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Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Day 1274 - Give it away

Having sneezed his way through Monday nights concert in Groningen, Morrissey yesterday pulled the plug on last nights scheduled event in Tilburg, and so now the next stop is Nottingham on Friday; although according to the fake Fake Mozzer, AlfsButton (@AlfsButton), that concert is also in jeopardy. Here is what he posted on twitter yesterday:

"Nottingham will need to be a sell out otherwise I might just catch another cold."

Of course the reassuring thing for those who have tickets for Nottingham, is that so far, NONE of Alf's predictions have ever come true, but I have just paid a visit to Ticketmaster, and it is still possible to buy rows of 8 seats together in Nottingham, so it definitely won't be anywhere near a sell out! Could the concert be in jeopardy? We will have to see.

Fake Fake Mozzer also offered these words in The Twitterdilly Arms yesterday:

"Jeremy Clarkson has been 'suspended'. Viewing figures will rise and Jeremy will be back. Clever."

"I wish Judy Finnigan had gone to Crufts. She could have been dead. Of course she would never have noticed the poison in her triple vodka."

I asked Alf if Judy was still alive, to which he replied, "The look of a corpse but somehow still alive. You have to wonder if death is perhaps welcome after being married to Richard Madeley."


"StereokicksUKTour May it all fall apart and the members become bar girls and prostitutes"

In response to the above, I tweeted, "I'm sure that they wish the same for the Morrissey Band", to which Alf replied, "Nobody could afford me but Boz would give it away"

Embedded image permalink

Whilst Alf's account was open, I scrolled back through his tweets, and realised that he had made a brief visit to The Arms on Sunday night; the night before Morrissey returned to the stage. Here are Alf's highlights:

"Is it that time again?"

"There will be no surprises. Except life."

"Does Manchester exist or is it just a dream?"

"It must all look so sunny and rosy from the bedsit in Bradford"

I am presuming that the above tweet refers to the So-low censor, Uncle Skinny, who when not censoring anyone who doesn't share his view regarding Morrissey, spends his time writing to the Bradford Telegraph & Argus, telling people who they should or shouldn't vote for:

"No surprises. Not a whiff of a new melody. But has it not been that way since 1994?"

Alf had also made an appearance last Friday:

"If genius was appreciated it would cease to be genius"

"If artists were lauded like Katie Price there would cease to be art"

"Talent is hidden. It lurks in the corner of the mind and can be found. Genius is hidden and forever shall it be"

"Modern life is all about being closer connected, Whoever had that idea should be shot."

Whether or not AlfsButton is anything to do with Morrissey, one thing is for sure, he certainly believes he is Moz, and he tweets as if he is Morrissey. You therefore have to ask, would the real Moz allow this to continue if it wasn't him? Is there anybody else on twitter claiming to be the real Morrissey and getting away with it?

The only Youtube footage to emerge so far from Mondays concert, is a montage and Speedway. One thing that I hadn't noticed, that was spotted by Jaz, is that Morrissey was once again wearing finger lingerie, so I shall make that 2015 Tour Coincidence Number 5. The finger lingerie is of course a MorrisseysWorld reference from 2011, when Our Mozzer mentioned it in his diary:

6TH OCTOBER 2011 - 'My Twitter Journal 6th September - 6th October 2011':

"Consider leaving plaster on finger long after healing or altenatively wearing cosmetic finger plaster to emphasize personal suffering of my journey."


And finally, it would appear that the Blue Rose Society has lost another of its members. Inge, our sole Dutch member, was tweeting from the queue of yesterdays ill fated concert, so I asked her if she had a blue rose with her. She replied that she didn't, and added that she had given up on the BRS. It was only five months ago that I wrote how Inge had reignited the BRS, but it would appear that Inge's failure to get a rose to Moz has doused her flame.

I'm not too sure how many BRS members are actually left now. The only ones that I can think of, who have followed the whole MorrisseysWorld story, and who would actually take a blue rose to a Morrissey concert are EARS, Heather, Angela, Brian, Kyle, Jaz, Moz Fiend and me. How did it ever come to this? It really is an act of genius to give SO much evidence, and yet still manage to convince people that it is all fake.


