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Friday, 5 December 2014

Day 1177 - Coming soon

Our Mozzer has left a message via his secretary, 'R', to say that a new parody piece is coming soon. He has once again requested that the piece be left on the front page of FTM for 5 days, but I am going to do better than that, and will give the new parody piece front page exposure on the World's Number 1 Morrissey fawnsite until at least Christmas Eve, and maybe even beyond. It is time for me to disappear for a while. Here is OM's posting:

The next parody will soon be posted.

Once again it must be on the front page for 5 days with no interruption or updates.

If Rat agrees with these conditions, he may write as such below.

'R'

Posted by Morrissey to Following The Mozziah at 4 December 2014 20:15



The new owner of the MorrisseysWorld blogsite, has posted a new article, and although I am loathed to give this attention seeker any sort of publicity, a debate has started as to who could possibly be behind the site. Here is the latest offering:

Morrissey: An Open Letter


Well, you have disappointed most of your fan base with the horrid, and barely listenable WPINOYB album, and you have the nerve to play most of it on your recent tour. The only ones who are pleased with this are you, the very sorry group of "musicians" that you call your band, and the losers known as the BRS.

You always say The Smiths are part of the past, yet you still trudge out some of their songs on tour--hmmm?

It is a pleasure to have this site, and until you reunite with the likes of Alain, Boz, Gary, and Spencer, no one will respect you or your current work. Well, maybe the fools known as the deluded dozen.

Warmest regards,

A True Fan

P.S. I will be like the world's largest sycophant, TRB, and delete any comments that are not worthy of publication. For example, Comrade Harps tried to post something, but he lacked the intellect and thoughtfulness to be permitted to post.
The best bit of this open letter is where the author calls for Moz to reunite with Boz, but I also like the fact that they call themselves a "true fan", having slagged off Morrissey's latest album and band. This 'open letter' stinks to me of being a spoof, designed to make us think that the blog has been taken over by one of the Solowers, but if that were the case, then A) They wouldn't call it 'SoLow' World and B) The author would have had NO interest in Broken, who was the subject of the first article on the site. I am still convinced that it is the work of Chuck, but here is a list of all the runners and their latest odds:

CHUCK: 1/2. Fell out with Broken when he refused to provide her with the evidence she demanded during 'Fag-gate'. Has pretended to be me on both SoLow & twitter, so has previous form for such things. Very bitter about having been expelled from the BRS by Broken.

THAT MAN 5/1. Hates Morrissey.


DAVID T

UNCLE SKINNY: 5/1. Hates Morrissey.

ANOTHER SOLOWER: 5/1. Hates Morrissey.

JOYCE GOAT: 5/1. Hates Morrissey.


JOYCE GOAT

JUDGE WEEKS: (If still alive) 5/1. Hates Morrissey.

NIGEL DAVIS QC: 5/1. Hates Morrissey.

MORRISSEY: 5/1. Hates Morrissey.

BRADLEY STEYN: 10/1. Twat.

BANJAXER: 100/1. Could be doing this as a joke. Many twitter aliases. Has a blog.

MARCUS THE GREEK: 200/1. Fell out with Broken when he refused to provide him with the evidence he demanded during 'Fag-gate'. An unlikely candidate as he would probably not have known the names Alain, Gary and Spencer. Full of own self importance. Has a blog.

GOB: 500/1. Fell out with Broken after allegedly mocking his suicide attempt, calling him a fag, and showing disgust at him fancying a younger man (Bieber). Not a Solower and unlikely to have the wit to write a spoof letter. Has a blog.

LIZZYCAT: 1000/1. Sided with GOB during her fall out out with Broken, and has remained there ever since.

ROSY MIRES 1000/1. Despite promising to walk away from MorrisseysWorld in 2012 following Our Mozzer's mocking of Whitney Houston's demise, Rosy has always remained, and is bitter. Has criticised some of the tracks on WPINOYB, but as she has travelled all over the place to see Moz on this tour, is an unlikely candidate.


WHITNEY

WILLOW: 1000/1. Fell out with Broken when he pointed out her tweets were dull.

GEORGE EDGE. 1000/1. Sided with Willow when she fell out with Broken, and has remained there. Has a blog.

ANON WHO ALWAYS MOANS THAT HE/SHE WAS FIRST TO COME UP WITH THE IDEA OF BLUE ROSE: 1000/1. An unlikely candidate as the text on the site would have been one long ramble and would have gone on about how the idea of the blue rose came from another in the first place and had been stolen by those with no scruples just because they weren't homeless or could afford to go and watch Morrissey all over the world whereas others who are less fortunate can't but that doesn't mean they love Morrissey any less.

Morrissey returns to the stage tonight in Athens, and then has five more concerts before the end of the tour. As this will be my last blog entry for a while, let me take this opportunity to wish all of the BRS members a Merry Christmas, and to the others who read this old tosh of mine, I wish for you the ability to open your eyes, minds and hearts. One day you will realise.


*Goes off singing* And I've never felt so alive, in the whole of my life, in the whole of myyyy life. Free yourself, be yourself, come to The Arms and see yourself.

