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Monday, 6 April 2015

Day 1300 - "Morrissey being Morrissey" - Alf Chat (Unpublished)

With my gagging order in place, I can no longer publicly write about AlfsButton on my blog, so here I am once again having to write unpublished articles, just for the record.

I have created a new character called Kerry Ann Kemping to write about Alf's tweets in the comments section of FTM, but of course Kerry Ann can't mention any of the DM conversations between myself and Alf, so here they are:

Thursday April 2nd

Alf - "Rat you c***"

(I wasn't on line to reply to the above!)

Friday April 3rd

Alf - "Your blog cannot mention me yet yesterday I announced the US tour before TTY"
Me - "You are right. But what can I do?"
Alf  - "You do what is right! You create a fake account and comment on your own blog.
Me - "What do you mean about creating a fake account? And WHY will MW never let me mention you? Why?"
Alf - "Perhaps because this is Morrissey being Morrissey. Not Morrissey pretending not to be Morrissey. Does your head hurt? As for fake accounts, create an account you can comment on your blog with that is not you. Have a conversation with yourself. I am quite the master of that."
Me - "I have had conversations on twitter with cousin Fluff before; it's quite therapeutic. And my self therapy sessions on FTM of course."
Alf - "Self therapy is the only way to go. You can interpret things how your warped mind wishes to interpret them."

Saturday April 4th

Alf - "Well? Did you do as asked? I already know you did."
Me - "I expect everyone will guess; I'm not exactly subtle. Can you leave your account open though, as I never remember what you say!"
Alf - "What I say is completely forgettable"
Me - "There is substance in-between the nothingness, but not many see it."
Alf - "If only there was nothingness in-between substance. I mirror life Rat, I mirror life."
Me - "Wise words, old son, wise words. Does my poor punctuation make you wince?"
Alf - "You, in general, make me wince."

And then he was gone, and the c*** closed his account once again so that I couldn't copy his tweets!

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