  1. Thid Journey has been alot like the X-Files. We know the truth is out there, "They" choose not to "Believe"

    1. Mulder's poster: I want to believe.

      Actually, I do.

  2. aaw as usual I have been missed, but I come to except these things

    1. I didn't think you took roses to concerts. You, JG, GWO etc are all stalwarts of MW, but I didn't think that standing there with a rose was of interest to you!

    2. just maybe you are wrong then colonel whiskers

  3. I am happy to still be an acknowledged member of BRS and when Moz graces a stage that I can actually make it to, I will have my rose in hand.

  4. I feel sorry for fellow Top Gear fans, Jeremy Clarkson not so much, as dynamic a presenter as he is, he's always getting into something.
    I'm not rushing a west coast tour, all good things come to those who wait, but if no one uploads videos or pictures then I might start to get antsy. Either way, I'll always be true to blue..roses.

  5. I am still here. I was unable to post comment on FTM yesterday and had to re-register. I do hope OM feels well soon. Spring is just around the corner and who wants to be ill for that. Actually, whoever the gods are that decide when spring will appear have been teasing us where I live with spring like temperatures for the next week or more. I hope it continues, but Mr Winter can make an appearance at any time during next few weeks. So Moz please get well soon and try to build up your immunity, you seem to be picking up every bug that's going around.

  6. Reading Inge's timeline, I find no hint that she said she had given up on BRS, just that she liked to have her hands free to finally get a handshake. You clearly enjoy bending the truth a little at times, you cheeky old Rat! I also noted that you deleted your tweets towards her, but having my little spies everywhere, I can still read them ;-)

    But more importantly, I saw an interesting tweet from @banjaxer last night - it said something like "Morrissey. Interview. Exclusive. Here. Soon." I replied to ask for more details, but he didn't react and the tweet is now gone. What is banjaxer's role in all this?

    1. The tweets HAVEN'T been deleted Monsieur/Madamme Orange, and if you read them properly you will see that when I asked Inge if she had given up, she replied "yes"! Hardly bending anything!
      It would be great if Banjaxer has managed to bag himself an exclusive interview; during this journey he has had to absorb a load of abuse and accusation, and yet has remained tight lipped and extremely loyal. For what it's worth, I believe Banjaxer is one of the very few outside Morrissey's inner circle who actually knows the truth about MorrisseysWorld. If Banjaxer's latest tweet is to be believed, it looks as though the Elektra deal could be in the bag. Exciting times.

    2. I guess the interview is Alan Carr then.

  7. As far as I can tell, approximately twelve stalwart souls still remain (regardless of their interest in bringing roses to concerts), so the DDD lives on. I hope that someday I'll have another opportunity to offer a rose to Moz. In the meantime, I'll continue to enjoy the ride, just as I always have. Get well soon, Mozzer.

    1. I'm still waiting for confirmation to see if I can get a blue rose opportunity in Sydney in May. Opera House, though, all very formal and seated, but we'll see.

    2. Formal & seated counts for nothing at a Moz concert; when those lights go down, you just rush to the front. I loved doing that at both the London Palladium and Brooklyn's BAM - the ushers just don't know what to do.

  8. My rose is currently at the PO awaiting collection.
    If the show goes on I shall be there, rose in hand & hope in heart.

    1. I have once again chosen to go with a silk one, and will be wearing it on my lapel with pride.


    1. now that's my idea of a coffin, shame

  10. I'm feeling playful today. Anyone seen JB?

    1. Good After-Morning Astra.
      Glad you were feeling playful yesterday!
      I actually saw JB yesterday. He was in a photo at the Arena in Nottingham. It was taken whilst he WAS performing there. Did you see it? I took a photo of it myself, I would send over but you have no bloody Twatter account STILL!!!

    2. Good after-morning to you,

      What was JB wearing?