70 comments:

  1. well, what a relief I wasn't in the running, I am usually the butt of jokes when being portrayed etc. so I guess not being included is some sort of bonus

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Manc lad, you could never string that many coherent sentences together, but I'll add you if you like. Odds of 10,000/1.

      Delete
  2. "MORRISSEY: 5/1. Hates Morrissey."

    Haha - excellent, must be the front-runner

    ReplyDelete
  3. yes. I have a blog. that has moz reviews on it from this tour.
    but you've not read them.

    p.s/ glad you managed to mention me though

    x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
    x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
    x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

    pps/ will you send me kisses back please?
    ppps/ you are kinda cute
    pppps/ I say this in a manly way

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear George, Merry Christmas. Here are your presents: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iREcwCmKeSM + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SutsRPLFeFY + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aDSHdUohmA
      X

      Delete
    2. haha
      thank you rat
      I love them all.

      let me kiss you is sublime and beautiful there. as ever.
      how I wish it had been sung this tour.
      so many happy memories of 2011-2012 gigs

      and I even got a big kiss at the end?!!
      HOW LUCKY AM I??!!

      *goes off all happy*

      Delete
  4. Let's start with saying that i love the picture of the rat with the xmas hat.
    If i did not read this aweful article from the MW blog that you just posted i would not have believed it.How can anyone write such s**t thing about Moz.Wpinoyb is a masterpiece, and i can not imagine that there are fans that don't like the album.Don't know why people are so mean.
    Right now i can only waith for a new parody piece.
    It's still early, but merry x moz to all of you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Broken's forgiven,& you're forgiven,so cross me off your list.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your odds have just gone to 2000/1. Perhaps it is time for you and I to unblock each other on twitter. In fact, perhaps the BRS members and all the ex BRS members should act out our own version of the Sainsbury's Christmas tv advert; you give me cheese, I give you Babycham, and then after Christmas we can all start fighting again.

      Delete
    2. More like the WWI Christmas Armistice...

      Delete
    3. I like the idea of everyone getting drunk, playing moz records, getting along ... and *kissing each other lots.
      why am I so obsessed with kissing?!!
      *no dudes though
      **but manly way is okay #obvs

      you two back together on twit would make me so happy, you know

      Delete
    4. No dudes?! What about #vivahumasexuality ?

      Delete
    5. you obvs are on the babycham already and missed the last **
      **it is allowed if in manly way
      ***thugmoz era pref. bye

      Delete
    6. You mean Sainsbury's stole the idea?

      Delete
    7. I just had to youtube this "advert" thing you speak of ;)
      and yes. I do rather like it. haha
      you mean Sainsbury's stole the idea of it being okay if in a manly way?!
      yes I think they did
      cause that ending was the cutest thing I ever seen.
      very manly. but still cute as.
      **even if they left out the "manly kissing"
      bye

      Delete
  6. When I read it this morning, I questioned if it was a spoof letter, and thought that maybe Morrissey was behind it.
    But a few things strike me as odd.
    Obviously the Boz bit is strange to say the least.
    But it's tit less an Open Letter to Morrissey, which to me would indicate that whoever wrote it believes that Morrissey was behind MW, and knows that he will read it or at the very least be made aware of it.
    The Smiths bit was great- I like they way they say that Morrissey sings some of their songs on his recent tour. Hmmm? I may have got this wrong, but aren't they his songs to sing?

    Christmas is cancelled this year in this house, but Merry Christmas Rat.
    I hope you're off somewhere warm or are you just having a blog break?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Tit less??? That should say titled.
    I've never written that before in my life so I can't blame autocorrect....

    ReplyDelete
  8. 1st- Horrific that he actually may read that, 2nd - How would you take over that blog?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1) It's a spoof letter & anyway, I'm sure Moz has read a lot lot worse... just from former drummers 2) If you deactivate a blog & don't reactivate it within 30 days, you lose it. Same with a twitter account. 3) There is no 3. Merry CrossMoz.

      Delete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The MW blog post is very similar to recurring comments that used to appear on the old MW blog as well as on Solow, written by a certain "fan" who always criticized the recent songs and current band. Hope to see the new parody very sOOn - a taste of "real" MW material would be most welcome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. very well spotted HC. I remember those comments

      Delete
  11. Very odd to write such nonsens, and then delete the post altogether. (when I clicked the link, it wasn't there anymore) No backbone whatsoever. I'm referring to the unspeakable 'Open Letter'. *Ignore, ignore, ignore*
    On a happier note, I hold dear memories from the two gigs I was able to attent and the fun that I got to experience.

    Ønsker deg en riktig god Jul, og godt Nytt År!

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    1. You mean he wasn't travelling by coach?

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. It's nice to have been mentioned, but it's comrade harps, not Comrade Harps (so the bounder can't even get that right).

    As soon as I saw that the comments were moderated prior to publication I figured it wouldn't get through.

