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Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Day 1316 - Why I Created MorrisseysWorld by Broken

Broken paid a visit to The Arms yesterday evening, but he didn't seem to be particularly talkative. He chatted a bit to his favourite MorrisseysWorlder, Jaz, and exchanged the odd word with me and a couple of others, but he soon disappeared. Here are his highlights:

"Conversation is to love as sunlight to a flower"

"Sadness is a welcome distraction from boredom."

"UKIP 2015"

"Love, like cancer, first goes undetected, then shocks, and finally kills the host."

I asked Broken if we were getting a new parody, and he responded with, "was the number met?" The answer, of course, is NO, the number WASN'T met. We managed to get fifteen articles posted, and NOT the requested thirty.

I have nothing else to add today, other than to report that according to the Mechanical Orange, the ownership of the MorrisseysWorld.Com website that I first wrote about last April (Ed - this is well worth re-reading & has some excellent links to other sites, including Donnie Knutson's), has now expired. It would appear that Banjaxer's promise of, "Gubbins afoot. Good gubbins" will not now come to fruition. Regular readers of FTM will remember that MW.Com used to link to True-To-You, and looked set to take over from Morrissey-Solo as the new Moz fan site for actual fans. WHY did MW.Com never happen? It's a crying shame.

As I have nothing else to write, here is an article from the archives of the MorrisseysWorld blog:

FRIDAY, 26 JULY 2013

Why I Created MorrisseysWorld by 'Broken'

I don't know why I created MorrisseysWorld Blog really. Maybe it's because I'm a fat c*nt with no life, so I thought it would be fun to make fun of Morrissey's life. Maybe it's because I'm a pointless and social phobic gay virgin in his mid-late 30s. Maybe it's because I'm f***ing bored and KFC lost that edge it once had.

I'm certainly a human being in deep, deep shit. I made that pathetic ringleader blog too, and tried to pass it off as an interview with Morrissey. Tseng didn't fall for it. Why, oh why, did I send it from all the same old internet cafes in the student area of London, instead of leaving to others to post?

God knows why Morrissey made all those pledges come true. I didn't expect him to take his shirt off at the Palladium... didn't expect white rose, or red rose, or blue rose, or the blue rose ring, or the owl eye sign, or the V-signs, or the tour announcements tallying with mine, or the white rose on linder's article, or... well... f***ing hey, you don't actually think those were anything more than coincidence, do you?

Look, it's coincidence, you moron. Peter Skinny'll tell you, if you ask him and he hasn't already blocked you.

Fifteen or twenty coincidences out of the thirty or forty things the blogger implied might happen... cold reading,... big deal. F***.

Same thing happens at solo, I mean look when they predicted Morrissey would ban david steng and, well, wear those f*** solo t-shirts, and they predicted the roses too, and the tour dates and morrisseysmum, now there's a f***ing clairyoyant.

Anyway, bollocks to this. I'm sick of it.

Surely my life amounts to more than this steam of homoerotic poo?

TRB, go on, post one more of your obsequious blog articles, mae me feel like a man!! Go on!!

God, I love the attention, I love it.

Shame I'm in a bedsit with a hairy back and bunions.

B*****d Morrissey with all that money, fame, acclaim, and here I am... f*cked.. not literally.

Anyway, the blog's over, it's finished. What's the point?

Uncle skinny exposed me long ago.

Yours apologetically



  1. Enjoyed re-reading the MW piece, it makes me laugh every time. Dearest Broken, might you still consider rewarding our efforts with a new parody - pretty please?

  2. "Conversation is to love as sunlight to a flower"
    How beautiful & meaningful.

  3. aaw, poor Broken, chin up old son

  4. right now they are talking about David Icke on solo.. I may have got mixed up I thought he appeared in the MW blog but it may well have been on FTM.. either way I expect abuse to be thrown my way

  5. Hello Ratkins.
    I thought that the orangey fruit may have posted an update on Alf's latest tweets, but it would appear not. Perhaps I should update you more on the activity of Sunday night first: Astra was moaning about all the fake Moz accounts that have recently sprung up, saying that, "Too many Morrisseys ruin the soup" and "people are so easily led astray." Alf replied, "The soup is ruined my love. I may take my leave. It has been fun. But this could be goodbye." Alf then added, "Rejection is one thing but rejection from fools..?" and "Clever things are never simple but simple things are always clever." I presume that Astra and Alf were referring to the tediously boring St.Ill Morrissey and Astra's derrière twitter accounts that have recently opened. Goodness only knows why people are engaging with these impostors - they are most dull.

    Also on Sunday night, Alf tweeted to Astra, "My head is spinning and is wrapped around the octopus. Take that as you will." Astra replied, "I will take that then as your part being wrapped around mine darling. And we'll manage just fine, my dear." Astra also tweeted, "Octopus are not starfish. Break the heart, break the leg, nothing ever grows back." Alf responded, "You are the star of our fish darling", to which Astra came back with, "You are the apple of my tentacles." And then of course, the octopus video appeared on TTY 24 hours later.

    Before leaving on Sunday night, Alf tweeted, "Count down the 30 days. In 30 days I will be gone. You don't Like Me But You Love Me." He then added, "And nobody cares", before leaving a picture of the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio, and the Brazilian flag.

    Alf reappeared on Twitter last night, and Orange Mécanique took the opportunity to ask him what the Brazilian flag tweet meant. Alf replied, that it meant nothing, unless a TTY post happens to mention it, it which case it then does mean something! Alf also tweeted the following -

    "There is no point in living but try to have a point when you die."
    "Wherever you are please be wearing interesting clothes."
    "In between the hustle and bustle of the streets I feel as if I could never die."

    Picking up on the trending DescribleYourSexLifeInATvShow, Alf tweeted, "The Untouchables"

    He then tweeted to say that describing yourself in a Tv show was pointless, and suggested trying a film. He then tweeted "DescribeYourSexLifeInAFilm Angel Angel Down We Go" and then "Because We Must."

    When JesseNothing asked Alf if he was going to do a film about himself, he replied, "There is not enough time for a producer."

    Alf then asked everyone to describe their sex life in a song. Brian George tweeted "Disorder" by Joy Division to which Alf replied, "I never was a fan of Joy Division. I am yet to discover their appeal."

    Before leaving, Alf posted a few tweets taking the piss out of poor Ratty's lack of hair, and also asked if anyone was keeping count of all the coincidences. He signed off, "Spy. Spy." instead of 'Bye Bye', and when Kerry M enquired as to whether he meant 'Spy, spy, spy', Alf replied, "Who has time to say a word three times? Except Please." Say what you will about Alf, but he's a smart as a button. Button - get it? Oh, never mind.

    Alf did reappear again briefly to state, "Pigs are not food. Cows are not food. Lambs are not food." and "Animals are human." Alf then posted a picture of a bull being murdered and tweeted, "Animals are not food. Animals are not sport."

    Astra and Alf have recently become quite the double act; just as Astra and Broken used to be. They both keep appearing on Twitter at the same time - a coincidence of course. It's a shame that you aren't allowed to blog about Alf, Ratty, especially as Broken has sold you down the river.

    Ta Ta for now

    K A K


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