    3. Hello Astra, after-recovery-morning here. Hope you are well?
      I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my JB find in Nottingham. He was wearing a white shirt, and white jogging pants with a black line down the sides. No gloves fingerless or otherwise, and the photo cuts off just below his knees so can't see his shoes. Oh and he had sunglasses on.
      He had signed the photo, with his name and a heart (bless).
      The photo was dated 24th March 2011.
      I wonder if a certain iconic pop star who is due to appear live on the 24th March this year would wear similar attire in JB's honour during that show? Wouldn't that be a coincidence? Now even just the sunglasses.... It'll never happen, he just wouldn't do that!

    4. A white shirt and white jogging pants with a black line down the side too much!

    5. Yes, too much. Would be quite a SURPRISE though...
      Hope you surprised your Mother today?

    6. I'm still talking about JB.

      I was saying that if he was wearing a white shirt and a pair of white jogging bottoms, then that is a white shirt and a pair of white jogging bottoms that he was wearing too much by.

      I love JB in white.

      But I love him most of all in nothing at all.

    7. That was a sentence and a half then, had to keep still and read it very slowly.
      I did get the gist of what you were implying, but I keep trying to change the subject from JB, but you keep managing to swing it back round to him.
      You are obsessed.

  11. Blue Rose Riddle Me Blue

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    When the tour starts
    Blue roses in view

    My eyes are like emeralds
    My gaze made of amber
    In love we fan embers
    And with daring exuberance
    Blue roses all
    Whisper your name

    A Muse in name and nature
    Searching for eloquence, love
    And danger
    But never forget that when Calliope sang
    Oh Calliope, Calliope...

    The sisters were punished
    And hubris was turned to despair

    Presiding over harmony
    The sweetest voice brings ecstasy
    My shoulders lie bare
    My touch, as I caress with innocence
    My eyes bathe everyone with tenderness
    But look not to me
    The answer does not lie here

    In the darkness, what can you see?
    When it falls, do you know what to do?
    In the silence
    And when time's tide will smother you
    There will be blue roses, again
    Blue roses, anew

    Blue roses,
    For the beautiful eyes
    That have wept
    As mine have done, and as they will again

    Blue roses
    For the eyes
    That have laughed

    And blue roses for all
    Who continue to love

    It's dusk now
    It's dark now
    House lights are falling
    Hush again
    Now hush, again
    Eternity's calling

    Formless, shiftless, shapeless
    I have no edges
    I have no boundaries
    Now, watch me go

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    But when the tour starts
    Blue roses in view

    1. This is delicious Astra. So beautiful.

    2. YOU are what is delicious. Everything well, honey?

  12. You are a love Astra.
    I read your poem again last night on the beach. It was the perfect setting under the twinkling stars & the calming sounds of the sea.

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    1. At 8 O’clock - ish, the Moz stage crew lined up facing the audience with arms stretched out towards us. I thought they were praying. You never know what’s going through Moz’s mind these days. Why was he making them do this strange new ritual? They were in fact part of a finely choreographed manoeuvre to catch the 100 foot bed-sheet which the smart phone resolution you tube clips had been projected onto.

      House lights out, Klaus Nomi…. Now we’re talking …. Two minutes of rabid anticipation, those at the barrier cling on tight waiting for the inevitable surge of bodies which will squish them against the rails…
      Moz jaunted onto the stage sporting a blue and silver version of his much loved v-neck zip-up tops. He first discovered this sartorial revelation in 2011. He had a blue one with a red/orange trim in Genoa and Edinburgh that summer. And a plain white one. He wore a brown one with an orange trim in Lisbon. I think he’s also got a grey one. And a red one.

      “Bonsoir! Enchenté! Bournemouth Strikes Again!”

