parody piece. We aren't worthy, but we are, ever, hopefully and gratefully ALL YOURS.


  4. Thank you so much for the translation!

  5. only just read rats' translated piece, but yeah artificial flower is an odd thing to say, must say he is right about those bleedin' shoes though, especially in the winter (just try walking on some icy path)

  6. Dear Ratty, did you read the newer interview via La Repubblica XL ? That ones even better

  7. So excited for tomorrow! I'm so anxious!!!


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