    Goes off singing:

    I am sick and I am dull
    and I am plain

    ReplyDelete
  14. Leaving fingerprints all over the place with a calling card of two consecutive hyphens. Odd that the B Budd blogger profile has over 1300 views. Our Mozzer has approximately 1700, Broken has about 200. Hmmm indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Although it is far too early for Xmas joy, I will join Rats in wishing anyone who passes through these doors a cool yule and a revolting new year.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  16. Merry Christmas to all, even though I loathe Christmas. Enjoy your break from blogging Rat. Hopefully the new year will bring much excitement in the Moz world. Obviously I am excited about the new parody. As for that ridiculous "Open Letter", it does seem a total spoof and though the contents are cruel, I've read much, much worse, mainly on SoLow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The open letter is full of thoughtless cliches, isn't it (except for the Boz bit). The Spencer mention, though, that's parody.

      Delete
  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  18. Thanks Manc, sensible as always

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  19. Replies
    1. This is excellent news.

      'T'

      Delete
    2. Marvellous. Is it coming by carrier pigeon?

      'G' ('WO')

      Delete
  20. Dear OM/ 'R', Please do not now post the parody (if there ever was one), as I have now left the building.

    Rat

    *Gone*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow! You are one sorry sod. How old are you in all seriousness?

      You must have serious issues with the constant "I'm leaving" BS. You need to take off the skirt and grow a set.

      Delete
  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  22. Yes I said delete the post as you had no right posting it on here or Twitter.
    It wasn't about Morrissey it was about you.
    You being first to know, you being the bearer of bad news.

    If it is true or not, you still had no right.
    If you do get given information by someone they should stop, because all you'll do is blab it out to everyone.

    I hope the rumours aren't true.
    Poor Morrissey, it's awful that so called fans do this.
    We all know he is a private person, and he always has been.

    Think we should all let Morrissey carry on with the last few remaining dates of this years tour in peace.
    He's looked happy and healthy through the whole tour, I hope he enjoys the rest of the shows!

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  23. Maybe the parody can be posted on my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Congratulations to Morrissey & the band for a fantastic tour. The concerts I was lucky enough to go to were magical & the memories will always stay with me.
    My heartfelt thanks & I hope everyone will enjoy a peaceful break.

    ReplyDelete
  25. OM has announced via email that he'll be releasing his latest parody this weekend.

    'R'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear OM/'R', I have just returned from a very relaxing two week holiday in Mehico, where I have been internet free for thirteen wonderful days. Unfortunately, in my absence, my email box has filled to capacity, so I am missing a number of emails. If you have posted a new parody, could you please let me know where it is, so that I may post it to a waiting audience. Thank you. If you haven't yet posted it, then f****** get on with it you c***. Thank you again.

      Rat.... who is now back

      Delete
  26. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  27. Wonderful news, very excited for another dose of grade A parody, especially during the usual holiday malaise.

    ReplyDelete
  28. MW was ahead of his time on this one but it looks like the 'Illuminati Party' is coming to an end...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxoe7j9Olg

    ReplyDelete
  29. Smashing news that we have the new parody on the way. Thank you.

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  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  31. Glad to hear about the new parody. I will be looking forward to it. It will make a great Christmas present. Hope all you Moz fans who follow MW and FTM are having a good holiday season, Moz and his band also, now that they can rest after the wonderful tour. As for me, I can not believe it's almost Christmas Day. For me time seems to speed up as I get older.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Replies
    1. Welcome back, Ratty, and happy birthday! Hopefully you'll get a new parody to post very soon...

      Delete
    2. Very well remembered, and thank you; my mother has always maintained that I was the best Christmas present she ever had, but in fairness our family have never been particularly good with Christmas presents, and the only other rival as my mother's 'Best Ever Christmas Present' was the empty shoe box she received in 1943, which apparently was particularly gratifying during such hard times; she still has it, it acts as a jewellery box.... not that she has any jewellery, except for her collection of plastic 'Christmas Cracker Bracelets'.

      Anyway, enough of my nonsense, where the hell is that new parody piece to warm all of our collective cockles this Christmas?

      Rat

      Ps All I want for Christmas is a Beatle.

      Delete
  33. Merry Christmas/Xmas (whatever you prefer) to everyone! Needless to say that I'm waiting for that new parody like everyone else... I hope it materialises soon.

    As for the question who owns the MW blog address now - I really have no idea, and I doubt we'll ever find out. There was an article called "Parody part II" lately (or something like that), but honestly, it wasn't worth reading.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Happy Christmas to you all
    With love & light.

    ReplyDelete
  35. OM has announced posting of the parody is suspended until FTM gets more comments.

    "I hardly think a certain icon star would be seen dead on a blog site with so few comments," said OM with a sad smile.

    R

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  36. Should read *iconic

    apologies - R.

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  37. Do we have a goal of the amount of comments?

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  38. My comment is: Please post the parody! It's the only glimmer of hope I've had to get me through December. Christmas simply hasn't been the same this year without OM's mesmerizing presence to bring us some cheer.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Agreed Heather. OM's presence is greatly missed.

    Pretty please with a cherry on top can we have the parody soon.

    ReplyDelete

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