      Cue Matt Walker .... THE QUEEN IS DEAD. Those of us at the front left of the mic were showered from behind with what I really really hope was water. Open-minded as I am, golden showers are definitely not on my “to do” list of experiences. Four loud sweary mancs rushed into the coveted space reserved for “The List” and the mayhem started. The loyal bunch of Moz-list apostles with their numbers marker-penned upon their hands, were mercilessly grabbed, touched, assaulted, shoved and generally subjected to terrace-style behaviour. One of the mancs asked me for a chewing gum. When I told him I had none left, he said “What about that one?” as if it was the most normal thing in the world for a girl to share a chewed chewing gum with a stranger.

      Mozza teased the audience about Bournemouth being better than Brighton. What Brighton lacks in sandy beach and gulf-stream warmth, it makes up for in diversity, crystal-gazing and general coolness, so those in the audience from Brighton weren’t offended. Isle of Wight didn’t even get a mention!

      By the time SUEDEHEAD started, Number 41 and number 45 had started to get pretty annoyed with the Manc lads (Not THE Manc lad…!) and security had their beady eyes on them. “Why do you come here…. “ sang Morrissey to the crazed masses. Every time Morrissey approached our bit, there was bedlam, and I thought of the time he stated in an interview with Rustle; “ You assume all audiences are the same, you can master one audience, you can master anybody’s. My dear friends in the seats are often very aggressive”

      STAIRCASE was next. Everyone sang along to every lyric. All the students in the audience were word perfect for this one…. If you don't GET three A’s, her sweet daddy said, you're no child of mine and as far as I'm concerned... YER DEAD….And her head split three way eeyay yay yay yaysssss

      WORLD PEACE. The first of the evening’s songs where I am conflicted about the lyrics “Each time you vote you support the process…” I’m reminded of my political twitter rows with Rat and sing my own version “each time you don’t vote you support the Tories…”

  14. KISS ME A LOT. SO GOOD. So good so good so good. This was my favourite at the O2, and I was looking forward to hearing it at Bournemouth. It’s made it onto the juke-box int’ Rovers AND the Woolpack. I don’t watch Eastenders but Cathy Plus will tell you whether it’s been played in The Vic. It’s the obvious ‘hit’ from the album in the sense that the average bod can access it. My kids like it and they’re about as mainstream as you can get despite my efforts (parenting fail) He should throw his shirt during it like he used to in Let Me Kiss You.

    ISTANBUL. I had to agree with CGM (chewing gum man) here “Fookin ‘ell, I luv this one!” although I was careful not to encourage any more interaction with him than was necessary.

    NEAL CASSADY and PARIS followed. Always amazes me how people with English as an additional language can sing along word perfect to “Everyone has babies, babies full of rabies, rabies full of scabies……the little fella has got rubella …”

    My favourite of the night was ONE OF OUR OWN. It was superb. Morrissey’s voice is divine. I saw him with his inhaler and he sneezed a few times, but there’s every sign that his flu is long gone as his voice was as pitch perfect as ever. His timing and rhythm as a vocalist intrigue me. He knows exactly what he’s doing. He may not be able to play an instrument in the traditional sense, but the way he uses his own voice, the vocal melodies he writes, put him up there with one of the greatest of musicians. He looked into the pit at the rowdy Mancs and, with his most menacing look sang right at them… “Give me the gun…. I love you….. A job half done isn’t done” It was quite scary!

    SMILER with knife. During the quiet bits, the lairy Mancs got a bit too much for some members of The List. Not sure which number she was, but she weren’t ‘appy. Things looked like they might get ugly. I was worried that she’d take a swipe at him, he would duck, and I‘d be caught in a comedy accidental black eye and fat lip combo.

    SCANDINAVIA - good but it’s one of the songs I skip on the CD… so shoot me.

    WHAT SHE SAID was epic. The mancs loved it. Everyone got lost in the yodelling. The crowd chanted “MORRISSEY MORRISSEY MORRISSEY” and “VIVA HATE 88”.

    Afterwards, Morrissey asked “Do you still listen to Rank?” YEAHHH roar the terraces
    “What for?” asks a mock-puzzled Moz.

