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Thursday, 28 July 2016

Day 1878 - Tour-tured

On May 18th of this year, Our Mozzer (@BRSChairman) appeared in The Wrong Arms - the Number 1 Morrissey themed internet pub - and tweeted a picture of the Australian flag. He then dragged me into the loos of the pub; which incidentally are not gender separated - Humaloos - and told me NOT to mention on FTM about Australia. Despite not wanting to upset The Mozziah, I took the decision that, as I am documenting the public internet offerings of Morrissey, I couldn't allow him to censor me, so on May 20th (Day 1710) I defied the Moz, and wrote about the Australian tweet.

Yesterday morning, I awoke to find a statement on True-To-You announcing a new tour, which includes 5 cities in...... Australia! Would you believe it? The answer to that is of course, "NO", no one does believe that @BRSChairman; with his measly 285 followers is Morrissey, but it's not as though I haven't given them a clue or two - in fact, there are now 1,878 pages of clues, but they don't want to believe, they are sleeping.

Morrissey will also be playing in the USA, Japan, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Singapore and Thailand between September 20 and November 23.


Our Mozzer returned once again to The Wrong Arms just after midday on Tuesday, and signed off just after midnight. Here are the highlights:

"Set list suggestions please."

This tweet received lots of replies, including a number from non BRS members. Perhaps there are far more people out there who believe OM to be the real Moz than I give credit for, or perhaps people just like suggesting Morrissey sets. One tweeter called Troubled Joe (@reademandsleep) replied to OM's tweet with, "the real Morrissey wouldn't ask for set list suggestions", to which OM responded, "you have just followed me to express an opinion that nobody cares about?" Troubled Joe then still had the audacity to suggest which songs should be played.

Dawn Mist responded to the set list request with, "I Want the One I Can't Have, Girlfriend in a Coma, There is a Light That Never Goes Out, What Difference Does It Make?". OM replied to this totally Smiths laden request with, "Am I to employ Joyce to play the drums too?" Perhaps Dawn only has Smiths CDs in that remote lighthouse of hers. If I knew where it was, I would send her a copy of You Are The Quarry.


I have noticed that the only two song requests that OM 'liked' or 'favourited' or whatever Twitter call it these days, were EARS request for I Changed My Plea To Guilty and Angel, Angel, Down We Go Together, and Brenda Gold's (@veryvary) request for Now My Heart Is Full. Does this 'favouriting' mean anything?

For my part, I listed half a dozen songs that I would love to hear in the set, which included Friday Mourning. Our Mozzer replied to this with, "Mourning maybe needs an airing." I then pointed out that I expected Mourning to be getting "an airing" seeing as there is currently a Friday Mourning themed t-shirt being sold in MPorium.
I then had a further conversation with OM about the t shirt:

MOZ: You're quite quick. Luckily set lists can be changed. The shirt will have to stay on sale mind. I'm not made of money.

RAT: If you sing the song, the shirt will sell more. It's a no brainer.

MOZ: I think I might keep those shirts to "give away" for £5 extra with tickets for the next tour. Or Boz can flog them in his shop.

RAT: I would lol, but I know you're being serious!

MOZ: Deadly

RAT: Are there any 'Mozziah' shirts left, or did they sell out in seconds?

MOZ: They are the current dust collectors. I'll no doubt be forced to "give them away" at some point.

Tuesday highlights continued:

"I've just located my quill. Perhaps I shall create a new tour diary. The nib is wet with anticipation."

"Admin bods have been summoned. Questions may or may not be answered."

A conversation then took place about Boy George having blocked Morrissey on twitter, following their little 'exchange' the other day. The conversation included participation from a fella called Mitch (@mitchxlouis):

MOZ: Who is going to wish me happy birthday now that @BoyGeorge has blocked me?"

RAT: BG has blocked you because you lashed him with your acidic tongue? Would he have blocked Oscar Wilde?

MOZ: I was one of his favourite tweeters for that reason. As long as it isn't directed at him it's acceptable.

MITCH: Ha, George's once witty tweets have indeed become tedious birthday greetings for practically anyone who begs for them

MOZ: No.7, Boy George. 8, anyone who is following, not blocked or allowing @BoyGeorge to follow them.

MITCH: I started something... or did you? The fawning fans are attacking us, they obviously have birthdays coming up...

MOZ: It's been quite entertaining. After all, like one sycophantic fan said, George is a living icon...

RAT: She surely meant toucan.

Our Mozzer signed off for the evening just after midnight, by announcing, "I rather like this young man (Mitch)". Mitch not only tweets well, but according to his twitter profile is, "Complete vegetarian, extremely left, somewhat bent, and rarely happy".... and he also happens to be a bit of a looker, so YES, I bet OM does like him!


Our Mozzer once again arrived in The Arms on Wednesday morning, and started off by retweeting his own tweet of the Australian flag from May 18th, whilst adding, "Well is that not strange".

In reply to Jaz asking if there would be new songs on tour, OM replied, "that sounds like hard work. I've been sunning myself for a while now."

The only other tweet posted yesterday morning was, "How many times did I utter the words 'tour' yesterday. Still they don't believe. Goodbye."

He returned at 8.30pm and rather ominously tweeted, "Not everything is as it seems. My mind is currently broken." I do hope things aren't too bad, or maybe he means that he literally is Broken - the pessoa. There are certainly signs of this twitter account being the work of Broken, and after all, Broken doesn't have a twitter account of his own these days.... and Broken would DEFINITELY like Mitch - he'd be right up his alley.

*Goes off grinning like a schoolboy*


  1. hi Ratty, how are you? I'm fine, but sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy due a very bad internet connection, I don't know what's happening here, but I'm missing a lot of interesting things on social...for not mention work, e-mails and so goes on. Just today I discovered about the tour and it was a wonderful surprise. I wish I could listen to Lost, Come back to Camden, just played in the beach bar, and Staircase...but I'm waiting for new songs too. Go off swimming now, to hot here! Have a nice evening, ciao!

  2. all that rain in Bergen has passed, tomorrow it will be sunny with clouds,i'm surprised no pics have appeared of a shivering Moz and Damon

    1. Funnily enough, FTM has been having hits from Norway since last week - I couldn't think who it could be.

    2. @hoarselycry???

    3. who knows, I just assumed that they would be out there ready to get started

    4. If this is really the first time you're seeing hits from Norway there must be something wrong ...I read your blob regularly.

  3. I had a feeling after Chairman's tweet last night that we might see Broken soon, and I wasn't disappointed. Australia is just another coincidence, of course.

  4. Just woke up "Smelling Roses".....

  5. Find me where you hide me and squander me the same way I squander glitter. The movement of the night is the movement of your fright. Do you exist or do you simply live. Well my darling there is no simple living. There must be overt decadence at every turn. I exist because I say I exist. I live because others tell me I do. Become a victim if you feel it becomes you but do not put me under the same category. I am no fool. The champagne evacuates the bottle and ruptures my liver. I would have it no other way. The feeling of the meaning is revealing. Time draws me closer to the grave, but there is still time to save this soul. Do not object to any of the offerings of life. Become monogamous, become polyamorous, become asexual, become sexual. Be broken or be fixed. Be tricked or trick. Be rough or smooth. Just don't be indifferent. Do not be indifferent to my love.


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