    “Well as probably seven or eight of you know, tomorrow is Mothers day. Which is very nice. If your mother is still with us or she’s watching you from beyond…. she did , don’t forget“ After a brief interruption from heckling audience members, Moz thankfully joked “can I continue?” … and continue he did… phew… I had a Warsaw moment… numbers on hands.. searchlights (in Poland of all places!)
    “… she did carry you for nine months, the worst month of which was the tenth month of course, because… POP… suddenly you were there… that must have been a surprise…so... er what the hell was the point of this I cant remember..”

    “SUNDAY..!!” yelled the terraces…

    “Oh… I remember now. Because I’m such a benevolent humanitarian and a kind-hearted person, this is for… with the exception of the obvious three or four mothers… this is for mothers…Everywhere!

    SUNDAY is always a winner in a seaside town, it never fails. I did my best impression of Pink Camera Girl (….but without crying!)
    The audience surged forward, and I wished I had ridiculously long arms, like number 43, the 6 foot 6 Spanish guy who was able to reach Morrissey who shook his hand, “Oh how I dearly wish I was not here ... My friend”. Chewing Gum Man congratulated Spanish guy with a smack on the top of the head.

  15. Morrissey introduced the band and gave us some classic stand-up worthy of the Two Ronnies. “He’s very partial to a large port….. So if you have a picture of Southampton Docks….he’ll be really pleased... BOZ BOORER!” I laughed. He’s a very funny man.
    “WHO ARE YOU?” heckles a brave fan
    “No idea... I am mere matter”
    “I LOVE YOU!” shouts somebody. More teasey nonchalance from Mozza “No you don’t….. next week it will be somebody else... the following week it will be .. somebody else.. I know the drill “

    He’s added a long intro to I’M NOT A MAN ... This was my other favourite of the night. A black and white film (which I can’t identify) played on the big screen. It had hanging swinging lamps in it, a bit like the ones in the video for “The More You Ignore Me” The wooooo hoo hoooo bit is so great. Got totally lost in the yodelling. Had my NOT A MAN badge on too.

    KICK THE BRIDE off the set-list…. I can’t sing along to this! As Rat will tell you, this is because I have no sense of humour and am a bitter man-hating lezza. Incidentally, I have no real issue with Morrissey writing the Kick The Bride lyrics as he once wrote the wonderful Lazy Dykes to counter the sentiment beautifully.

    MEAT - am reminded of when Boz left the Curzon screening of Hollywood High during Meat is Murder to get himself a pint of lager. Took a text break to send a pic to my dear dear friend 4000 miles away but no network. Grrrr.

    BULLFIGHTER, hooray hooray the bullfighter dies, and nobody crie hi hi hi hi hies

    IRISH BLOOD – superb… but another awkward lyric moment for me. Like Moz I was brought up the Oirish way so happily sing along with gusto to “spit upon the name Oliver Cromwell …but have to sing my own bit to “and denounce this royal line that still (don’t) salute himmmmmm, and will (not) salute him for eveeeerrrrr...

    STOP ME – fantastic. This one’s also in Johnny Maher of Wythenshawe’s current set. Great to hear them both still rocking an audience with it. In their own different ways.

    Morrissey changed into a black shirt for the encore. “I would like to thank you for all that you’ve given me. And .... I will see you soon in Brighton!”

    SPEEDWAY “And you won’t smile until this ugly mouth gets smashed good and proper.... Bournemouth la la la la la, Bournemouth la la la laaaa.... Bournemouth Strikes Again” growled Mozza and the terraces chanted it back to him.

    The Bournemouth audience last night was one of the maddest, craziest moz/smiths audiences I’ve ever been in. And that’s quite a few since 1984. Mozza stripped off the black shirt and played with it as Matt Walker drummed. Finally, of ALL the places Moz could have thrown his shirt, he picked…. The Crazy Mancs. As Moz ran to the peace of his Beat The Street bus, hitching up his baggy jeans as he ran, things got VERY ugly! I was lucky to get out alive.

    Morrissey. A fucking awesome night out.

    Then a 90 minute drive back to Brighton with it’s shitty pebble beach and arctic blasts from the east.


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